/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Welcome to clinical depression.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>14003880
Chihaya's tongue doesn't cut it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004046

Chihaya has it too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004170
How do i cure her of it?

[Anonymous No.]

hibiki is my pet, dude

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004254
Are you a serotonin reuptake inhibitor?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004320
If that is nerd speak for "being able to give lots of hugs and kisses", then yes, i am!

[Anonymous No.]

>implying depression is a disorder instead of a mood

[Anonymous No.]

>>14003880
You're about 8 years too late, bud.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004254
With your dick.

[Anonymous No.]

Haruka x Chihaya is the best.

[Anonymous No.]

i wanna have sex with haruka

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004693
Who are you quoting?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004693

Getting people to argue about definitions instead of the actual matter is subversive.

[Anonymous No.]

i'd be depressed too if i had hydrocephalus

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004320

[Anonymous No.]

Thanks, it's nice to be here.

[Anonymous No.]

I dunno if I'm depressed or if I'm just a fucking loser. I still feel happy or laugh at stuff sometimes so I guess I'm just a retard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011600

A hallmark symptom of chronic depression is the inability to experience happiness even in response to things that should invoke it which leads to a decrease in interest in doing anything because the reward mechanism is gone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14004365
It's awfully cute of you to say that.

I too want to embrace+smooch Chihaya in a pure and adorable fashion. Though I wouldn't feel comfortable attempting to seduce her unless I was also a reasonably attractive 2D girl. Them's the breaks I guess.

[Anonymous No.]

>tfw not on antidepressants anymore
>tfw not depressed

I just fucked a fleshlight for 10 minutes and I feel good.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011783

The last three times I've masturbated I just gave up because I wasn't getting anywhere.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011822
Maybe your diet (zinc), or daily stress is too much, or you're not lifting.

[Anonymous No.]

I feel depressed and anxious constantly. Not for a moment does it stop. I wish I had someone to confide in. I am alone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011879
Stare at a blank wall for 10 minutes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011885
I've been doing that for the past few hours or so. This has been going on for many years. I use alcohol to ease the anxiety.

Anyways, how are you, anon?

[Anonymous No.]

Has anyone else tried subliminal messaging?

I've been listening to some for a few weeks and I'm now sleeping less without being tired, don't wake up feeling like shit every day for no reason, and don't get anxious/fall into despair over the slightest things any more.

I still don't feel particularly good, but it's eliminated the worst of the negative. Hopefully continuing will have more effect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14012669
Exactly what resources are you using?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011890
>I use alcohol to ease the anxiety.

This so much, I even invented my own drink. It's nothing really special, it's just a white russian but instead of cream you use amarula. It's surprisingly tasty, and you get 30% more alcohol. I want to drink with /jp/sies, it's a really comfy passtime, and trying new drinks is one of the few pleasures I have left.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14014502
This post inspired me to have a drink.

[Lenfried MOST ICHIBAN Boyfrien(...) !xQm9.FabbA No.]

>>14014502
Anon, if your recipe can transmit a Taste inside this screen, it Taste .... incredible !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

white russians taste like Christmas
Of course this other alternatives, is you can try Kahlua and Baileys in your coffee for a kick as HELL.
By the way, of course I add many more Kahluas than coffee.

However, its an expensive recipes.
As you say I really would enjoy to have this company of some serious /jp/sie in a bar-room reverie. The phantasmagoric dream lives on.
In this beginning, everyone its nervous as HELL.
However, we pour many drinks.
Have beer in some place.
Jesus christ man I've got no job.
Then, after many hour, everyone its feelings good. Its a /jp/sie revolution.
We have this reminiscent into dreamlike days. In this moment, Many beautiful /jp/sie dreamlight miracle is formed. And then, we can finally understand, of this beauty in Life.

By the way, may I interject to offer some incredible awakening of a cocktail dreamstate..................................??
And now I unveil........this most guarded recipes...................please enjoying this drink...............................

The Vodka
Ingredients: 750ml vodka
Pint glass required

1. Pour vodka into pint glass

[Anonymous No.]

>>14014165

These:

https://youtu.be/78LSPqmwzJc
https://youtu.be/nFuQ5FPKvDk
https://youtu.be/nY_Be_NGUuo
https://youtu.be/eZT2SU6zOPQ

Please no bully. They're the only things aside from meditation that have ever helped, and meditation is temperamental as fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14014802
Holy shit. Kill yourself immediately.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015043
I'm pretty sure that's just a placebo.

[Anonymous No.]

I prefer schizophrenia

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015550
What? Are you schizophrenic?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015562
Yeah
My case isn't bad in comparison to others, at least
Plus I can enjoy the utmost vivid imagination

[Anonymous No.]

Th-thanks.

>>14014502
I found some guy on /ck/ posting a few touhou drink recipes, and went and downloaded them all even though I can't afford to make any more than a few of them. I wish I could try them all.

[Anonymous No.]

You people don't unironically have depression, right?
Like, just cheer up lol.

[Anonymous No.]

Hello depression my friend.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015955
Depression is like a friend that's always with you, even on the toilet!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14006669
doooood dilbert was the shit when i was little. I need to start reading it again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015914
They probably think their lives are hard when they have a house and a family that cares about them, just because they don't want to have to work or get an education, what a bunch of noobs lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015492
Looks more like ASMR-music cross-breed. Besides, don't underestimate mental shit in helping

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015492

There's some misconception over what placebo actual is.

Most, maybe all, drugs have a placebo component: if you tell someone their real medicine is a placebo, it will reduce its efficacy by approximately the same amount as what is gained by giving someone a placebo and saying it is a real medicine. It's on the magnitude of half the overall effect of the drug.

Placebo is merely a means of activating the body's self repair mechanisms, rather than a substance itself chemically intervening. Any kind of therapy is effectively a placebo.

The notion that it is "just a trick" is not correct.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14003880
>clinical depression
Thats just an excuse for failed losers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017162

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017162

No.

It is a physiological condition that changes the structure of the brain, including:

- reduced neuroplasticity
- a reduced number of neurotransmitter receptors
- shrunken hypocampus and reduced rate of neuron production
- shrunken prefrontal cortex
- increased amygdala activity and size

It can also cause an array of physical symptoms and possibly even epigenetic changes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017389
>reduced neuroplasticity

so that must be why i don't improve despite all of my practice

my brain's as plastic as a rock and thinks half as well as one

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017389
It's also something that can be diagnosed and psychotropically treated on the basis of telling your doctor that you feel sad.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017482
It's almost as if mood changes are a symptom!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017470

I realised that as I wrote it, too.

It's a good thing, though, because it means I'm not actually as retarded as I believed and I may be able to reverse it.

>>14017482

Treatment is of limited effectiveness.

The primary method is Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors, which allow the reduced number of serotonin receptors to function more effectively, thus removing a bottleneck and possibly allowing some of the other changes to reverse.

They're not very effective on their own, however, and need to combined with therapy methods, which rely on the patient allowing themself to be told what to do. If they're sceptical, pessimistic, or distrusting, it won't work, and these traits are more likely to exist in a depressed person than a neurotypical. If this happens, the patient is likely to become even worse and addicted to therapy.

Ultimately, it is up to the patient to cure themself, which requires finding a method that works for oneself, realising it works and practicing mental discipline to overcome the brain's adapted functions. Considering the brain is unable to learn effectively; is insensitive to reward mechanisms, but hyper sensitive to punishment mechanisms; resistant to physical change, and reduced in ability to process information, it is no small feat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017389
citation needed

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017521
>tfw diagnosed with clinical depression, serotonin reuptake inhibitors do nothing and the psychiatrist I'm assigned can't convince me the world is a nice place because I've already read up on the practice enough to know that mental health professionals exist to trick patients into feeling better and will say literally anything to make you neurotypical if they could

And then after 3 months of that, it was the dreaded schizophrenia diagnosis despite exhibiting no paranoid delusions or visual/audic hallucinations. Maybe my psychiatrist gave me that one just to spite me for being such a bastard in therapy...

[Anonymous No.]

>>14018025

Look up the function of the structures listed in here: >>14017389

The consequences are obvious.

They're are no drugs that will reverse all of these effects.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14018025
>Go on any half decent journal's website
>search for articles under the key words "neuroplasticity, depression, and brain"
>Gee whiz look at all these cited studies about the role of depression in brain structure

http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v33/n1/full/1301574a.html

[Anonymous No.]

Snap out of it if you are a man.
Depression is literally for pussies

[Anonymous No.]

>he doesn't have a job
>because of "depression and anxiety"

[Anonymous No.]

I want the crossies to leave.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14019065

I have a job.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14019113
There is nothing wrong with browsing multiple boards, and multiple websites. Anyone that thinks "crossies" are a real thread is probably a hypocrite and definitely a faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14019168

"Crossie" is meant to refer to someone who doesn't respect board etiquette.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14019369
My mistake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011656
I mean, I knew this, but seeing it written out... fuck.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14003880
But I never left

[Anonymous No.]

real changs like me don't get depressed because we're too intelligent for that

[Anonymous No.]

Depression is a mood, and emotions are not disorders.
Or you can take your soma like a good goy and enjoy your brave new world.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030049
>Depression is a mood

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030049

IT'S A PERSONALITY

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030122
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030228
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mood_disorder

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030122

Stop responding to his bait.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030228
>>14030394
>quoting wikipedia
>ever

[Anonymous No.]

>>14030522
>hello yes i am still in high school my teacher tells me anyone can edit wikipedia so it's bad

[Anonymous No.]

why did my haruka thread become a fucking neet blog

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033168
survival of the fittest
if you want to shitpost about idols you have to take the gamble

[Anonymous No.]

>try recreational drugs after being miserable and depressed for 25 years

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033295
I'd love more research into psychedelics about this. Not in the recreational sense though, just jump-starting your brain and shaking those rigid pathways a bit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033343
It's not a lot, but I can give you my experience.

I am currently diagnosed with depression, and have tried cannabis while under the effect of Voxra and Setraline.

In my experience, it does help out to find some happiness in your life, and if you can not find happiness anywhere else, it becomes a reason to live at least, however, while not very harmful to your body, it does cause a down spiral loop of more depression since you want that feeling more frequently, and in higher doses, and at the same time you naturally develop immunity against it, causing the same dose to make you react less and less to it. Practically the same as with any drug addiction.

It has it pros and cons, and I see it as if you have no other sane non-harming solution, it is an alternative, but you should probably make sure someone knows about it, and can make sure you are careful while doing it so it does not become a part of your every day life.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033367
Yes that seems the risk.

If the feeling is completely gone after the trip, you're going to feel hopeless.

Perhaps mixing something like that with already mood altering medication is not wise either.

I was going to write a bit about self-control, but it's was going to sound self-righteous. Anyway, you can't blame someone for wanting to feel good, or at least alright.

Some, however, say that psychedelics was a life changing experience for them. Cannabis as you mentioned is of course quite a different thing from mushrooms, LSD, DMT, and such.

I'd love if there was modern day shamans to diagnose if you're mentally stable enough to try something like that, and guide you through if you decide to go for it. But that's probably something for a very different reality.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033295
no no no no no no no

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033367
>>14033401
Yeah with psychedelics you don't get that spiraling into depression and addiction thing. Tolerance is so stupidly huge on most psys that you couldn't even if you want to, and the trip itself is intense enough it's not an experience you want that much. In general the more frequent you trip the less you want to take more, opposite of most drugs.

Dissociatives have helped me the most with depression of any drug but I'm hooked on them as fuck at the moment. Would still recommend trying them though. I'm still better off having tried them than I was before even with tolerance becoming a major issue.

[Anonymous No.]

>using drugs
Kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

first it was the depressed neets and and now it's the drug niggers

this always happens

[Anonymous No.]

Most of my conscious thoughts are about suicide and feeling mentally exhausted at this point.

It feels really good in a way, though. I don't constantly worry about the future getting worse anymore. Now I can finally take it easy.

[Anonymous No.]

Do you sometimes feel that you're just meant to be depressed? For the last year I've cleaned up my diet, been exercising 5 times a week, and I get sun daily yet I barely feel any better. I still feel exhausted and mentally drained all the time. I can barely read eroge or play games for more than 15 minutes at a time. And I am not getting on meds again, fuck that. I can even remember the first half of my life thanks to that shit, but then maybe it's better that way.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14034813
this >>14017389 happened to your brain
and this >>14017521 is why you can't break out of the cycle so easily

[Anonymous No.]

>>14034839

I only realised the implications of those posts after I wrote them myself.

It makes me wonder why this isn't more widely known.

Even doctors didn't mention those things to me.

[fortunately I still have my ow(...) No.]

>>14034813

Just don't give up bro and when changing diets do a lot of reading, or you might end up with insomnia to make things worse.

My cannabis plant (OG Kush) was taken from me yesterday. She's been a real beauty, but someone had to take her away. I loved caring for that plant and I think I might have just gotten myself out of a depression this week, but I am still a bit chemically imbalanced nonetheless... My plant, I miss her. :'(

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017389
You're not completely wrong, but it's not simple nature. Nurture is perhaps most of it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14034813
You've cleaned up your sleep patterns too, right? That's one of the most serious major things you can do.

When you've been depressed for a long time, it will take a good amount of time to come out of it, that's natural. Remember that everything positive you do is statistically likely to leave a mark on your brain.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14034981
These sorts of drugs can help (... sometimes to break you down so much you have no choice but to change your entire outlook), but please use them responsibly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035056

Are you implying I said anyone who is depressed is born like it?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14034839
That makes a lot of sense. I hope I'm not fucked for life.

>>14034981
Thanks man. I am eating a balanced diet of meat, vegetables, and fruit, with some whole grains and dairy. It's definitely better than the processed junk I was eating before. I think the only way you can fuck up your diet is if you eat solely junk food like I did, or go full vegetarian/vegan.

>>14035070
Yeah, I go to sleep at the same time every night, and I rarely sleep in. Strange thing is I wake up with my chest feeling tight and I'm somewhat out of breath, not gasping for air but it feels like I've held my breath for a short period of time. I wake up every couple of hours, but often I have to get out of bed for a while and stand up until I feel better. I got tested for sleep apnea but apparently I don't have it, I'm not sure why my sleep is messed up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035082
Just making sure you aren't implying that, or giving that false idea to others since it can cause people to give up when that's not the right choice.

>>14035103
I would make studying your sleep a priority. If you do have something similar to sleep apnea, it can wreck havoc on the clarity of your waking consciousness. Sleep studies are a thing. If you're fat, try your best to slim down. If it's anxiety, you can find the root.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035121
I'm really at a loss since I've been trying to find out for a while now. I had two sleep studies done, but they both showed I didn't have sleep apnea or any sleep-related disorder for that matter. My BMI is normal, 20. Can anxiety make you stop breathing in your sleep? If so then I'll probably have to work on that because I find myself worrying a lot throughout the day.

[fortunately I still have my ow(...) No.]

>>14035121

I was hinting towards low carbs, carbs are good for serotonin production. ;)

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035137
Sleep studies won't always find it, if you don't happen to be having issues at the time. Perhaps the change in environment and comfort itself of being monitored allowed you to sleep better.

Anxiety is a thing you need to get over anyways, and though I haven't looked it up I have no doubt it can cause bad dreams and problems sleeping. Anxiety is great because it's relatively easy to overcome unlike physical disorders, try to find what is causing your anxiety at its root and make steps to change, even if it's changing your entire personality.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035161
You make it sound easy and somehow that gives me hope. Thanks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035103

That sounds like mild asthma.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035193
I'm with you man, I changed my entire personality completely, though I'm only in my mid 20's. It's possible.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035196
I was also considering that because when I went to a cardiologist they found nothing but mitral valve prolapse, which is extremely common and has no symptoms for the most part. I am going to see a pulmonologist since I am tired of having shitty sleep and random chest pains for the past 10 years. Also tired of sleep meds because they give you the illusion of sleeping better but they fuck your sleep cycles to hell and back.

>>14035197
I think it's more like your original personality just resurfaced. Maybe if I work hard enough the same will happen to me. I really don't want to believe that that being depressed is a part of my personality, that would fucking suck balls.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035247
If you weren't always depressed, rest assured it's not. Besides, if we look at twin studies on depression, we can see that depression is not simple genetics, it's not simply apart of you, it's in major part a learned response.

If you're looking to get a broken sleep cycle on track, try 0.5-1mg of melatonin OTC (don't be taking 3mg pills). It can make you depressed though especially as you adjust to the new cycle.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14035247
It's not as simple as 1,2,3 to get your "original personality" resurfaced by the way, but comparing the length of pain you must go through and what you can do afterwards, the pain is a complete and utter non-issue. You only realize this after defeating your issues. GL

[Anonymous No.]

Does anybody have a link to that guide to get disability payments (a.k.a. autism bux)

I'm not necessarily commited to it at this point, but it's looking like it's going to be impossible for me to finish school at the rate I'm going.

blogshit, but so is the rest of this thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>changing your personality from realistic to optimistic
Wow, it seems like all these druggies here can't handle reality.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14015713
>4 hours ago.
If you're still here, would you mind posting the rest of the touhou drink recipes? I love this kind of stuff.

[anon-kun No.]

test

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036541
More like 4 days ago, but yeah I'm here. There's over 30 of em, one for most characters from games 6,7 and 8. I just posted mokou cause she's my favorite and I've also actually made that one. Got one you want specifically?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036577
Not him, but can you post the Cirno one?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036577
>More like 4 days ago, but yeah I'm here.

Me too anon, me too.

One with vodka in it please.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036594
Looks pretty decent. The mokou was delicious.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036577
>More like 4 days ago
I always seem to miss the important details.
Do you have any with Yuyuko?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036594
>>14036597
>>14036605
>>14036612

Pretty sure images, are broken still, I don't think he can post them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036614
Yeah this, sorry guys, I thought my internet was being shit again but I guess not. I'll post them as soon as I can though.

[Anonymous No.]

> IT'S A PERSONALITY

not really

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036626
It's not a personality, depression is simply the logical response to not being in a good situation.
Emotions are part of the human experience, don't try to kill your emotions.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036512
If you think staying unmotivated is going to defeat unrealistic unoptomistic thinking, you're a delusional waiting for a medical miracle. Being realistic and optimistic are not mutually exclusive, not that being an optimist /in general/ is a requirement, or even encouraged.

>>14036626
Nobody said it is only personality, if that's what you're trying to imply that someone implied.
However, in case you don't know the definition: "Personality has to do with individual differences among people in behavior patterns, cognition and emotion."

[Anonymous No.]

>>14036594
Testing if 4chan's got its shit together yet

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>14037899
Optimism is by definition not realism.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14038667
"A tendency to expect the best possible outcome or dwell on the most hopeful aspects of a situation"

Sure then, but I'm not optimistic by definition anyways, nor was it my intention to spread it in particular. Motivation on the other hand is a requirement for life, whether it be negative or positive.

[Anonymous No.]

Sometimes I really want to die. my life has been horrible until now and I'm old enough to know that things will always be like this until I die.
I really don't kno how I find motivation to try everytime to get back on my feet
I mean, its useless.
I wish I was a bird

[Anonymous No.]

>>14038741
I wish I was a fluffy cat.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14038741
Taking flight is easy enough.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14038840
Oh my gah.

[Anonymous No.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPQyDvFOYU8

hey just wanna spread the good vibes and wish fortune for anyone who is going thru rough times

[Anonymous No.]

Pretty sure depression has damaged my motor function.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14041946
If you're here, you're probably a sperg, and spergs naturally have poor motor function due to over/under connectivity to frontal lobes.
Many successful people are big ol' secret spergs though, just don't go into sports.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14042740

It used to be the opposite though; I was way more dexterous than average to the point where it was annoying to have everyone else be so slow and uncontrolled. Now it's so bad that drop and knock over things, spill liquids, walk into and hit limbs on things, and almost fall over dozens of times a day. It's pretty much a meme for my family and colleagues. Typing and writing is terrible and I never build a muscle memory for anything.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14043737
It's very hard to pay attention and learn how to control your body (or anything else) when you spend too much time inside your head depressed.

Try your best to beat that depression of yours. I also became uncoordinated when depressed due to lack of caring and accurate learning.

[Anonymous No.]

if I die
and I will
oh please, please bury me
in the ground by my school
where I once worked

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044105

I wonder if it's even possible that my neuroplasticity and neutron growth is so retarded that my brain never actually adapted to controlling an adult sized body fully. I was depressed long before I reached my adult height, so it might make sense.

[Anonymous No.]

The only noticeable effect I ever got from SSRIs was inability to get/stay hard and reach orgasm.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044839
I remember one time I was fapping for 4 hours straight trying to cum on Prozac. I got really frustrated because I wanted to blow my load so badly, I got close so many times and then when I finally came it didn't even feel that good.
Fuck SSRIs.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044839

Temporary: severe insomnia, digestive disruption, disorientation around lights, weight gain

Managed to overcome: inability to orgasm

Constant until I stopped taking them: restless leg syndrome, failure to record memories in any detail

I don't think they had any positive effects at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044365
Why do you want to be buried there?

[Anonymous No.]

everybody rabu
everybody raiku
haruka!!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044839
I was very depressed when I started to lose my hair, so I tried taking propecia and the effects were just like you mentioned.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044938
I take them for anxiety and that shit is like night and day. My memory even improved from the ability to think more clearly.

[noun !hCoapajH.w No.]

>>14017162
this.
>>14017389
failed normie
>>14030049
correct.
>>14034662
same people
>>14045320
>takes drugs
>improved anything
enjoy the long time side effects

[Anonymous No.]

>>14045320
I'm the same, first time in my "adult" life I could go out and walk around the town without feeling like everyone wanted me dead or something.

I missed the opportunity they gave me though, >>14017521 explains it well. Five years later I'm still on them, the effect isn't what it used to be, and I've gone back to my hikki ways.

[Anonymous No.]

Didn't know /jp/ accepted blogposting.
Went through my first actual depression like 10 months ago, which kept going for several months until last April or May. When you're 21, it's always hard to have personal issues (read: first world problems) that put you in a worse state than the time when your first gf told you she cheated on you.

[Anonymous No.]

I've decided that I'm going to put up with being a depressed person because while it does land me on the performance shitlist every quarter I still do enough that they're not going to fire me. The thought of being a happy person is practically dreadful to me.

The difference is probably that I haven't hit a wall like some of you and am able to keep stumbling along.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14046014
I was afraid of becoming annoyingly cheerful and carefree. Really, the likelihood of that for me was zero. What really happened was that my natural characteristics came through more once my brain wasn't stuck on one emotion.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14046014

The thought of expressing positive emotions as freely as others is very embarrassing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14046014
>>14046120
I'm curious, do you guys equate capability to be happy with stupidity?

Because that really awful way to think.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14046152

If people have never seen you act in that manner ever before, it would alarm them. It would only be temporary, but it would be difficult to handle. If people ever see me "smile" they make a huge fuss out of it and cause embarrassment so I avoid accidentally doing it again.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14045894
You are a long term side effect.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044938
>>14044880
I had terrible problems with sleeping on trazodone, I would stay awake in bed for like 2 hours trying to fall asleep and when I finally did I'd get woken up by any slightest noise and then could not fall asleep again.
The dick problems usually get better with time, the thing I hated though is that I thought they were supposed to lower your sex drive, but nothing like that happened. I still wanted to fap jsut as much, only I couldn't.

>>14046152
If you consider that people often get "happy" over the simplest and most insignificant things, I guess so.

>>14045993
>your first gf
Get out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044711
The brain remains plastic throughout life, contrary to what early brain science might lead you to believe. The hippocampus is especially a place of neuronal growth, which is a place predominantly associated with memory.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044839
>>14044880
>>14044938
>>14046401
SSRIs may soon enough be a thing of the past. Look at Tianeptine, NSI-189 and ketamine-like drugs. You may even order them yourself if you're absolutely certain you don't have an addictive personality.
Don't however just assume you can just wait for these drugs to release, keep making mental efforts because drugs simply do not work well at all on their own

>>14046187
They will make a "huge fuss" out of it because it surprises them. That's natural. Please remember that normally people actually want to see you happy, and do not mean to discourage it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14047966

I am refering to the reduced plasticity caused by depression, not by age.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048510
Yes but I just want to make the point that the brain remains plastic, at least if you're still living in it.

I've noticed that if someone has the tendency to rationalize everything like lots of spergs do, you'll concentrate too much on scientific terms like "neuroplasticity" and "neuronal growth", and rationalize your lack of learning to deal with an adult body as something like "I became slow so my brain didn't adapt". Your theory isn't bad, but maybe you've done enough rationalizing? I don't know, but I do know that we can rationalize these sorts of things all day without attempting to fix them. Sorry for the unwarranted advice

[Anonymous No.]

what is clinical depression anyway

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048586
I proposed disorder (basically meaning maladaptation to society), divided into many proposed sub-disorders (Atypical depression, Major Depression, Dysthymia etc) that requires a person to have certain traits (including low mood) in order for a person to receive a diagnosis and treatment for.

In short, nobody really knows, but people are trying their hardest to rationalize it and find a physical basis for it to make for easier diagnosis and treatment.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048606
Actually, correction, it seems clinical depression is another term for MDD (Major Depressive Disorder), a subtype of depression disorder.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048576

It's the first explanation that isn't a doom sentence.

My progress in anything is multiple times slower than even average people, so it seemed I had to settle on an explanation of actually being retarded. That was terrible because it meant I'd have to spend the rest of my life struggling to even exist, having to put so much extra time and effort into absolutely everything because I'm so dysfunctional, and from all this work still being way below average in any metric.

If it is caused by long term depression, then it is possible it might be fixable and there might be an incentive to live.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048625
Don't worry, even if you WERE retarded, people would accept this fact and you get a free pass in life. You will never know for sure however until you try your hardest. Pic related.

Depression really does slow down the brain and make you feel "retarded", but judging by the clarity of your sentences and logic, I'm very sure you're just depressed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14011890
Overusing stress coping mechanisms with a chance of addiction may lead to more stress, since those mechanisms quickly become associated with stress, resulting in the increased usage of said stress mechanisms and acquisition of new patterns revolving around stress which you frequently use.
It's a loop, only way to break free is to stop running away. Anxiety ain't gonna fix itself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048666

I didn't use it as an excuse.

As I said, it takes me multiple times longer to do anything, so I just put the extra time into things that were important. It's too strenuous though, and some things inevitably have to suffer because no-one has unlimited effort, so it's inevitably a slow downward spiral at best.

Finding a way out is the real challenge, as I've never functioned outside of early childhood in a normal mental state.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048716
Clarification: not "just" "depressed". Other mental issues could be going on too, but they shouldn't be unimprovable.

Maladjusted people do tend to be that way because they've become very used to applying poor defense mechanisms, rather than letting down their defenses. Often you'll get this way because of the failure of teachers in your life such as parents and government.

And yes, I don't mean to say you're using it as an excuse, but if you want, you could use it as an excuse if you ever snap out of it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044711
Either you use it, or lose it, that's how it works. And considering that belief can affect performance, don't blame your brain for it, you have yourself to blame for your lifestyle choices, at least to some degree.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048716
It's tough working through things, yes. Nobody has unlimited effort because they're encompassed in what seems to be finite bodies. If those who you're working for are at all understanding (or if they're your parents), I will suggest letting them know when you're stressed so that they can help you, because we're all in this shit-storm together.

I see you say things like "it's inevitably a slow downward spiral at best", and this is right in some sense (I would say this spiral is infinite, honestly), but you should fully accept that all things that live will eventually die (if you haven't already), because that's nature.

As a human you do need to suffer to learn, but emotionally significant suffering doesn't need to persist until death. If you haven't already tried meditation, I would practice it if it's currently viable for you in your state of mind.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048776

I didn't mean a downward spiral to death. I meant losing control of more and more aspects of my life because I can't maintain them.

Meditation worked really well a few years ago, then I couldn't enter the meditative state any more. My brain likes to do that. It is currently bringing back my selective mutism against my will.

We should probably take this to /r9k/ or something because it's not on-topic and the janitor will come around eventually.

[[e-mail] No.]

>>14048797
Selective mutism is an anxiety thing. I think it's standard to treat anxiety before depression, but that can be Googled. When you find yourself with any willpower, like the willpower you use right now, I would try using it to challenge the anxiety. In what ways you can accomplish this depends on your circumstances. It seems to me anxiety best takes its hold when you ignore the causes and give into it/concentrate on the anxiety itself.

We could take this to r9k, but it seems janitors have been lenient thus far, and I only sage.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048873

It's not anxiety like feeling nervous. It's like bashful bladder where you can feel fine but the piss just won't come out because of of an unconscious block. It's the same but with words. I feel fine, but the words are inaudible. You can't just "calm down".

It went away for years, but it's suddenly come back

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048886
Selective mutism is still defined as an anxiety disorder. Do you think depression or other factors have muted the feeling of anxiety itself, or have you never been an anxious person?

It can certainly be more difficult to find the root cause of the block when the feelings are muted, but the solution can still stay the same which is to make life changes and attempt exploration (essentially, keep trying and see what works and doesn't), whatever it may be.

Naturally I don't want to suggest drugs because they weren't my solution, but good ones are in the pipeline (which still need to be combined with good habits). Even if it's very hard to solve your problems right now, I can do nothing but suggest to keep trying and and hang in there and call a psychiatrist when you see the news.

This is indeed getting pretty bloggy, hence the email I left above if contact is needed for you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048921

I'll move to email.

[Anonymous No.]

h-haruka-chan desu...

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048886
You can, but it would require strong willpower and effort and it will likely cause damage too, change must be gradual. The guy you've replied to is correct on the concentration part.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14048995
Indeed, willpower doesn't necessarily need to be strong at first, but ideally it would be relatively strong to your current situation. But yes, gradual is perhaps the better path so that you don't perceive it as a total failure even when it probably isn't.

"Damage" is a bit vague. Damage to your perceived surroundings will mostly be social, but besides, the social damage is already there by being depressed in the first place, and people can be a lot more forgiving than you think. The internal damage can/will heal though, like tearing one's muscles during exercise it should naturally be ameliorated with time and add to one's repository of good knowledge if the experience isn't completely taken in a bad light.

Tired right now so I might be speaking through my ass a bit, I'm going to bed. Sleep is #1

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049026
I was talking about brain damage in particular, since trying to cause sudden change in personality through brute force may possibly lead to some degree of it, although it depends on a lot of things. It's certainly not nice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049034
Brain Damage: "injury to the brain that impairs its functions, especially permanently."
I think this is a term best suited for physical happenings, not something that arises from a mental workout.

If you want to know my view, I had to feel like I had "brain damage" for a while, but the brain is resilient and always strives to build itself back up again to workable levels. Fixing yourself will never be nice, the nice part comes afterwards.

As a semi-related example, if you look at the use of psychedelics, you could say these people temporarily "damage" their brains, but even if they have a horrible experience they almost always say it was worth it and made them a better person.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049049
It can arise though, if partially mental, from excessive blood pressures, mental illness predisposition whether acquired or natural, drugs, believing things very hard to the point of fanatism and gaining hallucinations. Mental is physical too, after all.
Brain is resilient, but it's not limitless. And by not nice I meant strokes from radical changes. They kinda, you know, decrease chances of having nice part afterwards for long.
As for saying it's worth it, it is debatable, for every person has their own standards of worth.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049062
Such stress is only really a huge risk factor for stroke when it's prolonged. You're extremely unlikely to pop a vein if you're young anyways, regardless of what you do. Let's keep statistics in mind if we aren't already, I think stroke is the least of worries when actually /dealing/ with such issues as depression and anxiety.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroke#Causes
I honestly don't see "thinking really hard" on this list, if anything the side-effects of belief is what might eventually cause one. Maybe you could enlighten me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049113
That's what I was talking about it, albeit that would require very strong belief and potentially some existing problems, wasn't talking about likelyhood either.
Just pointing out that on the small chance it's best to take it gradually, that way you also may learn something too. Afraid can't enlighten you much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049130
Perhaps it's best to take it gradually, perhaps it's not. Do remember though that strong pervasive change is an accepted treatment method today, like in the case of severe depression with electroconvulsive therapy and high-dose ketamine.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049145
It's called flooding, right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049151
Flooding seems to be a term you can apply to it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flooding_%28psychology%29

The other method is systematic desensitization.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systematic_desensitization

They both look to have their advantages and disadvantages, but to find the time in yourself and others to do systematic desensitization can potentially be difficult in its own right. Let's simply not rule out options.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049169
True. In the end it's up to the patient, provided they can choose for themselves at all, though. That and their stances on will, determination and treatments.

[Anonymous No.]

...

[Anonymous No.]

>tfw you have two methods of instantaneous and painless suicide at hand

I'm just waiting for my last parent to pass away so the pain can be minimized. After that I'm out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049545
Don't die yet friend, /jp/ will miss you

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049545
So a gun and what?
I've got train tracks nearby, often thought walking over to them, sitting in a bush and then putting my head on the tracks before the driver can brake sounds pretty instant and painless. Do you live in a tall building?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049796
i for one will not miss him

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049942
It's more fun and lasts longer to change the world than to only change yourself irreversibly via death, especially when you have a semi-rare suicidal viewpoint to give

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049995
That doesn't sound instantaneous at all.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14050051
Life and death is a slow process, but it doesn't have to be bad

[Anonymous No.]

>>14050060
*all bad

[Anonymous No.]

death is what was before you were born. nothing to be afraid of. but still. it sucks, for me and you both, and i want to kill myself too, being a worthless neet and all. but find the worth. find it for yourself. that's all you can do. going into nothingness again isn't worth it. please..

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049942
Please consider how the train driver would feel.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051053

Might make their day more interesting.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051053
It's not like he could've changed directions.
I bet they have a club that only lets in drivers that had someone get in front of their train.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051314
A normie that kills a person due to no fault of their own would still feel very bad, and repeat in their head the situation to try and find a better way it could have played out.

Besides, cause and effect is a thing but is free will? Is anything ever really anyone's fault?

[Anonymous No.]

I want to die but an equally depressed girl forced me by exploiting my anxiety to get a job and take care of her while she lives the NEET life. I don't even have romantic or sexual feelings for her, but I reason that I'm essentially dead anyway so may as well give someone else a life I wish I had. Just got off a 16 hour work shift and I never use any of my money on myself aside from food funds.

[Spoiler]But she's extroverted and is only a shut on because of her social anxiety, so doesn't even appreciate the NEET life since she constantly wishes she had friends to normalfag with.[/spoiler]

[Anonymous No.]

>>14042740
Ah, maybe this is why I suck so much at video games despite wasting my life on them...

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051849
Your motor skills probably aren't the cause. Many professional gamers (and those at the top of anything) are big ol' spergs anyways.

I simply use the word sperg to mean "imbalanced", really, and I assume any imbalance in the mind will show up in the frontal lobes. It's not really important to have strong accurate motor skills in general for videogames, what's more important is probably quick specialized motor skills.

People usually seem to suck at videogames because they just don't know how to control their emotions and thoughts. You can't get upset or angry or be completely flat when playing a game, or the learning experience won't have the right impact on you... Try not to spend all your time on videogames, though.


>>14051823
If you have the mental bandwidth, you can learn to beat your own anxiety then help hers. People have lots of mental barriers that prevent them from helping others like yourself, despite feeling like they should.

[Anonymous No.]

God I hate depressed faggots. Why dont you all just kill yourselves if you hate your life so much?

Meanwhile I will enjoy being a NEET, getting free autism bux because I have been deemed unable to work, doing whatever the fuck I want all day long and having absolute freedom.

Piss off you depressed losers. >>>/r9k/

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051927
How long have you been living this lifestyle? Your life will degrade eventually if it's too imbalanced and you're not already an old man.
>>>/b/

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051932
Close to 4 years now. When exactly am I supposed to get depressed again?

>>>/r/eddit

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051927

I don't know how you can live like that without fear of losing your welfare money.

Unless you're a "I'll just kill myself" guy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051935
I already told you. When you become too imbalanced.
You look like quite the attention whore to be typing angry sounding words in a clinical depression thread. You're probably fine for now, normie.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051937
Why do you fear of having your welfare taking away from me?

Any psychologist that will talk to me for over an hour will deem me unable to work in any position. Even if I don't get benefits anymore I will still get enough money to live, my spendings are really low anyways since I pirate anything I play/watch and sitting in front of my computer is all I do.

>>14051939
>I am enjoying my life of imbalance. Maybe this is less about balance and more about you being a whiny faggot?

God I hate how this community is infested with failed normies like you who cry about normalfags, yet they are depressed for not being normalfags themselves.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051963
This is prime bait, /jp/. Do not let the normie detail discussion if you value it, ignore it and it will pass.

[Anonymous No.]

You use the word normal so much it becomes devaluated, especially when it wasn't that precise to begin with.
for what purpose

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051963

What if a new government is elected that severely limits welfare?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051971
Oh the failed normie who is depressed because he doesn't actually enjoy otaku culture at all and simply joined the culture because he failed getting himself into a normal life with normal friends is calling me a normalfag?

You are the one who is depressed for not being normal. Go back to the place of the other failed normies. >>>/r9k/

>>14051977
I don't see that ever happening, if anything my government is becoming more socialist every election.

If I make it until my parents die there is also the inheritance that should keep me afloat for a few more decades. Once I am 70+ years old I will get some sort of welfare anyways.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051989
You fail to notice that I'm not the depressed one here, and I'm perfectly content whether you leave or not, but I think it's best you get lost.

Also, politics are more unstable than you believe, not everyone lives in the same country, and uncertainty in your life can be harmful. Get lost.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051927
>getting free autism bux because I have been deemed unable to work,
The only way you could be "deemed unable to work" here is if you were actually retarded. Check your privilege, faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14049942
Gun and Nembutal.

>>14049796
Fuck jaypee

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052607
Take the nembutal dissolved in a fifth of vodka and you'll pass out and die in minutes. Painless and quick. Make sure nobody finds you or has a chance to interfere.

A gun is my backup method assuming the first fails.

Go on /suicide/ on infinitechan to find suppliers of pentobarbital. I won't link it here and risk a bannu.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051927
>Why dont you all just kill yourselves
I've been hit with a Japanese cold, I am certainly dying very soon.

The only reason I was depressed is because I am not able to sustain a NEET lifestyle.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052635
>>14052607
Please don't seek like-minded suicidal advice and kill yourself yet, it's better than you think being at the bottom of the top of the food chain

>>14052653
You should be fine, keep hydrated and fed. It's OK if it's hard to sustain a NEET lifestyle: if you're not 3rd world, very very few will want you die under their supervision.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051823
What the fuck? Kick her out and take me in instead. She doesn't even sound grateful.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052714
Nah, go fuck yourself. I have every right to suicide.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052728
You do, your brain is your own, I'm not forcing anything on you by asking something of you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052714
Thanks, I've been drinking a lot of tea but my throat hurts a lot and my muscle are starting to ache.
As for my NEET lifestyle, I've actually been diagnosed with autism thanks to my dad who dragged me to the doctor one day.
Some psychiatrist suggested me to get on autismbux while I await "treatment" but it's not going very well.

Anyway, /jp/ keeps my mind a bit occupied in a positive manner even if 4chan is bad for me in the long run.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052753
Tea is great stuff, especially fresh tea that hasn't been excessively processed.

Medical specialists haven't yet found a concrete physical basis for diagnosing autism, so don't worry too much about the diagnosis if you are. The government gives money to people with autism because it's too much effort to spend time helping them properly, so they essentially throw money at you and hope you help yourself.

/jp/ is fun and feels positive, but is full of like-minded individuals, try not to base your lifestyle around it if you can.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052789
I've been mostly drinking supermarket tea but I have been interested in trying more organic stuff or more japanese kinda tea.
As for autism, I think what you posted is exactly the reason why things aren't going that well, I'm drowning in paperwork and there goes a lot of time over appointments at different institutes.
As a whole, 4chan can be destructive, but for now, let me wallow a bit longer in the good feels that the site brings.
Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it.

[Anonymous No.]

I realized that getting lost in 2D, can be pretty harmful for me. Especially when "reality" starts to catch up again. It's like a self hurting kind of thing but psychologically.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052889
Anything that takes you away from reality should eventually catch up to you, if not through death, but that's not to say 2D has no basis in reality.

Pic related, but having two X chromosomes doesn't necessarily make you completely worthless.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm a NEET again. Little over a year. I found a job a few weeks ago, but they fired me after about a week. I didn't know they had such a high turnover rate. I'm right back in it and I feel useless and disposable. I'm trying as hard as I can, but that was all I got.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14052998
Every failure is an experience. Clearly you weren't the only one to be fired. Being laid off is a natural part of finding a stable job, though, don't take it personally. Company politics can be hectic and responsibility of employees can be diffuse.

Excuse the crossie picture.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14053026
Thank you, kind anon. That made me feel a little better. I've applied to a dozen or so new jobs. Hopefully I'll hear back from someone when the holiday ends.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14053071
Yeah, applying to lots of jobs will help you find one. Raise your chances by having others check over your resume/CV. Also raise chances by learning the skill of confidence for interviews (because that's all they mainly care for if you're applying for a higher-tier job). If you don't get the job, you can try again later.

You might also be applying to the "higher-tier" jobs unexpectedly. When applying for those jobs you'll just have to curb your expectations. Those with no experience need to start somewhere.

Good luck

[Anonymous No.]

>>14033168

2010-2012 /jp/ is back

[Anonymous No.]

i just wish i could post with my friends again but dickspamer stopped that

[Anonymous No.]

Smoking marijuana with Chihaya!

[Anonymous No.]

what would chihaya's stuffed melon-pans taste like if she put them in without the plastic (for extra friction)

[Anonymous No.]

>>14017521
All super neato except regular outdoor exercise is shown to be at least as effective as antidepressants (all forms, not just SSRIs), and any reputable psychiatrist would say that it's as much a psychosocial disease as a physiological one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14054005
[citation needed]

[Anonymous No.]

>>14054005

What intensity of exercise?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051894
Actually, I focus all my energy on helping her. I don't have feelings for her, but it's almost like having a daughter, so I try supporting her. She's improved a lot since I first met her, and is generally happier than I, just still has issues to sort through. On the other hand, I hide all my depression and anxiety from her while putting up a confident and happy front for her to rely on.

>>14051963
I wanted to get autism bux. I halfway filled out applications online for it, but I got too anxious to complete them; especially when I saw a part about listing family or friends who could verify your disability. I loved living the NEET life before I got kicked out my mother's house.

>>14052722
She's very grateful, but depression doesn't just go away. She appreciates what I do for her, just doesn't appreciate being a hikki (in the literal sense).

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057752
does this actually do anything?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057752
That's good you focus a lot of energy on helping her. However, women these days are often self-centered, and don't know what they really need to be happy. This video is a prime example https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U93BBNq5A64

To use the example of her being like your daughter, would you let your daughter do anything she wanted? Would you let her fuck and eat everything she wants, grow fat, loose, old and die? People become better and are helped the most through a combination of positive AND negative reinforcement. The easiest path to help her however is to first help/know yourself.

Few can appreciate being a hikki forever, I think the lifestyle eventually catches up to you unless you're a true hermit (which is an extreme rarity, and those should just go innawoods or become monks)

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057796
Saltwater rapidly dehydrates the body, thus it can kill you. Essentially your cells get fucked up because osmosis starts working in the wrong direction.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14051823
Shut the fuck up normie.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057830
Those extremely rare hermits already know what to do.

[Anonymous No.]

Should I take up smoking to help take my mind off things? My therapy hasn't really been helping and it feels like things are getting worse by the week. The only thing that I'm bothered about is the money that I'd have to spend on cigarettes.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057982
I highly suggest not taking up a drug habit. This will cause an imbalance in the cycles of your life, where you will be craving nicotine/MAOs and be forced to deal with that addiction as the perceived physical and emotional need comes and goes.

If you're dead set on a drug to take your mind off things, kava-kava is an anti-anxiety/anticonvulsant/antidepressant drug (must be consumed as root powder in water, dont buy extracts), that is said to not produce tolerance.

Again though, I suggest not getting into drug habits. Also, if your therapist isn't helping find a new one. Therapists know that their particular skillsets can't help everyone and they won't blame you for finding another.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057982
No, don't, bad habit.
Why isn't therapy working? Tried fixing things without it? It's not like it's impossible to fix yourself without it, even in the worst situations.
>take my mind off things
What kind of things?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058006
Holy fuck this post is retarded. muh cycles of life

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058042
What's that, some kind of bullshit?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057982
Just don't become an alcoholic, that is not a fun place to be.

[Anonymous No.]

1-2-3-

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058038
>Why isn't therapy working
I feel she focuses too much on my self confidence as a cause to my problems. While that certainly is an issue, there's other things that make me upset. But above all, it's my own fault. I can't stop using "I'm depressed" as an excuse to help myself feel better about how things currently are and so I don't have to try and get out of this state by doing something I don't want
And as to trying to help myself, I really have tried to do things in the past to try and improve my confidence and nervousness about the future by myself but each time I've gone and done something that has made me feel worse.
>What kind of things
Academics for the most part. But I'm also going through so trouble with money and my current lifestyle is terrible.

[Anonymous No.]

People who have not been really depressed as in clinically depressed for years like me cannot understand.
The difference between being sad as a normal reaction, and being depressed is HUGE.
Just as a small sample, today I've been browsing the net, playing games, masturbating, chatting with internet people, listening to music, exercising, eating well, things I'd normally enjoy. But I was on the verge of tears, literally tearing up all day. I just push through but do you think that's normal? I feel dizzy from the emotion, it's like my brain is sinking, and I feel compelled to kill myself for no reason. It does not feel like when I was healthy; I was not upbeat all the time, and used to get really sad when terrible things happened to me (and they did), but those were normal emotions, this feels different, and it never goes away no matter what you do, it's always creeping inside.
I finally went to the doctor recently, but I don't wanna take the serotonin inhibitors they prescribed. I have not researched on them yet, but the concept feels like chemical mutilation of the mind. OTOH, I might find myself dead if I don't do something soon, I was really close the other day.
It slowly builds up too. Just like an untreated infection, it takes over you until your condition gets critical. It's worse than a wound or a disease because you are never 100% sure it's real (specially at the beginning) and you think you can overcome it on your own and try and fail every time. It also isolates you from society, making you lonely and miserable. I've always isolated myself on purpose way more than a normal person and enjoyed it, but after catching this, the loneliness is too extreme and the feeling you are on your own against this overwhelming monster is crushing.
To anyone saying man up, I man up everyday when I wake up and go through my day feeling super sick with a smile on my face. Do you go to hospitals to tell people to stop whining and get out of bed too? you're fucking retarded.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058168
PS: I got a truckload of somatic symptoms because of this too. I have to take so many pills everyday that I feel like I'm 70. The symptoms are real and palpable but the cause is always unknown and the diagnosis unclear.

I've recently started with therapy and I hope it works.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057982
I started smoking when I was 15. I've tried to quit several times, but I have not succeeded yet.

[Anonymous No.]

The intellectual's sickness since only the self-aware and intellectual can feel sad about itself.

So fuck that shit, I'd rather not be intellectual and feel like a sad sack of shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058374

If you manage to get out of it, chronic depression is a great blessing in the experience and the incentive to change it provides.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058404
I don't get into it, I don't get outta it.

I don't change for the worse or for the better, I remain the same.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057796
You will probably throw up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058168
>I finally went to the doctor recently, but I don't wanna take the serotonin inhibitors they prescribed. I have not researched on them yet, but the concept feels like chemical mutilation of the mind.
You should realize your brain is already fucked up if you have depression.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058970
No need to fuck it up further.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057869
I never hear of people using this to commit suicide so I'm going to assume it doesn't work

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058983
Yeah bro, and if you have hormonal deficiencies you shouldn't take drugs to fix them because it would fuck you up further too, right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058999
Entirely up to one and one's beliefs, correct. Also comparing depression with hormonal deficiencies sounds silly, since mental and belief factors are involved with depression.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059039
Holy shit you're retarded.

> Also comparing depression with hormonal deficiencies sounds silly
If you have no idea what depression is.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059049
And you're seem to enjoy being rude, all knowing saint.
It's entirely possible to overcome serious depression without usage of drugs.

[Anonymous No.]

Hi, is this the appropriate thread to post in saying that I'm miserable before getting back in bed even though there's no way I'll be able to fall asleep?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059072
go away this is the harukasan thread

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058168

This. Also, depression doesn't have a cure; you just learn to live with it.

Depression with social anxiety reporting in. Sometimes I can't even leave the bed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058042
Bitch about semantics all you want, people like to compare your circadian rhythm and much else about your body as "cycles" for a reason. Please make a real argument.

>>14058164
"I'm depressed" is a legitimate argument to partially explain something, but I don't think you should use "depressed" to excuse the entirety of something.

>>14058168
That's very unfortunate, but you're not alone in the severity of your experience. The SSRI might help you enough to function at an acceptable level to get things in your life back on track, and to make any changes that you can. I do believe that you should be OK if you take the SSRI, because if you ever need or want to come off them you can taper down slowly (split pills / dissolve in water) so that withdrawal doesn't make you depressed. I don't pretend to be an expert on SSRIs however. If you like the drug route though, hang in there because there are better drugs on the way.

>>14058321
Exactly why you should try your best not to pick up this habit of smoking.

>>14058374
"Intellectuals" need to be forced or to slowly stop being excessively "intellectual", in a general sense. It's not like you can't switch back to being "intellectual", but it will give you peace in mind from excessive self-awareness. I feel that you can make it if I could.

>>14058428
By simply reading this sentence and being able to reply to it means that changes have happened in your mind, or at least temporarily. Please try to stray from absolutist language and over-rationalizing language if it is a problem for you.

>>14058996
I assume it won't work if you have any will. It will make you very thirsty, and I assume you'll simply drink water if available.

>>14059039
Sure. The mental and the physical are intimately connected, if you even believe that "mental" is a separate phenomenon from "physical".

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059066
Yes, it is possible to overcome serious depression without drugs. Many will relapse however if they haven't made a full recovery, or at least experience bouts of sadness/lack of motivation which is natural for humans.

>>14059137
You simply need to read on the internet about people being "cured" from depression and anxiety to realize that you can "cure" it. Or believe me, for I've "cured" myself of both.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058168
Man up argument is mostly irrelevant, it sounds like you bring it up only as an excuse to get angry at those who say it, just like those to whom it adressed will whine about unjustice and retardation and inject their biased and clouded judment, which will likely end up in a cycle of pissing off each other further, instead of finding precise reason for the problem, the button that is jammed.
Oh woe.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14057830
I don't let her do whatever she wants, actually. I commander her in an authoritative style, but I do have free reign over what she does and doesn't do. Sometimes she's really in the mood to get drunk or high, but I forbid her if I dislike the timing (or, in the case of liquor, feel she's drinking too much). I'm the end, she trusts my judgement over her own and won't throw a fit (at least any more than just pouting and cheek puffing) if I deny her something she wants. It also creates this dynamic where she has to ask my approval for everything and anything, but I usually approve it anyway; but she prefers I screen it first.

Though I'm unsure as to how helpful it is in the end considering she even asks me if she has approval to use the bathroom unless I'm not home. To test her, I denied her request to before and she stood there forgetting in her chair trying her best to hold it without any complaint for about 5 minutes before I granted her permission.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059255
She seems like a very receptive person to control. I will suggest you try and make her more self-sufficient, if you can. When you have someone doing everything for you or making all your choices, you'll be unnecessarily hurt when that someone leaves you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059255
You're making her weaker.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059072
Yes. This is also the thread where I give you a virtual hug.
*hug*

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059195
I think it's natural to be angry when you spend so much time and effort fighting something and then clueless people just come and say it's your fault for not doing enough. I'm not really that bothered because this is what people who don't understand will do, I'm just calling it how I see it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059137
What is he planning on doing with a nonlethal caliber?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059255
Now is the time to make her cosplay 24/7, make her wear a cat collar with a bell and have her walk on all fours at your command. Force her to play videogames with you as 2P, do lewd things to her, make her write "LOVE" on your omurice with ketchup sauce, and use her as a human alarm clock waking you up everyday by shaking you up saying "oniichan, mouu".
This is my dream... I don't even care if it's a boy instead...wait that is actually better.....

[Anonymous No.]

Will i ever be happy annon?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059629
Probably. Just hit it with your butt, anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14058999
That's different because you can test for hormonal deficiencies. You can't accurately assess what's going on with neurotransmitters.

[Anonymous No.]

Are depression or other Mood disorders Genetic?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059255
You are such a normie shit. Can you just leave fuck face?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060163
No. If you were born genetically depressed you would probably be entirely mute and unworkable as a human being. Genetics do predispose you to developing mood disorders, though. You can say though that depression, being so prevalent, probably exists in the gene pool for a reason, so take that however you like.

>>14060190
He seems pretty imbalanced to me from previous posts. Are you jealous he lucked out getting a girl?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059255
Feels like I'm reading my life story word by word (except for the being a girl part). What the hell? Is this common among people with depression?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060217
>He seems pretty imbalanced to me from previous posts. Are you jealous he lucked out getting a girl?

He says he was forced to get a girl he choose to have one becuase he is a normie. If you aren't a virgin then you are a normie. He is a pretender.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14059561
She already does this, except rarely wears nekomimi because we can't find a nice pair that doesn't feel obnoxious or look dumb. The pair we have aren't too great, but we have really cute kitten playpen and kittensightings collars.

She was obsessed with getting a collar after playing Nekopara, and honestly I think it mostly just stems from her fear of having any responsibilities other than the ones I directly present to her.

I'm hesitant to talk about it because it often comes off as gloating, but it honestly isn't something I can even begin to enjoy when I've lost all sense if enjoyment and sacrifice so much for her to live out her personal fantasies. I didn't ask for any of this, I just want to live a life boxed from all contact aside from occasional online interaction and no responsibilities. Instead I take on a ton of responsibilities and sacrifice almost all of my personal time on making her happy. That isn't to say she doesn't dedicate a lot if her time trying to make me happy, she definitely tries a lot, but I pretend to be happy and usually just feel apathetic towards everything at most. I've lived this life for 5 years, I expected her to tire after the first few months of me but I'm apparently the best thing to happen to her.

I was planning to timestamp a picture of her anklecuff chained up but I'll do that next post. She just started crying because another asshat is bullying her on Skype because he refused to send them a picture of herself since she doesn't do that. A lot of her "close" friends seem to just cause her pain when they build up long friendships with her because they can't get in her pants and she's not a camwhore with social media accounts for then to fap to.

Post ending prematurely, I'll timestamp next post but I wanted to respond to other people in the thread as well. Excuse my late responses for maybe two hours or so.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060248
You are just here to brag. Fuck off normie.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060248
Probably best to not talk so much about your girlfriend for now on /jp/ for the purpose of not derailing the thread.

Also, you really do need to fix your own problems if you want to fix hers. It's probably most of the reason you can only pretend to be happy instead of actually being happy for her attempts.
You should send the pictures to my sigaint email above, sexman.

>>14060238
>>14060257
Everyone is close to "normie" in some regard. All humans regardless of how much of a gigantic faggot hipster you are, are 99.X% similar genetically.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060403
>Everyone is close to "normie" in some regard. All humans regardless of how much of a gigantic faggot hipster you are, are 99.X% similar genetically.


This is the stupidest thing I've read in 2015, congratulations anon-kun.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060704
I was honestly just waiting for someone to pick up on my mistake.
99.9% similar depending on how you measure and what you ignore.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/1416706/DNA-survey-finds-all-humans-are-99.9pc-the-same.html

Settle down there, manga-face, I'm not old and stupid yet.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060704
The genetic thing is only an example, albeit poor in some regards. Don't pretend you don't require food, oxygen and take a shit in toilets like a "normie".. Unless you're one of those people who coat themselves in it. The primary point still attempts to stand regardless of cherry-picking and derailing.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14045993
what a faggot

leave anytime

now

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060224
In what sense?

>>14060238
Is that what you're caught up about? I'm still a virgin at 26. She wants to have sex with me but her anxiety, PTSD, and beatings from overly religious parents who associated masturbation with pain because they felt Jesus would prefer a little girl have a bloody nose than satisfy natural urges are enough to make her break down at the thought of doing anything sexual. She struggles with it, but luckily for her I don't pressure her because I don't want it myself (though she doesn't know that I don't want it) and so her only issue is feeling like I somehow am let down by her issues regarding it. That, and she was underage when she first moved in with me anyway, so she was definitely afraid of somehow getting me locked up. Her parents pretty much just handed her over to me, an online stranger they didn't even know, because she was "damned to hell for being an atheist" anyway

My anxiety prevents me from saying "no" to people, she was suicidal and I feared being the catalysts to her end if i denied her, and she met me at my most suicidal point in life so I reasoned I'd just help her with her issues before killing myself anyway.

If you think girls like her are unlikely, take a stroll down to /clg/. They may not be your cup of tea though.

>>14060403
Just tucked her in. I prefer just thinking of her as a pet than a girlfriend considering I'm not into 3d. But I'll stop posting, I didn't expect my post to really get much attention. I just needed to vent somewhere because I don't even have online friends to vent to, and I haven't posted on /jp/ in about 3 years.

I'm just going to silently browse the thread for now, and not even going to continue responding to anything else.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428
>In what sense?
I became excessively attached to a relative after a particularly severe episode years ago. I started living with her as part of my rehabilitation, and she practically took care of me and acted as my parent.

I got ``better'' and even graduated college and got a nice, respectable job, but along the way lost the ability to make decisions for myself. Even now I have to ask for her permission before doing most things, and I would sometimes text or call her in the daytime to ask for permission. Anytime we go out, she has to be the one doing the talking to cashiers etc. Anytime she insists on asking me what I want, I could only ask for the same thing as hers.

I know she's sick of it. I try with what little I can do to devote myself to making her happy, but relapses really gets in the way of things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428
Don't listen to that stupidhead. I think you are OK to post since you are a virgin.
If you want an online friend you can email me at [e-mail]
I am currently struggling really hard myself though.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428
Dude, you're such a fucking faggot bro. Fake truNEET and half normie. Just fuck her right in the pussy and all your problems will be solved. Faggot.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428

Brush her hair! That would be cute.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428
Yeah, a person does need somewhere to receive and send personal information so that people can agree and disagree with it, that's how most humans learn best (when information is directly relatable to themselves). I don't mean to tell you to stop posting in the thread, just that working on your girlfriend isn't as important as working on yourself right now, because a person who doesn't have their shit together will find it difficult to properly help another. When helping yourself, you will naturally carry it over to your girlfriend through your attitude/values/etc.
You do have my email as well as the email of the man above me if you need a friend. When looking for online friends though, they can't physically hurt you (usually) since you're only sending and receiving text, so I suggest trying to contact people that are harder to cognitively relate to (with the exception of situational knowledge).

>>14061626
Yeah. You can't just let people "take care" of everything for you, it's the partial attitude of many baby-boomers who have destroyed an entire generation. This person you're attached to doesn't have all their own issues together, much like the man and his girlfriend above. Good luck, and try to achieve some independence.

>>14061678
Keep struggling, but in the correct manner. It makes it easier.

>>14061687
That may help, and it may not. Either way, people shouldn't trust anyone like yourself who resorts to name-calling instead of making real arguments. Leave, "normie" "bro" "truNEET"... "Faggot".

[Anonymous No.]

this thread only made me feel worse
>tfw everyone is awesome and no hugbox

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062591
You usually need to feel worse for a little bit to feel better. Hug a real person and join in.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428
So that bitch is mooching off of you and she won't even put out? That's fucking hilarious.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061626
Sounds like unrequited love or some bullshit like that. Honestly it must feel pretty awful for you. Get well soon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062756
Many bitches don't want to put out until they have sufficient peace in mind. Otherwise, it's a good way to get a rape accusations.
There's a saying for men as well, "Don't stick your dick in crazy"

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062835
You're right. I just found it funny that she made him his bitch, while she's probably fucking 10 guys behind his back when he's at work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062848
I think that's conspiratorial thinking.

He already explained about her religious parents causing her strongly negative attitude towards sex/masturbation, and her "PTSD" and anxiety. She might have had sexual relationships and/or trauma in the past, though.

[Anonymous No.]

Committing suicide has never been and never will be a bad thing. Anyone who tells you otherwise is fascist or socialist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062884
If you're completely self-centered, sure. However, suicide hurts other people and kills/hurts yourself, especially when you and they both know that there are better options.

Have you ever heard about the golden gate bridge jumper(s) who survived? They realize mid-fall that they made a mistake, have a near-death experience/internal life-review and completely change their outlook on life before hitting the water.

If you kill yourself, I hope you don't do it grasping for life, friend.

[Anonymous No.]

How do I feel happy again?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062902
I find it the opposite, actually. If someone is really suffering and doesn't want to live anymore, it's more selfish on the people who would be hurt keeping that someone who doesn't want to live alive.

If a girl is popular with a lot of guys, but only wants to have one boyfriend, is she selfish for picking the person she really wants to be with despite knowing she'll cause emotional harm and mental anguish to those closer males who want to be with her? Even if she picks someone that most people find an unattractive jerk, when she has "better options" for her?

I never asked to be born. I've thought of suicide since I was 8 and first philosophically pondering my role in life. Life is small, insignificant, and our individual lives are pathetically meaningless. Living beings more suffering than pleasure, and feelings of suffering are more intense than those small moments of pleasure in top of that; so, I argue that life is more of a negative experience than a positive one. Therefore, I do not with to live. However, I understand that others depend on me and don't want me gone, and my empathy barricades me from departing. I know it won't be "my" problem, that when I die I will have no feelings anymore so don't have to worry about the mark I leave behind, but while I am alive I still very much have those feelings, so I can't just jump into it.

In the end, I feel torn. I don't want to live, in any sense, but I loathe those who few who have love left for me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062756
He doesn't like her, so what does it matter? She's his pet and obediently does everything he tells her to do. You don't let your cat mooch off you to fuck it, do you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062975
Obligatory.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062902
>suicide hurts other people and kills/hurts yourself
never understood this anti-suicide bullying

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062947
That's a broad question, so I'll answer in a broad fashion. Become happy by making repeat attempts at forcing yourself deserve it.

>>14062958
Yes, sometimes suicide is the answer, which is why it's legalized in some locations for people who literally have no other choice. However, you and almost every suicidal person still has many choices left, even if that's inducing a near-death experience through non-lethal doses of drugs or events. A person who is older than 13 has already had a very large effort (though sometimes misguided) put into them, and it's perceived by society as a sad waste/event to have them kill themselves.

As for your girl example, yes, she is selfish, but so is everyone else. If the person she chose does not want her, it's not like she's forcing herself on that person. People need to make their own decisions that are right for themselves and others, and only then should we be able to coexist without conflict. Sorry if I'm getting too mushy for /jp/

It's unfortunate that you've thought of suicide since you were 8, but you're not alone in that regard. However, on the bright side, people like you tend to introvert a lot and be very valuable to themselves and society when they bring what they learned to the table after defeating their problems (with help).

Life is small and insignificant, but so is anything if you're thinking in relativistic terms, relative to the concept of "everything" or "infinity". However, you are who you are right now in this point in time, and everything (to you) is relevant to you. Please try to make the best of it with us, because rest assured, it won't last long.

>>14062983
It's hard to understand how hard suicide is on others if you're already emotionally blunted.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14060403
>>14060248
Get out of /jp/


>>14062902
> suicide hurts other people
>you should care about other people's feelings before your own
No. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062994
I did not say you should care about other people's feelings over your own. Don't put words in my mouth.

>>>/b/

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062990
>A person who is older than 13 has already had a very large effort (though sometimes misguided) put into them, and it's perceived by society as a sad waste/event to have them kill themselves.
Yeah, someone's gotta sweep the streets.

Protip: "the society" does not give a shit about you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063006
Yes, "the society" gives little shit about you, unless they become directly aware of your existence. They don't generally however give /absolutely/ no shit about you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063011
>unless they become directly aware of your existence
And then they proceed to give you "advice" like "Just be yourself" and pat themselves on the back for doing a good deed.

You realize that people only pretend they care to feel better about themselves/look better to their friends. Right?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063037
Yes, I realize this. I think we both realize that most of society is fucked up, albeit differently than those of us on /jp/.
The sort of people you talk about are highly prevalent in society, it would be impossible for me (personally) not to notice them. Don't believe most people, including the media.

I believe my points still stand.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062902
>hurts
>better options
look at this shill

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063067
Shilling for who? Who do you think I am? Are you a conspiracy theorist? Why do you dismiss my points based on my possible background, rather than for what they are?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062958
This guy gets it. Being dead is a 0, and if your life is negative, going to 0 is a positive improvement.
Some rich capitalists have positive lives through hurting other people, but otherwise, suicide is to many people's advantage.
But evil capitalists, religious people, and statists want consumers and workers to live, thus discouraging suicide.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063094
Going to 1 is also a positive improvement.

Rich capitalists are full of themselves, they can only gain so much power until they're forced to enter either fantasy (thus losing power) or kill themselves out of shame/loss of respect.

I would never tell someone to live to become a capitalist, religious person, or true "satanist".

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063113
Capitalists don't lose power though, because money is a powerful weapon.
Capitalism is in control, and they will always fight against suicide until we make sure all capitalists are dead. Anyone with over a million dollars is pure evil.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063113
I misread statist as satanist. I watched a funny satanist video earlier today.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063117
What happens when you have power? You get used to it, and you desire more. Picture related. You can't equate power to money then say capitalists don't lose power, because they spend money all the time.

Just because capitalists fight against suicide because it's in their best intentions, doesn't mean that suicide is right. If you want to really defeat capitalists, don't follow their false ideology, and help others do the same if it's what you desire.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063117
Do you know the story of the Buddha? He was said to be a powerful rich man with everything he wanted, but such happiness doesn't last forever.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063145
I've already mentioned before, religious people are beta cucks.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063117
Bill Gates has over a million dollars.

He realized though that dedicating his life to spending this money in ways he deems in good faith was his best choice.

>>14063176
Buddhism is a non-theistic religion. Besides, knowing about religious figures does not make you a cuck, it makes you capable of defeating cucks with their own knowledge.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063186
Bill Gates is evil, when did anyone ever say he wasn't?
I know that Buddhism is an atheist religion: I don't need to be spoonfed, unlike you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063205
Bill Gates was quite evil, but he has since gotten strongly into philanthropy.

Where exactly have you spoodfed me during this thread?
On the contrary, here's some spoonfeeding for you:

"Buddha is recognized by Buddhists as an awakened or enlightened teacher who shared his insights to help sentient beings end their suffering through the elimination of ignorance and craving. Buddhists believe that this is accomplished through the direct understanding and perception of dependent origination"
Take it however you like, I'm not even Buddhist.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063218
>was
is*
>elimination of craving
Becoming betas who don't believe they have value*

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063229
I used the word "quite" for a reason. Now you use absolutist language like "is". Go away.

>Becoming betas who don't believe they have value*
Stop making shit up, that wasn't even implied. Go back to your realm/crossie board, silly demon!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14062990
For the little girl example, I can get behind that. Everyone is selfish in their own merit; I just dislike only the person commuting suicide being the only one to be called out on their selfishness.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063454
That's understandable.

I only call out the suicidal because if they really had (absolutely) nothing left to live for (eg: terminally ill and suffering), they shouldn't be here spreading their ideology. However, I don't just call out the suicidal, I also call out the happy but ignorant like >>14063229 >>14051963

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063550
Oh who will call out the one who calls out others, I wonder?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063599
Hopefully anyone who reads my call-outs. If I make mistakes I want to know.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063607
.. Though I wouldn't call what I'm doing "calling out", as the phrase has negative connotations. I don't feel any negative emotions when typing in this thread, even when typing negatively to deflect negativity, if you know what I mean.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14061428
PTSD? What war did she fight in?

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063708
It's called PTSD now and not shell-shock because you don't need to be in a war to be traumatized, especially if your environment turned you into a sensitive snowflake.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063965
Shell-shock and PTSD are two different things.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063967
"The concept of stress-induced mental disorder was already known since at least the 19th century, and had been referred to previously under various terms including "soldier's heart", "shell shock" and "battle fatigue"."

Yes, but not exactly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14063176
>I've already mentioned before, religious people are beta cucks.
This is the level of the average /jp/ poster nowadays? Are you 15?
I'm not even religious.

[Anonymous No.]

>Society just wants me to be a weak minded thrall contributing to an economic system that gives zero shits about me for next to nothing and everyone trying to sugar coat this fact is either a shill for capitalism, statism or religion.
I've known this for a very long time, but every time I am reminded of it I get even more sad and lonely. Hold me /jp/, just this once.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064343

https://youtu.be/ADVBZtHvURM

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064343
Don't underestimate humans!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14003880
Give her some stimulants! Give her the cure!

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064443
Those can make you go crazy as much as they can make you go sane. Please use responsibly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064397
>>14064343
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gnpCqsXE8g

[Anonymous No.]

anyone here smoke crack

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064455
What do you mean?

[Anonymous No.]

I can't shake the feeling that I'm an idiot. The current me is almost completely useless. There was a time in my life when I was certifiably above-average, but that was ages ago. Even then, it was just on paper. Now, my mind has atrophied into just about nothing. I pride myself as a sort of information junkie, but I can no longer process information at the rate and depth to which I feel accustomed. It makes learning very difficult. I feel half retarded whenever it comes to learning something new. I used to be a very fast learner, picking up new things with ease. Now even things I know (or feel like I know) are hazy to me. I can't even do basic maths any more. This is one of the main things that gets to me. This is what makes me feel like I suck at everything I try. At this point in my life, I know I am more or less a clean slate. I could start over, but instead of starting over from zero, I feel like I've been knocked all the way back to negative three. A point each for my lack of mental fortitude, low self image, and low energy. If I want to get anywhere at all, I have to overcome those three things as well as any other inevitable obstacle that will fall in my way. It's all so daunting that it often discourages me from doing anything at all, but of course that makes me feel even worse, which further saps away any energy and motivation that I might have had.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064695
Same.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064643
A really shitty drug. The high is short, the come down is rough, and it usually doesn't give you enough time to form useful habits.

>>14064676
It's a potent central nervous system stimulant. Essentially amphetamine. Thought to release monoamines and prevent their re-uptake. If you're already stimulated, they can make you stare at walls for hours. If you're schizophrenic they can contribute to a psychotic break. If you're understimulated, they can help, but shouldn't be relied on forever, and instead you should form good habits on it to be used without the amphetamine.

>>14064695
It sounds like you're having a hard time forgiving yourself, though that might sound sappy. Please take it one step at a time to better, you don't need to overcome everything at once if it's too daunting. If you fear that your brain is atrophied like you suggest, here's an uplifting wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrocephalus
People with hardly any physical brain at all can perform above-average. Please try to treat your problems as a mental block as much as it is a physical one, if that helps. Also, in my opinion, you may want to avoid idolizing your past-self too much, as you likely had flaws which caused this, and you'll likely realize this if you overcome your depression.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064786
That was a pretty interesting article. I do try to keep my thinking in the present however I can.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064343
I'm glad someone here actually realises what the truth is.
Thank you for helping me regain my trust in /jp/.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14064695
This.
Before high school, I was at my prime.
High school taking away all my free time by forcing me to do homework made me inferior.
Without free time, I was unable to do activities that had made me above-average before middle school.
This may or may not be an intentional effect of schools on children. Don't have children, as they'd never consent to this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14065479
Being in the present is a good thing to be much of the time, unless you need otherwise. I assume this is especially the case for you.

>>14065510
It's possible to generalize that for society, but there are a lot of people who can think they care about you personally, and whether they actually do or not the result is the same. I personally don't want you to be a weak minded thrall only contributing to a system that benefits me, at least not to my knowledge. Good luck.

>>14065561
Yeah, schooling done wrong can ruin certain kids in a really bad way. The worst thing is, the people who make the school systems themselves are not the ones teaching in it. There's a large disconnect in some countries. I don't think it's an intentional effect, as there seems to be very few people who will admit to themselves that what they're doing is bad.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14065510
We are fewer in number, but we are still here anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14065610
*What they're doing is bad, in general

[Anonymous No.]

>>14038043
Thank you dude

[Anonymous No.]

>>14044839
I was afraid to take SSRIs because of this but now I'm taking them and I'm super horny and rock hard it's the best. I feel a burning sensation when I cum, the orgasms are stronger. It seems to have that effect on some people and I got lucky.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067195
Why are you happy about this? The effects of porn and/or masturbation addiction only worsen depression.

[Anonymous No.]

>>14067195
SSRI effects (and for drugs in general) can be predictable like that. Whatever effects they have, they can have the opposite. It's called a paradoxical reaction.

It's fun to explore at first, so I certainly don't condemn you, but don't over-concern yourself with masturbation. Try to use the energy it gives you to build better habits that actually build your life back up again, while you can. Drug effects don't last forever, but the habits you build on them can last for a very long time.