/jp/ - Otaku Culture

[Anonymous No.]

If your computer became a cute girl what would she be like?

[Anonymous No.]

Fat, wrinkled, and dim-witted, but reliable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307082
just like the best computer ever.

[Anonymous No.]

She would feel constantly feel sick and have fevers. From time to time she would pass out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307082

She would be reliable, loyal and a good companion. She might get a bit jealous though as I have more than one computer.

[Anonymous No.]

A cute lolihag that hates new things, whose health may or may not be doing good.

[Anonymous No.]

She would be slim, she'd always wear blue clothes and have lots and lots of cute scars.

[Anonymous No.]

He would dress all-white and go to Starbucks.

[Anonymous No.]

She would be an old woman who kept forgetting letters in the alphabet

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307082
keep it to "otaku culture" please.

[Anonymous No.]

ASUS G73JW

Good actually.

[Anonymous No.]

Horny and corrupt.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307165
So a family computer, I take it?

[Anonymous No.]

Constantly feeling hot down there because I'm running novidya.

[Anonymous No.]

Is there a Raspberry Pi-tan yet?

[Anonymous No.]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-11900389

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307169
.
.
.
Yes.

[Anonymous No.]

A tsundere that gets set off easily because her power supply and heat management are trash.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307173
Rasperry Pi isn't an operating system

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307082
Until 2 months ago, i had a 5 years old P4 who never had a problem.
Is still working but i don't use it anymore.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307218
There are -tans for more than just operating systems.

http://www.wakachan.org/os/
Browse around this board a little. There are anthropomorphizations of everything.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307236
I still use a Pentium 4 from 2003. It has a clock speed of 3.0 GHz and hyper-threading (whoa!).

[Anonymous No.]

If she's anything like my computer is now if I gave her two commands at the same time she would freeze up for a few seconds and not respond to anything.

[Anonymous No.]

Dressed sort of like Victorian style, because I refuse to use any theme that isn't windows 95-like, but some sort of scantily clad lolita variant of it, because I strip down my programs to only those I need. Nonetheless, she's well maintained, though a little weary because I only turn her off when I absolutely have to. Also she speaks in Japanese due to my locale settings.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307275
I still use a Motorola 68000 from the 70s, it can handle /jp/ pretty well!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307250
personifications

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307345
Even at the expense of hardware acceleration? Enjoy your screen tearing.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

So what do you guys do to computers to make them "slow" over time? My computers only get faster as I break them in, so I've never gotten that concept.

[Anonymous No.]

My pc is from 2007, so shed be a 6 years old loli

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307460
Mostly adding things to the hard drive. If you only have a little bit of space left it can slow down the computer and make it harder to use. That's why it's a good idea to clean it frequently and defrag.

[Anonymous No.]

Sturdy and well maintained, but prone to getting confused and corrupting files.

Sometimes gets a headache and runs things slowly for no reason.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307460
Upgrade.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307460
They use Windows instead of OS X with it's superior Darwin kernel.

[Anonymous No.]

Hard working, but occasionally forgets who her master is to the point where she locks me outside the house (computer)

[Anonymous No.]

A cute and sleek loli who wears black and has large blue eyes. She is very reliable, but she tends to strip a lot.

[Anonymous No.]

Blind, hot headed and a bit slow on the uptake. She would probably get upset at me for not fixing her up.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307475
Filling hard drive doesn't slow it down.You can have 0 free space and it shouldn't have impact on performance.Defragmentation yeah,and programs in background and who knows what more too...but not space(unless you are using more RAM than you have so it uses your hard drive as swap space,but that shouldn't happen anyway).

My would be well dressed and clean since I clean it,but airhead.

[Anonymous No.]

Really damaged, sick and weak and occasionally stops working (faints).

[Anonymous No.]

She would be not old, but a mature lady who's still able to keep up with the young girls. She'd be reliable and nerdy with a do-ti-yourself attitude. She'd also enjoy being the leader of all the other PCGirls I own.

[proREMIRIAt Elite Force Comman(...) !rSDMROXTB. No.]

She would be able to do strenuous tasks flawlessly but not for too long or she'll get heat stroke. She would be really thin and light.


>>11307793
What do you use to defrag?. I've been using UltimateDefrag for a few years and it works great.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307869
I thought netbook = loli

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307869
I don't use any special,it's called defraggler.
The one you use is probably better(didn't hear about it),it says in FAQ:
"Places those most frequently used files close together on the fastest performing areas of your hard drive i.e. the outer tracks."
That's cool trick.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307869
Use defragler

[Anonymous No.]

She would love me no matter what

[proREMIRIAt Elite Force Comman(...) !rSDMROXTB. No.]

>>11307885
>>11307911
I tried it. But O like UD more.
It let's you place certain files in different parts of the HDD so it doesn't fragment as fast. Separate high-performing files from archive files.

Also let's you move system sutff like pagefile.sys wherever you want. Lot of options and stuff.

As long as you stay the away from version 4, it's great.


>>11307883
Net book would be definitely loli.
But this one is a powerful laptop. I had to get one so I could play while I was away from home.

[Anonymous No.]

>defragmentation

M$ cocksuckers get out.
Your system is shit.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307951
Better than OS X

[Anonymous No.]

Mute and wheezy, but surprisingly resilient.

[Anonymous No.]

Black short haired, big breasted, stiff in manners, rarely gets angry but when she does she runs a really foul mouth, is very messy with her stuff.

My previous was long haired, energetic, gets angry easily but usually very quiet, is a neat person.

I like the latter more, but man these breasts just feel so good.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308006
What are breasts supposed to be? Hard drive?

[Anonymous No.]

A 22 year old with red or white hair who wears a black coat that is slightly too big for her.
Some accessories are older hand-me-downs, but still look good. Her hair is perfect and the coat is brand new.
She would also probably be a somewhat loud tomboy, and very clean.

Now I want to this to happen

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308010
The whole specs actually.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308010
I thought it indicated age.

[Anonymous No.]

Quiet, passive, and a few bandages. Laughs at the idea of playing modern games. Doesn't like travel via public transportation.

[Anonymous No.]

She would be jealous because my PSP gets more attention.

[Anonymous No.]

Likes to wear all black and uses a platform to appear taller, can't do everything, but tries hard at what she can and her master doesn't demand too much out of her either, has a raspy voice and prefers whispering, is jealous of the external HD that the owner treasures way more in her opinion, gets dirty easily.

[Matt No.]

she would be a retired marathon runner with parkinsons

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

She'd have DID and parts of her body would occasionally stop working for no reason. She'd have silver hair and would always be trying to multitask more than she should.

[Anonymous No.]

She would be strong and fast, but she would overestimate her power often. She would also suffer from chronic fevers, but she would not let them hold her back, even though she knows how sick she actually is

[Anonymous No.]

Reliable-looking class president type who is very clumsy and incompetent in private, but tries her best to look capable. Sometimes goes on a berserk rage and promptly faints afterwards. Her glasses are slightly cracked.

[Anonymous No.]

she goes into sleep mode a lot and has trouble waking up

[Anonymous No.]

She'd be cute the same way an atomic bomb is cute.

My computers a powerhouse.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308172

Cute.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307082
I do not think I want to see what a 800d would look like as a girl.

[Anonymous No.]

Kuruminha since my case is brown and black.
With asthma since my fans dont work very well.
Its also a laptop, so a loli.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307275
ahahah mine had hyper threading too, crazy technologies.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308431
All I can see is a fat sweaty hairy woman for my pc. oced i7 that is constantly rendering, sli gfx cards that run hot, a rad that is always pushing out heat 24/7 and 12tb of hdds and way too many fans.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

"Where's the vagina? Oh wait, there it is...oh god dammit"

[Anonymous No.]

my comp would be a cute but angry, grumpy little bitch, perpetually pissed about all the software installed in her that constantly phones home and reports personal information about herself against her will.

[Anonymous No.]

I guess she'd be pretty and younger than she looks, good at somethings and absolutely terrible at others. Probably at least a little retarded, but good company nonetheless.

Also most of her USB ports are broken, but idk what that'd translate too. Bad multi-tasking skills? Difficulty connection with new people?

[Anonymous No.]

She has above average visu- appearaces... Thanks to my GTX 460. She's pretty memorable thanks to my 4TB in total HDD space, mostly knowledgeable on anime. Her cup size I would say about a B? 4GB of RAM is pretty standard. Height average being a mid-ATX tower. Despite that, she's really quite loud just like me! With her small cooling fans and all... I should really put in my new ones hahaha! A bit of a insomniac, but lately I've been shutting her down more often to save on energy and to give her a bit of a break. A hard worker, but I think she's a bit appreciative that she's been using her brea- RAM less often, usually average around 3GB, now down to 2GB. I love my computer! My brother's been bugging me to reformat for a while, but I just could do that to her... And I'm lazy as well.

[Anonymous No.]

enZMan drink

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308526
>Also most of her USB ports are broken
Slut

[Anonymous No.]

What would a USB drive that I use to run Ubuntu be?

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308594
you run your OS from a flash drive?
Probably a diminutive girl
if its SSD then maybe she has a lightning fast memory?
Use your own imagination, I'm not too good

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308618
I have to because my laptop is deaaaaaaaaad!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308589
I accidentally fried them. It's not from over-using them...

Yes, I'm an idiot.

[Anonymous No.]

Either fit and energetic or a tired, weathered MILF

I don't shut off my PC except if the power goes out or there's an error that forces me to

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307460
>SSD
>Slow

I've forgotten the concept

[Anonymous No.]

Mine would be this drooling retarded girl with bruises all over her body because I hit her a lot.

I know she secretly like it when I beat her, those cries of pain are lusty moans for my cock.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307793
You should at least have enough space for virtual memory for when your computer uses all of its RAM. Otherwise, your computer will slow down.

[Anonymous No.]

A flashy, stuck up, good looking, expensive cunt who thinks she's better than me, but utterly useless for anything practical. She'd also have a slutty tattoo of a half bitten apple on her back. The only upside would be that she'd never get sick

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307082
She would get better every time I rebooted her.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308674
I love the way you think!

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308674
You're a horrible person for storing that picture in your computer.

[Anonymous No.]

Waifu-tier perfection, I guess she'd be really efficient and loyal, but would dress in messy and revealing clothes (I've lost one of the case's side panels, and there's wires fucking everywhere). Probably acts high-class, seeing as she cost like $5000 to build, has trouble getting out of bed (occasionally crashes on startup).

[Anonymous No.]

I rescued her from a negligent master. She had damaged memory and a few viruses, but nothing I couldn't fix

[Anonymous No.]

Quiet and without a personality. Just like her owner. She'll have many random accessories, due to the fact that my desktop is littered with icons.

[Anonymous No.]

Is this the blog thread?

[Anonymous No.]

My laptop loli was a mess when my father tried to get rid of her, she would freeze in place and refuse to cooperate, and she had hell of a fever.
So I did what I had to do, empty her mind, and take her apart like a mad scientist.
Putting her back together, I may have broken something, so now she does an audible click when I touch her side.
Trying to downgrade to XP from Vista on a laptop with no support was a nightmare, too, so I'm sure she's a little wrong in the head in some places. She might miss a few senses.
She's slow and unreliable at times, but I'd had lost my sanity if it wasn't for her. I'm sure she knows this.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308736
And I thought $1.5K computer was breaking the bank.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308736

>she cost like $5000 to build

Did you have alienware make it for you?

[Anonymous No.]

Moderately attractive MILF with the mind of a toddler since I just reformatted.

Do not want.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308765
>>11308756
I built her a while ago, haven't needed to upgrade for a long time. It feels good to be the 1%

[Anonymous No.]

All this talk reminds me of this

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

A very old and very slow, lumbering cute girl. At least she's cute, eh?

I love my poor old comp and would gladly make love to it but I really need a new one.

[Serkit !eSpvUDpflw No.]

clean and plain-looking

[Anonymous No.]

old, surly, and prone to strokes.

[Anonymous No.]

I have a Christmas cake server who is always trying to improve herself. She is 20 years old. We had a daughteru (My pc is built out of parts from my server) she is 3 years old. I adopted a laptop from a pawn shop trashcan 8 years ago

[Anonymous No.]

Flat-chested athletic genki girl who's always carrying a backpack.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308871
>Christmas cake
>She is 20 years old.
>We had a daughteru

I don't think you understand the concept of Christmas Cake

[Anonymous No.]

Loli, because my computer is some weird miniature model of a PC. She likes hard to find clothes and accessories, because I swear it's impossible to find components for this thing. She sometimes passes out, although very rarely.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11310025
Perhaps he's talking in computer years. Like dog years.

[Anonymous No.]

Elder sister that looks out for me so I don't go outside and get hurt. Sometimes gets flustered when I ask for too much too quickly and faints, but is otherwise very patient.
She's neat on appearances but in reality is quite messy and aloof.

[Anonymous No.]

A young and reliable meth dealer.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11310067
I guess in that case it'd only take 5 years.

[Anonymous No.]

A reliable young combination secretary and meth dealer.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

She would be 10 years old, and very very frail and sick. But she would still let me do ero things to her for many many hours before requiring rest, even though it's painful. She's devoted.

[Anonymous No.]

MILF with an eating problem.

[Anonymous No.]

She'd be nine years old and incapable of doing anything the newer computers can do. I get frustrated with her low performance but she tries her best and I love her for it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308674
This is what I imagined mine to be but with a lot of bandages because of the repairs and upgrades.

[Anonymous No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>11310422
I want to kidnap a little girl and fuck her outside of town and then bury her in a forest.

[Anonymous No.]

>>11310432
I know, right?

[Anonymous No.]

Back when I was an edgy teenager, I considered my computer to be as much of an influence and guardian as my parents were.

As I grew up, I considered her more to be my girlfriend/lover, since I spend all my time on it and watch porn/play eroge all day.

I'm pretty pleased with this development. It's like I have an incestual relationship with my self-built PC. So my PC would probably be an attractive older woman. She'd also have some serious "hardware."

[Anonymous No.]

>>11307091
that doesnt sound very cute

[Anonymous No.]

>>11308594
a purse?

[Anonymous No.]

Rebellious teenager who's good at stuff. Causes other computers in her vicinity to shit themselves (every computer in the house is currently shot)

[Anonymous No.]

A twintail (dual core) tsundere maid who hates that her master is such a pervert