/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hail America!

>being an americlap

My condolences.

I killed the fourth of july.

I went out and bought freedom burgers and justice juice.

THESE DUDES AREN'T READY, BROTHER

>>9300027
>Diet

Get out of my country, Terrorist Hippie Atheist

>>9300019
I feasted on hamburgers, french fries, and chinese food

>>9300027
>diet
Looks like we got a fake American around here.

>>9300027
wtf that's pepsi!!!

>>9300036
>>9300038
>>9300039
C-come at me bro!

GREATEST THREAD IN THE HISTORY OF OUR BOARD!

I'm having fajitas tonight, god bless America for inventing Mexican food.

>wrasslin on /jp/

It's like you don't want me to go to bed.

>>9300047
It's okay, I wont judge you for liking diet anon.

>>9300070
Is /wooo/ on /jp/ a work, brother?

sup /woo/

>>9300066
And mayonnaise sushi!

I fight for your freedom and this is how you treat me? By saying I'm not a real American?

God hates America you fag enabler. By rejecting the faith of your forefathers you have doomed your country.

>>9300125
Faith is a joke, and you should feel bad.

Reimu Hakurei, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.
I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your Main Character status, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don’t hate you, Reimu. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most Touhous in this game.

I hate this idea that you’re the best. Because you’re not. I’m the best. I’m the best in this series. There’s one thing you’re better at than I am and that’s kissing Zun's ass.

You’re as good as kissing Zun's ass as Sanae was. I don’t know if you’re as good as Marisa though. She’s a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I’m breaking the fourth wall!
I am the best Touhou in this series.

I’ve been the best since day one when I flew into Highly Responsive to Prayers. And I’ve been vilified and hated since that day because Primary fans saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That’s right, I’m a Primary fan girl. You know who else was a Primary fan girl? Sakuya. And she split just like I’m splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Sakuya is I’m going to leave with Main Character Status.

I’ve grabbed so many of Zun's brass rings that it’s finally dawned on me that there just that, they’re completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost 16 years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best in this game, in this series, even in doujins! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I’m not on your lovely little icons. I’m not on the cover of any game. I’m barely referenced. I don't get to be in future games. I’m certainly not on any crappy official comic no one reads. I’m not on the poster of Hisoutensoku. I’m not on the splash screen that’s produced at the start of the game. I’m not at Comiket. I’m not at Reitaisai. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn’t sour grapes. But the fact that Youmu was a main character in a game last year and I’m not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you’re the ones who are playing those games right now. You’re the ones that buy those comics that my face isn’t on the cover of. And then at five in the morning in your basement, you try to scan it to your computers and show it off to your internet buddies and try to sell it on Ebay because you’re too lazy to go get a real job.

I’m leaving with Main Character Status on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I’ll be a main character for a VN. Maybe…I’ll go straight to a Madoka Spin off.

Hey, Homu, how you doing?

The reason I’m leaving is you people. Because after I’m gone, you’re still going to pour money into this game. I’m just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Zun is going to make money despite himself. He’s a thousandaire who should be a milllionaire. You know why he’s not a millionaire? Because he surrounds himself with moe-loving, non-sensical, autistic secondaries, like the majority of /jp/, who’s going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this game will better after Zun is dead. But the fact is, it’s going to be taken over by his idiotic wife and his doofus future children and the rest of his stupid fans.

Let me tell you a personal story about Zun alright. We do this whole trip to Germany...

200 year old yogurt has more culture than USA

LISTEN HERE, ZUN-SAMA THAT SANAE CHICK AIN'T READY FOR THE BIG TIME, TOMO. WHAT HAS SHE DONE FOR THIS BUSINESS, OTOKO? LEMME TELL YOU WHAT SHE HASN'T DONE, JAKKU, SHE HASN'T SHOT THROUGH THE 80000000 POUND SUIKA IN FRONT OF 2902010000 SCREAMING NEETS. SANAE CAN'T WORK THE SECONDARIES, TOMOOTOKOJAKKU. PUSH MY GIRL REIMU INSTEAD, NOW SHE CAN DRAW.

>creation of something better than you'll ever be?

Real shame it does not exist anymore