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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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22416497 No.22416497 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

Sally the Queen

>> No.22416505

That is no queen and you are a whore.

>> No.22416526


>> No.22416582

<span class="sjis">
Sit down and please listen to me. I have a good ass story that's really related to this thread. It's really fucking amazing dude. I went to one of /jp/'s greatest attractions; you know, Gensokyo? Well anyways there was an insane number of fairies there, and I couldn't get in. Never in my life have I seen creatures with less fear of death then they. The fairies do some of the stupidest shit possible, stuff that if you saw, you would turn the fuck around and high-tail it to the Hakurei Shrine screaming some heretical crossie tier shit. AKA, shitting on the fairies as a hagfag. Anyway, one of the fairies did something, I don't know what but I ended up on my back and all I could see was the ceiling. Of course there was at least one fairy that was concerned - she looked like that fairy Daiyousei. You know, that one fairy that hangs around with Cirno? The ice fairy? -So I sat up and took a closer look at the banner hanging up there, and it had "cocktails are free in big bold text, but there was something beneath it. It took a while to read it but all it said was "Kill yourself out of gensokyou ya Drunken fuck." but also had something written in some inane wannabe copy of LunaScript. I know what it looks like because I've been to the moon with Armstrong. You know, Neil "Moonbuster" Armstrong? Yeah well, I know the guy and lets just say we're good friends. Faggots need not apply. Back to the word at hand, this fucking banner told me to kill myself out of gensokyou.
That motherfucker. First off, You capitalize the "G" in "Gensokyou."
Second, I don't fucking drink. There was a toast with ZUN but that's just about it.
Third, you don't come to /jp/ just to kill yourself out of Gensokyo, fool. It's the touhou girls, T-O-U-H-O-U G-I-R-L-S for crying out loud. There are no boys in Gensokyo! Heh, "kill yourself out of gensokyou." How fucking nice.
I don't remember the last time I saw so many fairies in one place. It's like a /jp/ meetup without the /jp/. One group of 38 I remember, all came out for some RAD™ /jp/ history lessons from Keine and they all seemed like nice folks, but I'll be damned if I didn't tell you this. On the other side of the street, there was more than just a few faggots arguing. It was some of the most disgusting shit I've ever seen and had the misfortune to hear. "BASED." God I can't bear to watch. You people shouldn't be here, get out of /jp/. Long story short, shit got real and it turned into a full on battle. The motherfucker derailed the 19999999 train and it became a smoldering hot wreck. Before long, everyone was punching, kicking, screaming, and all was hell until the maid, known as meido or "NSJ", came to kill the whole damn thing. The fairies weren't any better and Cirno was nowhere to be seen. But the thing that surprised me the most was the arrival of the Mooncunts. "It's your fault that you sold too much sake to a God! YOU DON'T SELL TOO MUCH SAKE TO A GOD! WE'RE GODS, YOU UNDERSTAND WE RULE GENSOKYO?! WE'LL HAVE YOU EXTERMINATED! WE'LL HAVE YOU EXTERMINATED AND WE'LL LAUGH ABOUT IT!". Trust me, those two were wasted. No way are they going to overtake the rule of Gensokyo and execute an ant with their kind of track record. Just ask Armstrong. He'll tell you the story of the Lunar War (1969). There was a time, I believe was back in 2011 when some /b/astard fucked with the wrong set of dudes and got fucked sideways. It was so bad that everyone heard the shots being fired. Whether it be the depths of Hecatia's hell, or the very Heaven Hinanawi "Masochist" Tenshi, AKA, TenKO was kicked out of. (How the fuck do you get kicked out of heaven?) That was all that was written in the Book /jp/'s Chapter 11 - GigaP(UDDI). There was even a time in Chapter 10 when there was a huge fucking war between the people and the authorities. This war ended with a major shift in power and a down period that would last years and the death of the Meido that so many had loved (it's a joke you fucking lunatic). By the end of it all, the !bar tender only said "SUCK MY COCK DUDE", shot himself and that was the end of it. Oh for Christmas' sake. There're even entire families here. All from the Human Village. I'll give you 1 yen if you take your soul, put it back in that corpse and clean yourself the fuck up. We already lost a kingpiece in Chapter 18, so this motherfucker has no reason to take a vacation to the otherworld.[/spoiler]

>> No.22416596

>Just ask Armstrong. He'll tell you the story of the Lunar War (1969).

Hold on a minute. I gotta tell you about the fucking craters on the moon. Those damn Moonie crater mortar murder holes. 14 Billion year-old space debris my ass. Those were Moon Mortars.
The Lunarian Capital is known far and wide for being superior to Earth in almost every way, though being a few hundred thousand miles/kilometers away and led by two forsaken retards.
Despite the ancient age of the Earth and Moon, surely one would think they would be untouched in an almost orderly Solar System, but no. Not only has the Moon been defiled, but it has been a grave yard for nearly the entire Lunarian Army.
At this point, people will ask "how?" or "why?" and expect to get a full run down of the thing from the natives themselves, but no. They won't. Not only are the common "Cute Little Lunarian Bunny" citizens so uninformed to the point of retardation, but they are also lazy despite their constant slave-working by the Watatsuki sisters.
The only one who could have told the story is currently in Gensokyo and goes by the name "Reisen Udongein Inaba".
There is no way you'll ever get an answer from her, let alone find and acquire her assistance since leaving her allies to die when she escaped in the middle of the massacre. To this day, she still suffers from PTSD.
After seeing something like that, surely the head Lunarians would think twice before attacking a possibly more advanced and possibly unknown species, but no. They went on and attacked like a bunch of fucking retards. And with that, is how it all began.
We know not what the "invasion" was like, but the Royal Cocksucking Sisters call it "The War", leading us to our topic, the first "Lunarian War"- in which they lost horrobly. Spoiler Alert.
The losses were grim.
For them of course.
The Lunarians lost such a large chunk of their army that "...there aren't many left..." -Yorihime Watatsuki. And that isn't the half of it. The two /humans/ who invaded left with nothing but small blemishes that'll go away in a week or two, as the Lunar Army lost <Thousands> of their soldiers. Yes you heard me right, <THOUSANDS>. The ENTIRE LUNARIAN ARMY against two friendly humans. TWO humans and they LOST! You're telling me that an entire force of the moon, over six arrivals by the same two humans in four (4) years and multiple flags, resulted the DEATHS of the MAJORITY of the LUNARIAN ARMY, much so to a point where their forces are cripped to a point to where they can take on Gensokyo, just barely, when four Gensokian denizens put a stop to a GODDESS OF HELL, a PURE incarnation of HATRED and a HELL FAIRY who managed to fucking terrorize them to a point of having to INVADE GENSOKYO, as well as TOTAL EVACUATION of the Moon, into ANOTHER realm which they didn't even know they had entered on their own will as a trap- and they couldn't even manage to so much as give two friendly, non hostile HUMANS a hard fight? Not to mention it took them fucking decades- DECADES to get rid of an UNGUARDED flag? WHAT! You afraid the Youkai in the shadows are gonna snatch your ankles if you get within 50 feet of the flag? You scared you'll turn to dust if you touch it? Go blind if you so much as glance at it? Grow the FUCK up.

>> No.22416632
File: 917 KB, 1097x1200, yuugi.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>they can take on Gensokyo, just barely,
Alright, intermission fags.
/jp/ - Gensokyo is a bloody place. That tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the U-shaped table can start a fight at any time, the stab-or-be-stabbed mentality, that's what's great about this place. Women and children should screw off and stay home. Not that the NEETs would ever interact with impure humans to begin with. /jp/ is a bloody place, that's what's great about it. It's that tense atmosphere, where two guys on opposite sides of the board can start a fight at any time and cause a scene and apologize for bullying each other, although I gotta say this. Anyone who buckles or talks shit about Touhou is a weakling and should say that shit directly to the Youkai's face, not online motherfucker. I guarantee you they'll choke. They won't say a damn thing if they saw the huge bulging muscles of the Average /jp/sie standing at 10 feet. They'll try to play it off as a joke as if they never meant a single word of the utter bullshit they've been saying for years on end. Let's see how they take you wanting to matingpress them, hell, even trying to beat Yuugi in an arm wrestling tournament. She won't beat you, she'll fucking BREAK you. The bitch is like 89 feet tall. Look at this shit. That's a funeral sentence.

>> No.22416669

>people like you are the reason this board has a bad rep amongst other boards
Really? I'd have thought it was because of the cuteposting, the elitism, the idol generals, or how almost every post is fueled by passive aggression or anger.

>> No.22416685

There was this one dude. Alright so listen closely. I was walking by one night before I met him at one of the stands. One thing led to another and all of a sudden we were talking about Miko. He said he would visit the Hakurei shrine if there weren’t Youkai around. Understandable considering he doesn’t even set foot near Byakuren’s Youkai Temple- I mean Temple of Buddhist Worship.
I don’t know how he knew the stuff he did but I must say he was an entertaining guy. Though on the topic of Shrine Maidens, we debated who would make the best wife, I said Reimu only if she weren’t so scary at times, but he was different. This shit was suspicious. The guy said Sanae, because she was a whore.
I mean, what? What the fuck is this man thinking?
I was completely caught off guard by his statement and I swear the lady who was cooking immediately stopped humming and just stared at us. I didn’t even know she was humming. I swear it took me a full minute before I responded. So he sat eating his food and he broke the silence in between bites and said “problem?” with food flying everywhere and that pissed me off. So I went and said, “Alright, first off, have some fucking manners and don’t speak with your mouth full of food you uncultured piece of trash. Secondly, how in the 4 devas can Sanae of all people be a fucking cheap whore? I knew from the momemt thay once you said “because she’s a whore” that you had fucking bottom of the barrel standards but holy fucking shit you’re dumber than a fairy if you actually have to pay to fuck Sanae. How unlucky must you be to not know that she does it for free! Who the fuck are you getting scammed by?“
Again I heard the humming. It was almost like the girl was trying to ignore us. I don’t blame her. It only took me a couple days of convincing her that I wasn’t one of the many useless men wasting semen on that cum dumpster. Before I knew it, I was back to sitting alone at the stand once more before and one day the lady stopped humming, or at least I think she stopped humming, and she told me that the guy I was talking to a couple weeks prior had died. I thought it was a Youkai that finally got him but no. He was another in the line of many dead from a mysterious disease. She handed me a newspaper, still tied, and I read the contents. Apparently he died of some sort of disease that links back to that Green Haired girl’s shrine. She denies an interview and refuses to speak, but more are seen going into the shrine than coming out says that Tengu lady in the article.
So I ended my day early and went home. Fuck that shit. I’m sticking to Fairies.

>> No.22416692

There are no busses or trains in Gensokyo but I guarantee you that if you set foot there, you will be turned into roadkill.

>> No.22416722

Sage was used for fun in the old days!
Man shut the fuck up about the old days.

SJIS in this thread is like posting gold bricks in a sea of feces.
Man what the fuck is this shit. I walked around the same tree 14 times now. One for each of the lolis I cut in half.
They don't even give 0.002% XP. What fucking sorcery is this.

>> No.22416742

I'm out on the fortune 500. Even though I busted all four of my fucking tires man. I can't even think of a reason why I'm standing on this field. I weigh 550 lbs. I don't know why I'm standing. This is the kind of shit you don't see else where.
The man can hit me at 240 imperials and I'd still live.
Vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - WHAM
Oh shit I think I lost half my body weight in the span of 15 seconds.
What? Why are you arresting me for? What do you mean he's dead? I'm a fucking torso!

>> No.22416752

Oh man what the fuck is this thread.
I walked in expecting a warzone, not a fucking theme park. There's like 200 threads by the same guy
What the fuck is this Anonymous guy doing?

>> No.22416759


>> No.22416765


>> No.22416772

oh man I have seen some obscene shit
Have you ever seen an anon get shot so many times that his blood bleeds? That's some BLEACH shit right there.

Imagine this
Be an anon on /jp/
Get stabbed on London Avenue
Bleed an ocean out of your pancreas
You don't need a Yandere or that insane bitch from the news to do that now do you.
Oh shit. NHK

>> No.22416779

Did someone say NHK?
*bang bang*
"I know you has the machine"

>> No.22416783

Sunday with Kasen
Funeral on Sunday
Seven Days.
Oh my word. Why did I agree to this. That lady- that hermit will kill me.

>> No.22416796

Ahhh. Fairies.
Too bad language barriers exist and that r turns into a hard L.
Fairies are fucking Failures.

>> No.22416807

Man. What if I just walk up the fucking wall.
Like, What if I just randomly walk up the fucking wall. I mean, I will just walk up the fucking wall like holy shit I am standing on a fucking wall. Stop sniffing crack anon. That's impossible. You are insane to suggest that I can walk up a wall.

>> No.22416815

What a fucking idiot.

>> No.22416824

The wind blows but I see no clouds.
Where the fuck are the clouds.
I will find Suika and I will launch her into the sun with the force of a billion dirt molecules. She will shit herself in fear and spit out her Sake, creating clouds and getting everyone in Gensokyo drunk.

>> No.22416835

insanity? autism? what. you want a fucking doctor or something? want me to prescribe your sleeping pills you fucking autist? matter of fact. take 50 of the damn things. get out of here. i'm tired of this silver moon hag.

>> No.22416841

oh my god where is meido.
we gave you so much attention and you leave this thread up.
this man is a schitzo. please get rid of his thread. how does this get 22 posts and 23 on 4chanx? What retard keeps replying to his fucking thread? stop!

>> No.22416856

imagine arguing with a retard.. holy shit you might be the retard.
what. you want me to namedrop Cirno now?

>> No.22416865


>> No.22416889
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I doth declare you, KusoThread Reward

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