/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

itt: scary stories/stories general

>have bad dream
>wake up
>pissed self
>school in 20mins
>uh oh

post em

[Anonymous No.]

>playing well on cs
>people start saying stuff to you in chat
>"wp" "nice"
>look away and pretend you didn't notice

[Anonymous No.]

>have bad dream
>never wake up

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405868
>playing well on cs
>last 1 alife
>everybody spectating you
fffuuuu

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405868
>playing LoL
>fuck up
>team gets mad
>uh oh

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405870
>uh oh

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405872

>win the round
>want to cry anyway

[Anonymous No.]

>go to /jp/
>it's shit
uh oh

[Anonymous No.]

>goes to /jp/
>green text thread
>not a dream

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405877

UH OH

[Anonymous No.]

>at school, with my head down on my desk
>suddenly, power outage
>after everyone calms down about it the room gets quiet
>let rip the biggest fart of my life
>uhoh

[Anonymous No.]

>walking home through factories because I'm poor as shit and live downtown
>stop for a second to look at an empty space under a set of stairs by a gritty brick building
>at that moment a lizard half a foot long leaps up the wall, dumbfounded I watch it scramble away from me
>as I walk away briefly after I hear 2 bizarre cackles coming from nowhere
>basically no one around, weekend with no one at work and the factory buildings all have windows placed near the roof where no one could be watching
also some dude caught me jerking off publicly at another point during the walk

[Anonymous No.]

>open thread
>my mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405890
>my mfw
>mfw

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405886

>walking and jerking off simultaneously
>while in a factory

Why

[Anonymous No.]

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405910

>using Fitzgerald's translation
>2013

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405910
his darkest fear
his dying throes
poor anon is dragged below
his final words
an epic meme
he greentexts out
"uh oh"

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405872
oh man I can't deal with this

[Anonymous No.]

>playing well on cs
>rape so much cause terminal butthurt
>get bored
>play surf maps
>rape surf maps
>get bored
>stop playing cs

I haven't played cs in 5 years but I'm still pretty sure I could go through each map blindfolded

[Anonymous No.]

>in bed
>fart shit

uh oh

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405872
I don't play cs anymore but hell, I remember this. It happened just once because I sucked at cs and usually died early. Once I was the last man standing against 4 or 5 players. I could almost feel gazes of spectators. I won. Still don't know how. I should've tried my luck in lottery instead of playing video games.

[Anonymous No.]

>be on /g/, using my Gentoo rig powered by QUADFIRE 7970s and an i7 2600k, when knock at cave door
>OPEN UP WE'S THE POH LEASE
>push a couple old Pentium 4s against the door (those things are just so damn handy)
>begin waddling towards escape hatch
>BANG BANG BANG
>cops shooting the door, screaming MURIKA FUCK YEAH
>be Canadian, quite confused
>continue waddling as fast as I can
>cops break door down
>they begin sprinting towards me
>one gets caught in my intranet
>fuck that was an expensive cable it's hard to get them that long
>whatever
>cop begins shooting me
>dive behind Fermi pile
>Fermis burst into flames, buying me time
>grab my Thinkpad
>escape hatch blocked by cans
>prepare for final stand
>cop comes around corner
>nail her on the head with my Thinkpad
>Thinkpad 1 SWAT helmet 0
>another cop rounds corner
>shoots me
>absorbed in my fat, bounces off
>this angers me
>release the bear
>Guardian Neckbear leaps from neck and begins biting cop
>throw GNU/Hurd kernel DVDs at him
>he dies from disgust
>cop jumps through can pile
>falls onto my pile of dragon dildos
>runs back out screaming
>jump in my get-away pedovan
>mom runs out of house
>SERGIO COMPUTER NO JUST WERKO
>NOT NOW MOM I'M BUSY
>rev up car
>cop cars begin coming around corner
>speed off
>they chase me
>they have no drivers and crash into poles
>an entire polish parade
>1.7% of the parade survive
>more cops behind me
>NO TIME FOR LOVE, COPPERS
>helicopter appears above me
>it's rotational velociodencity begins to degrade as it comes closer to my giant dog-shapped pedovan
>it bluescreens
>jump out the door
>hit the floor
>everyone walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405964
>browsing jaypee
>mom comes in room
>tells me to get a job or she'll kick me out

uh oh

[Anonymous No.]

>>11405964
looool