What would you do if you were a youkai?

[Anonymous No.]

You exist because schizo monkeys are scared of the dark

[Anonymous No.]

look for love

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
I'll go for a female human

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
sex with humans

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
YWNBAY

[Anonymous No.]

masturbate

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
Depends on the youkai. Being a shitter like Mystia or Kogasa sounds pretty bad. Only marginally more tolerable than being a human villager. But being a kappa or a tengu sounds pretty sweet besides having to eat anus balls and living in a strict hierarchical society.

I would probably get a job working with computers, this is assuming I still have my old memory, and spend most of my free time hanging around the human village or rescuing outsiders. At least until I get my hands on a gameboy or the like.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877548
>end most of my free time hanging around the human village or rescuing outsiders
Wouldn't you be breaking rules? Youkai are forbidden to interact with villagers openly, only allowed for things like businesses and such, and if you rescue outsiders you'd be seen as a disgrace to your kind

[Anonymous No.]

Prostitution used to be a big thing in ancient Japan. Why can't ZUN add prostitution to his games? It's an integral part of Japanese culture, traditions and values.

That being said, if I were a female youkai like Kogasa, Mystia, Kyouko, Rumia, Alice or others I would work at a brothel

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877588
>Wouldn't you be breaking rules?
If I don't act too open about being a youkai I think it would be fine. Just go around pretending to be a normal human and drinking with locals. At worst I would probably be a annoying little shit to any children that go bother me.

>, and if you rescue outsiders you'd be seen as a disgrace to your kind
Who cares? Most youkai are shitters. Tengu would probably view you as a weirdo, but leave it at that. Kappa might be annoyed if you have a quote of Shirokame to extract. Though, if I can bribe the people I help for information or tech I doubt they would be that mad.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
That depends, what kind am I? If I had the choice I'd go with oni.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877615
Realistically the human village would probably have prostitutes, but obviously ZUN is never going to show or mention that.

I could see youkai working as prostitutes just to fuck with humans. Like an Jorōgumo working as a proustite only to tie up her victim and steal all of their crap. Probably give them a good nice scare before she leaves. It also seems like typical fox behavior. Probably shapeshift into Marisa first.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877644
>Oni
That would mean you would be locked to the underworld, which is kind of shit.

Otherwise it sounds pretty rad. Just going around drinking and causing trouble for fun.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877646
*Working as a prostitute

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877657
Are they actually locked there or are they just living there by choice? Suika seems to be able to go up top at least.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877657
Underworld youkai actually seem to have rather comfy lives, they even have a contract with surface world dwellers that specify that youkai on the surface can't come in here, but underworld youkai are free to go the surface whenever they want

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877674
eh, to be honest i'd rather be a prestigious youkai that live in a mansion like a vampire and has respect among other youkai rather than being a big dumb brute feared only for strength

i wanna be part of the youkai nobility

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877671
I think Oni are living there by choice mostly insofar that nobody could stop them if they decided to return to the surface.

>>44877674
Are they? I know they sometimes move to the surface world, but on average they don't seem to do it that often.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877695
>i wanna be part of the youkai nobility
How is that any more dignified? Larping like a human is rather undignified, especially for a powerful youkai. Remilia gets a pass because she's a weirdo outsider that went on a massive rampage when she first arrived. Even then, she doesn't seem to get that much respect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877707
They don't do it often mostly because they prefer to not be chained to any rule and want to live life the most free way possible, hecatia mentions that this is an ideology that hell in general share amongst its inhabitants (complete antithesis to the lunarians's ideology of totalitarianism and control)

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877695
>youkai nobility
I laugh at such notion because even the most "noble" youkai is still lower than the most peasant human
There is no nobility among monsters

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877729
Does that make Suika a weirdo?

I mean, she doesn't really give a fuck but she does still somewhat accept the rules of Gensokyo.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877775
>Does that make Suika a weirdo?
Yea, if i remember correctly she was mentioned to somehow be slightly less honest than an average Oni

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
i would cease to exist, i would be a soulless monster whose only purpose in existence is to be a stain on humans

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877695
I just want to become an oni, marry Yuugi, and help her operate the onsen.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877830
So, just a normal /JP/ user?

>>44877796
Being beheaded by a gold obsessed biker probably fucked her up more than she wants to admit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
Rape humans.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876252
Hi

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878055
Even shotas?

[Anonymous No.]

Probably get killed by Reimu or Marisa due to them keeping balance.
So I guess I'll enjoy talking to Komachi or end up stacking stones with Eika or something.
>>44877747
Yet nobles need peasants to exist just like youkai need humans, they are pretty similar in a certain way.

[Anonymous No.]

if you're a male youkai you should kill yourself asap since you serve no purpose, but if you're a female youkai you can make yourself useful by prostituting your body to humans

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878242
>make yourself useful by prostituting your body to humans
This but me specifically

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878171
>Probably get killed by Reimu or Marisa due to them keeping balance.
Assuming you aren't a villager it should be fine. Just don't do anything obviously stupid and behave yourself.

I know that most people on this site are weirdo freaks. But as long as you don't murder villagers indiscriminately you can basically get away with anything as a youkai. Rape, theft, maiming, jaywalking, murdering outsiders.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878373
Yeah, Gensokyo is a paradise for youkai

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878409
I mean, as a weak youkai you you are still likely to suffer at the hands of stronger youkai. But they are pretty unlikely to kill you, at worst they'll just beat you up.

Also, assuming you get to keep your human intelligence you will be literally above 99% of the youkai population. Which has to be put to good use considering even a birdbrain like Mystia was able to pull off a good scam.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878373
Picrel wasn't a villager though, so there is still a chance you get insta killed.
Although I guess we know that at least tengus and other youkai lay big ass eggs. So at least some are born safely I guess.
Then I guess the plan would be similar to what to if gapped to Gensokyo:
Get info about how magic works, probably from Rinnosuke by telling him how tools of the outside world work, helping him to set up a computer and so on, not sure if he would be disappointed by computers or fascinated though.
I guess getting info from Suzu's books or Akyuu might be a bit harder as a youkai though.
And getting info from others like Marisa, Patche, Alice and Eirin on magic might be a bit harder but they all clearly have more practical knowledge, so I would have to plan how to get info from them.
While I learn about magic see how stuff really is in Gensokyo I guess and since I'm a youkai focus on investigating how youkai work and stuff, not sure if that would threaten my existence though.
Also be friendly to humans and stuff, if some youkai can get away putting zero effort into spooking humans guess I'll be fine and would just have to bear with Aya and others calling me a disgrace of a youkai and getting beaten up every now and then.
Could be a fun life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44879189
>Picrel wasn't a villager though,
? I thought he was. I mean, he was dead for a while but he was a villager beforehand.

Either way though, if you are born as a Tengu I doubt anybody would care. Reincarnation is a thing in the Touhou universe after all.

>Also be friendly to humans and stuff, if some youkai can get away putting zero effort into spooking humans
Just fuck with the occasional villager. I'm sure that would be sufficient.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44879256
Nah picrel is the shoe tsukumogami, which ironically gets stomped before becoming a full fledged youkai or something like that.
https://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Minor_Characters#Unnamed_Kutsutsura

[Anonymous No.]

>>44880496
Oh right, you meant that thing.

Going by the wiki it was killed to protect Kosuzu. So, you should probably just be careful of that.

[Anonymous No.]

eat human meat i guess
perhaps it doesn't taste good as a human but will taste delicious as a youkai

[Anonymous No.]

>>44883539
Why would you do that?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44883548
im a youkai, why should i care at that point? Im gonna need some of that human fear or meat to keep existing

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
I'm gonna constantly lewd women woth my shape-shifting and spread tales about a lewd youkai while going under cover in the village. Give me a year or so and I'll either be exterminated or I'll become a youkai that lives off of lewd behavior.
My goal is to impregnate at least 3 cute female villagers a year

[Anonymous No.]

>>44878242
What if I dress up as a female youkai?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44884221
Yukari has a strict 'no gays allowed' policy. You'll be gapped straight into firey hell

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
I would head straight for the Moriya shrine and express my admiration for Kanako. Unaccustomed to sincere expressions of devotions without any strings attached, she immediately declares that we are to be wed. I subsequently burn to death on our wedding night from the holy water springing forth from her crotch.
The Yama will then sentence me to hell for my folly, while secretly chuckling to herself because even she thinks that my death was hilarious.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44883777
> why should i care at that point?
The Buddhist afterlife exists and you are going to hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44884378
the yama doesn't judge youkai in the same way they do to humans, for example eiki encourage yuuka to terrorize humans more while encouraging reimu to exterminate youkai more, nobody except humans would give a fuck about me eating human meat

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
I would sleep

[Anonymous No.]

>>44886036
Terrorize is not murder. Unless Eiki directly encourages Youkai to kill people, I don't think she would be okay with eating people considering buddhism is pretty pro vegetarianism.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
>schizo monkeys are scared of the dark
Why would satoris be scared of the dark?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
I would fuck hot yokai girls and other 2hus. Only problem is i'm male so Raymoo would probably kill me. If i were a girl who was also a named character she wouldn't but im not a troon. Would also dick down any outside world human girls who find their way into Gensokyo. I'd also just explore try and go beyond Gensokyo as well.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44890980
They can still eat meat if they want to. But eating the other kind of meat for it's own sake (and not to make more people) is forbidden i think.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44890980
That's almost like a cope, it's literally youkai nature to attack and eat humans, in the same way it's human nature to capture and butcher animals for food, you think the yama are going to send every youkai in hell just for following their nature? that would be discrimination, the yama are said to be unbiased, they judge each beings based on their kind and will not favor humans just because they complain about being eaten

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
be like rumia i guess

[Anonymous No.]

>>44897540
>in the same way it's human nature to capture and butcher animals for food,
Correct, and Buddhism still views that as evil and you would be punished accordingly.

> you think the yama are going to send every youkai in hell just for following their nature?
1: Yes. 2: I don't even know if Youkai go to the afterlife.

>he yama are said to be unbiased, they judge each beings based on their kind and will not favor humans just because they complain about being eaten
That's the exact opposite of being unbiased.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44903711
She's really got it together.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
Chill out and get involved in an incident so Reimu will beat me up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44903794
>Literally flies into trees all the time because her brain is stupid.
Do like this image though. Nice and dark.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44903794
She can't read but she's really got things put together. She's very resourceful

[Anonymous No.]

>>44903794
>>44903828
>>44904059
Would she make a good MGS boss?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44905003
>Boss
Please. Yukari or Hecatia, that's a boss.

Solid snake would deal with somebody like Rumia as a mook.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877615
anon if you look at the popularity poll like 60% of the fanbase is underage and mass votes for flandre

[Anonymous No.]

>>44905003
She would be a common enemy type. The real boss fight would be Reisen since she is a former soldier and can fuck with peoples minds. Could have her ability effect your perception and even information on your HUD. The way to beating her would be some obscure retarded shit like you usually see in the mgs games. It would either involve throwing a carrot at her to bait her, dressing up in an Eirin costume and scaring the shit out of her so you can attack her while she's stun locked. Or putting on a Hime-cut wig so you can lure her in and CQC her to the ground. The boss fight only starts after she gives long, overly dramatic speeches about war and the moon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877615
>That being said, if I were a female youkai like Kogasa, Mystia, Kyouko, Rumia, Alice or others I would work at a brothel
You will never be a real 2hu. If i were a male yokai i'd become a male prostitute. A big well hung manwhore who gives all the wives and girls what they cant get from their man. I'd set might sights on named characters for the most part. Pic related is what I would look like.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
I would tease humans until they rape me

[Anonymous No.]

>>44912547
He looks like he has a friend named Wilson.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44912460
Youkai are basically just Metal Gear Solid 2 patriots.
>"To begin with -- we're not what you'd call -- human. Over the past four thousand years -- A kind of consciousness formed layer by layer in the crucible of Gensokyo. It's not unlike the way life started in the oceans four billion years ago. Japanwas our primordial soup, a base of evolution -- We are formless. We are the very fear and superstition that Humans invoke so often. How can anyone hope to eliminate us? As long as humanity exists, so will we.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44923813
Fear and superstition?

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
look for love

[Anonymous No.]

>>44905003
Darkness manipulation sounds like it would be a MGS boss power with a funny drawback like neither party being able to see in the darkness and you have to use sound ques to figure out where she is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44876197
Crank 90s on kids in Fortnite

[Anonymous No.]

>>44877274
the last thing he saw before he died was her panties

[Anonymous No.]

>>44929001
This is actually how she works, she doesn't have nightvision, or her areas are complete darkness so even dark vision doesn't work in them.
She bumbs around in an orb of darkness completely blind.

[Anonymous No.]

>>44923813
I had an idea for a long time that the Yakumos functioned as the patriots. Controlling the outside world with their magic and accumulated wealth and power from the shadows. ''Everything has its boundary. Boundaries define people, places, events and even numbers. A boundary exists between 0 and 1 and 1 and 100. We had helped turn Okina into 100. Her sin was ours. And for that reason, I'm taking it upon myself to make Okina...boundless.''

[Anonymous No.]

>>44929001
>>44934299
Tfw the cutscene breaks because her darkness aoe is still active.