/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

Arm wrestle me, jaypee!

[Anonymous No.]

you buern gajillions of calories when u masturbate

[Anonymous No.]

so my armed is super strong

are you SURE u want to wrestle? ill wrek your shit

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504433
nani

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

y-you too

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504429
>>11504434
>>11504435
>>11504439
>>11504441

Unfunniest thread on /jp. The good old days are rolling their grave.
>>>/v/

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504449
nobody is trying to be funny you tryhard piece of shit

[Anonymous No.]

>nobody is trying to be funny

So... This is the ethos of zombie/jp/...

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504439
Careful Mugi, it's well established that retards have the strength of ten average men!

[Suika-Tan !Npq.Isx2OE No.]

pache will take you on

[Seija Kijin !BIi25fiCe6 No.]

¡ǝǝdʎɐɾ 'ǝɯ ǝlʇsǝɹʍ ɯɹ∀

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504506
thats a cool new gimmick dude but nobody is gonna go through the effort of googling the googles to reverse your post

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504429

[Anonymous No.]

Where is accelerator when you need him?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504608
Accelerator can beat any touhou.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504608
Be the Accelerator that you want to see in the world.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504608
Mugi awoke in a small room. This was not home. There were no keyboards. No Afternoon Tea Times. She was cold and alone. Terrified, she attempted to get to her feet, before realizing she was chained by her ankle to the wall, and she was in a strange set of clothes. A hand going to her head, she also realized that her hair had been cut short. Tears forming in her eyes, she felt a sickening fear in her stomach. The door suddenly opened, bringing with it an overwhelming stench of brewed coffee.

"...Is my darling Accelerator awake?" Stan Lee asked, standing in the doorway.

"A-Accelerator...?" Mugi asked, confused. "I...my name is Mu-" she screamed. Stan Lee, in an instant, had thrown a cup of something scalding hot onto her. It had gotten all over her thighs and forearms...coffee. She wasn't surprised. Tears freely falling, she struggled to get up once more, chain clinking in resistance.

"Accelerator, you know I don't like it when you struggle!" the man shouted, pain audible in his voice. "...don't be upset. I'll make it all better. I'll get Joey to make me some more coffee after we're finished..." he said, facial features contorted in a manic smile.

Mugi felt a sickening fear in the pit of her stomach. What did he mean by that...? "Please, you have the wrong person! Who am I dressed up as!? My ha-"

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504635
Stan Lee was on top of her, his tongue in her mouth.

The small girl felt bile rising in her throat as his thick coffee breath seemed to choke her. She felt him swirling his tongue around her own, and desperately tried to pull away, but to no avail.

"Accelerator...don't fight me. I'll scald you right in your ass...well. I know I'll be scalding you with my willy, but after that..." Stan Lee whispered, breath hot in her ear. "Let's get you out of those clothes...I've got to discuss an X-Men and Yotsuba&! crossover with a good japanese friend of mine..."

Mugi couldn't move as she felt her top being slowly pulled off. Her burns ached horribly, and him straddling her like that wasn't helping...oh god, why her?!

The seconds seemed to last years as she was slowly stripped naked from the top up. Openly crying, her body was heaving with sobs.

"Oh, Accelerator...it's okay. I know it hurts, but soon enough you'll feel all better..." his tongue traced her ear, before suckling on the lobe gently. His hands were gently rubbing her sides, before going up to her chest.

"Wha-...my dear, when on earth did you get breasts?" the elderly man asked, confused. Mugi screamed in protest.

"I'm Mugi! Tsumugi Akiyama! I play the keyboard! I'm in a band! I'm in love with Mio-" a hand down her pants. He gently stroked her pubic hair, before beginning to rub her slit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504641
A low moan escaped her, just barely. "St-Stan Lee..." she whispered, trying to fight her natural urges.

"...Yes, Accelerator?" he asked, crazed passion in his eyes. His erection was creating quite the bulge in his pants, and it was clear the comic writer was packing heat.

'No!' she thought to herself, before catching a faint glimpse of herself reflected in his glasses. Oh...oh god. She was...she was dressed up like this...Accelerator thing! What was an accelerator anyways? A car part? Why would a car dress like this?!

"Get off me!" she yelled, slapping at his face and neck.

"Shut the fuck up, Accelerator! I've spent thousands of dollars trying to find you, and you're going to love me whether you like it or not!" he yelled back, tears in his eyes. He wasn't even making sense...a single finger slid inside of her.

"St-Stan! Stop it now!" she said, cheeks growing hot as he began to suck on her collarbone. Mugi couldn't enjoy this...not with this man. Not as some 'accelerator'...she continued to sob as he pulled her pants and underwear down to her ankles.
"Oh, how I've been waiting..." he moaned, unzipping his pants.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504649
He was...he was going to have sex with her. Mugi knew it was going to happen, and she only began to sob harder as the man took his shirt off. "I'll make you feel...incredible." he said, removing his finger from her vaginal orfice.

She shut her eyes tightly, hoping to god this was a nightmare...her eyes snapped open as his finger began poking at her anus. "Nooo!" she shouted, flailing as best she could. She tried to push him off, desperately, her burns absolutely screaming with pain.

"Shh...shhh..." he cooed, before another figure entered the room.

"Ah, Joey!" he exclaimed, grabbing the fresh, steaming cup of coffee from the boy's hands. He was missing his fingernails.

Taking a swig, he used his free hand to slowly probe Mugi's tight ass, getting it in to the knuckle. She was in utter agony.

"Oh...we'll need some lube, won't we..." Stan said, thinking for a minute. "I didn't have any prepa..." he trailed off, looking at his half empty cup of coffee. Mugi's eyebrows raised in absolute terror.

"It'll only sting for a moment..." he muttered, removing his finger from her anus. Placing it and another finger into the steaming coffee, he winced a little at the heat. "This'll let me slide into your fine ass just fine..."

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504657
Two fingers slid into her so quickly it was like someone had fired a bullet straight into her butthole. "Fuwaaaaa!" she screamed, frantically trying to crawl backwards to get his elderly fingers out of her anus. It was so hot...and two fingers was painful enough already...his entire dick would absolutely kill her!

"P-please stop..." she cried out, as he fingerfucked her whimpering ass.

"Accel, listen...I need you. I love you more than anything I've created. I love you more than coffee. More than the moon, the sky, the earth...more than Spiderman and the X-Men. You're the only one for me." as Stan Lee placed a gentle kiss on her lips, Mugi found herself unable to fight back...

Stan Lee lowered himself, gently grasping her reddened thighs and placing them on his shoulders. "You ready, darling?"

Without thinking, she nodded.

He poured more of the coffee on his raging boner, moaning as it audibly scalded his tender dick flesh. A split second later, he slowly prodded the tip into her ass, moaning out Accelerator's name as he fit half his cock inside.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504661
"A-Ah...Stan..." Mugi moaned out, as she felt him begin to play with her breasts, gently squeezing her nipples. "Ah...Stan...let me be your Accelerator!" she shouted, hands grabbing the sides of his face, pulling him closer. She licked at his lips like a wild animal until he responded with his own tongue. They entered a small tongue war, until their lips finally connected in a deep, wet kiss.

Stan Lee slowly eased the rest of himself into her, and slowly started pumping his hips. "Accelerator, you're so god damned tight...ahhh...my balls are racing to the heavens..." he cried, breaking away from their kiss for a minute. Mugi began to kiss his adam's apple, and sucked on his neck. "Fuck me, Stan Lee. Fuck me like you've never fucked a japanese high school girl before..."

"I didn't know you were in high school, Accelerator!" he said, astonished, as he started thrusting harder, voice swarthy and filled with lust.

"I-I am!" Mugi replied, before kissing him once more.

There was no longer a need for words. They kissed endlessly, deep at first, then butterfly kisses, then deep once more.

Stan Lee was absolutely ramming her ass now, balls slapping against her ass audibly. It only aroused her more. Her pussy juices trickled down to her ass, providing further lubrication as it mixed with the coffee.

He felt as if he were fucking something sent by god, made of pure ecstasy, molded for his cock and his cock only...like one of those flashlight vaginas, only it was his most beloved Accelerator.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504666
"Faster!" she moaned between kisses. "So hard...need...you...ahh!" Mugi had just experienced her first orgasm not brought on by masturbation. It started in her abdomen, like a sickening sticky heat rising up through her whole body, sending a tidal wave of ecstasy through her brain. Only Stan Lee could make her feel like this...she knew it.

"Anything...ahh...anything for you, Acc...Accel!" Stan Lee shouted, his body dripping with sweat, as was Mugi's.

Realizing she was the only one who'd come so far, she clenched her anus at precisely timed intervals, the inner walls of her poop tube grasping as his cock.

"Ahhh...Accelerator...you feel so gooood!" Stan Lee shouted, pumping so fast his heart was beating out of control...his blood pressure skyrocketed. Stan Lee couldn't feel his left arm, but ignored it.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard you won't be able too Accelerate for a week!" the man shouted.

"Fuck me, Stan! Fuck meee!" Mugi felt his dick grow hotter...he was going to...!

"Come inside me, Stan Lee! Come right in my quivering anus!"

"It's fuwa fuwa time!" the man shouted, thrusting so hard he felt as if he'd just hit her tonsils. His sweet seed exploded from his tip, filling up her ass.

[Anonymous No.]

kuso thread award

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504672
"I...my heart..."

"...Stan?!" Mugi whimpered, hand going to stroke his cheek. "Stan!? Are you...Stan!" Mugi sat up, letting his head rest on her small breasts.

He barely managed to pull out of her, his semen mixed with the coffee now dripping out of her onto the floor.

"...Acceler...ator...I...I love you... HHNNNNGHHHHH" Stan Lee had just experienced a heart attack. He lost consciousness in his sweetheart's arms, as she rocked him back and forth, openly weeping for the man who had only loved Accelerator.

"Stan...oh Stan..." Mugi whispered, gently stroking his hair. She sobbed. "I'm glad...I could make your final moments happy..." She took the cup of coffee...mere drops left. Tilting the cup to get those last drops, she held the liquid in her mouth...it was barely lukewarm.

She kissed him, gently prying open his lips with her tongue, letting the small bit of liquid flow into his mouth.

"...Goodnight, sweet prince." she whispered in his ear, embracing him, before slowly humming Fuwa Fuwa Time to his motionless body.

[Anonymous No.]

I don't even know what the fuck I'm reading.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11504906