/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

How do i get Yukari to kidnap me and rape me?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
Wait your turn.

[Anonymous No.]

she is too old and frail for that

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
Keep posting about how old she i

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
Follow me
"Wow, that sure looks like a feeble old gra

[Anonymous No.]

Yukari is powerful enough that she general gets what she wants.
So you need to become someone she would want. Study young men who've mysteriously disappeared and try to emulate them.

Ettora Majorana comes to mind:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ettore_Majorana
There are probably many other examples you could emulate, in case you can't make important discoveries in fundamental physics.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
just become 12 years old and she'll find you

[Anonymous No.]

>>43569123
does she like shota?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43569131
every 2hu is a shotacon

[Anonymous No.]

>>43569878
Even chen?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43570350
Especially Chen.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
I want her to do mean things to my testicles

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
You'd have to couch her through the rape part because she'd have no idea what to do.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>43576662
But anon doesn't know how to rape either.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43576662
if she knows how to kidnap she know how to rape too

[Anonymous No.]

sexo con viejas

[Anonymous No.]

Well, what kind of qualities would this gap youkai look for that would make someone rape-worthy? Besides being a virgin obviously.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43584826
she is a shotacon, so youthfulness obviously. Or twinkness

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
Hey look at this funny picture I fou

[Anonymous No.]

>>43584905
so nice of her to complete the captcha and hit submit button.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43584826
High int, high cha

[Anonymous No.]

>>43585037
She knows it's funny. Maybe she isn't all bad, that h

[Anonymous No.]

>>43590119
Now c'mon guys, let's all be nice here.
Yukari isn't some old bridge troll, she's a lovely and powerful youkai, ageless in her beauty.
It doesn't MATTER that she's a few thousand years o

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>43590147
Nah fuck h

[Anonymous No.]

what does yukari do in her meme dimension
does she just float around

[Anonymous No.]

You guys are being way too harsh on her. Age is a good thing for youkai. They don't grow old like humans and can remain at their peak forever, a youkai surviving for many years is proof of how powerful and crafty they really are. Her age is proof of her power and intelligence. However, it is pathetic that despite all of this, she's still a virg

[Anonymous No.]

>>43590811
How does a youkai gets in debt?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567621
But I want hag sex now!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43584863
>>43590101
Well then I guess I have little to worry about then ha ha.

[Anonymous No.]

Imagine the luxurious softness of her feet, I want to massage them

[Anonymous No.]

>>43598474
Damnit, she's messed with the border of this guy's reasoning.
Why does Yukari get off on making other people weird?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43598474
Get in line pal, her soft feet are mine!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567851
It is stated in Yukari Yakumo's Perfect Cherry Blossom profile that outsiders generally end up in Gensokyo thanks to fluctuations in the border caused by her. Since the frequency of encountering them is considered to be "low", it might mean that outsiders don't end up in Gensokyo very often. The majority of outsiders that end up in Gensokyo seem to have little knowledge of technology. Because of this, any technology they bring into Gensokyo, such as mobile phones, can not be reproduced. However, outsiders still bring knowledge into Gensokyo that's otherwise unattainable, and thus are valued for that.

Yukari chooses which humans can enter Gensokyo based on their level of spiritual power and intelligence.
"They immediately put a tool called a 'mobile phone' to their ears, and after that are at a loss as of what to do next."
— Hieda no Akyuu

Outsiders are not protected by the contract that came as a result of the Vampire Incident. In fact, the unbreakable devil's contract specifically stipulates that the vampires get outsiders to feed on in exchange for not attacking Gensokyo's native residents.
Yukari mentions to herself that "youkai may attack humans but do not eat them recklessly."

So, Yukari gets low spirit level humans with little knowledge to enter Gensokyo for eating.
She actively avoids anyone smart enough to recreate technology, those who could unite the human village and those who have a high spiritual power level. As well as only taking those nobody will notice is gone or whose disappearance won't cause a stir.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
Step 1: Be attractive

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Why isn’t this gap woman more popular?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43611147
Not even the best hag, and /jp/ likes lolis

[Anonymous No.]

>>43611147
The perverted old man took her role as powerful schemer working behind the scenes.
Yukari is just comic (and semen) relief now.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43611150
I think she's pretty neat. And to each their own I guess.

>>43611214
Sad times for Ms. Yakumo then. Maybe she'll get her mojo back some day?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Damn, I guess the jay really doesn’t care for this lovely lady.

[Anonymous No.]

Higing Yukari's dementia medication so she forgets who Chen is and attacks her!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43626134
More like lonely lady lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>43611147
Why should she? That Yukari is now a niche means that those of us that like her get to have comfy and slow threads instead of spamming from idiots and newfags. Just look at some of the replies above yours or replying to you.

Is better this way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43639238
I want the gap autist to try and seduce me, only for it to backfire and make herself look stupid since she added too many parts to her scheme.
And then we fuck like rabbits all night.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43639238
i loved yukari before, but now that she's generally seen as more of a dork, she has only become more charming to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43642997
Rabbits are dumb.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43643268
Not the best hag, but a 3rd place for me.
Classic and Iconic Yukarin tits.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43649241
WRONG

[Anonymous No.]

>>43611147
People have shit taste

[Anonymous No.]

>>43606929
what is step 2?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43664473
Be high int

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
yukari is just sack of really really really old sacks

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
I love Yukari

[Anonymous No.]

Her face reminds me of Ganon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43569878
>>43569123
>get gapped into Gensokyo
>become a shota again and every 2hu wants you
>get gapped again and meet pic related
What do you do?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43677539
>t. homosexual

[Anonymous No.]

>>43643268
Yukari being a dork is more or less some made up bullshit by newfags, anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43569878
That just means that even if by some miracle you happen to get together with your favourite 2hu she'll always leave you after a few years pass. Just dump you on the side of the road for a piece of younger dick.
Remember that, shotacuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43678758
>Implying most shit about touhou isn't completely made up

[Anonymous No.]

>>43678824
Despite 2hous having a short script, eacj character have their own set personality on the games, even simplistic ones. So yeah she being a dork is retarded head canon by people who do not care about the source material.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43678809
Good thing my wife is into balding fat ugly bastards, i age like wine for her!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43678809
>>43678964
Fuck off cuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43678953
They are very busy being retarded threadreaders and shitposting in discord, please understand.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43679087
That's what that statement means though. If she's not interested in you *for you*, just in you being a shota, then she's just a slut for young cock. And when you're not young anymore she'll move on to the next youngster in line. As it happens with "every 2hu". Your fantasy, not mine.
I'd rather have Yukari be crazy in love with me as I am.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43679259
Silly anon! Man eating monsters cant be in love.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43679259
Gappy's love is like a landmine

[Anonymous No.]

>>43683451
Nobody is gonna try to get to her before me? She's laid out especially to draw me in?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43683451
Like landmines in movies, if you try to step off of it you'll probably lose your legs?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43686185
So Yukari would chop your legs off to keep you at her side? That sounds very extreme.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43686217
Who knows? I'm just trying to guess what he meant. It may not even necessarily be losing legs, just any reaction that's as potent and undesirable as setting off a landmine. You shouldn't be hanging out near landmines in the first place anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43686655
Ah of course.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43617175
Why is she happy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43686655
The heart wants what the hear wants, and Yukari's heart wants (You)

[Anonymous No.]

>>43686655
Why does she have blood on her gloves…?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43611214
>The perverted old man
Who?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43687577
She is learning medicine with Eirin and just did her first prostate exam.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43679087
But what if I am a fat, balding repulsive bastard? Is it really cucking anymore?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43687577
She was eating tomato soup with her hands.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43687756
Okina

[Anonymous No.]

>>43688267
Sounds bad for that poor bastard she did it to then.

>>43688724
No spoon? Sounds messy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43688724
that's wild

[Anonymous No.]

>>43689089
It's a power move. I bet if you watched someone scoop up tomato soup with their white gloved hands, you wouldn't want to mess with them and would want to get away immediately.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43695839
I would definitely be weirded out if I were to witness such a bizarre sight. So I guess that is more power to Yukari in this oddly specific case.
I’d offer her a spoon or a napkin though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43677885
>what do you do?
hot sex

[Anonymous No.]

>>43677885
Ask to be my previous age again. I'd miss the ability to reach the high shelf and being too ugly for women to hit on me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
You wait your turn

[Anonymous No.]

>>43701038
when is my turn to be raped

[Anonymous No.]

The Unabomber is now in Gensoyko

[Anonymous No.]

>>43708972
Would Yukari even want Ted?

[Anonymous No.]

I want to give this beautiful young lady a foot massage.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43712672
He's too power for her to want to kidnap but Ted could still get in as he enters into legend now that he's dead

[Anonymous No.]

>>43712672
no because Ted is too smart

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718557
This but not her feet.
>>43718628
>>43718775
Huh. Could've sworn reading that Yukari does like to gap in people she thinks has value or talent.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718799
value to her, not value in general
High int people have the greatest potential to fuck around and so are threats to her nature preserve

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718812
Ah so Ted wouldn't be someone on her list.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718628
Touhou 20 will introduce Tedeline, the Gumberoo girl.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718812
High spirit power, High charisma and High intelligence are the most dangerous to her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718557
I would kiss them too

[Anonymous No.]

>>43718799
What part of her would you want to massage then?

>>43719827
Me too. I’m sure she’d appreciate the devotion and attention.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43719982
Her back.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43720126
Pretty basic honestly, but Yukari would most likely enjoy having a back rub. Don’t forget to get her shoulders too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43720213
Can't forget those.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43720241
I'll make them bigger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43719982

[Anonymous No.]

I love her gloves so much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43731211
They do look very nice, I guess they taste nice too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43730914
She looks like she wants a foot massage. And she’s going to do some teasing too while it’s being done.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43731819
Her gloves are for receiving back rubs, receiving cheek rubs and holding until she needs them, not for eating.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43732693
I'd certainly prefer those things instead of trying to eat silk or whatever they're made of. But she's the one tasting them, who am I to say she's wrong?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43731842
I want to be the one to give it

[Anonymous No.]

>>43734302
Me too.

[Anonymous No.]

My gorgeous wife Yukarin!

[Anonymous No.]

>>43744318
It must be annoying to have a wife who hibernates through winter.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43734743
I bet they're so soft

[Anonymous No.]

>>43749377
Soft and smooth, perfect for rubbing and helping her to relax. Yukari takes good care of herself but she would surely appreciate a hand here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
Don't you have to be suicidal or something to get noticed?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43752150
That’s one of the ways to be noticed by her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43752150
If you want to be food for minor youkai. You probably want to aim for the lofty height of being food for high-class youkai.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43752150
gotta be smart enough to be interesting to her but not so smart that she can't manipulate you
the gap hag is evil

[Anonymous No.]

Capturing Yukari and storing her in a psychic suppression stabilization chamber
Stripping Yukari of her powers and constructing a boundary for her primary energetic field
Matching her energetic field to a muon particle aggregating vessel so that she may become human
Reconstructing her 5th dimensional connectome so that her memories have always been faithful to me forever
Going on a hike with Yukari!

[Anonymous No.]

How do I kidnap and rape Yukari?

[Anonymous No.]

>>43759675
Do what >>43759663 did.

[Anonymous No.]

>>43759496
I will beat Yukari in a challenge to win her hand in marriage

[Anonymous No.]

>>43567603
happened to me in a dream once