Gentlemen, I must ask you a question

[Anonymous No.]

Dear fellow gentlemen of /jp/

I am quite intrigued by the Ladies of Gensokyo, the land itself, and the culture behind it. I really do.
However, I am certainly frustrated by the fact that the official canon of the venerable Touhou Project is, in fact, a bullet-hell or 'danmaku' shooter game.

I must apologize in advance for any rudeness I might cause, but danmaku is less than ideal to what I call enjoyment. I think I'm a gamer to a certain extent, if I dare say so myself. But I am not exactly a skilled one. The fact that the official canon is made up of 13+ danmaku games is like a nightmare for me, who just wanted to enjoy the stories and court with the ladies.

For instance, there was one time I wanted to court with this venerable lady, Patchouli Knowledge, but the gatekeeper just keep kicking my posterior over and over, to the point that I can't stand it. After that, I started to resort to fanon, drawn Doujinshi, and give up on official Danmaku game forever.

After years of indulging myself in drawn stories of Gensokyo, I think it is time for me to get back in gaming. However, I have sworn over my mother's grave that I will not join the rank of Danmaku again, since human, while having endless possibilities, should know when to stop.

So, fellow gentlemen, will you be kind enough, and provide me with some great doujin game? It would be great if you provided me with just the title, but even more fabulous if it is available via the vast and wonderful world of internet, since going to the market and purchasing physical copy is not an option.

Thanks in advance, kind gentlemen

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609367
Get some balls and start 1ccing the games if you truly want to "court" your lady.

[Anonymous No.]

Can't even make it to stage 4...

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609370
Dude, you aren't even answering this dear gentleman's question. Being rude won't make anyone listen to you. You must be more classy to join our conversation.

/jp/ is no place for rude 14 years old, only classy British gentleman.
I'm looking forward to witness your improvement, young man.

[Anonymous No.]

Unlikely very...faabulous

[Anonymous No.]

Gentleman, have you tried the non-danmaku invention Touhou 12.3? It's gentleman friendly, I think you will do fine, dear sir.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609367
Stop that, you are low born muck and always will be.

[Anonymous No.]

Too bad, dear sir, you have visited the wrong neighborhood.
Every /jp/ can fires danmaku with an eyepatch on, while eating spaghetti with nose, with the screen upside down, and can reach the chamber of Lady Flandre with ease. Being good at useless stuff is pride and joy of /jp/ and you just offended that by not being so. No amount of apology will save you from the wrath of the hood, sir.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609405
Go right back to FB and stay there.
Posting ebin meemeers doesn't entitle you to come here and shit your secondary newfaggotry all over the Internet. FB will let you post all the "share dis post and spred the meemee!" garbage you want, so you obviously have nothing to gain here. Now go.

[Anonymous No.]

Wow everyone is so mad over anon who is just bad at game. This amuses me greatly gentleman.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609389
I've no intention of stooping as low as the secondary's plebeian standards unless they're able to button their cuffs and start 1ccing the games on Normal or higher of their own accord.
Do you even score etc.

[Anonymous No.]

I have something to confess /jp/

I'm actually not that good at danmaku. Well, not to the point of losing to Meiling in easy, but obviously not kick-ass awesome. Just your average gamer that can beat Yuyuko when she was not looking, get the NEET princess out of her room and get my ass kicked by Flandre. I just pretends to be great because everyone on /jp/ seems to do so.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609389
>only classy British gentleman.
It's funny because /jp/ is filled with Americans, Hispanics, and Slavs.

[Anonymous No.]

Unwilling to work your butt off and now asking the /jp/sies, who all finished the games at least once under the price of tears and blood, to provide you with the glorious information of Touhou-doujingames made for people who enjoy the originals as well?
Stop with your lame excuses for being lazy and stop being brazen.
A mid-level of articulation won't help if the main message of your text-bomb is insulting to the boss called /jp/. You won't be able to 1cc internet with an attitude like that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609489
As long as you don't complain about it and try it over again, it's fine.
We'll be by your side to celebrate together the first time you beat Flandre.

[Anonymous No.]

This thread taught me how to make /jp/ mad. Now do the same to /b/

[Anonymous No.]

Labyrinth of Touhou is an excellent dungeon crawler. The game will repeatedly kick your ass though, so if you're a casual I wouldn't reccommend playing it.

[Anonymous No.]

Problem with this thread.

1: offended every /jp/ ever by admitted to disliking danmaku
2: losing to china
3: implying that /jp/ played danmaku because of hot chicks. no we are not, we played because we like danmaku, the waifus are merely bonuses. even if 2hu is filled with ugly old men characters we will still totally play it.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
>even if 2hu is filled with ugly old men characters we will still totally play it.
Hey, I don't know about that.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
you are full of shit. please count how many threads you have about gameplay then count how many you have about lewd touhou which2hu2fuck etc

[Anonymous No.]

1 minute in google.
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Fangames

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
>we played because we like danmaku, the waifus are merely bonuses. even if 2hu is filled with ugly old men characters we will still totally play it.

I like your shitposting style

[Anonymous No.]

Play the fighting games.

[Anonymous No.]

tl;dr

[Anonymous No.]

OP was too long, so I didn't read it.

That's probably a good thing, though, since it almost certainly cringeworthy and probably a shitty troll.

So I guess it worked out.

[Anonymous No.]

I just wondered why tl;dr even existed.
You know, we are all human. We are members of the society. We all are going or used to go to school, read 500 pages of thick textbooks every semester. And when we graduated, we have to read the whole McDonald's manual before getting a job there. We read gazillion of pages before we came here, and we can't read paragraphs worth of gentleman rambling? Come on dude.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609624
>read 500 pages of thick textbooks every semester. And when we graduated, we have to read the whole McDonald's manual before getting a job there. We read gazillion of pages before we came here,

Speak for yourself man

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609624
tl;dr lol

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
>even if 2hu is filled with ugly old men characters we will still totally play it.
Uwabami Breakers. Go play it. Accept the fact that lots of fans are into Touhou for fapping and waifus.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609639

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609367
Some advice from someone else who is less than skilled at 2hu.
1. Use fullscreen mode. The sprites may look ugly and stretched, but it's so much easier to see what you're doing.
2. Use a gamepad (I use an Xbox controller). The fluidity of movement you get from analogue sticks makes things so much easier when compared with the jerky movement you get from a keyboard. In my experience anyway.

On top of that, I'd recommend playing IN until you can beat it on normal, then you'll unlock the spell practice mode where you can work on the particular skills you're lacking without having to play through entire stages to reach the bosses. After that, you can go back and play the earlier games.

[Anonymous No.]

>I think I'm a gamer to a certain extent, if I dare say so myself.
Stop calling yourself a gamer as if you deserve a medal for it. You sit on you couch/chair and slay monsters in a fairy land. I'm fucking sick of all this "I played video games for 10 years. See how I now what I'm talking about." Nothing differentiates you from girls who go "lol I'm such a nerd, right."

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
>we played because we like danmaku, the waifus are merely bonuses. even if 2hu is filled with ugly old men characters we will still totally play it.

This looks a lot like sarcasm to me, so please treat it as one, people. You know you did NOT play touhou because you liked going pichu-n hundred of times a week.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609367
>I am
>I really do.

[Anonymous No.]

Posting in a Gentlemen thread.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609690
Why would you play games that you don't like. Get the fuck out.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609624
Nobody is paying me to read your OP. There will not be a quiz. We could read it if we wanted, but nobody cares enough.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609725
Great post. It was a pleasure to read. Laughed really hard. Please post more in the future.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609743
You are awesome too, I literally rofled. Why don't you create your own Youtube channel.

[Anonymous No.]

Play DynaMarisa3D or Defend the library if you want Patchouli.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609367
Shut up. Fuck you.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609743
What the fuck is wrong with you?

[Anonymous No.]

More like 2hard

[Anonymous No.]

I can't even make it past the first paragraph. What a try-hard. Go back to whatever board you spawned from.

[Anonymous No.]

I'm from /a/ and I like Reimu. I also like Marisa and Cirno but imo Haruhi is better than all of them.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609851
2hu4u

[Anonymous No.]

I found your post refreshing, funny, well thought, and clever.

You don't belong to /jp/. Get out. Sorry.

[Anonymous No.]

Please, try to at least learn most of the canon, don't become that "(9)(9)(9)(9) PETTAN PETTAN!" guy. You can 1cc IN normal pretty easily with regular practice, so I recommend you at least try to 1cc IN (no extra lives) normal.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609933
seriously?
I managed to 1cc EoSD and MoF, but I can't even get past Reisen....

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609367
All this elaborate post just to say

>provide me with some great doujin game?

I don't even know what that means.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609460
Look at this buttmad turbonerd.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609961
I know rite? Whoever doing this is actually pretty damn clever. Elaborate, well-thought out plan all because he can't spends 2 seconds on Google. While the cause is stupid, the outcome is pretty funny.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
I go through the danmaku because I like the ``plot'' and the characters.

[Anonymous No.]

Genius of Sappheiros if RPGs are good enough for you.

Although if you really want to court your youkai ladies, a danmaku game is not gonna stop you. Work your way around or cheat or look stuff up on youtube, or... you know... read official works.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609993
But you CAN go through it, right?
You HAVE 1cc'd the games in order to see the ending?

[Anonymous No.]

Confession time /jp/

The game I have beaten on normal are only PCB and IN because there was that slow-mo feature.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610009
I have yet to play Ten Desires.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609966
Look at this Facebook refugee trying so hard to fit in. It's adorable.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610009
I'm Thai

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610001
> read official works.
Please don't do this. They are boring and empty and stupid as hell.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610152
Yet they have more info about the ladies and the canon.
>They are boring and empty and stupid as hell.
ZUN can't into writing. Even game settings look silly.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610164
>Yet they have more info about the ladies and the canon.
Honestly I'm not sure about this...

[Anonymous No.]

Iif you don't like the STGs, don't play them. Don't be like the majority of the "primates" here and force yourself to play Normal only to have some false sense of superiority among others. Clearing the games on Normal isn't an achievement. Clearing the games on Lunatic isn't either. If that's all you have and try to claim to be better than OP, please kill yourself.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610167
For example, how Mokou obtained immortality and the origin of hakkero.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610177
Not worth it. Every secondary knows more about it from tons of doujins, srsly.
But whatever, if you like canon works I'm glad for you. Otherwise, see >>10610172

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610172
It's technically impossible to clear on anything less than normal because the early games only go up to boss five then give you the bad end.

[Anonymous No.]

If you looks closely, OP was a fag the first twenties or so reply, but now OP starts to shine and actually make us reflect on our action. Not to mention many jp should be so very butthurted right now according to >>10610172

I agree, don't play danmaku if you don't enjoy it. There are gazillions of fan Touhou contents out there that is based on canon and not danmaku.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610181
well my previous post correlated with this line
>Although if you really want to court your youkai ladies
If you're not into this and only enjoy the game (not the story), who am I to stop you?

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609514
but... but... everyone ignored me when I 1cc EoSD in lunatic, it was my first lunatic 1cc ever =,(

[Anonymous No.]

Holy shit, I just realized something TERRIBLE
Think about this guys, let's say you want patchy for waifu.
>Patchy is an S
>you beat her up
>S doesn't like getting beaten
>she hates you
>prospective waifu lost forever
I think hardcore danmaku players might get hated and they don't even know it.
They kick their potential waifu's ass, and then wonder why they are single.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610263
What if my waifu is Tenshi who likes to get ass kicked ?

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610263
Cartoons don't have feelings, autistic retard.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609445
>can reach the chamber of Lady Flandre with ease

It's not exactly difficult to reach her, especially since you effectively have 9 bombs and 3 lives to use in doing so.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610270
You racist. All /jp/ supports 2D marriage. Go back to Texas you homophobic conservative gun fanatic Bush fan.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609645
Analog sticks are grossly inaccurate compared to a d-pad.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610268
Tenshi shows up in fighter, which is similar in meaning to wanting to get abused.
It is radically easier to kick her ass than other danmaku exclusive characters so maybe it doesn't count.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610096
You seem to be very knowledgeable of that site. Did you get tired of it and decided to look for a new place? Sorry, shitstains like you don't really belong here.

[Anonymous No.]

Gentleman OP isn't even here.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610318
I'm here dear sir. Come, let's discuss magic, fanarts and beer. British gentlemen to British gentlemen.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610328
>you will never get British Touhou

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610328
>British gentleman to British gentleman.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610333
Choose between the Scarlets or Alice.

[Anonymous No.]

This thread has so much fabulous, fabulousness, and fabulousity.

[Kaiba No.]

>>10609367

[Kaiba No.]

>anti-sync

[Kaiba No.]

[Kaiba No.]

>>10610362

[Anonymous No.]

but danmaku are fun

[Kaiba No.]

>>10610263
>>10610263
>>10610263
>>10610263
>>10610263
>>10610263

[Kaiba No.]

>moot

[Kaiba No.]

>>10610378

[Kaiba No.]

>>10609367

[Kaiba No.]

[Anonymous No.]

>>10610392
>>10610371
>>10610362
>>10610263
>sample
Kill you're self.

[Anonymous No.]

>>10609571
>Problem with this thread.
>you

[Anonymous No.]

You could always just play the fighting games.