/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hi squiddy, how are you today?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCDIYvFmgW8

hi

i watn a /jp/ woman to de the kara butt dance for me

Girl shitposter here. Yes I'm a girl and yes we shitpost too.

I've made 6 gloryhole threads today to further my goal in turning /jp/ gay, what have you done?

>>8150712
I fucked a man today, just to make you happy.

>>8150712
hey gurl you on fb? hit me up or twitter @meduckashittaposta

>>8150718
I'm so happy right now you wouldn't believe. Give us some details though, how big was his cock? Did you use any lube, spit even?

>>8150727
i had an anal prolapse once, but i'm still pretty tight down there. i'm actually not gay, i just do this sometime to make girls like you happy. i took him real hard, my favorite position is when he lies flat on his stomach and i lie right on top of him and drill my cock into his juicy ass. it was pretty tight, he said it hurt at first, but we didn't take any lube. if you want to, you can join us if that's your fantasy. we would take good care of your ass, too.

This thread makes me feel nothing.

fujoshi /a/non here just travelling in.

I thought that /jp/ would have less females than even /a/, and never really tried this place because of that.

Maybe I should stay abit longer.

>>8150736
It kinda arouses me. Dirty fujoshi trying to manipulate me to become a cockwhore is my fetish.

>>8150739
Hi squiddy

MtF on HRT reporting in

Not a girl, but just passing by. Ask me anything.

>>8150744
Who is this squiddy

I am forever /a/non on 4chan. Even when I was told I should create a trip for abit on a /a/ chat thing, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

>>8150761
You should get a secure tripcode with lots of alt symbols and a girly name, so everyone remembers your posts!

>>8150756
Would you suck my cock, dude?

>>8150756
Why are moe-harem fanboys so critical of yaoi fangirls fetishes, even when the yaoi fangirl doesn't spam it everywhere?

Reporting in! Don't hit on me boys!

Wonder if any of these are samefag.

Anyway, how long have the rest of you ladies been coming to 4chan, and do you remember what prompted it? Any other oldfags like me?

For me it was around or slightly after the /u/ board was created, whenever that was, and mostly came for the images at first. You're now looking at the oldest image in my Yuri folder (well, the oldest after a couple of HD crashes).

(true fact: I used to be a semi-well known tripfag dumper of images there under the name Miss Deep)

>>8150777
Not flat enough

>>8150772

desire to rage at girls from the safety of the other side of a comuter + ewwwww yucky buttsecks

I'd guess.

>>8150777
you lie

>>8150781

>>8150777
until I clicked on it, I thought from seeing the thumbnail that that was an oppai mousepad.

>>8150781
>look at me guis me MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME i have e-reputation look at me oh my god look at me MEEEEEE

>/a/ is boring today
>Guess I'll just browse /jp/, I have no interest in Touhou but they usually stay on topic, use SAGE correctly and have interesting discussions
>I'm A GURL :D DON'T HIT ON ME SILLY BOYS XD
>facebook attentionwhore cancer
>/soc/ shit
>/b/ shit

Really, /jp/? Really? Not even /a/ is this bad (yet)

>>8150797
Yeah, sorry about that, we're going through a phase right now, you may go back to N/a/ruto.

>>8150781
I've been here since 2008.

I still don't really consider that oldfaggotry, even though that seems to be "oldfag" quality on 4chan.

Time to share some nightmarish horror stories with y'all /tg/. I'm no writefag, so forgive me if this isn't really up to shnuff, I'm not trying to produce literature here, just relay events. I started putting this old tale into writing during the Tall-Man thread. That was like... Six hours ago, I was interrupted by a few episodes of Monk.

Our DM is an artsy type, but not in an interesting way. He likes verisimilitude more than useful information. He's like the Tolkien of Dms. We've often badgered him about his style of running things. He likes making worlds, and then turning us loose in them. We happen to prefer adventure modules, and whatnot. So after a particularly harsh heckling (which I regret,) he offers to run us something very special, in the mode that we seem to prefer. We agree, though I fully expect some more of his mediocre twattle.

So, we start out in this shitty little town in his world's analogue to dark age Germany. It's gray, wet, there's a lot of mud, everyone is dirt poor, all the peasants are insular and taciturn around foreigners. We groan several times as we begin... But learn that we're actually on our way through. On our way to... Persia-Rome or something, on a mission to recover some sort of artifact. The guy sending us gives us rations, supplies, and what he called “Karthaki marching powder,” which we understood to be a joke expy of cocaine. A good start.

>>8150797
Are you that new that you can't recognize shitposting when you see it?

>>8150796
Who are you quoting

Well, we head out, and pass through some sort of black forest, and then a dreary swamp with incredibly dense fog, where he has us seriously make eight spot and listen checks. Every once in a while pausing for like three minutes at a time, and asking if we had any more modifiers to add. As usual, his descriptions of the surrounding area is incredibly articulate, sometimes bordering on the poetic. It had been corny most of the time, but this time it worked... Because this time it wasn't just hollow detail. There were things to notice. Cryptic but alluring hints towards the nature of... Something. We didn't know what it was, there was no hint towards what it was we were supposed to be learning about, only that there was something. Something fast, something slick, something twisting and limp, but taut and strong that was... Pursuing. Not us, but chasing something, something that, a moment later, took on its traits.

I can't even begin to describe it. We actually forgot for a moment that we were supposed to be playing. We were hypnotized. He shook us out of it, all of a sudden, with orcs, that cartwheeled and spun out of the swamp, dragging moisture from the air back into the swamp as they emerged, dragging gore from the ground back into their bodies into closing wounds as they did, losing pallor and glazed expression to take on the green vibrance of life, and psychically drawing weapons to them from the ground and brackish water. We killed them, throwing them back into the water directly from whence they came, and re-opened their wounds for them.

We were pretty sure that was it, after that. We met some weird folk after that, like an elf who refused to walk on the wet stone of the road through the swamp, to the point of laying down two squares of wood to walk upon as he went, and talking entirely in paradox. Eventually, we took the wooden planks away from him, and broke them when he tried to take them back. If he kept walking so slowly, he'd get his ass killed by zombie orcs, right? The mook just sat down and started crying after that, but we kept going.
Sounds like pretty standard faire, doesn't it? Oh, we thought so too. We complimented the DM at the end of the session, for a job well done. He had really gotten us with those zombie orcs. Really creepy. Heheheheh... Oh, but it only got worse there from there.


We arrived... in a village. A little village, on the outskirts of the country we were supposed to be entering.
Do you remember the bit about how good he was at describing shit? Well he brought us to tears here. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever heard put into words before. He described the most idyllic and wonderful place imaginable. It was a golden town, full of vibrant life and surrounded by flowing wheat. The people came up and greeted us, welcoming us to their little town. All the men were friendly and offered us lodging and hospitality, and all the women were long-braided and beautiful, with ample bosoms and wide eyes...

Every home had a bronze symbol of the sun with a grinning face on it nailed to the door, and every street corner had women twirling slowly on the spot, dancing in the joy of the daytime, and the people all moved in rhythm, taking long steps every two or three seconds of walking, sidestepping as they spoke. Very musical people, too, they were always humming.
It was good stuff, so we figured we'd stay around for a while, to check everything out. We go to the inn, and get ourselves some rooms. We chat up the townsfolk, and we learn that the town is called Kar-Tordek. I think this is a laugh, and decide that I'm in this town for the bitches, so I convince three of the women to sleep with me (they are, of course, a promiscuous people whose religion revolves around how awesome strangers are. Go figure.)

So, the rest of the crew follows suit, and we all wake up surrounded by tits. We head out into the street, and... start noticing things. For one thing, the same women are dancing on the same street corners. Everybody greets us by name with elaborate greetings. Nobody just says “hi.” Nobody just says “good morning.” They say “May the light of the lord of light shine on you.” or “Welcome to the dawn of His glorious day.” It doesn't take us long to realize that the DM is talking entirely in rhythm with the music that's playing in the background. He had been since the first moment. The townsfolk were all speaking in meter. Dee-duh dee-duh dee-duh dee-duh dee-duh, like a heartbeat. We start freaking out, because we KNEW that something was wrong with this fucking place, somewhere in the back of our minds we knew that there had to be. We're all over that shit in a heartbeat, we start asking questions.

The local lord is a sorcerer, but all of the damn lords in this place are sorcerers.
The gray marshes that we passed through are terrifying places that nobody likes traveling through. Well no shit.
The primary crop is gravewheat, which only grows on ground watered with human blood. Sounds like a good crop to be pl-OH WAIT. YEAH.
So the cleric starts detecting evil. EVERYTHING shows up. Everything. The dirt? Evil. The people? Evil. The houses? Evil. The DM asks for a spot check, which he's been doing for a while now, though we hadn't really given it much thought after the first thirty times.

For once, he sits up straight, and all of a sudden says “you notice that the man speaking to you has no eyes. None of them do.”

even though this thread is pointless thanks to anonymous message board,
I wish I knew women who were into things /jp/ because then I could actually make videos.

Because ZUN refuses to make male touhous who are not Rinnosuke.

There is a full ten seconds of silence, before he adds, “they never did.” He then begins to elaborate upon what else they did and didn't have. The list was elaborate, and traumatizing. The end result, boneless, toothless, eyeless, with long rubbery limbs and gray flesh. What we had mistaken for braids on the women had been long, blackened tongues. Tongues, he said, that we had grown rather accustomed to during the night there. We start freaking out about halfway through that last bit.
I smash the one we're talking to's face in with a morningstar. The sorcerer turns around and lights the little gang of “women” that had been following us on fire. Some of them, covered in ragged cloaks of human skin attack, some begin flailing about like lunatics, screeching and cackling and talking backwards. Instead of attacking, they would rub up against us, shuddering and slivering and boneless, moving into our way when we tried to flee, and taking our blows like they were nothing, until we had hewn them to bits.
It was sick, and unnerving, and it didn't make any sense, but we fucking killed them all. We fucking killed them all. Every single one of them, we cleared that village out one goddamn building at a time, killing their lipless horrors and the little sharp-toothed ones that gnawed at our ankles and jumped out of dark corners, and the ones that grabbed our legs, and the ones that would throw themselves at us while others flanked around or ran off, to ambush us later. We killed them all, and ended the threat.

But we knew what the root of the problem was. It was the wheat. The gravewheat. It must've been corrupting the people with foul necromancy. So we painted warnings on the buildings, left notes for anybody who might have come, warned them of what would happen if they ate the stuff. And then we lit the fields on fire, and left. The DM ended our third session there, and congratulated us on a job well done. The next session, though, he showed up with a Dark Heresy book. We had been wanting to play that for a long time, and he said he had brought character sheets and everything, and we had all had our fill of horror. Gruesome death was one thing, but that stuff was just... surreal. Too much. So, we purged some heretics from then on. Didn't take one look back at D&D for a few months.

>>8150819
Are you trying to make live action Touhou videos? Please jump into the nearest sun.

Then, we came back. Not to the same campaign, nobody mentioned it again. The DM had us roll up characters, and had us start out in the same little town we began in before. We're all a bit worried, but he raises our spirits by informing us that it is fall. It had been spring when we had departed last time. It wasn't just a start-over, it was something different. Good stuff. We get almost the precise same starting equipment as the first group from almost the exact same quest-giving priest. We don't get the marching powder though, which was good, it had struck me as a bit goofy anyway.
So... we're going on our merry little way down the swamp road. We don't run into any orcs, which is good, but we do find... An elf. With broken legs. The emaciated, starved corpse of an elf with broken legs. Clearly orc work. We proceed, and get what amounts to the single darkest moment in the entire history of my gaming life. We find the town.

>>8150827
No. The girls could be ham beasts for all I care.
I'd just need the voices.

I'm the Epic Rap Battles of Gensokyo guy.

Burned black. Scorched Earth. The surrounding fields are little more than ashes and soot worn down by fall rain into a slurry. The sky is dark, it is dusk, but we proceed through the early evening with torches, and investigate the town. It is the scene... Of unspeakable carnage. A hundred people killed like animals. Weaponless men, hewn down as they tried to defend their families, women butchered as they attempted to clear the escapes of their children. Infants, trapped in corners and run through, monks wearing the white robes of pacifists, who had clearly tried to grapple and pin down their assailants, beaten down and split open with repeated, unnecessary, horrible mutilating strikes.
And the buildings. The buildings were covered with writings, in blood, gibberings and the frothing babble of madmen, rhyming rhythmic mournful furious meanderings that made no sense, but read clearly nonetheless, for they all had something in common.
Like one long, grand verse, they were written in iambic pentameter.

...So, we try reading the stuff on the wall.
It's gibberish. But we read it. It rhymes, it's incredibly fucked up sounding. The DM busts out a piece of paper that is very, very nearly black with text, and reads it. It's the closest thing to the sound of madness I've ever heard. If I had a copy of it, It'd post every word of it here, and there must've been 800 words on that sheet, the text was microscopic. It was... incredibly. I don't even know what it was, because the rhyme scheme made no sense, but flowed anyway. It was like each burst of five, there would be either one or two rhymes, but it went on for so long that we stopped listening to it.
We stopped paying attention to what he was saying. So when he started describing the three figures, gaunt and lanky, still holding the morningstar and sword, hands still wreathed in flame, that were lowering themselves behind us, narrated even as it happened on the wall, we didn't notice. Didn't notice until he stood up and started screaming it at us, one word at a time. At that point, even he was sweating, one of the players was crying. It was genuinely the most terrifying thing imaginable. He had already destroyed us with a calm voice and an even face. Now, he brought it home. We didn't even roll initiative.

>>8150751
Finally a real woman.

>>8150826
Sweet copypasta friend.

That's some creative DnDing. It just shows what you can do with spot checks, although I'm guessing there was a massive amount of that Lord's sorcery involved because how the fuck would you miss something having eyes or not?

It's also never explained what the deal with that elf and his boards was. Maybe he just didn't wanna touch bloody evil dirt or whatever. The faggot.

>>8150840
I think the deal with the elf was that the original party, already high on drugs, came and broke his legs, leaving him to die.

>>8150843
Yeah, I didn't think it was continuing. But damn yo, that's some storytelling.

>/tg/ copypasta

WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BROWSING /jp/, /tg/? WE'RE THROUGH! YOUR MOD.. HE'S JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME, I CAN NEVER COMMIT TO A MAN WITH SUCH A CONTROLLING MOD! IMAGINING LIFE WITH A STEP-MOD LIKE THAT MAKES ME PHYSICALLY ILL!

IT'LL JUST NEVER WORK OUT. JUST.. JUST GO ;_;

>>8150849
It's probably for the best...

>>8150734
Stop it anon, you're making me wet!

>>8150781
Posted on /a/ before the split for touhou exclusively.

Oldest I remember saving was when The Magic of Skirts was first translated in early 2008. I still have those same files.

/tg/ thread?

Well... okay /jp/...

if you insist.

>>8150834
There are plenty of girls into Touhou. The catch is that they're all disgusting and bothersome, like any other woman. A substantial personality does a lot for a voice, and barely any girls have one. I wish I had a nickel for every joint I smoked trying to figure out why these /jp/ girls I know think they do a good Cirno, and it all came down to their gender. You should be looking for feminine boys. They at least "get" Touhou, you know?

>>8150859
would you say it was single handedly The Magic Of Skirts that made you develop your love for gay boys?

>>8150866
Well, fuck.

Guess I should open the floor for touhou-loving traps then.

Staring out through the viewport I could see the Terran armada in its full view. Everything about their species was alien and strange, even to their starship design, very bulky and rough unlike the sleek and elegant designs of my race. The sight of the fleet was also of course a deliberate display of military might.

This was surprisingly to Luva Kut Ata: The humans were actually capable of some element of subtlety.

His attention was caught by the arrival of the human naval commander whom he was to deal with. The weathered and aging specimen of a man bared his teeth and asked him if he wished a drink, to which Luva declined and spoke.

“I’m only here for formalities commander and to tell you that we have relinquished control of all the requested colonies and submitted the asked upon research data. As per our agreement the human armada will withdraw from the orbit of all our planets.”

The human nods his head and utters a sound of agreement

“If that is all Commander, I believe I will take my leave.”

Before I could leave the human tells me to sit and relax. He makes it sound as though I have the choice to disobey his commands.

He stares at me and the first thing I notice is the intensity of his eyes, despite his outward appearance this is not a man who is used to not getting his way. Something a bit poetic about the nature of humanity I think in that.

He asks me if I’m a bit on edge, and actually asks how I’m doing.

In my mistake I told him:

“My apologies commander, all of this is still a bit of a shock to me if I may say.”

The human asks how so.

“We’ve been colonizing space much earlier than your species. Our population, galactic spread and technology is-well it was greater than yours. Your species still has HOMEWORLD NATION STATES and STILL you have won. Despite everything my people did to yours, all the early victories and devastation we wrought you still pulled a victory. No other species in the galaxy would have continued the fight against such odds. How did your people know you would end the victors?”

The human chuckles and sarcastically quips that his race didn’t know.

The surrealism of the moment had me speechless.

After a long pause, the human stands up and walks towards the viewport and stares out into space. He asks me if I had by any knowledge of the ancient human empires of Rome and Carthage.

“I do not, what significance do they have?”

>>8150867
Well not by itself, but it was the starting point at least. I didn't become a full gay boy lover until I discovered poju later.

He then regaled to me a tale, an ancient one that is quite possibly a Terran parable. He explained to me how Carthage despite its dominant regional position of power was threatened by the growing city of Rome. He explains how they went to war and how Rome suffered many great and humiliating defeats.

He went on to explain how even though the people of Rome wept and languished there was never any talk of surrender or capitulation. Every step of the way they resisted, they learned from their defeats, learned from their enemies and raised new armies and new fleets and eventually overwhelmed Carthage through sheer tenacity.

The moral of this parable he lectures to me as though I were a hatchling was that a stubborn and uncompromising vision was humanity’s greatest strength and that they simply wanted to win more than my species, nothing more.

“And if one day my species decides they want it more than yours?” I shot back

This time the human bursts out with a deep and loud laugh and wishes me luck.

As I was led back to my shuttle I turned and asked him whatever happened to the City of Carthage.

The human stared with those same intense eyes

“It was burned to the ground and its lands salted”

>>8150873
Um, I said "feminine boys," not traps.

>>8150890
It's all the same shit.

>>8150866
Yay generalizations.

Also one thing thats always amused me about otaku misogyny is that if their waifu (the one that they idealize so much) heard what they were saying, they'd probably break their face. I am particularly talking about most of the touhou cast when I say this.

>>8150890
Was closer to an disgruntled joke than an actual generalization.

I have no expectations to ever actually find enough people to do voices.

>>8150893
No, gender dysphoria makes a big difference.

I once knew a girl that played Touhou.

She actually seemed like a genuinely decent person. Like, the type to not identify gender on /jp/.

Despite me having a somewhat low powerlevel, I still tried to hide some of it when I spoke to her. Either way, she ended up not talking me anymore and I can't figure why.

>>8150909

Sometimes people just move on and drop their previous contacts for no real reason, Anon. I very much doubt she stopped talking to you "because" of anything, it just happened. Don't be so self conscious!

This is assuming you are not in fact a creepy neckbeard in real life, which I guess is possible but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt

>>8150909
Maybe you should get back in touch with her, anon.

I don't see how you guys can fantasize about sucking off little boys. Little boys are meant to be fucked, they're too passive to be on top. If you tried sucking the dick of a little boy (which would incidentally be tiny, probably smaller than your own dick), he'd be resistant at first, only gradually submitting to the pleasure, until he would surrender and let you do all the work, and you'd just be wrapping your lips around his small shota cock until his hips starts shaking a little, your hear some girly moans, and feel a small load being deposited in your mouth. After swallowing, you'd look up and see him lying there, completely exhausted and breathing heavily.

If you suck of a futa, however.. You'd be overwhelmed seeing that huge dick in front of you, wondering if you'd even manage to fit it in your mouth. Somehow, you'd manage to get it in, inch by inch, but feeling overwhelmed by the huge presence inside of you. The girl might be a little shy at first if she's never done it before, but her sexual instincts would take over, and soon she'd be grabbing your hair and pushing you further towards her cock and making it impossible to pull it out, even if you wanted to. By the time she's ready to cum, she would, completely without warning, shove it as deep down your throat as she could, and with your face pressed tightly to her crotch, you'd feel her thick, warm sperm invading your throat and filling up your stomach. When she finally finishes, she lets go, and you can finally pull away and get some fresh air. She starts apologizing for getting carried away, and when you look up, you see that she's blushing for showing such a side to you. Overwhelmed by how adorable she is, you get up from your knees and hug her tightly. At which point you notice something hard pressing against you and realize that her boner still hasn't gone down at all.

In the military, there are buff men who haven't jerked off in days. They see the new, girly /jp/ recruit, with his soft skin and shoulder length hair. They watch him constantly, his round ass bouncing through training, and always help him. They haven't seen a woman since the start of their 4 year career. One day, they all gang up on him in the shower. One of them grabs his tiny penis between his thumb and forefinger, and he instantly goes weak in the legs from the touch. He falls back into their warm, hairy embrace. They lift him to their face. 'W...Why?' he asks, sounding almost like a girl. They don't answer, or at least, not with words. He feels a penis, larger than he ever thought possible between his ass cheeks. Holding him and moving him, they fuck him in between his ass cheeks, the heat of his shaft rubbing his tight, moistening anus. When the man is about to orgasm, he sprays his seed all over /jp/. Another man grabs him, this time turning him over. /jp/ struggles but cannot resist. He slowly enters /jp/ as /jp/ moans with ecstasy, his virgin penis spraying clear liquids all over the floor. Another man quiets the moaning by ramming his 11 inch penis down /jp/s throat, fucking his moist throat. Eventually he orgasms into his mouth, milking the last drops of delicious semen into /jp/'s stomach. The man behind /jp/ orgasms too, filling /jp/ with warm seed, making his belly swell. /jp/ collapses, the men around him circle up and start jacking off, showering him with warm seed. Where does this story end? JOIN THE ARMY.

What makes Tsukihime better than FSN is the atsmosphere, you can feel the danger , the drama, the mindfuck.The music does a better job to add to the atmosphere than FSN.The characters interactions are so superior to the character interactions of FSN that it hurts,and the slice of life segments and Shirou's Pov are fucking annoying.FSN plot is too forced at times, some times they lead to plot holes,weak plot or unexplainable developments.Tsukihime's plot flows better, it's simple and credible..
Tsukihime's plot is also more mature, each resolution have more weight to them 1) Arc and Shiki didn't end up in good terms in Ciel's True End, 2) After every single of the Far Side of the Moon routes, Arc and Ciel will keep hunting Roa, 3) Akiha ends up as a doll in one ending, 4) Akiha and Kohaku die in another end, 5) Hisui's Good End wasn't precisely happy. In F/sn, only 2 characters couldn't be saved: 1) Ilya in UBW, 2) Saber and Ilya in HF.
Shirou never actually shows his resolve when it comes to deal with people who are prepared to kill,and the story does not have serious and mature Masters - aside from Zōken-and the only time Shirou had to confront one of his friends, was in HF against Black Saber. Shiki, on the other hand, had to fight Arc, Ciel, Akiha, and Satsuki at some point - there's also the point when he realises all what Kohaku has been doing.
FSN is just too light and aimed at teenagers. That why the dark and cold as ice Tsukihime is superior.

A girl at my school LOVES Touhou, shes a real sweetheart actually.

But she's quite unattractive (overweight, pimply, her head is shaped very oddly) and I wouldn't be caught dead hanging out with her. I'd prefer a stupid but pretty girl than someone who shares my interests, which makes sense because my interests are pretend pretty girls.

Hank: So, uh, this morning i caught Bobby watching *Japanese Cartoons* on the computer. It was just a bunch of pink and sparkles and little girls with alien eyes. I tell ya, that boy ain’t right.

Dale: Sounds like a classic gray alien to me. You know they’ve already invaded human society in a plot to enslave us all.

Boomhauer:Youknowdemjapanesecartoonsmandemboomboompowninjamagicdemgatdangsushirolls
anddemtentaclecomcisman. Lolis.

Bill: I knew a guy on the army base who liked to watch Japanese cartoons in the computer lab. His captain caught him and he was discharged for being “undesirable”. What a shame.

Hank: But why would he be interested in asian cartoons? What ever happened to Superman – The Man of Steel, and the rest of the Justice League? And why would a boy be interested in watching little japanese girls have tea parties or arrange flowers?

Dale: It’s todays youth culture, Hank. They’re not interested in caped crusaders who fight for morality. They like the exotic and the sexually ambiguous.

Hank: Well i’ll be damned if i’m going to let Bobby turn into an oriental sissy. First thing tomorrow i’m taking him to the comic book store and buying him a Superman comic.

Bill: Oh! While you’re there, could you pick me up a copy of Azumanga Daioh? The computer lab guy said it was “kah-whhyyyy”

Hank: …..Go home Bill.

/jp/ - Squiddy Culture

Now listen here, fuckers. Learn the difference between JPG and PNG ALREADY.

- JPEG (pronounced jay-peg) is a most commonly used standard method of lossy compression for photographic images.

- PNG (Portable Network Graphics) is a losslessly compressed bitmap image format.

PNG is supposed to substitute GIF format, not JPG format you motherfuckers. For GIF, read “DRAWINGS, PAINTINGS, ICONS, etc” with a tiny palette. PNG IS LIKE A GIF WITH 65K COLOR, DUH.

So stoping saving your shitty PHOTOGRAPHS in PNG. IT WILL NOT IMPROVE THE QUALITY AT ALL, NOR WILL MAKE YOU LOOK COOL OR INDIE.

IF YOU WERE KILLED TOMORROW IN A TABLE RELATED ACCIDENT,
I WOULDNT GO TO YOUR FUNERAL BECAUSE ID BE SITTING ON A TABLE
　　　　　　　　　　∧＿∧　　　
　　　　　　　　　 （　´∀｀）　
　　　　　　　　／　　　　|　　　
　　　　　　　/ 　　　 　 .|　　　　　
　　　　　　 / "⌒ヽ |.ｲ |
　　　＿＿ |　　　.ノ | || |＿＿
　 .　　　 ノく＿＿つ∪∪　　 ＼
　　　＿（（＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_＼
　　 ￣￣ヽつ￣￣￣￣￣￣ | |￣
　　　＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿__| |
　　 ￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| |
WE TRUE TABLECATS
WE SIT TOGETHER
WE SIT TOGETHER ON A TABLE

Babby's first fucking stereotyped mainstream sell-out garbage autismal mediocre low-budget casual low-powerlevel ADHD hardsubs streamfag hyped spoon-fed otaku-pandering objectively bad aspie haremshit overrated DEEP deconstruction NTR cliche trope-filled generic ANGST mary sue underage escapist self-insert PLOT armor beta MC shonen edgy teenager gratuitous shock-value gore broken-powerlevels moeshit corporate product placement weeaboo kawaii uguu~ fetishist suspension of disbelief random asspulls garbage slutty waifu sakurafish Gainax bouncing fanservice NEET-pandering downs syndrome filler arcs beach onsen vapid 4kids dubbed censored episodes WORDSWORDSWORDSWORDSWORDS cutout sameface 1-dimensional yaoi fujoshitbait characters shipperfag yuri tsundere fanwank braindead insulting and poorly written rushed and atrocious inconsistent convoluted vocaloid pedoshit last-place-on-sale-charts nolstagia googles grimDERP nico-nico 2ch otaku-pandering suffering porn ahegao face consumerist kiddy casual pretentious failed experimental anti-USA nanking-rape denying trainwreck watered-down plothole-ridden homoshit Evangelion wannabe hollywood rip-off unoriginal yandere RAPE RAPE RAPE lol so randum/b/ xD uninteresting anticlimactic DROPPED shallow haircut character development cancerous butchered DEEN QUALITY 8 frames per second mouthflapping powerpoint slideshow outsourced korean putrid soulless CG animation photoshop-filter backgrounds poorly done adaptation hipster entry-level timeskip forced drama cop-out power of friendship deus ex machina predictable tearjerker TWEEST BONES original shit ending with circlejerking delusional and easily trollable flavor of the month general threads imagedumps tripfaggotry sadpanda.jpg vlcsnap shitkaku 4:3 14 inches CRT Mac monitor arrogant retarded Guy Fawkes mask facebook protests cosplayer dubs-obsessed fanbase that's killing the industry.

Go back to fucking GAIA/MAL/ANN.

Fact: All /a/ and /jp/ posting girls are either one of two things, or both:

1. Hideous or horrifically overweight, usually both
2. Colossal sluts, using their nerd status to pull in their choice of nerd cock (or dozens of nerd cocks at once)

2d will never be bested by such whores.

♥

The /tg/ pasta was entertaining.

>>8150963
Still unsure if male or female. I know a guy with hair like that.

>>8150962
What about all of the dickgirls? Don't leave them out, I'm sure they make up at least 15% of 4chan.

DEAR SIR,

I RECENTLY HAPPENED UPON YOUR MESSAGEBOARD POST IN WHICH YOU CLAIMED THAT ONE OF MY

DEAREST OBJECTS OF AFFECTION AND ENTHUSIASM WAS, IN FACT, INFERIOR AND UNWORTHY OF

ADMIRATION BY ANYONE OF TASTE. UPON READING YOUR UNCOUTH WORDS I WAS UTTERLY TAKEN BY AN

IMMEDIATE AND PARALYZING RAGE. SEIZING THE NEAREST PIECE OF COMPUTER MACHINERY, I FLUNG IT WITH

GREAT FORCE TOWARDS THE WINDOW IN A SCINTILLATING DISPLAY OF EXPLODING GLASS FRAGMENTS. AND

WHILE SEIZED BY THIS PAROXYSM, I PROCEEDED TO THOROUGHLY DESTROY ALL TECHNOLOGY WHICH

COULD POSSIBLY CONVEY YOUR MADDENING WORDS TO MY EYES, HOWLING AT THE VERY GODS FOR

BESTOWING THIS CRUEL FATE OF HATRED UPON ME. AS I WRITE THIS NOW FROM THE ALLEYWAY ON THE

CRUDEST OF BORROWED APPARATUS, A SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF, I CAN ONLY CURSE YOUR NAME, AND

RUE THE DAY ON WHICH I READ YOUR POST.

>>8150963
>>8150972
I just spent the last five minutes looking through my folders for the original version that doesn't say hi /jp/ but fuck it it's not like it'll stop anyone from replying.

>>8150974
Somewhere in between.

>MFW this thread
Back later. Maybe.

>>8150974

You mean traps/wannabe shemales?

they fall into the second category, because they are feminine enough to be considered attractive by such standards. However, they are indeed whores.

Let me set something straight for you ignorant faggots, and before I start let me tell you this is NOT some fucking copypasta just because your brain hurts from reading anything more than something at a 5th grade level, this is all hand typed for you little faggots who believe anything thrown at them.

With that said, 10 bit from 8bit is a realistic impossibility...plain and simple. Now you might say "ooohhh but Hi10p has been around in the H264 codec for years" or "But you dont need a 10bit depth monitor to view it". Both of those statements are true, however, Hi10p does not support TRUE 10 bit color depth, because it is LITERALLY impossible for it to exist within the h264 codec when the source is 8 bit. When you move from using 8 bits of color per pixel represented, to 10 bits per pixel, you are visually UPSCALING the color range, simply put...you are artificially bumping up the bits for each pixel. Much like lossy compression, this process is not exact. So while it technically DOES support 10bit color, the fact that it is merely an upscale from 8bit means that 10 bit colors will NEVER ACTUALLY BE DISPLAYED. This upscaling is also what is responsible for the supposed "Debanding effect" that Hi10p has, it DOES NOT make gradients look better, but rather it is because the data cannot fully be preserved in the bit-depth-upscale resulting in a blur of the entire image. Gradients are indeed affected by this, and it does remove the artifacts that plague them, HOWEVER it also results in an overall decrease in quality since they are NOT the only part of the image affected by this. The rest of the image suffers a major drop in quality because of this pseudo-10bit bullshit, and apparently so does the board when gullible faggots eat up anything Daiz tells them to.

>>8150987
don't forget the debilitating self-image issues that lead to near-constant drama and the need to validate themselves.

Usually through cock.

I'm sorry, but did the herp already derp? Oh, thats right. The hurr isnt even durr yet. In fact, is only derp. Does not having the lead at halftime count as a herp? Is that what youre saying? Because if youre saying that I can assure you that youâre derp. Why would you make this hurr when the durr is still herp? The Durr are still Hurring right now and they have been the best team in the Herp Derp for how many years now? They're playing one of the worst derps in the herp who just happen to have a durr because they're feeding off the energy of hurring in a herp derp. But you know what? They still fucking derp. The Hurrs are one of the best fucking herps in the Hurr Durr, they went Hurr-Durr last year and would of won the Herp Derp if the durr didn't herp. Maybe you should herp the fuck up before you derp retarded durrs like this. You know why? Because you're going to be embarrassed when the Durrs herp and someone bumps this topic. Oh look at that, the Hurrs just herped out of derps short of the hurr durr when they needed to derp one, just like the Herps did. Are you a fucking hurr? Are you retarded? Are you durr? You are a fucking derp and you should never herp a derp on this hurr again and I'm fucking serious. I almost have a feeling you're the only guy derping all these derp topics because you're a faggot durr who doesn't like the herp because they're derp. Fuck you, be good at something in YOUR life and then maybe try to derp these fucking hurrs on the durrs, like I give a herp. It's so easy to spot out your derps now, you're a durr. Always hurring stupid shit like this. Why don't you try to be a good derp? Just for once? For once in your fucking life try not to hurr a durr like this. That's just you, you're always right at derping it wrong. Fuck you. You are herp.

>>8150917
To be honest, I was pretty certain she was a lesbian, so I never tried anything.

But I understand what you're saying about people just not talking to each other anymore. I guess it's time to move on.

WIZARDS
A few unintelligible words and fleeting gestures carry more power
than a battleaxe, when they are the words and gestures of a wizard.
These simple acts make magic seem easy, but they only hint at the
time the wizard must spend poring over her spellbook preparing
each spell for casting, and the years before that spent in apprenticeship
to learn the arts of magic.
Wizards depend on intensive study to create their magic. They
examine musty old tomes, debate magical theory with their peers,
and practice minor magics whenever they can. For a wizard, magic is
not a talent but a difficult, rewarding art.
Adventures: Wizards conduct their adventures with caution and
forethought. When prepared, they can use their spells to devastating
effect. When caught by surprise, they are vulnerable. They seek
knowledge, power, and the resources to conduct their studies. They
may also have any of the noble or ignoble motivations that other
adventurers have.

Characteristics: The wizard’s strength is her spells. Everything
else is secondary. She learns new spells as she experiments and
grows in experience, and she can also learn them from other wizards.
In addition to learning new spells, a wizard can, over time,
learn to manipulate her spells so they go farther, work better, or are
improved in some other way.
Some wizards prefer to specialize in a certain type of magic.
Specialization makes a wizard more powerful in her chosen field,
but it denies her access to some of the spells that lie outside that
field. (See School Specialization, page 57.)
Like a sorcerer, a wizard can call a familiar—a small, magical
animal companion that serves her. For some wizards, their familiars
are their only true friends.
Alignment: Overall, wizards show a slight tendency toward law
over chaos because the study of magic rewards those who are
disciplined. Illusionists and transmuters, however, are masters of
deception and change, respectively. They favor chaos over law.

>>8150963
>Date taken: 2010/11/07 17:07

>>8150777
>Date taken: 2011/10/09 22:29

Nice try.

Religion: Wizards commonly revere Boccob (god of magic).
Some, especially necromancers or simply more misanthropic wizards,
prefer Wee Jas (goddess of death and magic). Evil necromancers
are known to worship Nerull (god of death). Wizards in general
are more devoted to their studies than to their spiritual sides.
Background: Wizards recognize each other as comrades or rivals.
Even wizards from very different cultures or magical traditions have
much in common because they all conform to the same laws of
magic. Unlike fighters or rogues, wizards see themselves as
members of a distinct, if diverse, group. In civilized lands where
wizards study in academies, schools, or guilds, wizards also identify
themselves and others according to membership in these formal
organizations. But while a guild magician may look down her nose
at a rustic wizard who learned his arts from a doddering hermit, she
nevertheless can’t deny the rustic’s identity as a wizard.
Races: Humans take to magic for any of various reasons: curiosity,
ambition, lust for power, or just personal inclination. Human
wizards tend to be practical innovators, creating new spells or using
old spells creatively.
Elves are enthralled by magic, and many of them become wizards
for love of the art. Elf wizards see themselves as artists, and they
hold magic in high regard as a wondrous mystery, as opposed to the
more pragmatic human wizards, who see magic more as a set of tools
or tricks.

Illusion magic comes so simply to gnomes that becoming an
illusionist is just natural to brighter and more talented ones. Gnome
wizards who don’t specialize in the school of illusion are rare, but
they don’t suffer under any special stigma.
Half-elf wizards feel both the elf’s attraction to magic and the
human’s drive to conquer and understand. Some of the most powerful
wizards are half-elves.
Dwarf and halfling wizards are rare because their societies don’t
encourage the study of magic. Half-orc wizards are rare because few
half-orcs have the brains necessary for wizardry.
Drow (evil, subterranean elves) often take up wizardry,
but wizards are quite rare among the savage humanoids.
Other Classes: Wizards prefer to work with
members of other classes. They love to cast their
spells from behind strong fighters, to “magic up”
rogues and send them out to scout, and to rely on
the divine healing of clerics. They may find
members of certain classes (such as sorcerers,
rogues, and bards) to be not quite serious
enough, but they’re not judgmental.
Role: The wizard’s role depends somewhat on
her spell selection, but most wizards share certain
similarities in function. They are among the most
offensively minded of the spellcasting classes, with a
broad range of options available for neutralizing
enemies. Some wizards provide great support to
their comrades by way of their spells, while others
may focus on divination or other facets of
wizardry.

GAME RULE
INFORMATION
Wizards have the following game
statistics.
Abilities: Intelligence determines
how powerful a spell a
wizard can cast, how many spells
she can cast, and how hard
those spells are to resist (see Spells, below). A
high Dexterity score is helpful for a wizard, who
typically wears little or no armor, because it
provides her with a bonus to Armor Class. A
good Constitution score gives a wizard extra
hit points, a resource that she is otherwise
very low on.
Alignment: Any.
Hit Die: d4.
Class Skills
The wizard’s class skills (and the key ability for each skill) are
Concentration (Con), Craft (Int), Decipher Script (Int), Knowledge
(all skills, taken individually) (Int), Profession (Wis), and Spellcraft
(Int). See Chapter 4: Skills for skill
descriptions.
Skill Points at 1st Level: (2 + Int
modifier) × 4.
Skill Points at Each Additional
Level: 2 + Int modifier.
Class Features
All of the following are class features
of the wizard.
Weapon and Armor Proficiency:
Wizards are proficient with the club,
dagger, heavy crossbow, light crossbow,
and quarterstaff, but not with any type of
armor or shield. Armor of any type
interferes with a wizard’s movements,
which can cause her spells with somatic
components to fail.

"Ple-please be gentle anon-kun... this is ... no, don't look there! ..."
Computer-chan leds turn red with embarrassment as I remove her tiny childish case. Her alluring private parts are spread before me; I move my crotch near it and feel the hot temperature through my pants... I can't hold on any longer. I rip apart my clothes and grab my erect member, plump with blood and ready to explode at any moment.
Computer-chan sees this gasps, and avoiding eyecontact, she speaks in a soft, almost inaudible and extremely embarrassed voice
"...it's okay to p-put it in my c-cpu fan..."
I'm way over my limit. I violently push my member against her precious chip. I know the fan will rip my cock apart in a matter of seconds, but my pelvis thrust forward without my consent.
I feel an incredible burning sensation, as if the top of my cock is melting against the CPU; it's too much. I ejaculate right away, unloading thousands of gygabites of my nut data into her processor, my orgasm overflowing my senses.
Unfortunately my burning cock is shred to pieces while I continue to cum. Blood and semen splatter everywhere inside the case, and I feel a horrifying buzzing and painful shock coming into my body through my penis. I am getting electrocuted. I am going to die, and I'm going to die while shortcutting the one I love. My body feels numb now, and my consciousness begins to fade. As I draw my last breath, I can hear Computer-chan's painful voice. She's dying too.
"I love you, anon-kun"
We embrace in our final moments, and suddenly my mom comes in without knocking, ruining the mood completely. This is the worst. I die in shame.

>>8150942

You know, it's not like I can fault someone for not being interested in someone who's physically unattractive, but preferring a pretty and stupid girl? Really? That is just the height of shallowness

I can't get it up to girls who are not my intellectual equivalents if not greater. True story

>>8151057
Intelligence is overrated.

>>8151233
Not as much as physical attractiveness is.