/jp/ - Otaku Culture

i can reheat

I would love to learn how to cook, but I can't afford to being a NEET and all. I still love to watch youtube cooking videos so I can cook japanese food someday.

>>9043178
Soups aren't that expensive, really.......
Even lots of the fancy ones.

>>9043178
What the hell do you eat?

Who iron chef here?

yes

Of course I do. I must.

Most prepared food available for buying is very expensive where I live. The problem is that I know a very few recipes actually, and I eat the same thing almost daily. And I suck at cooking also.

I fucking hate cooking, but I love eating. I also have terrible, terrible acid reflux, heartburn, and lately, bad nausea after eating. I also get to enjoy the food twice, when my asshole, afflicted by a 5 year anal fissure that hurts like fuck, which the doctor can't seem to fix despite all the money I pay him.


I really outta just get it over with.

Yes. I love to cook.

>>9043178
Learning to cook isn't expensive. It's the perfect hobby for a NEET.

I can successfully fry an egg most of the time. That's cooking, right?

>>9043178
her face when I made excellent mapo tofu

Let me rephrase.
/jp/, do you even beyond-basic cook?

No, the extent of my culinary skills is putting something in the microwave.

>>9043201
I'd cook for you with pleasure.
I know almost all the recipes of my local cuisine, but I can easily come up with delicious recipes given I have enough ingredients.
These past 2 weeks I've only eaten bread though... but payday is coming!

>>9043207
>>9043207

>5 year anal fissure

Have you tried to actually stop fucking your ass with objects?

>>9043191
Mainly cereal, cheap vegetables and fruits. And whenever I finally do get spare cash, I spend it on alcohol and finger foods.

>>9043215
I'm pretty happy with the stuff I can already make.

>>9043220
That sounds delightful, actually.
There will be a place for you at the /jp/ mansion.

>>9043221

Fuck you.

I hate to play internet tough guy, but I wish I could cut your asshole up with a knife and then let you enjoy all the pleasure of tearing yourself apart while having a bowel movement, cunt. Unlike most people here, I don't play with my asshole.

>>9043215
What do you consider basic? For a lot of people, their extent of cooking is mixing together two pre-prepared food items. For me cooking is basically preparing a piece of meat or vegetables to eat.

>>9043223
Cooking would be cheaper than that.

No, I survive solely on toast and noodles. Maybe some baked beans from time to time.

This one time, I put some vegetable oil in a pan, then added a flat piece of meat I'd bought the day before. I set the stove to "make fire appear" and waited for, I don't know, ten or twenty minutes. Then it was dark so I took it out and ate it.

That was probably my finest moment, /ck/, don't ruin it for me.

>>9043230
"I can fry an egg, so I can cook!" is...basic.
Preparing foods, making sauces, that'd be the next thing up, would include using packeted pre-prepared things.

After that, it goes further and further in complexity...

So like, take curry as an example.
There's pre-made curry powders, but they aren't as strong as making the powders yourself right?
Some of the differences may seem small, but the actual outcome in flavour is very large.

>>9043234
>>9043234

You want to fight me bitch?

>>9043254
If you freshly grind your own peppercorns and cardamoms when making curry it will probably come out better, but nobody does that.

>>9043255
I just want to point out that you don't appear to be in peak physical condition, and your best available weapon is your ability to crush those smaller than you by jumping on them.

Cooking is for women and homosexuals.

Also not /jp/ related

would report, but NSJ doesn't care if something is related or not.

>>9043255

Tony?

>>9043234
Have you tried increasing your fiber intake, or drinking more caffeinated drinks? Anything that might make your shit more pliable?

>>9043243
Oh, just stuff like that? Hell yes I do that.

>>9043266

Yes.

It makes me shit more, and it hurts horribly. Only thing that worked was nitroglycerin cream to speed up the healing, but I'm running out of that, and it's not really working any more.

>>9043268
So what do you eat?

>>9043263
>that feel when I'm no longer a person because nobody does that

>>9043268
>cooking is for women and homosexuals.
Being a faggot, you must know a lot about cooking then.

>>9043268
>cooking is for women and homosexuals.
You must cook then, because you're obviously a faggot.

>>9043274

Whatever your mom cooks me after I'm done fucking her in the ass.

>>9043289
Very funny. But what do you actually eat?

There's nothing nicer than taking a leisurely trip to a market to scope out the sales and purchase some ingredients that are in season and on sale, and then turn them into a dish. I prefer baking and making other kinds of sweets more than anything else though. When I think of all the different types of desserts my mind just goes on and on, but whne I think of meat-based or main course meals, I always draw blanks.

So usually when I cook this means I end up making a pretty normal meal with a nice dessert. Sometimes it looks like dessert with a side of meat.

>>9043291
What if they're a monster, and they don't eat?

>>9043295
Whoever heard of a monster that doesn't eat people?

That's just ludicrous.

>>9043272
Ugh. Sorry to hear that.

of course. i'm european.

I wish a /jp/er would cook me omurice and write cute things on it.

>>9043305
I COULD, but then it'd be creepy.....
You know, what with the home invasion and everything

>>9043299

Women in third world countries do that every day, it would probably get old quickly.

>>9043299

>There's nothing nicer than taking a leisurely trip to a market to scope out the sales and purchase some ingredients that are in season and on sale, and then turn them into a dish.

Actually, I can think of thousands of things that are nicer than that, including shitposting on /jp/.

>>9043354
Thanks for sharing.

>>9043356

Get fucked, nerd.

I can make pancakes and peanut butter sandwiches.

>>9043156

Yes, as a matter of fact I can... I thought it was a requirement for being a proper man.

whenever I'm cooking for people, katsu curry is my go-to dish. a friend of mine makes amazingly good okonomiyaki, I really want her to teach me her secrets.

>>9043406
YES! FINALLY A RESPONSE I WAS HOPING FOR!!!
Geez....... so many people these days just don't get it ;_;

I try to teach myself to cook new recipes every now and then. I do it in expectation of some far-off day when I can surprise a bunch of people and they tell me, "Wow Anon! You're such a great cook!" It's probably futile, since I'd never surround myself with people in the first place.

I do this with a lot of things. I used to be really into competitive Pokemon, but instead of making the teams that would be the most efficient at winning, I'd make them based on technical, unique and "beautiful" strategies. But after consistently losing and hardly ever receiving compliments on my teams, I lost the will to keep up with it. Back when I played FFXI, I absolutely had to have unique job/subjob combinations that nobody else played, even when I myself knew that more common combinations would be more practical. I think I have some kind of emotional disorder. Disorders.

>>9043412
Ask her, make a date of it

Cooking is one of my hobbies.
I entertain the idea of me becoming a househusband to a hardworking, beautiful business woman one day. I wish to be a good homemaker. /jp/ should learn how to cook if they ever wish to become a good wife/husband/maid.
It's not too hard or expensive, just give it a try and read some cook books or watch youtube cooking channels. I like older cook books because they give tips on how to please your spouse and teach you how to be a good wife(husband) along with the recipes.

However, I usually only cook for just myself. Cooking delicious meals and putting a lot of work into them only to eat dinner by yourself can become rather lonely and grating. I wish I had someone to cook for.

I can cook instant noodles.
In fact I am the master of instant noodles.

>>9043489
You can prepare them, not cook them -_-

>>9043587
Nah nigger, it's literally the same fucking thing >-_-

>>9043610
>thinks adding water to instantshit is cooking
get out badfag

>>9043623
Go add water to some rice and put it in a "cooker", kiddo. While it "cooks" you might want to do something about the dildo stuck in your ass, and while you're at it kill yourself.

>>9043639
That's the thing though, you don't eat JUST rice, it's simply a base that you add on to.

>>9043639
>thinks they're smart because they have a basic grasp of the english language

I made seiten and spring vegetable stuffed pitas with a tandoori sauce today.

>>9043676
Did you use yoghurt, or......?

>>9043660
Here, I'll help you out with both the English language and the quote function, reference below:

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cook?show=1
>cook
>verb
>to prepare food for eating especially by means of heat

GET MAD NERD LMAO

>>9043685

greek yoghurt + paste, then I added a bit of tumeric and sriracha for an added kick. Spicy food is good at boosting base metabolic rate and produces endorphins, so it makes for good NEET chow.

>>9043698
>food
'lol it keeps me going, somehow, while slowly killing me over time' does not count as food.

>>9043406

>I thought it was a requirement for being a proper man.

Girls are supposed to cook, you're just a little faggot disguising himself as a "man".

>>9043707
>food
>noun
>material consisting essentially of protein, carbohydrate, and fat used in the body of an organism to sustain growth, repair, and vital processes and to furnish energy; also : such food together with supplementary substances (as minerals, vitamins, and condiments)

This is as far as I go, if you want more lessons you'll have to pay me.

>>9043705
well, more than being good for NEETs, it's just good all round I guess
And it WAS greek yoghurt eh....

I keep meaning to try other ones, but I never get around to it >.<

>>9043709
>'I thought it was a requirement for being a proper man.'
They're correct, what you're thinking of is 'manchild'

>>9043716
>'I can't cook because I'm a lazy fuck, so I'll have to discredit people who can'
I really can't take your side in this bro.

>>9043718

Do you like dicks in your mouth?

Because that is what cooking is if you're a male. Cooking is for girls and gays. But since you're probably a homo, it's okay for you to cook, little boy bitch.

>>9043730
Oh look, it's the faggot from earlier.
How's your boyfriend?
What did you cook for him last night?

>>9043730
So what do you eat?

>>9043730

Enjoy arteriosclerosis from all of the processed shit, bro.

>>9043736

You seem confused, ass clown. You're mom made me ravioli after I fucked her in the ass and then pulled out to shoot in her pussy so you could have a little sister-don't let her kick your ass when she becomes 3 years old there, stepson.

>>9043739
No, seriously, what do you eat?

>>9043739
Don't have a mother, congrats on your over use of LSD.

>>9043738

Things that your mom cooks for me, you stupid nerd. We've been over this. Your mom isn't a very good cook though, I need a new one.

Pic related, it's a mom that can cook unlike yours.

>>9043752
Yes, but I'm waiting for an honest answer.

I'm genuinely curious about what you eat on a daily basis.

>>9043752
What are you even on /jp/ for troll?
Did /b/ kick you out?

>>9043759

It depends on what your mom cooks me, it's different everyday, you stupid faggot. Like I said, she just made me ravioli. She also baked some bread earlier today, but she burnt one of the loaves, so I had to beat the shit out of her.

Pic relates, it's you're mom.

>>9043769
No, honestly, what do you eat on a daily basis?

It's not that hard a question to answer, so I don't see why you insist on avoiding it.

>>9043769
>mfw the troll says he fucks something that disgusting

>>9043759
Fruits, vegetables, tuna, beans, oats, nuts, milk, protein powder and vitamins.

>>9043783
What exactly are you trying to achieve here?

>>9043790
gb2/fit/

>>9043783

You think that's the ONLY mom I fuck? I fuck yours too. A man's gotta eat. But if he cooks, he's a gay homo. I hope you understand.

>>9043797
Ask an honest question, get an honest answer. Don't be mad that we're not all pencil necked geeks like you around here. Be mad that you spend time cooking when you don't need to.

>>9043806
That's not me. I was just wondering.

Historically all chefs were male.

>>9043799
So, basically, there are millions of men that are manlier than you, but because they're not too fat to get up and cook, they're homosexual.

>>9043799
Look at this closeted homolord, I bet he doesn't even grill.

>>9043816

Yes, cooking takes some hardcore calorie burning. I can't even imagine how much that skillet weighs, bitch boy.

How many fatty cooks have you seen before in your life? Because I've seen a lot of them, and one of them is your mom. Just because I'm not effeminate enough to waste my time cooking doesn't make me fat, silly nerd. Learn the difference-it could save your life when your mom stops supporting you to come live with me and get a daily dose of my cock. Don't worry though-I'll abandon her and leave with you with a brand new baby sister to take care of.

>>9043822
Not that guy, but I have two grills, three if you count the offset smoker. One propane and one charcoal.

>>9043826
Depending on the pan, it can actually weigh a lot, especially if it's filled with something. Cast iron cookware in particular is heavy. A cast iron dutch oven filled with something is going to weigh quite a lot.

>>9043910

very interesting homo, that must make it easier for you to get a steady grip on the side of your bed when your boyfriend rails your asshole.

>>9043917
For heavy pans I actually don't move them as much as the lighter ones. I mostly use cast iron for things like steak or frying, since they hold temperature nicely. If it's something that I'll need to be moving the pan for, I'll use my stainless steel pan. That's a lot lighter.

Back when I was in grade school I would help my older brother prepare food for grill outs and what not. After doing that so much I picked up how bqq and prepare dishes along with other things. Recently I have gotten into baking and making pastries and things of that sort its quite fun. My advice is to experiment with what you know.