Haiku Thread

[quill !!Tc4GYoCskfX No.]

I've been getting quite into haiku of late and wanted to share a few of my recent compositions. If you're at all knowledgeable about haiku or Japanese in general, I'd appreciate any comment or criticism. Also, if there's a better board for this kind of thing, let me know. Seemed that this board was a better fit than /lit/ anyway.

[quill !!Tc4GYoCskfX No.]

>>25365119
The first haiku:

行く雨や
道の凹みに
水鏡

Departing rain-
In the dents in the road
Water mirrors

[quill !!Tc4GYoCskfX No.]

>>25365154
夏風や
松陰に寝る
働者哉

Summer breeze
Sleeping in pine shade
Construction workers

[quill !!Tc4GYoCskfX No.]

>>25365639
冷雨にも
暖かさ有り
君の肩

In cold rain, too
There is warmth-
Your shoulder

[Anonymous No.]

>>25365119
I don’t think that I
can read japanese so well
it’s my cross to bear

[Anonymous No.]

I can't write for shit
Why post this thread on jp
Writers don't come here

[Anonymous No.]

Kitsune is cute
I would offer him tofu
To be a fox too

[Anonymous No.]

Home is where I am
It is dark when I shower
I lack internet

[Anonymous No.]

it’s been one whole day
since this thread was first started
now it’s time to bump

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

good thread

[Anonymous No.]

neither good nor bad thread

[Anonymous No.]

>>25365954
I can’t read the Japanese well enough to comment, but I like the way you use juxtaposition and kireji in English. They make your observations jump out vividly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>25419980
neither good nor bad
a thread of perfect balance
yet of no real worth

[Anonymous No.]

Wrote this on a Shogun 2 video of someone taking Kyoto on the first turn.

The heaviest walls,
Weathering the Summer's storms,
Undone by Spring rain.

[Anonymous No.]

Newfag OP
Didn't get the memo
Not Japanese Culture

[Anonymous No.]

>>25365119
Wrote this for a class haiku contest a while ago.
粉雪が
夜空から降る
白い星

[Anonymous No.]

>>25436970
Screeching at daybreak
Seeing puddles as a pond
The loud frog is blind

[Anonymous No.]

>>25365119
Got anymore