/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Yukkuri are horrible abominations that should be destroyed on sight.

Prove me incorrect.

[Anonymous No.]

You have been permanently banned from /jp/ for:

Prove me wrong... bullshit.

This ban will not expire.

You may not appeal this ban.

[Anonymous No.]

Why?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157520

Does this phrase trigger an autoban or something? Because I got this message (albeit with a shorter duration) like three seconds after I made a thread once.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157527
Think it depends on the board. I know it's an autoban on /v/, along with a few other phrases.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157532
/a/ needs a ban on any variation of the word "geass", although that's never going to happen now.

[Anonymous No.]

I believe I said this in a suspiciously similar thread on Pooshlmer, but yeah, if you take a whimsical cartoon creature and try and try to take it seriously, the results are usually pretty abominable. If you take Kirby or a Care Bear or half the Pokémon and approach them as a serious biologist, the results are pretty horrifying.

No one plays a Kirby game and sits there lamenting the impact on the ecosystem caused by his rampant consumtion, at least not as more than a one-off joke. The real question is, why are you choosing to imagine these absurd cartoonish touhou heads as having a semi-realistic physics and biology? Why not just take it easy?

Why so serious?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157550
Because we give these monsters what they want!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157550
> No one plays a Kirby game.
Fixed.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157550
Because it's funny as hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157564

Ah, but it is you who made them into monsters and then gave them these wants in the first place.

>>1157566

Kirby Super Star would like a word with you.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't see what's horrible about them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157593

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157597
I'm sure you'd look pleasant if I tore your face off.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157593
Most of them are fine. It's the Remiryas that are horrible.

[Anonymous No.]

Yukkuris were so much fucking better when they were just some bizarre entity flying in the sky, or smashing into the earth as a meteor, or weird creative shit like that, maybe little jokes like this. (The Bikkuri! one was pretty great too)

But now everyone faggot's given them an ecosystem and behavior and completely sucked the fun out of them. Was it the Makako comics that did it? was he the first? His comics are still the best, by the way.

[Anonymous No.]

Fucking WWF yukkuri lovers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157510

I agree.

[Anonymous No.]

They're so cute. I don't get why people want to abuse them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157651

I used to ponder this, but the answer is really pretty obvious. It was on the wiki the whole time.

It's the bullying Misters. They're bullies. They're deal with their insecurities by trying to make others suffer, be they imaginary Touhou heads, or the people who dislike guro that they troll.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157625
Oh man, that is TOO cute!

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157730
I'd say yukkuris are more fucked up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157625

take it easy

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157625
Yes, it's mostly Makako's fault. It all started with that one strip where Reimu comes home and finds the yukkuri eating her crackers, then scolds it, then hugs it. Makako's crying faces were so cute, they sent the whole yukkuri thing skyrocketing in popularity.

[Anonymous No.]

Jissous are the abomination, Yukkuris are at least a little more tolerable. A LITTLE.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157791

Sounds about right. I had that image saved in my Touhou folder as "Reimu head adventures", so I clearly didn't know what a 'yukkuri' was at the time. I just found it cute/amusing.

So were the early incidents of abuse just attempts at dark humor, or were they attempts to troll the fans of this strangely popular new comic meme-thing? I'm guessing it was some of both. I know the Waterducts are rife with people taking Makako and Tennkoma's work and trying to edit them into bad ends.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157863
Cheek pinching wasn't enough.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157625
I hated them all along. Along with every other abominable meme from Touhou's abominable fanbase. Games are fine, fans suck. Go play some kodomo-h porn games.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157913

If that was, in any way, a logical progression, our Aunts and Grandparents would have killed us all before we made it out of Kindergarten.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157960
Yeah, you might pinch the cheeks of someone you think is cute. You wouldn't beat the shit out of them or horribly mutilate them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157998

Now that I think back... Yes. But I was no weeaboo back then. Our parents didn't push japanese customs onto us since they hate Japan (oh the irony), and in western pop culture like cartoons and such, younger sisters are always portrayed as little bitches so I didn't know any better. My imouto fetish is something that kicked in very, very late.

>>1158010

Calling her right out of the blue and say "hey, I was wondering... Could you call me oniichan, if only for this moment so I can hear it?" would be either very disturbing or very adorable.

[Anonymous No.]

well, this seems old, but it's the first time I see it

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157853
source?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158291
...

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158291
http://www.google.com/search?q=no-no+big+brother+stickers

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158649
Is the translation for this yukkuri thing:

>"when you're available, let's do it easy."
>Even the Marisa-type is a pimp (ze).

It's a rough translation, so I'm not sure if it's right. Also, I'm not sure how to fit that into the bubbles if it's even correct.

[Anonymous No.]

Yuyuko Yukkuris. Yukkuris that exterminate other yukkuris. They're not so bad.

[Anonymous No.]

What would YOU do?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158747
Scream, surprising the Yukkurisa so that the birth canal constricts, crushing the koyukkuri. Then leave it for the Alice-type.

[Anonymous No.]

I wouldn't really bully a yukkuri.
Their attitude is extremely annoying, but some children are like that, too, and nobody wants to mutilate them.
It is their inhuman faces and their superiority expressions the things that make me want to punch them, if only to change that expression.
But the Remiryas, however, are a different case. I would immediately kill every single one.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm editing something and it has this "gyosh" sound effect while someone is closing a lid on a yukkuri. What the heck does that mean?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158747
Foot to baby.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158814
Too simple.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158801
>But the Remiryas, however, are a different case. I would immediately sex every single one.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158826
Oh really, would you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158823
But effective. Still, what >>1158796 said.
Then, squish them both

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158826
Hmm?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157510
Who turned the "zdooooob" into "stooooop"?

[Hiroyuki !w6Optpc/jk No.]

>>1158857
WHY IS SHE COMPLAINING

[Anonymous No.]

Hope this one makes sense.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158826
Also works. With sufficiently large (ad I mean LARGE) quantities of rape, a Remirya may be turned into a respectable pet.
Failing that, it is a food supply

[Anonymous No.]

Has anyone else just gotten bored with yukkuris? I don't even bother to read the summaries anymore. I even have a half-finished story that I don't care to complete. It feels like a one-off joke that just went on far too long. And summary anon delivering a fresh batch of summaries used to feel like fucking santa claus on christmas morning to me.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158801
Comparing yukkuris to children is a false analogy. They are vermin. I would kill them like a rat that tried to eat my food or an insect buzzing around my head. I wouldn't waste my time torturing them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1157625
>Yukkuris were so much fucking better when they were just some bizarre entity flying in the sky, or smashing into the earth as a meteor, or weird creative shit like that, maybe little jokes like this. (The Bikkuri! one was pretty great too)

So true, so true. But if Internet can ruin a good thing, it will.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158911
>Has anyone else just gotten bored with yukkuris?

Of course. They're just a retread of the Jissouseki spam after all, we have all seen this before. The only new thing is that some of the guro is in text form.

[Anonymous No.]

Yukkuri were never funny.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158911
You obviously haven't, since you still visit yukkuri threads.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't get all the Remirya hate. I see nothing wrong with >>1158862.
>>1158913
>rape
no

[Anonymous No.]

First time I tried to make a font border in GIMP. Hopefully it turned out right.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158997
They search their surroundings for food. If they find sweets, they eat them. If they find anything that isn't sweet, they throw it on the ground or in the nearest toilet. Sakuya protects them, so they go unpunished for this, usually eating or throwing away all of Meiling's food.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158997
They'll do anything for pudding, much like how yukkuris will do anything to save their accessories.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159135
And the consequence.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158984

Because hitting quick reply is so hard right

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159121
It also results in this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159121
It's not that hard to get around that. For saying you all love kids you sure have no idea how to handle them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159164
Try and get around this!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159173
Change her diaper? Aerosol spray?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159164
Children learn. Children also aren't protected from reasonable punishment by a knife-wielding sociopath who will stop you from even telling them they're doing something wrong.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159181

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159181
Man, look at this thing!

What a menace.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159164
Most kids are more intelligent, learn faster and are less fragile than Remiryas.
Not to mention most kids will not forget a hard learned lesson: tell a kid fire is dangerous. They will not truly understand it until they get something burned.
Tell a Remirya fire is dangerous. It will get something burned and it will still not understand.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159178
>Sakuya blah blah
Don't be a faggot? Sakuya only cares about her own Remirya, and honestly, I'd spoil it more than she does.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159190
It farts nerve gas.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159203
If you tell a kid not to fuck around with expensive pieces, are you still going to leave them laying about? No.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159215
What do you do when it eats the babies of the other Yukkuris, or eats it's own babies in a feeding-frenzy?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159187

Oh wow, I lol'd

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159227
Nothing? Animals eat other animals in the wild, you know!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159143
Yes. It still takes up your time. If you were honestly sick of them you'd just hide the thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159223
But this is fire. How are you going to hide fire? And, Remiryas are deliberately cruel to other yukkuris to make them sweeter to eat. You can't compare children to yukkuris if they don't eat and hunt each other.

Remiryas can be trained according to one of Summary Anon's stories, but they forget everything after giving birth.

[Anonymous No.]

Is this one translated yet?

[Anonymous No.]

Currently off the current topic, but here's the edit for the translation from the last thread. Kind of disturbing...

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159249
Nope, not yet.

This comic inspires a little pity, but Remirya did get what it deserved.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159215
The Remirya will escape, someone will find it and BOOM!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159240
Most people don't regularly use pure flames in developed nations.
>>1159223

>Remiryas are deliberately cruel to other yukkuris
Wild animals; don't care

>You can't compare children to yukkuris if they don't eat and hunt each other.
Lord of the Flies.
But no. They're not kids; you missed the point of what I was saying >>1159223

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159263
>Most people don't regularly use pure flames in developed nations.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159234
And perhaps that is why we hate them so much. The true horror of the animal kingdom, given a human voice and face.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159240
Most people don't regularly use pure flames in
developed nations.

>Remiryas are deliberately cruel to other yukkuris
Wild animals; don't care

>You can't compare children to yukkuris if they don't eat and hunt each other.
Lord of the Flies.
But yeah, they're not kids; you missed the point of what I was saying >>1159223

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159268
I swear you have reading comprehension issues. A range =/= Flames. I highly doubt a yukkuri would just up and cook itself on a range.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159273

Yukkuris are about as intelligent as you, which is to say, yeah, they would.

[Anonymous No.]

holy shit, THOUGHTCRIME

y so srs, moralfags? gb2/raping your JUUHASSAI loli not-blood-related imouto and stepmom

[Anonymous No.]

Eating is one thing, yukkurisas, Remiryas and other "predators" are deliberately cruel.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159290
Wrong thread?

>>1159284
I hope you never babysit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159273

Horrible example, but I might as well post it for kicks. This Yukkureimu doesn't even realize it's in a microwave. And I always thought gas kitchen ranges used flames. I dunno, lol.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159267
There is a serious problem here. First you excuse it as an animal, then as a child. That's why they're so horrible. They can be one, or the other. As animal we would excuse its cruel nature, but keep it under control. As a child, we would allow it the freedom to explore and grow, but hold it to higher standards of behavior.

They do not learn, they cannot be controlled with anything but the stick. They break the (addmittedly man-made) moral rules on both the 'child' and 'animal' counts.

[Anonymous No.]

Discussion is getting a little too deep for me. Here's some Alice.

[Anonymous No.]

Innocent creatures.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158571
How many stickers are there?

[Anonymous No.]

Sakuranononono art.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

This looks familiar.

[Anonymous No.]

This yukkuri looks like a pail.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159311
Exactly. Alice-types gang rape for pleasure. Do you excuse them as animal, or punish them because they're entirely aware of what they do?

[Anonymous No.]

Deceivers.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159333
d'awwww

[Anonymous No.]

Did you ever think the only reason yukkuri are horrible monsters is because people have written them to be horrible monsters?

[Anonymous No.]

Yukkuris walk (bounce?) the line between animals and humans.
Establishing realistic laws and rights for them would be a nightmare.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159342
Well duh. It makes people feel uncomfortable by playing on those ideas. That's the point.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159292
>Wrong thread?

just noting how fantasy incest and babyfuck is awwwright but dicking around with fantasy bags of magical beanpaste gets the PETA on your case

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159306
>>1159267
>But yeah, they're not kids...

>>1159332
That would be a decision for the yukkuri's owner to decide.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159346
Well, it's all fiction anyway, so I reject the ideas that I don't like.
There is no "right".

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159342
People actually think that? They're just meat-buns. I guess it's because they can talk.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159321
Is this some FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKkuri?

Sorry, that was a bad coinage. Had to do it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159354
What if they are wild yukkuris? You can kill them, and not only will nobody care, you may save some yukkuris from death by rape.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159293
To be fair, the real Flandre would probably have fun doing that too.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159372
RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159392
Do people care if you go around killing kittens?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159392
Ztob id! ZAGUYAAAAA!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159469
I take it Sakuya's doing the raping?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159420
Font looks a little ASPECT RATIO.

[Anonymous No.]

OP is correct.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159489
Actually Sakuya-type Yukkuris fanatically protect Remiryas. Unless the Remirya acts in any way that the Sakuya-type doesn't like, in which case the Sakuya-type rips it apart in anger.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159489
elb me Zakuya! dese beebol are mean! leab remirya alone.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159309
If it had the personality of fanon Alice, I would take care of and love it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159529
>people
Now we're getting somewhere!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159569
Half of them are lonely and aloof. "Alice is from the city! You're all country bumpkins!"
The other half are rape machines. "Marisa! You know you want it really!" followed by "Marisa that doesn't feel good gets punished!" Then it crushes the Yukkurisa it just raped.

[Anonymous No.]

Besides the obvious Yu-ing, what's Yukkurisa saying?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159634
Gensokyo-ese is ok.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159594
Ztob bean mean do me! Remirya iz an elgand beebol. jut ub!

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159693
Now you just ruined it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159650
If that's the real translation, is that Marisa or Yukkurisa? God damn perspective.

[Anonymous No.]

>Alice-types rely on other yukkuris to reproduce. They gain the trust of a pre-existing yukkuri village and secretly kill off the children. Then, the remaining yukkuris of the village are gangraped until they die from giving birth to more Alice-types. They seem to be able to control the type of offspring that their victims give birth to(ie only koyukkuris of the same species as the mother are born). This allows them to rape for pleasure and provides food in the form of freshly-birthed koyukkuris. Alice-types may also just go around in rape-posses, preying on any and all yukkuris they encounter. Sometimes, it would appear that there are consensual Alice-types. These ones behave much like Reimu-types and Marisa-types, and prefer to live close to Marisa-types. In reality however, these are simply dormant Alice-types that have yet to awaken to their true nature. All Alice-types, without exception will be overpowered by their instinct to reproduce and will rape another Yukkuri sooner or later. Alice-types are filled with custard. They tend to pride themselves of being "from a city sect", and they speak in a more ladylike manner than the rest of the yukkuris.

On another note, kimeemaru is spared from abuses.
Not wanting to take it easy brings you fans, it seems.

[Anonymous No.]

The perfect block!?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Still one of the best written stories for yukkuris. Although, the Yu.doc has one that contains more text.

[Anonymous No.]

Good god I wish Yukkuris were real. I'd make a large reserve for them to take it easy in.

And whenever it got overpopulated, I'd grab a 5 iron and go to motherfucking town on them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1159963
>And whenever it got overpopulated, I'd let loose a full swarm of Army Ants.
Fix'd

[Anonymous No.]

I still believe that these creatures are fabrications created and enchanted by Chaos to corrupt the minds of man.

Do you not see how a simple bag of beans is turning you into a psychopath? A heretic!?

[Anonymous No.]

I would make yukkuri snuff and rape movies and sell them for profit

Just imagine the titles..

[Anonymous No.]

I want a pet yukkuri.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160026
Rape it easy !

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160033

WTF?

I've seen many things but this is disturbing. What's next? A cirnoff that farts fireballs?

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

rape rape rape

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160046
Wish I had one. All I have is this.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

This is now a yukkuri pr0n thread

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

In before obscene obscene.jpg.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160171
That's it, I'm done for tonight. Nothing else can top that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160056
>>1160081

[Adjutant‮TACELBAT‪‪‪‬‪‬ !FUX4cHAN.6 No.]

>>1160171
FUCK YEAH

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160171
Are Yukkuri Kraang's Robot body's arms like that due to the shoop, or were they like that originally?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160225
totally like that to begin with. Go 80s cartoons!

[Anonymous No.]

I couldn't edit out the text in the third panel. How does it look?

[Anonymous No.]

Could I get a translation for the right text? I definitely know it's not "Take it easy"

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160261
Probably the most disgusting of all the yukkuri's. The only thin she's got going is her cruelty.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

Any chance of this getting a translation?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160412
Seconding translation request.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160276
Grow up easy!

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160507
>>1160470
Thanks for the translation, and thanks for the edit to what appears to be WBX Nero Anon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160421
>>1160412

typing normally, someone else can yukkuri-fy it
'yu? yu?'
it's hotttttt (reimu says this)
die easily!!
stooop
yu!?
noooo
roast easily!!
help/save me!!
yu!?
loop>>1160421

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160633
Can die easily be stated as the usual "Drop dead easy!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160700
probably. He did say to yukkurify it in the editing.

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

It's about time I got the second chapter of Mister Mukyu's Fun Yukkuri Adventures written down.

I have one more chapter planned, then It'll just be a bunch of random Yukkuri slaughter.

Collage is starting up soon, though, and then there's my job, and then there's the fact the I procrastate with all of my stories, though, so it might not be quite a while until I finish it. Anyway, enjoy.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160824
Post the first chapter. I don't recall ever reading it.

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

I was walking through the forest on my way home, carrying a bag filled with enough food to feed myself, a large yukkuri Grandmother, a single koyukkuri, and nothing more. It was feeding time, after all. I was interrupted on my walk as a large Yukkurisa began tackling my legs. I continued walking forward and asked it why it wasn't taking it easy on me.

"You have food! Marisa needs food!"

Feh, blasted thing. "Don't be so selfish, or I'll step on you easy." I threatened. I've learned from extensive playing with Yukkuris that they take everything you say if you take "easy" onto the end of it.

"But Marisa needs food for Marisa's babies!"

Koyukkuri? Those things are always so cute when you squish them. A little detour wouldn't hurt. "Oh, they're for Marisa's babies!" I said with a false enthusiasm. "That's different. I'll feed them easy, I will!"

It jumped up and down happily. "I'll take you to them easy!" It shouted with glee.

And so I followed it through the forest, checking the landmarks to prevent getting lost. Soon, I found we were coming up to a Yukkureimu. It had a single tendril sprouting out of it.

"Take it easy!" It shouted in greeting to me.

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

I picked up the Reimu and tucked it Gently under my arm. "Come with me, and I'll take you somewhere where I can get you food." I cooed to it. "You come along, too" I added to the Marisa. She happily bounced along behind me as I took them both back to my house. "Now, wait out here easy while I go get everything set up!" I said putting the Reimu down on a chair that I had set up in my patio.

"Okay, Mister!" It shouted

"Take it easy!" The Marisa shouted after it.

I head inside be began to grab a few things. A set of Matches, some spare charcoal, and four pieces of twine that would serve to hold down the Yukkuri. I walk back outside, and start up a flame in the grill.

"Ooh, pretty!" The Marisa shouted jumping onto one of the ledges of the grill on the side. I smiled down to it.

"Take it easy right here, I need to do something." I told it.

"Ohh, what are you going to do, mister?" it asked

"You'll see."

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

“Yu?”

“Ids doo hawt!”

“Yu…? Yu … YU! YUYUYUYUYU!”

The parents were frantic now. Their children were crying. The parents could feel the heat on their faces as well.

“I can’t move! I can’d moob! Helb me eajy, mizter!” The Reimu’s words were slurring into a desperate speech. I stepped behind the Marisa, and slowly untied it. The Marisa struggled against the twine, and came free. It didn’t realize that I let it free.

“Marisa got out easy! Reimu can too!”

“Reibu caaaaan’d!” It cried tearfully. The babies continued to cry, and the Marisa got frusterated. I picked it up in my hands gently, and carried it over to the Reimu.

“Reimu can move easy! Reimu has to move easy! Why won’t Reimu Move easy!?”

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160824
Haven't seen the first chapter before. Post it, and I'll add it to the Yu.doc.

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

The Marisa was furious. “Reimu can move! Reimu can too move! Why would Reimu move! Marisa’s Babies can’t take it easy! Move it Easy! If Reimu doesn’t move it easy, I’ll smash her so she can’t hurt marisa’s babies anymore!”

“Looks like Reimu doesn’t plan on moving…” I commented from the back. This set the Marisa off like a roman candle. It shouted loudly from the top of its lungs (?) to drop dead easy, and leapt onto the Reimu, smashing her bean paste filling out of her body. The Reimu’s sobbing quickly turned into deathscreams.

In the process of killing her own lover and the mother of her yet to be birthed children, the stem that the children were on were brought touching the grill, cooking them faster. On top of that, the middle Yukkuri dropped off the twig and into the char below. Looks like I can’t retrieve it. What a pain. I decided to let the Marisa deal with the babies now.

“Reimu can’t hurt your babies now, Marisa, but look!” I shouted with false enthusiasm. “Your babies are now burning up! Hurry up and save them.”

The Marisa twisted over the Reimu’s corpse to watch them crying in pain. “Mommie will save you!” it shouted. Then it reached out with it’s mouth to the nearest baby. It successfully snatched it from the heat- and death. The then twisted towards me, and dropped the Yukkuri off at it’s side. It twisted back around, ignoring the resulting squish. I had to hold my mouth to keep from laughing. It just threw it over the side! Did it realize what it was doing?

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

The Yukkurisa continued to stretch out it’s body over the grill, but had no hope of reaching the other Yukkuri. Tried as it might, it couldn’t. It’s only hope was to jump back and forth on the grill and off, snatching the yukkuri quickly. It jumped forward, and felt the hot metal under her dough. A sharp scream convinced me that the baby was doomed. The Marisa leapt backwards in surprise to the heat. It looked down at the burning flames of the grill. It tried again to jump forward, but the heat forced it back again. She tried and tried again to save her last baby. The heat was too much for her, but then I saw something remarkable happened.

It was done.

The Baby yukkuri was grilled to perfection!

Using a pair of tongs I kept handy, I picked up the twig holding the Yukkuri. The Marisa looked up at me. “Mister? Are you saving Marisa’s baby easy?”

“Nope” I said plainly. “It’s dead already. I hope it tastes good.”

I closed my eyes and bit the manjuu off of the branch. It was rather sweet. It must have realized its mother was trying to rescue it and wondered why it couldn’t.

The Marisa however started sobbing uncontrollably. “MAWIZAZ BAEBIIIEES~!” it cried. I opened one eye to glance towards it.

“Relax, didn’t you save one of them?” I ask, preparing for it’s next attempt at crying more water than it could possibly hold. “Where did it go?”

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

“Well,” I began to recollect the scene. “I believe you were sitting here.” I placed my hands over the Marisa and keep it in place. “You grabbed the Baby, and turned towards this way to drop it off.” I turned the Marisa to the side she was facing. “So then…” I bent down. The Marisa turning it’s head (Body?) down towards the ground. I pointed to the bean paste splatter on the ground. “Is this it?”

The Marisa bawled like never before.

“w-why? Why did mizter doo dis? Why!?”

“Because!” I said sharply. “I am currently training you to become a vengeful and demonic Yukkuri. One that will enjoy murdering your own kind, and will help me to slaughter your own friends and family for the sake of my entertainment! I’ve been training you for this for months now!”

“…Monds? Bud mawizas only med you doday…”

I blink once.

I Blink twice.

“Oh, that’s right.” I remembered that I had just met the family on my way home. This Marisa is completely unrelated to the one I holed up inside. I guess demonic rampages do that to you. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

“Umm … sorry you couldn’t save them.” Another idea formed in my head. “Oh, but I hope you don’t go and save the Marisa that I am keeping hold of!”

“yu?” it dawns on it that I had to have been keeping another yukkuri if I would confuse it with another one.

“Please don’t follow me inside!” I say with a goofy smile. I then walk in, leaving the door open. Making certain that it was indeed following me (It was, indeed), I unlocked my Yukkuri play room. It followed me inside. I closed the door behind it.

“I’ve come to save you!” It shouted loudly. It grabbed the Attention of four Marisas, who gently bounced towards it. Back in the corner where a few koyukkuris that were shambling in the back. On top of the Desk in the center of the room was a Glass Box containing a rather large Marisa, and a rather small Patchouli.

“Yu?” One of the four Marisa’s asked. It bounced towards the new Marisa.

“I’ll help you! Mister is a bad person!”

“You will help us?” The Marisa that stepped forward asked.

“That’s right.” I cut in before it could say anything. “This Marisa here will help keep the four of you going during this drought.”

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

“Yu?”

“Yu!”

That last Yu belonged to the Marisa inside of the glass box. This was the Marisa that I was training to become a devious monster. She knew what I was talking about. This drought. Every once in a while, to prevent the Four Marisas from growing, I stop giving them food, and only bring enough for the Patchouli and Marisa that are in the box. This goes on until I want to release the Patchouli from the box for the other Marisas to rape. This means of course that the four Marisas end up eating all of their Koyukkuri. They were very hungry.

They wasted no time in jumping to foreign Yukkuri. “Ztob it! Why are you doing dis?”

“They’re hungry.” I explain. “You’ll save them by becoming food for them, and letting them live until I can bring enough food for them to live on.” I lied.

It knew I was lying, too. It saw the food that I had brought with me. “Mizter has lots of food! Ztob eadding mee!”

It’s cries were ignored by the ravenous yukkuri. Soon there was nothing left of it.

“I hope you all can take it easy.” I said after they had finished their meal.

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

>>1160853
The first chapter is already in the Yu.doc. It was the one that was uploaded and then Translated on the Waterducts. Thanks anyway.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160911
Do you mean >>1159942 is the first chapter? That's the only story I've heard of translated into japanese

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160824
Wait a minute...isn't this the story where the main character used a vibrator on a Yukkurisa and it had a family with a Patchy Yukkuri that died?

[Mister Mukyu !NPjWSW9EXI No.]

>>1160936
No, >>1160929 was right. It should be number 81. in the Yu.doc.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160936

The "sequel" to >>1159942 is this. Also, did >>1159942 really get translated? I thought the only /jp/ story translated was the "slaughter can't be spelled without laughter" one.

Oh, and expect a third story. I'm only a page in so far, but I actually have the plot outlined this time.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160899
these well thought-out stories make me more than ever want some kind of visual project. More than the oneshots that already exist i mean.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1161027
gah. I thought that was the slaughter/laughter story. Fuck. Maybe that one wasn't translated then.

[Anonymous No.]

BEND IT EASY

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160899
>>1160891
>>1160882
>>1160874
>>1160858
>>1160845
>>1160839
>>1160830

Shit sux

[Anonymous No.]

>>1160171

Oh god lol

>>1160412

Are you sure there isn't onw already? "It's hot!" slurred, like "ID'S HOOODDDD!!"

[Anonymous No.]

>>1161789

Whoops, I didn't see that it was animated, since I download everything and view it offline. Here:

1. R: ID'S HOTTTTTT

2. R: It's hot (slurred)
M: Drop dead easy! (lit. Die slowly!)

3. R: Stop it (slurred)

4. R: Stop it (slurred)

5. M: Yu?!

[Anonymous No.]

why do some of you keep bringing in real world physics and comparing the behavior of these things to the mannerisms of real world animals and children? seriously

[Anonymous No.]

>>1161027
>>1161151

I remember going WTF when I recognized this particular story when browsing the waterducts site. That makes at least two translated back to japanese.

[Anonymous No.]

Yukkuri Lagann

gattai gone horribly... horribly wrong

[Anonymous No.]

1st panel.
Yuu!
Yuu!
Twake id eeshee!
sfx: boing boing

2nd panel:
Yuu--?
Misser,
are yuu gowing twoo pway with mwee?
Sfx: Yu? twitch twitch

3rd panel
Myuuugh!!!
Sfx: THWACK

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162250

That seems really mean after it asked to play with you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162250
This is strangely arousing...

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162256

I know! Isn't that awesome?

[Anonymous No.]

Do they taste sweet from just physical pain, or from mental anguish as well?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162250
If I may:

>Twake id eeshee!
I suggest using "ch" in chibiyukkuris' speech, since they use it a lot in Japanese. Therefore, "Chake ich eajy!"

>sfx: bawwwww~~~ (yes, I can't think of an English equivalent. If you can, do what you must)
I think that's the sound of teardrops forming.

>HUUURDSSS ID HUUURDSSS!!!
"HUUURCH ICH HUUUURCH!!!"

>>1162256
It was all a big misunderstanding. Yukkuris in general tend to assume that things are going favorably for them. (That only serves to strengthen the shock when they realize that it's not so.)

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162387
Both. Despair and sorrow make them sweeter. Unless it somehow enjoys the pain (hello, Tenko), both can work.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158747
sew its birth canal shut with piano wire, then stick it in a box until the 'cute baby' is forced to eat its way out to escape, or the mother is forced to forcibly expel the newborn yukkuri from its body, ripping both said newborn and said birth canal apart with the piano wire.


alternately, allow the koyukkuri to be born, then separate the mother, burn the baby's eyes out with a fireplace poker and give the baby to the alice.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1158747
If I had two pregnant yukkuris I'd try and line them up facing each other, and in the chance where they'd both give birth at once I'd try and aim the koyukkuris at each other to explode in a glorious fountain of bean paste

[Anonymous No.]

Can't believe there's a whole thread of people trying to rationalize how torturing and mutilating critters that are obviously sentient and show emotions is somehow okay.

It's like if somebody made a genuine, serious argument about how fucking one of those really-900-year-old-honest lolis in animu is in no way a sign of pedophilia at all. The not4chan crowd is honest with themselves, why can't you be honest and admit that you are sadists?

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162728

>>BBBAAAAWWWWWWW

[Anonymous No.]

I love yukkuri torture.

More.

[Anonymous No.]

Anon the storeclerk had just finished his rounds and he was heading home. With him was a bag filled with sweets and a toy or two for his Chen yukkuri. At one point he didn't like yukkuris, but his Chen was different. It understood him. It could 'get it.'

Whistling his favorite battle tune, Anon reached his home near the outer reaches of the village. It was a quiet section where he could live with the only yukkuri he had in peace. Anon knew these days with his little dark chocolate blob could last forever.

At least that's what he thought.

The bag spilled from his hands as he opened his front.

"CHWEN DUDCH GEDR IDDDD!!!"

It was a single Alice. Dried up branches sticky with dark chocolate lay around his squirming Chen yukkuri as the Alice rubbed vigarosly against her.

"M-MAWISA'S NOT HERE, BUT CHEN WILL DO!! YOU'LL LIKE THIS! I'M FROM THE CITY-SECT!!!"

"Yugh!?"

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162759
The Alice yelped as Anon's grip grew tighter. He picked up his Chen which was weakly trying to get it, and made it some sugar water to drink while he...took care of things.

Putting his hand against the Alice yukkuri's mouth, Anon walked over to his freezer. Opening the door, he pulled out his latest catch. It was a Yukkureimu which had caused havoc at his workplace by a quarter of the pastries. Luckily, this had made it distend and it could not bounce properly so it was easy to catch. Anon had brought it home and frozen it to snack on later.

Anon didn't give a rat's ass about other yukkuris. The only yukkuri for him was his Chen yukkuri, which was why he was completely brutal with other yukkuris.

Anon had recently heard of an experiment known as "Yukkuring" and wished to test it out. He pulled out a blow torch (from hammerspace) and began to that the side of his frozen Yukkureimu. The Alice noticed that it had been let go and began hopping excitedly.

"Ha! Misder iz stubid!! Alice can run away eas-AGWAAAA" STOMP. Anon made sure it would stay as a leaking custard pile for a bit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162763
With a sufficient amount of ice melted but the Yukkureimu still being encased in ice, Anon tore off part of its moist dough cheek. He said it aside for a snack for later, and reached over to the struggling Alice yukkuri.

Putting them together, Anon realized at that point he had no flour and water.

"Oh well, let's use the blow torch."

A few cries of pain later and the yukkuris were attached. Anon waited. Alice continued struggling against its 'partner', and then suddenly its eyes bulged.

"HELP! HELP! ALICE IS FROZEN!!!" It started foaming at the mouth, but Anon quickly shoved the filth back into its mouth and taped it shut.

A few seizures later and Anon was already bored with the twitching yukkuri. He decided he was hungry for custard and went to get a large bowl and spoon.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162765
It was rather easy to scoop out the custard from the catatonic yukkuri, and Anon began whistling again. When he finished and all that was dough, something else got his interest. Wanting to test something out, he began to scoop some of the bean paste from the Yukkureimu into the Alice.

"...bu...den...lp..." The Alice started quivering and gurgling nonsense. He scooped more.

"Re...fwo...heg..." Anon scooped more until he had about an even amount.

"...Reibu...fwoden...hewlp..." The Alice bubbled out.

Anon, realizing that he had made a Yukkuri make another yukkuri its puppet, decided then to sell it to the Factory. After all, who wouldn't want "a rare pair of yukkuris where one uses its parasitic twin to speak"?

Indeed, they would never know how Anon did this, and he would continue to make more to sell. After all, he knew he would never take it easy. But with his Chen, yes...he could get it.

LAME END

[Anonymous No.]

Not a lot of new Yukkuri content from Pixiv. Only two interesting things I could find was this comic which is apparently about Remirya hunting.

[Anonymous No.]

And this art which is kind of cute.

[Anonymous No.]

You know, these things would be a nice replacement for styrofoam padding/peanuts. As an added bonus you get to eat them after you receive your package.

But we must keep the bubblewrap.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162768
I hate the rapist Alice-types so much.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162772
At least I know a useful tying and capturing technique not.

[Anonymous No.]

Can't seem to post, odd.

Anyone want to translate some Kaguya rage?

[Anonymous No.]

Normally, when that cruel, childlike desire to torment an animal takes hold, the litmus test on this sort of thing is "does it have feelings?" and/or "does it have a soul?"

In real life, people can't even agree if the human soul exists. In the fantastical realm of Gensokyo, this is a much easier question to resolve. We can just see if dead yukkuris show up to ride in Komachi's nice boat.

Of course, I'm convinced that most of the arguments that yukkuri abuse is for the greater good are simply trolling to prolong arguments. Generally the more reprehensible the act, the more AWWWWWWRIGHT people will claim it is, which, I suppose, is also mostly trolling.

[Anonymous No.]

>>1162728
That's quite a bad example, given how it can be true under certain circumstances.