/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Most of the time yes

No.

No

you bet!

No, I'll never be a catgirl

No

Better than ever. I got all the things person could want. Except true love towards anyone. Since everyone i truly loved, are dead. And i tried to save them.

I hate myself. But that doesn't stop me from getting drunk!

;_;

Yes. I'm content with the life I'm living right now. If I didn't like something in my life, I would do something about it. I feel very capable of doing things.

>>8800782
This.
Why are people so beta?
If you don't like your life go and change it.
Only thing that is stopping you is yourself.

Well unless you want to live in a another world.
Then the only way is escapism

No, but the uneasy truce I have with myself works fine as long as I don't leave the house.

>>8800756
Yes, because I'm attending university and will likely get a good job I enjoy involving math or programming and probably make good money and perhaps even one day meet someone, fall in love and raise a family with.

>>8800782
>>8800850
this.

the only thing I'm unhappy about is my poor health condition, but 仕方ない

I'm dropping our of college to become a NEET.

I think I'll finally be able to say with confidence I'm happy with my situation.

no ;_;

No, but I dont care enough to change myself. I guess I should contact doctor or someone.

No.
I hate myself and wish I could want to do something.
I'm not living for anything. I am a hateful wretch.
I'm only going to college so I can dig a hole to crawl into before I die.
I'm so tired of living without any hope.
I don't deserve my dreams.

I think I can safely say that I don't give two fucks about this kind of thing anymore.

>>8800782

what if your ultimate dream is doing nothing all day and living off a vast inheritance? Is there some way I can go accomplish this, instead of having to waste my time in school for a stupid degree so I can go get a stupid, miserable job that does not involve illegal substances or welfare or insurance fraud?

>>8801094
Sure. Be born to rich parents.

No, but it's not like I'm sad about it. That just means that I see room to improve. If I was satisfied with myself I wouldn't try to get better right?

>>8800756
Because your all 3D faggots.

Fucking cyberaboos.

I'm happier than i've ever been

I'm not happy at all

not happy at all

No, half of my life is escapism and the other half is misery. Fuck off with your off topic thread, I don't want to be reminded.

>>8801094

Your dream is my reality.

[/spoiler]Stop reminding me that I don't even deserve to be unhappy.

The other day my shrink asked me to list off things about myself that were good. It felt like half the session was me being silent and him waiting for me to answer.

I am neither happy nor unhappy.

I don't like the current state of affairs but that's the answer to a different question.

Blog culture, etc.

For the most part.

Not at the moment. No. That's why I'm drinking and smoking again. And looping the same song.

Cheers, /jp/

Not really, no.

test

No, since a young age, I've been quite sick and as a result, I think I might be on my way out soon. I have no money for a doctor and no insurance (I do but you need to spend 2K before it kicks in, which is bullshit).
I'm in college and a separate university, double majoring and while my future would be bright, I think my health is going to keep spiraling downwards; I've lost 30 pounds this month alone.
I'm not unhappy, I guess I'm just unlucky.

Myself? Yes. My life? No.

>>8802745

That was pretty deep man. Short but deep.

Amazingly happy ever since I stopped being a cog in the works and started being a wrench.

Time to take your Zoloft /jp/.

>>8802795

I don't do drugs, dude...

They make me forget about my depression and just place fake ideas into my head to elude me from how shit my reality really is.

>>8802831

>They make me forget about my depression and just place fake ideas into my head to elude me from how shit my reality really is

That's the best you're going to get from anything. Do you think VNs, anime, manga or video games are any different?

Reality is ironically all about getting away from reality.

Mildly so, yes.

I could do something about the things I dislike, but not if I want to continue living. If I stay at a place where I completely avoid any and all human contact, well, there's any number of reasons why my lifespan will start to grow much shorter.

But many times, I've thought that even if I only got to live for another day or two, it'd be worth it as long as I can have that... Heck, even if I spend a week dying of hunger and dehydration, or even if I get eaten by a wild animal, I think I'll take it.

I should be happy, but I don't think I am.

My parents are very understanding and realize that I hate socializing and I'm socially crippled, so they allow me to sponge off them and anything extra that I want to buy I can easily get from doing online work, but for some reason I don't feel particularly happy.

I'm living the dream as far as I can tell and there's nothing that I want to do. I mean, if I really wanted to go outside and socialize then I could easily acquire drugs like benzos, ecstasy, stimulants, or opiates through the silkroad and any of those would probably make me capable of socializing without fear, but I just don't like talking to people.

What is wrong with me, /jp/? I'm such an ungrateful piece of shit. Objectively I should love my life so much because I'm living the life I've always wanted and I have no worries and yet I just can't seem to feel happy. I feel no negative emotions like loneliness or sadness, but I don't feel the positive ones either. It's just kind of nothing.

What is wrong with me?

Good lord no.

No
My life seems to be a waste of resources and my mom won't shut up about how much she had already experienced by the time she was my age. Everyone in this world seems to have something they can exploit about themselves, be it intelligence, luck, social ability, just something. Feels like I'm a defected model.

I'm like a bitter old man just waiting to die, I wonder how much longer I can live this way before it's unbearable.

>>8802866
>I'm such an ungrateful piece of shit.

And there's your problem. You feel guilty.

>>8802745

Very well put anon, I feel the same way.

I'm miserable with my circumstances. I am so incredibly jealous of everyone on here who has such loving parents, I just get to have a crazy old feminist mother with too many god damn animals she expects me to take care of. Every day, I hear screaming. I'm probably going to have to check myself into a mental ward just so I can score some autism bucks and some housing so I retain some semblance of sanity. Shame, too, I used to outright reject that idea.

>>8802874
>waste of resources

All human lives are a waste of resources.

>>8801094
My parents give me enough money to do that.

>>8802795
I wish
Worthless fucking doctors won't even give me pills, like they enjoy seeing me suffer.

I want to escape reality

>>8802887

Only guilty about not being happy though. Not sure why I can't just be happy and then that guilt would go away.

>>8802919
Smoke weed/take shrooms/take peyote or acid/take DMT
this is in order of power (more or less), from weakest to strongest; do this if you want to escape reality and come back with a new view of life. do all, some or none, just a tip.

>>8802907
Just think of her as your personal slave, not as a human being. That works for me at least.

No!

you bet!

>>8802973
Pretty sure I saw this post in the top of the thread earlier...

On topic, I'm miserable with my life like everyone else here pretty much.

Not even close.

I hate myself more than everything else I've ever hated combined. Might be because I can hardly find a way to hate anything else. People have blamed me for so much that I just got used to it and started doing it too.

At least instead of doing something ridiculously stupid today, I only decided to drug myself again and ignore it. Maybe someday I'll have the courage to talk back and get myself kicked out so I can finally have a break from this hell. Even if it's only to go into a different hell.

>are you happy with yourselves?
Probably not, but if I've not seen this thread I wouldn't be thinking about it.

I think all of you just need to find some purpose in your life. Of course life has no fundamental purpose or objective, there is nothing that you have to do, but you can still create your own purpose that you personally find appealing. Simply living isn't enough, you need to have something that you're passionate about to make you wake up and greet the morning with excitement.

I believe that everyone has something that fills them with passion, usually some hobby, interest, or lifestyle. You just need to find what fills you with passion and focus your energy on it.

Personally I just became a shaman. Not a shaman in a traditional sense, but more like a reclusive hikki shaman. I knew that I felt no urge to go outside regularly and talk to people, I knew that there was no traditional career that I wanted to follow, but I have always felt drawn to primitive spirituality and mysticism. So I started growing psychedelics in my closet, started to meditate daily, and began to spend a lot of my time exploring the world that those things offered me.

My constant apathy and sadness went away and each day I woke up with a smile on my face because I knew that I was spending my day doing what I was passionate about.

>>8801048
Been a neet for about months. Life is great.

not yet...
soon

used to be but no so much anymore

>>8803005

>I hate myself more than everything else I've ever hated combined.
>People have blamed me for so much that I just got used to it and started doing it too.

Have you considered trying to accept the insults of others from a position of stoicism?

I've dealt with similar attacks from family members who have disapproved of the path that I follow in my life, but I found that there is no need to strike back or to hate yourself or anyone else. There are no lack of justifications for hatred, it seems perfectly reasonable to hate people who hurt you, but hatred really only hurts yourself. Hatred does nothing but eat away at you.

>Maybe someday I'll have the courage to talk back and get myself kicked out so I can finally have a break from this hell. Even if it's only to go into a different hell.

Suffering is part of living and it is unavoidable. You can strike back at people who are making you suffer and you can leave them, but suffering will continuously reappear for the rest of your life. Situations that bring pain and misery are just part of life, but it's very similar to quicksand in how struggling and fighting against it will only make it worse.

Fighting it, bottling it up, or trying to escape it does nothing. Only through accepting suffering and becoming indifferent towards it can you live a happy life without hatred or pain.

The only power that suffering has is the power that you give it. You can stoically stand there and receive the insulting words that people throw at you without allowing them to harm you emotionally. Fighting back does nothing but escalate the problem. Whenever you feel upset just take a deep breath and calmly observe the emergence and dissipation of your emotions as if you were watching clouds.

>>8802866
You are missing something in your life,Good luck finding out what it is.
>>8802874
She probably just wants to motivate you to do something with your life, try to explain her better about your feelings in a open talk.
>>8802907
Try to move out no matter how,from your story I doubt even if you would talk with your mom that she would understand you.
>>8803002
sounds nice if you are truly happy , and a living proof that it doesn't takes much to be happy
>>8803005
The first thing you should do is start respecting yourself more and learn to talk back to people.standing and accepting would be like the worst thing you can do, and it doesn't takes much to start building up your confidence.

>>8803168

I've done that for a long time. After a while, I just broke. Maybe I always was letting things get to me and just bottled it up instead of showing it. But I don't know another way. I feel like if I'm not accepted by someone else, my life isn't even worth it. It's hard to not hate myself unless I'm talking to people online. Even if everyone online would hate me too if they knew me in real life (whether that's true or not doesn't matter, I can't know for sure either way), it's different online and people still like me a bit.

I wish I could just not have things make me emotional. But I don't know how to do that. I've always been a very emotional person. But even talking to anonymous people on /jp/ makes me feel better. Suffering through things my entire life is expected, but it still doesn't make it any easier to go through the same suffering for years. A change of pace would really help, but I won't be able to have that for a long time. Knowing that makes it even harder.

Yes! I found a neat NEET board.

http://neet.cerealexperiments.com/

>>8803205

>I feel like if I'm not accepted by someone else, my life isn't even worth it.
>I wish I could just not have things make me emotional.

Have you tried meditation? I practice meditation daily and it helps a lot with these things.

There's an overall sense of peace and learning to accept and love yourself that comes from regular meditation. While I wouldn't say that I'm a Buddhist, I've implemented many useful things from Buddhism into my life and it has helped a lot with these issues.

For example, I live in a home where my family hates me for the way that I live and because I'm a NEET I have no real way to leave either. I used to feel a lot of self-hatred, depression, and this overall sense of being trapped in a place that constantly made me suffer, but meditation and learning to take that position of being an impartial observer of my own emotions has lead to me being far more emotionally stable and I can live in a place like this without being upset by it.

The whole purpose of these practices are to help you find peace and happiness in a lifestyle that would normally bring constant suffering and in that way I believe that meditation and introspection are some of the most beneficial things that a NEET or a hikki could do.

>>8803304

I used to do yoga every day. It was really relaxing. Not the same as meditating, but it helped me clear my head while doing something physical so I'm not just sitting around.

Okay, starting tomorrow I will again and see if it helps. I don't think meditating would work. I literally don't know how to calm my thoughts down. They are at full speed all the time unless I have something else to concentrate on. Starting now would be great, but I'm kind of drunk and I don't want to hurt myself. I'll write it down so I don't forget when I wake up.

Thank you for helping me remember that. I doubt that I can see my life any better by viewing it in an unbiased and unemotional way. Sometimes I do feel confident in myself even when I have no reason to. Objectively, I should just give up and do everything everyone else expects me to with my life. I don't want to start thinking that way again. If I were to start thinking about things in a way that effects my emotions again after that, I would probably kill myself. I was too close to that already.

>>8802969
That doesn't really work when you're bombarded with cognitive dissonance. I have to do work or else I get kicked out, but while I'm working I'm screamed at about how it's too late and I'm going to get kicked out anyway. I'm constantly terrified that if I ever stop at least pretending to take it seriously, she'll actually follow through on it.

No, I'm just trying to survive.

>>8803172
I have to agree with you on this one.