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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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1599725 No.1599725 [Reply] [Original]

ITT Useless Pieces of Shit

>> No.1599734
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1599734

>> No.1599741

>>1599725
Stop this. It wasn't funny the first time you made this thread, nor all the subsequent times.

>> No.1599756

>>1599741

Im going to post this, until you like it.

>> No.1599757

>>1599725
Useless he may be, yet I wonder why you chose a picture of him in one of his most handsome shots...

You like him, don't you?

>> No.1599751

LANCER IS IRISH LOL!!!

>> No.1599761

>>1599751 LANCER IS IRISH
Luck: E

I don't believe it.

>> No.1599776

>>1599757

Of course. He makes me laugh everytime he dies.

>> No.1599778
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1599778

>> No.1599783

>>1599761
Blame Kotomine

>> No.1599785

>>1599783
I think Kotomine is actually luckier than Bazette.

>> No.1599795
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1599795

>> No.1599796

>>1599785
That's not saying much.

>> No.1599803
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1599803

>> No.1599809

>>1599796
Well, Bazette is Irish too.

>> No.1599815
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1599815

>>1599803

>> No.1599816

>>1599809
Considering she was found, and revived by Avenger, I think that suggests a pretty huge amount of luck.

Lancer's just got bad luck overall. If you read up on his legend, you'll see he got a ton of bad breaks towards the end.

>> No.1599833

>>1599725
0/10

Also, I hate the fact that he didn't receive a good master...

>> No.1599845

>>1599815
Seems like you are happy!

>> No.1599850

Cú Chulainn is love. He even has a song dedicated to him,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hClyvvZh3w

>> No.1599878

He would have killed Lancer in the beginning, if it weren't for that fucking command spell.

>> No.1599883

>>1599878
>Lancer

Silly me, I obviously meant Saber.

>> No.1599895

>>1599761
That only fits.

It explains their obsession with luck granting items. Since their normal luck makes their lives miserable and that's one of the national feelings of Ireland, misery. That's why they drink so much, too.

>> No.1599903

>>1599878
Instead he kills Lancer at the end of UBW because of the command seal.

>> No.1599916

>>1599850
Suits him. When taking his story into context, you can almost feel a touch of 'tragic epic' in the song.

>> No.1599928

Cu Chulainn's tale is fucking epic. No death in virtually any story, mythological or otherwise has been more manly.

This man fought a batallion by himself. The men that conspired to kill him, armed with 3 magically imbued lances, only manage to wound him. To stay standing, he ties himself to a rock and continues to fight off his enemies. He dies still standing, and only when a raven lands on his shoulder do they realize he's died. Out of spite, one of the conspirators cuts off Cu Chulainn's head. As he does so, Gae Bolg fell from his lifeless grip and sliced the man's hand off.

FUCK YEAR

>> No.1599940

>ITT the definition of GAR
fix'd

>> No.1599981

>No death in virtually any story, mythological or otherwise has been more manly

Benkei's death was better.

>> No.1599980

>Cu Chulainn's tale is fucking retarded.
fixed. It's all fine and good having a geis, but when you have about half a dozen of them without thinking that some of them might conflict with each other, then you're asking to have your ass kicked.

Example:
He can't turn down a meal offered by a woman.
He can't eat dog.

Now, can you think of a situation where these would both go against each other? His enemies sure did.

>> No.1600097

>>1599980
>He can't turn down a meal offered by a woman.

Actually, that one went for everyone in Ireland. And it's not offered by a woman, it was offered by an OLD woman. Respecting ones elders was considered a courtesy and a matter of honor, not a Geis, but it was a courtesy that would have shamed him far more than breaking a Geis. The meal they offered him was that of dog meat. The entire point was to force him to break his Geis by appealing to his honor, and his clan's honor.

It was the same way that they managed to get his three spears away from him. His three magical spears had the power to kill a king, and they sent druids - who were also considered extremely important people - to demand he give them a spear, otherwise they would discredit him, his clan, and so forth. He obliged them and agreed to hand over his spears each time he was asked; by hurling them at the druids and killing them.

Those spears were then used to kill his two horses (who were considered 'kings' amongst horses.. one was king of dragging chariots, and the other of horses overall) and the third spear was used to fatally wound Cu Chulainn himself.

>> No.1600266

>>1599928
Holy fucking fuck.
I am fucking finding that legend.

>> No.1600410
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1600410

>Manly

But... but... he said he didn't want to go out with me? Is there something bad about me?!

>> No.1600463

>>1600410
He'll fuck you. He had a wife, but that didn't stop him from doing Scathach or Aife.

>> No.1600473

>>1600463
Only reason he refused to was probably because his gut instinct told him not to.

Smart move. Foolish, but smart.

>> No.1600544
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1600544

>>1600473
Because he would have been screwed even further if he did?

But wasn't Morrigan also his arch-nemesis for a long time until he beated her and then just let her go?

>> No.1600609

>>1600544
Well, it was more that she kept going after him and trying to kill him, taking various forms and guises, such as a wolf and the likes. End he'd essentially cripple her ass each time, with her narrowly escaping.

>> No.1600852

>>1599928
He tied himself to the rock with his own intestines. FFFFFFFFF

>> No.1601014

>>1599928
>>1600097
>>1600852
How bad of a fucking master do you have to be to lose with this guy on your side?

>> No.1601033

>>1601014
Bazett was up against Kotomine.

She never stood a chance.

>> No.1601044

>>1601014
"Fight everyone, but do not win."
Force a tie.

>> No.1601085
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1601085

>> No.1601182

This isn't even including his ríastrad, his 'battlerage'. Lancer himself even says that he could've been summoned as a Berserker because of it.

"The first warp-spasm seized Cúchulainn, and made him into a monstrous thing, hideous and shapeless, unheard of. His shanks and his joints, every knuckle and angle and organ from head to foot, shook like a tree in the flood or a reed in the stream. His body made a furious twist inside his skin, so that his feet and shins switched to the rear and his heels and calves switched to the front... On his head the temple-sinews stretched to the nape of his neck, each mighty, immense, measureless knob as big as the head of a month-old child... he sucked one eye so deep into his head that a wild crane couldn't probe it onto his cheek out of the depths of his skull; the other eye fell out along his cheek. His mouth weirdly distorted: his cheek peeled back from his jaws until the gullet appeared, his lungs and his liver flapped in his mouth and throat, his lower jaw struck the upper a lion-killing blow, and fiery flakes large as a ram's fleece reached his mouth from his throat... The hair of his head twisted like the tange of a red thornbush stuck in a gap; if a royal apple tree with all its kingly fruit were shaken above him, scarce an apple would reach the ground but each would be spiked on a bristle of his hair as it stood up on his scalp with rage."

>> No.1601187

>>1601033
Not only that but Kotomine snuck up on her and attacked her from behind only moments after she finished summoning Lancer.

>> No.1601212

>>1601182
Ho.. ly.. shit...

>> No.1601215

>>1601033

The Nasuverse Hate Machines, Micunt Roa Valdamdong and Kotojackass, you know, the ones who spend every waking moment finding more creative ways to be douchebags, never go down until the very end, and even then, they never go down without sturring up a fuss.

>> No.1601224

>>1601215
Kotomine is so fucking awesome.

>> No.1601229
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1601229

>>1601224
He's a smug fucker at that.

>> No.1601250

>>1601182
The ríastrad is so fucking epic. Because he becomes so violent and attacks friend and foe alike when he's like that, they had to throw him into ice cold water to cool him off, and the stuff evaporated or something, or at least started to steam and boil.

>> No.1601251

>>1601229

Oh man, I spat out the bar of chocolate I was eating when I first saw that.

Fucking hell, Kotomine, incarnate of douchebaggery eating whatever the crap that was.

"....Do you want some?"

>> No.1601270

>>1601229
You know what pisses me off the most about him? He's fucking honest. Let's face it, if you ask him something straight out, he'll tell you it.

If you asked him something like 'Are you an evil bastard who is trying to kill me from behind the scenes?' he'd just smile and tell you everything then and there on the spot.

>> No.1601276

>>1601270
Then he'd say at the end that "No, i'm not going to kill you from behind the scenes"

and then kill you right then and there.

>> No.1601283

>>1601270
>>1601276
More accurately, he'd smile and give a nod to someone over your shoulder, and before you know it you just got Gates of BabylOWN'd.

...Shit that IS annoying.

>> No.1601286

>>1601276
"FUCKING BAD ENDS AT EVERY TWIST AND TURN!"

>> No.1601302
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1601302

>>1599725

>> No.1601304
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1601304

>>1601229

It's the eyebrows that make them evil.

>> No.1601313

>>1601270

That's what I like the most about him.

<3 really honest characters.

>> No.1601320

>>1601313
"What did you think of Kiritsugu?"
"I hated his guts."

>>
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