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/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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1247234 No.1247234 [Reply] [Original]

If Touhous took over the world would you welcome our new funny hat wearing overlords? Or fight bitterly to the death for the glory of man?

>> No.1247254

Theyd lose, wed disobey the rules of danmaku and use real guns...LOL SCIENCE!

>> No.1247256

For the emprah

>> No.1247262

>>1247256
why is /jp/ always like "emprah!" shouldn't they be like "greater good!"??

>> No.1247258

Touhous are 3D now?

>> No.1247261

>>1247254

If we cheat, they cheat. And their guns are bigger.

I would swear fealty to Lady Flandre of the Divine Madness, Sister of the Scarlet Devil. And make her tea.

>> No.1247264

I would collaborate and personally pick people out for the danmaku practice range camps.

>> No.1247269

>>1247262
What are you? hoofed space communist?

>> No.1247273

I will make mirror chainmail because everybody knows that mirrors have the power to reflect magic spells.

>> No.1247278

>>1247261
Then half of /jp/ somewhere around half of 2chan, and all the shmup players in the world would have to save us...GRAZE GRAZE BOMB BOMB SPELLCARD TANK BOMB LOL TRAIN BOMB WTF IS THAT SHIT BOMB O-SHI- LAST SPELL GRAZE BOMB ect depending on whos shooting who...

>> No.1247284

Fight bitterly, but who said we'd lose?

>> No.1247286
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1247286

I would find Aya, swear my eternal loyalty to her and then sex up her cute doggie on the side.

>> No.1247289

>>1247261

I would join you in your most assuredly suicidal oath.

>> No.1247290

>>1247286

Overlords don't work that way.

You would be the dog. You'd be neutered.

>> No.1247296

Fighting to win is not important.
What it is important is the dignity you fight with, even when the battle is already lost.
That being said, which one of the lolis with silly hats will die first?

>> No.1247301

My mortal coil shall be a tool for my new touhou overlords to do as they see fit. Turn me into a living bomb or change me to a form where if I die, millions of danmaku shots come out from my body. My life for GENSOKYO!

>> No.1247302

Is rape allowed like in other wars?

>> No.1247306

Reimu would stop the invasion, then kill the human collaborators.

>> No.1247310

>>1247296
cirno...

>> No.1247314
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1247314

>>1247290
Just as long as I get to be around Aya and Momiji I could care less.

>> No.1247320

>>1247306

As a human collaborator could I avoid such a fate by offering her a donation?

>> No.1247323

>why is /jp/ always like "emprah!"

Because The Emperor is actually a moe little girl inside that golden armour

/r/ that picture of the moe moe Emperor going "f...for me?"

>> No.1247332
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1247332

I would suit up, lock and load and face my doom like a man.

>> No.1247355
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1247355

>>1247306
and yukari would watch for the lulz,heres a crino diagram...

>> No.1247360

>>1247306
I would use my hacking skills to root their websites

>> No.1247361

REMEMBER THE BATTLE OF 1969

>> No.1247381

We'll just find ZUN, cage him, deny him for beer for a month, then airdrop him over the Touhous

His wrath falls from the heavens

>> No.1247393
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1247393

>>1247256
>>1247323
Ah, the God-Empress of Mankind, Hakurei, the Shrine Maiden who led Humanity to victory against the galaxy and who now sits on the Golden Throne on holy Gensokyo, the planet from which all humanity has arisen. Youkai shrivel from the thought of her, and Xenos races still remember her great purges in the name of humanity.

>> No.1247409

If I put a baseball cap on, I will be an original Touhou.

>> No.1247425
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1247425

I for one welcome the new Yakumo royalty.

>> No.1247450

>>1247425
Judging from the games yukumo/hakurie/marisa/alice/ect.=human side to some extent...

>> No.1247456
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1247456

>>1247450

Yukari is on Yukari's side.

Yukari likes Gensokyo.

Therefore, she does what she can to keep it stable.

Whether she would have the same opinion of the real world is uncertain.

Regardless, I'm on her side.

>> No.1247460
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1247460

>>1247425
>I for one welcome the new Yakumo royalty.

>> No.1247467
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1247467

>>1247456
makes sense to me. for some reason, why does such an idea, seem like it would make somewhat/ however barebone though, would make a good touhou anime....

>> No.1247480

>>1247450
I would enjoy

>> No.1247484

i will give all of my money to reimu in exchange for a place in her court and then make myself her goto guy for taking care of unsavory things such as murdering and assinating, and i shall live eternally in contentment at the feet of my loli master thriving only to do her every bidding no matter what the cost to my self or those i formerly cared for.

>> No.1247492

Yukari = True Neutral

>> No.1247493
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1247493

Seriously. Yukari can be on my side all she wants.

Especially if she brings Ran with her.

>> No.1247505
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1247505

>>1247484

Reimu's not a loli, sorry.

She just binds.

>> No.1247504

>>1247409
You need a silly hat...

>> No.1247509

I could just see anon at Yukari's feet, trying to become her servant while she's saying something profound like

"I am not asking for blood, I can take your blood"
"I am asking for souls, only you can give me your soul"

>> No.1247511

>>1247484
It's Sikieiki's court.

I would hang out with Suika for a while and then I'll punch the sun.

>> No.1247512

>>1247505
riemu recently escaped her loli heritage

>> No.1247518

I'd welcome them and find a way to make myself useful, thus not be eaten.

>> No.1247537
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1247537

>>1247518
Is that so~

>> No.1247538
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1247538

>>1247512

Really, it's unlikely she's really ever counted as a loli past Embodiment of Scarlet Devil, since one can reasonably guess that she's 12 or 13 at the *youngest* in that game.

Which means that by Subterranean Animism(after a bit of working it out, since there's around five years between EoSD and SA), she'd be at least 16 or 17, and more likely 18 or 19.

Raymoo's not an eternal loli like the youkai.

>> No.1247543

I would ask "Hey, want to play this game called Touhou?"

>> No.1247559

>>1247543
Best last words or bestest last word?

>> No.1247562

Shit, I missed a hitbox.

>> No.1247566

>>1247543

Bad idea. What if they like it and go searching for more only to stumble across all that Touhou hentai?

>> No.1247574

>>1247538
Time doesn't pass between the games, at least not canonically.

>> No.1247579
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1247579

Beware of the rabbits.

>> No.1247589

>>1247566
not if you didnt draw it/ worship it..

>> No.1247593
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1247593

I'd look for Keine. She'll protect me ;__;

>> No.1247596

>>1247589
>not if you didnt worship it..
From what I've seen, /jp/ sure as hell has a good chance of having that slide by, am I right?

>> No.1247597

>>1247574
Yes it does.
http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Gensokyo

>> No.1247604

>>1247596
/jp/ shouldn't fap to touhou, ZUN doesnt want you to, so don't bother him about it.

>> No.1247614

>>1247604

ZUN faps to Touhou futa.

>> No.1247619

>>1247604
>/jp/ shouldn't fap to touhou

THEN WHAT ARE WE GONNA SUPPOSED TO DO?

>> No.1247620

>>1247614
I hear it's very hard to fap to your own characters
I'm told it feels like you're faping to your own daughter

>> No.1247626

>>1247538

I have heard that theory that the PC-98 Reimu was supposed to be a different person, maybe current Reimu's mother. So that might make sense.

>> No.1247627

armaggedddon

>> No.1247629

>>1247619
I DUNNO PLAY THE GAMES or is there not reason why ZUN didn't make them /h/ games. Inb4 b/c of shitty art.

>> No.1247642

>>1247620
that never stopped daddy ...

>> No.1247647

I'm a pretty big Touhoufag but I'd fight to the death for mankind.

>> No.1247652

Fight them. With my hands.

>> No.1247659

I do not fap to Ran because I got friend-zoned by her, and I know she would be upset if she knew I still haven't gotten over her yet. It is okay because I still get to talk to her every day and she is a good friend.

>> No.1247664
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1247664

I would become a follower of Kanako and Suwako, as they truly knew what's best for society,

>> No.1247667
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1247667

>>1247659

>> No.1247723
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1247723

>> No.1247729

>>1247664

A mix of healthy and dfc?

>> No.1247740

Inb4 THE ULTIMATE TOUHOU DOOMSDAY SCENARIO copypasta

>> No.1247749
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1247749

>>1247664
I agree with this young man! Kanaka and Sumako might just have something in their nuclear power schemes!

>> No.1247754

>>1247659
Que.

>> No.1247755
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1247755

>>1247234
I decide to just fuck over everybody.

>> No.1247763
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1247763

>>1247749

>> No.1247767

>>1247626
No, it's just retconned.

>>1247505
If you mean she's not a small child, then you're correct.

But that's not why she binds. The answer is gap.

>> No.1247765

>>1247755
By... waking Cthulhu?
You know Yuyuko is just going to eat him righ?

>> No.1247781

>>1247765
I loved that doujin.

>> No.1247790

>>1247765
Yuyuko would be tentacle raped for eternity by his underlings. She has no hope of combating him.

>> No.1247797
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1247797

>>1247790
It's okay. She's into that.

>> No.1247798
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1247798

>> No.1247826

>>1247797

Not my ass!

>> No.1247844
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1247844

>>1247798
Makes sense. Suwako is by far the most terrifying thing in Gensokyo.

>> No.1247862

>>1247790

Are you serious? All she has to do is a ram a boat into him. Touhous regularly survive being blown up, stabbed, and fucking *nuked*, and according to ZUN, the extra lives represent 'guts' or some shit like that. They just tough that shit out.

Also, Yuyuko doesn't seem to be affected by insanity-inducing effects, or at least she wasn't in IN, so any battle with C'thulhu would be a purely physical confrontation. Even if he's immune to her deathhax, she still has the phantom butterflies.

>> No.1247870
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1247870

>>1247862
But Yuyuko's just some air-headed bimbo, so yeah.

The only thing she's good for is having a cold pair of tits to slide your dick between. But even there, Komachi is better and warmer.

>> No.1247875
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1247875

In Gensokyo, Yuyuko rapes tentacle monster.

>> No.1247886

>>1247870 But Yuyuko's just some air-headed bimbo, so yeah. The only thing she's good for is having a cold pair of tits to slide your dick between.

I wish I could hate you to death. When the Gensokyovolution comes, you'll be first against the wall.

>> No.1247907
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1247907

Any resistance would be futile. They would let Flandre out of her room, pointing at us and telling her "We bought you a whole pile of new toys but these mean people over there stole them".

>> No.1247912

>>1247907
>Any resistance would be futile. They would let Flandre out of her room, pointing at us and telling her "Look Flan, new toys!"

>> No.1247922

>>1247875
sauce?

>> No.1247943
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1247943

>>1247886
What are you gonna do, fuck me in the ass?

>> No.1247947

>>1247870

I will personally execute you to placate our new overlords

>> No.1247959

>>1247947
To bad our new overlords will be the god emperor and hell execute you for fqaping to mutants.

>> No.1247962
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1247962

I'd run off with fanon Alice.

>> No.1247975
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1247975

I think I would be the Flay to Parsee's Kira, and use her as a weapon to kill the weaker enemies, before sending her to her doom against a stronger foe. I would then kill Parsee to gain favor with who she was fighting.

Repeat until victory.

>> No.1247976

I'd find Tenshi, and proceed to taunt, insult, and repeatedly slap her.

Either I will have a swift and brutal death getting bludgeoned to death by a large rock, or I will have myself a lovely masochistic Celestial waifu.

>> No.1248088
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1248088

>>1247976

>> No.1248116

>>1247278
The only country to survive the danmaku war will be Japan.

Though the 1% of /jp/ that plays touhou may be spared for their awesome skills and forced to mate. As they have giant western penises.

>> No.1248146
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1248146

>>1247262
For the God Emperor!

>>
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