/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

If Touhous became call girls would you hire one?
How much would you be willing to pay?

And who would you request?

pic related

[Anonymous No.]

Remilia and I'd pay with my blood

[Anonymous No.]

My budget doesn't allow such expenditures.

[Kurai !MEIDOh12Vo No.]

I'd hire them all and take them out for coffee.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd be highly suspicious because some of them do eat humans.

[Koakuma !!QTSq2xniWw5 No.]

No, I hate sluts.

[Anonymous No.]

I would weep for them if they got that kind of job. It just makes me sad.

[Anonymous No.]

I would pay them to stop whoring themselves.

Except for Tenshi... and Reisen.

I would pay them with my fists.

[BOOF !AWEsomEEEE!!g4pQz5RFuPl No.]

just throw her a can of bud

[Anonymous No.]

>>2586811
everyone's gotta earn a living somehow

[Anonymous No.]

Hard decision. My dislike of used goods versus my desire to fuck you're Touhou. I really don't know.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2586819
Scratch that, On second thought i would murder all of them and repeatedly rape the corpses until my penis falls off.

KEKEKEKEEKEKE

[Anonymous No.]

>>2586806
taken from wiki

Non-sex work

While sexual contact usually plays a prominent role in a call girl's work, not all clients hire call girls exclusively for sex, or in some case for any sex at all. Some simply do so either for social reasons (e.g. attending a party) or for companionship (e.g. someone who feels lonely may hire a girl to provide companionship missing in his or her life). Other call girls may specialize in domination, or other fetishes which do not require intimate sexual activity.[4]


Companionship

Elderly and/or widowed men sometimes hire call girls for companionship, simply to enjoy the company of an attractive or intelligent woman. Escort agencies try to determine if this is what a client wants and if it is, the agency will try to send their most educated and polite women to the man or woman. It is not unusual for these "chat" call girls to receive big tips or even bequests from clients.[5] [6] In the movie Klute, Bree Daniels performs this service for an elderly garment manufacturer.

Social settings

Instead of sex, the client may simply desire to impress his or her peers by having an attractive woman as his or her date, or even pretend girlfriend or wife. The client may, for example, be attending a high school or college class reunion or an office social event. Clients seeking this service will tell the escort service what their intention is. They may specify what kind of woman they seek to play this role. The client may meet with the woman beforehand to evaluate her level of intelligence, education, manners, speech, and ability to execute the pretense, as well as to judge her appearance. They would go over his or her past, her (pretend) past and their feigned relationship, in order to successfully carry out the pretense.[7]

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

Oh, man.

This...this is probably the best idea ever.

I'd probably blow an ungodly amount of money on them. In fact, I'd probably get a Frequent Customer discount on them.

Hmm, let's see...I'd pick Aya out for the times when I felt like being an exhibitionist. She's the expert on public sex, after all. We would do fun things such as having her wear an egg vibrator on her clit in public, walking around topless or with no underwear on underneath, fingering her or groping her in front of others and watching her squirm and moan, etc etc...

[Anonymous No.]

Alice, so I can fap to her stutter.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

Ran I would rent out for when I felt like indulging in 'Hot Mom' fantasies.
Buy her a nice little two-piece microkini and then it's off to the beach to rub some suntan lotion on her breasts and bask in the stares from all the jealous bros.
Or I'd watch her do housework in high heels, a tube skirt, and a tight tanktop...

[Anonymous No.]

>>2586850
>call girl
>intelligent woman
What.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

Yuyuko would be the experienced Domme who makes subby little boys and girls squeal. She can do things with her body that would make even the most jaded of porn-stars gasp in shock.
Needless to say I'd buy some time with her to seem classy and experienced as well. She'd play along for a while, putting on a tight little black number and going to the theater with me, or perhaps a five-star restaurant.

[Anonymous No.]

This is the kind of thread I'd never expect to see in /jp/. People wanting sluts.
What the fuck, guys. Stop trying to take over the board.

[Anonymous No.]

Same as I always pay: $300 for an good looking woman willing to give a GFE, $350 for a GFE that gives BBJ's and $400 for GFE's that allow me the pleasure of cumming inside of.

[Anonymous No.]

payday would be sweet, every week i'd do a new touhou

>>2586895
subby?

>>2586876
that's not even funny, you're the one who's not intelligent due to thinking so archaically

[Anonymous No.]

enjoy being in the company of a call girl who has had a hundred cocks inside her

[Anonymous No.]

If i can convince cute asian girls to cosplay as touhous, would you guys really be interested in this?

Finally I can fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a pimp...

[Anonymous No.]

Keep going, Arcueid. I'm intrigued.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587043
That is my fetish.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587044
Would I pay for company? No, never. Whores are for losers. I don't want to believe you guys would go so low either. That's just not how a man should act like.

[Remilia Scarlet !!0l42/w//XuF No.]

>>2586806
This.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587076
>That's just not how a man should act like.
I, for one, would rescue a Touhou from her predicament under the pretense of hiring one for sexual gratification.

She'd be scared and ask me why I'm doing it, and I'd just smile, shake my head and tell her it doesn't matter why, you're free from your mental chains and free to live your life as you please.

Then with tears in her eyes she would hug me tightly and say thank you, thank you, thank you!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587107

Then, after taking all of your money, she will go back to the life of prostitution. True story.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587122
NO WE WOULD RUN AWAY TO MY VILLA GODDAMN

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587107
Real men still exist? I just almost shed a tear.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587129
you mean your mom's basement?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587076
/jp/ doesn't actually give a shit about any of the characters they claim to love, and are full of hypocritical faggots.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587107
Glad to see I'm not the only /jp/sy with a hero complex for fallen women.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587107
I can't imagine most of the Touhou cast would be in a situation like this if they didn't want to be. They'd be more irritated that some dumbass is wasting their time trying to "rescue" them. Although Remilia might go for it just for the satisfaction at the end when she drinks your blood and watches your face as you realize your horrible mistake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587144
I can't imagine most of the Touhou cast would want to be in a situation like this in the first place.

If she says she really wanted to do this, she's just a filthy impersonating cosplayer in my mind. She would not have the heart and soul of what I believe the true character is like.

[Anonymous No.]

Touhou characters would just blow the shit out of anyone who messed with them.

Lesbian pairings with other Touhou characters only, please

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587170
No sexual lesbian pairings. No OTPs. Friendships only.

[None !fbkU8aMcYU No.]

sakuya. i'd barter for her services with tea.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd just cuddle Alice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587169
Well in a Hajime Taira doujin they would be. So use that as a starting point.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd just hang out with Yuyuko, maybe play video games with her or something.

As she sits on my face, of course.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587190
Anyone got a bigger/higher res version of this?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587219
http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/452756

[Anonymous No.]

I would get Reisen and take her away from the horrible lifestyle she is in, kinda like with Taxi Driver.

My final plan, however, is to make her mai waifu. ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587107
me in the front

[Anonymous No.]

So ronery ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>2586854
This.

[Anonymous No.]

I would pay handsomely for one delicious night of sweet bliss.

[Anonymous No.]

Marisa
But I'd just use up all the time I paid for just talking.

[「ロリあき」 No.]

Shanghai, because dolljoints. Non-toxic dolljoints.

[None !KYON.wwv9s No.]

>>2587316
It would be like putting your dick in a bag of gunpowder, probably.

[Anonymous No.]

If they are Touhou characters I wouldn't mind sexing them even if they've had thousands of dicks in them. Hell, even if I saw a man cum inside of Chen I wouldn't hesitate for sloppy seconds.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd pick up Tenshi, then lock her in the basement dungeon I'd have prepared for her.
We could spend the rest of our lives together in bliss~

[Anonymous No.]

"A Cleveland steamer? Yeah yeah, I can do that. Gonna cost you extra, though. A hundred the first time and fifty every time after that, as soon as I'm ready to go again. That alright with you?"

[Anonymous No.]

Ran

So I can play with the tails.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587179

I love you, sir. You make the internet a better place.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587351

[Anonymous No.]

>>2588402
he does not

[Anonymous No.]

>>2588505
He is kissing his own ass. Anonymously. On the internet.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't know, somehow paying for sex ironically cheapens the experience.

If I could somehow pay to have my waifu cuddle with me for hours, engaging in foreplay almost to the point of pain, and repeatedly having consensual sex in the missionary position then yea I might consider it. Otherwise, I'd forgo the whole prostitution thing and try to court her to make her my real waifu.

[Anonymous No.]

I hate it when Arc starts with his roleplaying shit and ruins threads.

[Anonymous No.]

My wife being a slut is impossible by default. It's a contradiction, an oxymoron if you will

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2588892

>If I could somehow pay to have my waifu cuddle with me for hours, engaging in foreplay almost to the point of pain, and repeatedly having consensual sex in the missionary position then yea I might consider it.

That's precisely what you'd get if you called up a Touhou escort. And even then, you're not always guaranteed a lay at the end of the session.

The appeal, for me, lies more in the fact that I'd be going places and doing things with said Touhou, enjoying a celebrity status of sorts. I'd enjoy Yukari's company for this reason in particular - she would be a welcome addition when I choose to appear at balls for charity, award ceremonies, and other such high-profile events covered by the media.
Having a statuesque, mature-seeming woman would vastly improve my credibly, to say nothing of her glib tongue and quick wit.
Or when I'm only out to enjoy my Saturday night to the fullest I'd arrange to have her meet me at some lounge as though I were a stranger, and ply her with drinks and light conversation. Not only would I be indulging myself in a little seduction, but I'd also enjoy VIP status in her presence.
And there is the sex, of course. But we all know Yukari has centuries of experience, so I need not describe just what a life-changing event THAT would be.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

Does it have to be sexual, or just hire for any general purpose?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589032

Of course not.

Whether you make it sexual or not is another story entirely.

[Anonymous No.]

>Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6
>HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

You see, the anons who keep jumping up and down and screaming about sex slavery seem to have forgotten that Escorts aren't contractually bound to service your sexual needs, nor do they work under a pimp. You could hire a Touhou just to spice up a social gathering, if you wanted. Or to fool your family and friends into thinking that you got in good with some rich lady.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2589116

Was thinking more along the lines of bringing some muscle and bottomless ale absorbant for the upcoming Summer campaign.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589116
Yuka has 2 left feet in that pic.

[Anonymous No.]

Probably call up Patchouli, for an interdimensional exchange of arcane knowledge. It would be mutually beneficial, to be sure.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587043
>enjoy being in the company of a call girl who has had a hundred cocks inside her

What, at the same time?

[Anonymous No.]

the old hag would be expensive as fuck

better start saving

[Anonymous No.]

>>2588975
>I'd enjoy Yukari's company for this reason in particular - she would be a welcome addition when I choose to appear at balls for charity, award ceremonies, and other such high-profile events covered by the media.

Do to Fun With Portals, you could be having wild sex with her the entire time during these highly private events with no one knowing.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589122

Sounds pleasant enough.

While you do that, I'd be popping champagne and cracking open steamed lobsters in some posh restaurant with Kanako. After all, if it hasn't got at least two Michelin stars, you might as well forget about taking her there.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589124
>Yuka has 2 left feet in that pic.

What does it matter how well she can dance?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2588975

If that's the case, couldn't you find a refined call girl irl and do exactly what you just described?

I'm always nonplussed when I meet Touhou fans that don't like delicious flat chests. It's like, if I were attracted to mature women, then I'd be a complete normalfag (albeit a bit nerdy) who wouldn't go out of his way to find obscure shit like Touhou. But unfortunately, we can't choose the hands we're dealt so here I am.

What is it you find to be so special in Yukari that can't be found in 3-D women may I ask?

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589136

Oh, the crone would be astronomically high in price, but the Cougar experience she'd give you would be second to none.

Here's another expensive one - Kaguya Houraisan. This fine East Asian beauty would no doubt command a premium for just one night, and no wonder. She's noble stock, after all. You'd have an excellent companion in her, someone that you would want to be seen with. And she's a perfect specimen of exotic Asian beauty.
I'd personally choose her just so that I could troll all the Asian-American folk in my neighborhood. I would take her to some expensive Japanese restaurant and bask in the glares from everyone while supping on warm miso soup and cool salad

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

I'd hire a Touhou and get them to play all the STG's on lunatic mode.

[Anonymous No.]

Hire Tewi. Get lucky. Pay a fortune.
Go to Vegas. Get lucky. Win a fortune.
Repeat for the rest of my life.
Getting lucky with Tewi every day is a true dream.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589158

Yukari is Yukari. There is not anyone else in the world like her, nor will there ever be. What a silly question, Anonymous!

Hmm...what else to do with Kaguya aside from walking around next to her with my trollface on...simpler things like bookshops or internet cafes might be amusing. We could also go shopping. Pick out some lacy, sheer little number for her to wear when we got back to my place.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589172
You'd use Tewi's luck for monetary gain?

Pathetic.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2589140

Boar ribs and mead, under an old oak on the Gotland shore at sundown in August.
And always convenient having an ale-powered siege engine around if you feel like marching on Wisby.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589193
Monetary gain and additional Tewi.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589172
You'd use Tewi's luck for monetary gain?

Genius.

[Harblong Cassidy !KzfKdB2Xmc No.]

Dammit, fellas.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589215
That legs!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589219

Eyebrows...

[Anonymous No.]

An aversion to experienced women is a sign of male sexual insecurity.

You think it's "gross" if a girl has had sex with a dozen different guys, but subconsciously, you're really just afraid that the more guys a girl's had sex with, the harder she'll be to impress.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

OP is a horrible person for even introducing this idea.

There's just so many Touhous out there, I'd break the bank trying to get with all of them.

Definitely would go for Kaguya first, though. If it were at all possible.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589172
kill some terrorists instead

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

Kaguya may be one of the safer Touhous to be with, since there's little chance of her deciding to snack on your spleen mid-ways through the date.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589138
Of course, she could also be having sex with anyone else without YOU knowing, so it's a double-edged sword.

If Yukari was your wife, she could cheat on you any time, any place, even if you're sitting right in front of her.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589253

My Gods, that is erotic.

Yukari is the ultimate cuckoldress/hotwife.

[Harblong Cassidy !KzfKdB2Xmc No.]

>>2589252

What happen to vagina !

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589215
I am no master of anatomy, but is there something wrong with her abdomen? I think there is something wrong.

[Anonymous No.]

She'd be my daughter for the day.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589246
No. Even if vagina has its own "self clean mode", the idea that hundred penises have been there before mine just happens to be gross.

[Anonymous No.]

If I ever get my hands on a lot of money, I'd hire call girls to play board games with me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589246 You think it's "gross" if a girl has had sex with a dozen different guys, but..
>>2589265 the idea that hundred penises have been there before mine just happens to be gross
lol, I totally called it

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589278
>lol
Get out of /jp/, and go enjoy your STD-ridden sluts.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589246
>>2589265
>>2589278

I suppose now might be a bad time to mention that I would aid and abet Yukari's quest for cocks. Not only would I help pick out only the sluttiest and most revealing outfits for her to entice virile, well-hung young men with, but I'd bathe her, wash her hair, and help groom her and apply makeup before she received her many lovers. Then I'd sit and watch in perfect contentment as Yukari indulges herself with all the studly man-flesh.

I basically just described Ran's day job, but whatever. Back to salivating over Kaguya's smooth, creamy pale thighs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589246
An aversion to incest is a sign of male sexual insecurity.

You think it's "gross" to have a sexual relationship with your mother, but subconsciously, you're really just afraid that you won't be able to surpass your father in terms of sexual prowess.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589290

Ah, Sigmund, you and your theories never fail to amuse.

[Anonymous No.]

$1 million a night: all the bosses
$2 million a night: ex-boss

delicious mokou

[Anonymous No.]

An aversion to bestiality is a sign of male sexual insecurity.

You think it's "gross" to have a sexual relationship with your dog, but subconsciously, you're really just afraid that you won't be able to surpass even a goddamn animal with a tiny dick in terms of sexual prowess.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589286
Yukari's been around for so long she's probably don't give a damn about petty men and their sexual needs, and she can steal whatever she like using those gaps so no real need for money either.

Kaguya will just sell Reisen out if she needed money, princesses are bitchy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589159
do you work in advertising or something..

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589315

I'm afraid I don't follow.

>>2589306

While we're applying logic to imaginary situations, let me also remind you that Touhous don't exist.

[Anonymous No.]

An aversion to nechrophilia is a sign of male sexual insecurity.

You think it's "gross" to have a sexual relationship with a rottening corpse, but subconsciously, you're really just afraid that you won't stay hard inside anything that is not your own hand.

[Anonymous No.]

I'd bring Remi with me the next time I went out with friends and knew my ex girlfriend would be there.

Look who I'm with now, bitch! Fuck your boyfriend ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

Christ, /jp/

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589345
A nine year old girl.
I bet she'll be real impressed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589624

I know I would be.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589646
Me too but you and me, anonymous, are not "normal people".

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589668

Either way, he'll definitely get a reaction from her.

He may not necessarily like it, but he'll get it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589246

More guys she's had sex with, the looser she is.

Seriously, it was like a hotdog in a...town.

[Anonymous No.]

Excellent work /jp/ you've made us all both weep tears of joy and sorrow at this thread.

[Arcueid Brunestud !ARCIkc4cG6 No.]

>>2589920

Or you might be too small. Think about it.

[Anonymous No.]

An aversion to chubby-chasing is a sign of male sexual insecurity.

You think it's "gross" to have a sexual relationship with a obese woman, but subconsciously, you're really just afraid that you won't get hard for anything that doesn't look like a 12 year old chinese boy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589957
Nothing subconscious about that bro.

[Anonymous No.]

An aversion to gay sex is a sign of male sexual insecurity.

You think it's "gross" to have a sexual relationship with another male, but subconsciously, you're really just afraid that you'll be a target for discrimination.

[io.sys !LfPPE1OhI. No.]

>>2589324
>Touhous don't exist.
0/10
This trolling needs work

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589955

I personally wouldn't mind, in fact, I would actually prefer it if my waifu had multiple sexual partners before me. There is, however, a limit to that kind of shit.

If my Touhou waifu had maybe like 5 partners before me, that would be ideal since she'd have sexual experience and she'd know what she wants in bed. Contrast this with someone who's had 30+ partners and you start to cross over into the 'yuck' territory.

This applies to both girls and guys. I don't know, I personally just don't find promiscuous people to be attractive/likable. I'm sure there are others who would agree with me-- promiscuous people are, evolutionarily, bad pair bonding partners. They're good at spreading genes but bad at raising a family. It's two different evolutionary strategies for the dissemination of one's genes and, call this personal bias, but I've always preferred the ones who'd want to settle down and have a family over the one's who enjoy partying and sleeping around.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589979
Butthurt faggot.

[None !COCKg./apo No.]

>>2590694
It doesn't hurt, newfag.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589957
the only way to be sexually secure is by having sex with men

because heterosexuals are wrong

[Anonymous No.]

It's mostly women who prefer men with sexual experience with a lot of different guys because it shows they are (usually) good in bed. Speaking from what a female friend told me here anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590720

Makes sense actually-- and says a lot about the existing cultural bias.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2587020
If a call girl is intelligent, in all likelihood it is because she is greedy. My brother fucks call girls and he told me a few of them had jobs as moral-less fucks in the city in finance and so on. They already sold their souls so fucking for money isn't much of a switch, in fact many women in finance fuck for money even before formalizing it with the title of 'call girl'. Suck their bosses dick etc.

This is an added perk for me for when I get into law. I'm pretty sure if I haven't had sex by then, if I complete my CPE and get a BVC place I can very easily fuck women looking for a man with a solvent financial future.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590020
He is not trolling.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589327
Don't you even know how to spell "rotting," Anonymous?!

[Anonymous No.]

2 for 1 special!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590775
No I don't, Mr. english teacher. Please teach me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590775
Sensei-kun! Sugoi sugoi!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589920 More guys she's had sex with, the looser she is
Don't be retarded. Common sense dictates that a girl should only be as wide as the biggest dick she's ever had. But aside from that, the "more sex = lol loose" thing is an ignorant myth that ignores basic biology, perpetuated by men who don't want to accept that they have small dicks.

Vaginas don't "get loose," because it's not just soft tissue. It's also muscle and stuff. It's just that some girls have naturally wide vaginas.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590812
rotting

[Anonymous No.]

>>2589327
>>2589290
>>2589957
Whatever man. Keep trying to rationalize why you can't get laid. Just keep waiting for your ideal chaste, pure, virgin princess who doesn't exist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590860
Actually the movement is something else to consider. It tends to lose elasticity the more sex you have. Doesn't matter about the number of dicks, it's the frequency.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590888 It tends to lose elasticity the more sex you have
[citation needed]

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>2590860
It's frequency, not girth, that destroys elasticity and tightness the most.

Sexually experienced women make up for losing "physical" tightness of the tissue by learning how to control their muscles to increase perceived tightness.

>>2590738
You know, I thought better of you than that, athens. You'd willingly become a soulless shill for corporate greed if only to get a little loose office pussy?

That's just sad, bro.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590738 If a woman makes more money than I do, she's a whore. >:(

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590802
Hina alone would be enough for me.

She'd make all the bad feelings go away.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2590902
Well no, I like the mechanics of the structures that humans create, Civil Governance for example. Law has always interested me, its about time I started thinking about my future, and I want to live comfortably. I go to a good university and can probably get good grades in a legal diploma at a good institution, so I don't see why I shouldn't go for it.

The benefits of office pussy are entirely an afterthought, ancilliary as it were.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590902 It's frequency, not girth, that destroys elasticity and tightness the most.
[citation needed]

Gee, it sure is "never took sex ed in middle school" around here!

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2590913
No, if she has sex for money she's a whore.

What, do you want me to use a politically correct term instead?

Are you happy that the only examples of 'strong' women feminist 'historians' can produce are little more than whores who slept with men for power?

“I would not choose to live with the female sex either in bad times nor during a welcome peace. The outside is a man’s concern – a woman should not consider it; she should stay inside and not cause damage. Have you heard me or not? Or am I talking to a deaf woman?”

Eteocles of Thebes.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2590920
>>2590913
>>2590893
>>2590886
Jesus christ you are butthurt to a degree I thought not possible.

[Anonymous No.]

I heard that if you eat large mouthfuls of food it makes your mouth bigger.
Or if you eat frequently it makes your mouth bigger.
Soft tissue can be impacted by wear and tear, but it needs to be practically traumatic. The real culprit is age. Women get loose and saggy everywhere as they get older.

[White Ren !YLuFFdRcFQ No.]

>>2590948
It either has to be traumatic or long-term exposure. People who lose lots of body fat after years of having it will find that their skin will sag where the fat was. This is because the skin was stretched over time by the pressure to a point where it lost its elasticity completely.

Conversely, if you keep getting plowed in by cock numerous times a day for a long time, you're going to get looser. And sex isn't just straight in, straight out. You're putting pressure on the walls as you move against them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590913

Take your emoticons and fuck off slut

[Anonymous No.]

>>2590931
Kings aren't typically known for being educated and well-mannered, brah.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2590931

Not to break the fragile peace here, but have you considered it's pretty pathetic for a grown up man to be scared of cooties?

[Anonymous No.]

Two words:

Optical Camouflage.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591032
I think you're missing the point of /jp/

[Kurai !MEIDOh12Vo No.]

>>2591032
I thought it was just being afraid of interaction and such.

[MANkoto !/uhtKOHuio No.]

>>2591032
So let me get this straight. You're saying that cooties are nothing to be afraid of?

[Anonymous No.]

What are cooties?

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591032
I'm just trying to grate on her nerves is all.
>>2591007
What is this roundabout logic I don't even...

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2591074

No, both sexes develop antibodies at age 9.

[MANkoto !/uhtKOHuio No.]

>>2591086
I don't think I can trust you, I'll take one for the team and do some research myself.

[Anonymous No.]

No because I respect women too much to objectify them by paying them for sex like some kind of a pleasure vending machine.

I would find them and rape them instead.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591109
Oh u anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591084
It's not "roundabout logic" at all, you're just retarded.

Calling a 2000+ king to vouch for you is an appeal to false authority. Just because he has a name people recognize doesn't mean he's automatically right.

[None !.05BETSUNI No.]

GHOST BLOWJOB YEAH

>>2591104
hahahahhahaha

[Anonymous No.]

If all Touhous grew dicks, which one would you suck?

If all Touhous were babies, whose diaper would you change?

If all Touhou threads were shit, which ones would you sage?
All of them.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2591084

Though - and I never thought I'd say this to you - you're actually making an awfully good point there. Feminist historians aren't helping their own cause at all.
It's all just Cleopatra (number optional), Nefertiti, and some-random-Roman-consort, time and again. Too busy trying to rewrite history for the "high" cultures to see the whole picture.

For example, there's almost nothing written about the golden eyed seer, or about the Scythian princess they unearthed a few decades back. Lady Murasaki is rarely mentioned as a prominent female writer, even though she essentially invented the novel. The Ice Princess or lady Xin Zhui don't get nearly the attention they deserve, not to mention the whole bunch of sovereign celtic queens who still have their cairns in plain sight and unexplored.

But no, it's always Cleopatra. Big names sell, I guess.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591118
And you think >>2590913 isn't a non-sequitur?

Expect people to respond in kind.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591157
Big whores sell their bodies.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591157
Exactly. Plancia Magna too, for a less 'Imperial' alternative.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591176
I like you athens. I hate so many of your opinions, but I remember fondly our kyonko-posting contest back in /a/ last year.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2587144
>>Although might go for it just for the satisfaction at the end when she drinks your blood and watches your face as you realize your horrible mistake.

she'd be satisified seeing a face in pure bliss and extasy? awesome.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2591176

Sounds like a good gal.
She likely won't appear in any eponymous multimillion movie anytime soon.

Used to read a lot of this stuff, but gave up after realising feminist revisionist history is stuck 100 years in the past. Where mediterranean cultures are automatically civilized, and the rest of the world consists of orcs - whacking girls over the head with thighbones and dragging them to the cave by the hair.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591148
those are shitty examples dude

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591193
Hmm, I vaguely remember that.

>>2591233
I just dislike the temptress archetype in general, its always played up to but so many of these temptresses were just awful leaders. Empress Irene is perhaps the best example.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591266
Yea you made a Kyonko thread, and I saged it but with my own kyonko image. You took an unnecessarily adversarial position and vowed to bump with kyonko every time I saged with kyonko. So I emptied my folder and you kept going...

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591233

I think it's amusing seeing any kind of historian impose their own sense of morality on history. I imagine the temptation to do so is strong, especially if you're a notable figure in your field. As for Cleopatra, it seems as though she's some kind of patron saint for historical revisionists, as she's often referred to in black history classes as the first "powerful black woman." That's like double points in the game of political correctness.

That being said, this is a consummate troll thread OP. You got the /jp/ community to admit their sexual insecurities (and exposed their ignorance about sexual knowledge), subverted Touhou culture, and turned the discussion into a feminist bashing thread. Well done.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591260
>those are shitty examples dude

>If Touhous became call girls would you hire one?
>And who would you request?

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2591332

>As for Cleopatra, it seems as though she's some kind of patron saint for historical revisionists, as she's often referred to in black history classes as the first "powerful black woman."
>Cleopatra
>black

... are you serious? Is that what they're saying?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591363

Yep, at least that's what I was taught in my last two African-American studies classes. It's obvious revisionism but it's not a point I'd want to openly challenge since a minor thing like that isn't worth sacrificing your GPA.

While we're on that topic, I find it highly ironic that academia constantly berates x political figure for censoring free speech when in a classroom setting, all they do is prevent people with dissenting opinions from voicing them in class.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591321
God I still have those images somewhere. Deep within the bowels of my 4chan folder.

>>2591332
Cleo VII was a pretty shitty leader given that her Kingdom became provincialized under her reign.

All of the late Ptolemies were pretty shitty though, the earlier ones were pretty decent (Zeus and Hera justified incest aside), read Athenaeus' description of the Ptolemeia, I think its online - In his Deipnosophistae. A ridiculously large and opulent procession through the streets of Alexandria, which, incidentally can actually be pieced back together archaeologically to quite a great degree now and it is _huge_

>black

I think Martin Bernal (the author of 'Black Athena') came to our university a while back. Why a reputable institution like ours gave that hack a platform is anyone's guess.

[Anonymous No.]

Reported for going off-topic.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591401
I've always been able to argue, discuss, and stipulate my opinion and debate shit. Even with the lecturers and such. Dunno, go to a better school

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591401
>that's what I was taught in my last two African-American studies classes.

Are you kidding? Fucking hell. They actually have license to peddle this shit now.

[Anonymous No.]

Another thread derailed, way to go athens!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591427
You would rather have Yet Another Touhou Thread? Really?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591440
No, but would I rather have pseudo wiki intellect discussions allowed in /jp/ instead? No.

[None !.05BETSUNI No.]

>>2591332
I wasn't trying to troll though ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591413

It depends on the class. I attend a pretty reputable university (UCSD) but their program for my major (English Literature) isn't exactly world renown. I've taken a few classes where the professors have obvious political leanings and if you come off as too contrarian, it ultimately affects that professor's opinion of you and thus their holistic grading system.

Yes, you can openly debate points but:
a) It makes you look like an asshole in class and
b) It makes your chances of getting an A in the class drop significantly.
I have a couple friends who are clearly conservative and, for the life of them, they cannot get an A in some of the literature/poli sci classes at UCSD even though their writing ability is top notch. By contrast, random bitch that sucks the professor's cock always gets an A in the class even though her ideas are derivative and her analyses complete shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591332
I wasn't trying to troll though ;_;

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591444
So it's not that the thread was derailed, it's that it was derailed into an Athens thread. Got it.

[HelenXonpool !a0yHhBwvus No.]

>>2591401

3000 years of history erased due to bonus political correctness...
I don't feel so good...

Hiring Yuugi from early June to mid-August. Paying 4,35 million USD I don't have. Need muscle and an incurable alehound for backup at ren fair.

[athens !SysNpnp3nU No.]

>>2591454
>make you look like an asshole

This.

Except I do it anyway. And my lecturers are fucking awesome for the most part, debating stuff with them is always enjoyable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591444

> No, but would I rather have pseudo wiki intellect discussions allowed in /jp/ instead? No.

> pseudo wiki intellect discussions

Think before you type next time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591478
Great reply. How long did you think about this for? I wish I could understand the powerful mind that came to the conclusion that this was a good post after spending time thinking about it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591332
>
That being said, this is a consummate troll thread OP. You got the /jp/ community to admit their sexual insecurities (and exposed their ignorance about sexual knowledge), subverted Touhou culture, and turned the discussion into a feminist bashing thread. Well done.
When you put it that way I want to archive the thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>That being said, this is a consummate troll thread OP. You got the /jp/ community to admit their sexual insecurities (and exposed their ignorance about sexual knowledge), subverted Touhou culture, and turned the discussion into a feminist bashing thread. Well done.
When you put it that way I want the thread to be archived.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591507

Explain what a "pseudo wiki intellect discussion" is to me. Is that a discussion concerning a false wiki dedicated to "intellect"?

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591469
http://archive.easymodo.net/cgi-board.pl/jp/thread/2586773#p2591450

By the by, this tripfag is OP.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591531
Trolling is the Jazz of the Information Age.
It is meant to be experienced as it unfolds, not cheapened by recordings.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591557
But surely GREAT jazz deserves to be replayed, albeit at a lower quality of experience.

[Anonymous No.]

>If Touhous became call girls would you hire one?

No, I would hire many. OBVIOUSLY.

As for choices, the luck abuse with Tewi is a loophole too good to pass up, and similar abuse can be done with a whole bunch of the ladies' powers, including Keine, Remilia, Yukari and probably others.

If we assume that we can't hire them for their powers but only for companionship... Well it's pretty easy to pick Reisen. She's my favorite touho to begin with, a rabbit which theoretically means promiscuity, and she'd probably be happy to just get the hell away from her taskmasters.

I would avoid all the ones that eat humans for security reasons (I'm juicy and delicious).

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591564
This isn't a great thread. It's a shitty thread which athens managed to make worse. Big surprise.

"I'm going to stop posting with my trip," lol. He missed the attention.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591538
Yeah, I fucked up there, only noticed the name field after hitting submit.

not that it matters lolol what are you implying

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591571
but Tewi's luck and Keine protecting humans are more like intrinsic effects, whereas you'd have to ask someone like Yukari or Remilia for their help

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591573
He's still the best tripfag here. You know why? He doesn't take things seriously. That's all there is to it. I don't like what he says most of the time but I like his indifference to high strung drama people like you go in for.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm surprised that after all this time there isn't a single doujin that depicted the touhoes as hookers.

I mean, there are a bunch of comics that depict one or two of them as basically fucking people for money (Reimu and Sanae mainly, because of their pleas for "donations"), but in the context of the comic it's always been an exception and even then they weren't handled as actual prostitutes, just people who had sex for money.

Statistically there should be at least one doujin among the 10,000 that depicts every touhoe as a lady of the night.

[Anonymous No.]

>they weren't handled as actual prostitutes, just people who had sex for money

And that's an important distinction!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591672
Touhou enjo kosai doujin now!

[Anonymous No.]

>>2586854 I'd probably blow an ungodly amount of
Spoken like a true Aya fan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2591672
I always imagined Reimu would employ temple prostitutes, but not actually be one herself.

[Anonymous of Croatia !na1byG1GU. No.]

http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/8142/4285652.jpg

I like this image it's HNGGGGGGGGGGGH but i find Ran a bit too slutty in it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>2592859,1
saved