/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Sumo isn't actually real, the Japanese invented it in the 30s to confuse foreigners

>This is a serious question.

Than maybe you should go to the right board for it? >>>trv/

Reported.

>>6953628
Mod here.

I'll allow it

Ask Akebono. He did it.

>>6953628
>Asking a question about a Japanese sport/custom
>Go to the travel board.

>>6953637
You're right, he was being full retard.

You can go to >>>/sp/

>>6953637

Mm-hm.
Go ahead and pull out that other chestnut.

>Sumo wrestling has always been a part of /jp/!
>has been on /jp/ for a month, if that

>>6953637
He did say he wants to know how to get to Japan too. Thats like, 1/2 travel related.

Hey OP, take an airplane!

>>6953637
>OP asking a question about moving to japan.
>I told him to go to the travel board.
>Some autistic piece of shit who can't read correctly calls me retarded.

Is this where I say mfw? I'm not terribly adroit at being a useless faggot, so I must copy from others. I think I did it right with the greentext, but I'm not sure.

>>6953647
holy shit dude

>>6953647
>>6953645
>>6953644
>>6953642
>>6953628
OP here.

Damn you all get in a huff over very little, don't you?

Ok so my wording may have been a bit off, but I am basically asking about what it would take for me (as a westerner) to get into Sumo. I know very little about Japan, and I thought that the place to ask about such a thing would be /jp/. Clearly I'm wrong.

I'll let you all get back to your precious animu waifu threads or whatever it is you fill your time with here, because clearly, it isn't anything cultural.

>>6953662
The title is otaku culture, not Japanese culture. Big difference

Good trolling btw

>>6953662
Please delete your thread on your way out.

Dear /jp/
This is why you're all faggots.
Love /sp/

>>6953662
Dude, before assuming /jp/ would have any specific expertise on foreign Sumos, why not watch the foreign Sumos compete in the tournaments, unless you are Mongolian, Bulgerian or from Georgia, you are more than likely going to just get fucking dominated

>>6953681

Dear /sp/,

You probably didn't see our regular thread about how to apply makeup, suck cocks, and wear lingerie. Recommend you view it, and then do some serious consideration about not stating the obvious. Try not saying that the sky is blue, for example.

Love and peace,
Arcueid Brunestud, the First of Her Name

>>6953667
so you only discuss the faggotry within Japanese culture?

Gomenasai /b/, my name is Ken-Sama.

I'm a 36 year old American Otaku. I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, God Hand)

I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%

When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer for Square Enix!

I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in Japan!

>>6953642
fatslap is not a sport
>>>/jp/

>>6953685
>Love and peace,
>Arcueid Brunestud, the First of Her Name
AHAHAHAHA, tell me this isn't serious. Please tell me you're joking?

ITT: Weeaboos proving why they are not allowed to live in Japan.

>>6953694

It's funny because he's a black man.

>>6953693
I loled

Wake up already you useless meido.

don't even reply to shit like this, you dweebs

KAWAII UGUU
PIKACHU
HIROSHIMA

>>6953693
Why not, it's full of men rubbing up against each other?

>>6953694

My dear sir, I never joke.

Except for that one time.

>>6953685
>how to apply makeup, suck cocks, and wear lingerie
wait, you guys have trap threads on /jp/?

give us some links, /sp/ loves traps

RERCOME TO JAPAN, PREASE ENJOY ROUR STAY

Now this is an athlete

Dear /jp/,

You are all enormous faggots. the rest of 4chan hates you.

/sp/

>implying Clay Matthews couldn't beat the shit out of a fat man in a nappy

Howdy /a/, my name is Rawhide Kobayashi.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Japamerican (western culture fan for you foreigners). I brand and wrangle cattle on my ranch, and spend my days perfecting my craft and enjoying superior American passtimes. (Barbeque, Rodeo, Fireworks)

I train with my branding iron every day, this superior weapon can permanently leave my ranch emblem on a cattle's hide because it is white-hot, and is vastly superior to any other method of livestock marking. I earned my branding license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both Texas and the Oklahoma dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their cowboy code, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to Dallas to work in an oil field to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a cattle wrangler for the Double Cross Ranch or an oil rig operator for Exxon-Mobil!

I own several cowboy hats, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I rebel against my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

>>6953709

It's right on the front page, idiot. Are you blind? Are you illiterate? Are you some kind of imbecile? Do I have to chew your food for you as well and wipe your chin?

>>6946453

/sp/ people really are stupid, it's not just a meme...

Hey, what's going on in this thread?

You didn't like my Christmas present for the gift exchange /sp/? I tried my hardest for you.

Is this a spam thread? And just how in the fuck did all these /sp/ motherfuckers get here?

>>6953691

Okay listen you fuckwit, I'm tired of seeing your shitpost all the time.
FIrst off, you fucking twerp, it's konnichiwa, not Gomenasai.
KO NI CHI FUCKING WA. Gomenasai means sorry.
Second, you're a fucking retard for thinking japanese games are superior in any kind. They're as good and bas as american ones. I also bet your drawings look like shit.
Now, you fucking faggot, let me teach you something about swords.
The best thing your glorious Katana can cut through is a bamboo straw, and NOT FUCKING STEEL. LEARN THAT FOR FUCKS SAKE.And it's folded about 10 times, for a total 800 kayers at fucking most. Nobody's gonna sit 5 years in his room and polish a rod, exept you maybe because you can't get any pussy.
Now, you're telling me that you know stuff about japanese history. HA HA FUCKING HA FAGGOT. You couldn'T even get a proper Kana if your life depended on it, not like it's worth anything. No fucking one wears a goddamn Kimono in the streets, you retarded fuckwit.
Go on, move to Japan, get laughed at by fucking everyone, I might just fly with you to have a seat in the front row when your spirit is shattered to a thousand bits. No one is gonna like an acne-ridden wannabe-japanese who doesn't know shit about the culture he so disgustingly admires.

Now, kindly fuck off and die, you scum of the earth.

>>6953719
Hey all of 4chan hates you too, those that know there is a sports board, that is.
BFFs 4 lyfe

did someone say traps?

>>6953726
What? Nobody can resist delicious Peco artwork.

EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET ON THE FLOOR - SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO DIE.

>>6953725
I love you Suh-san

>>6953726
Japanese cartoons all look stupid.

/sp/ if you could take the two dumb niggers, Arcueid & Y10NRDY with you on the way back that would be appreciated

Obviously their monkey self was activated with essence of sports in their presence

>>6953738
You look stupid

Owned bitch

/sp/ thread, everybody get in here.

Howdy /k/, my name is Mr. Shougo.

I'm a 36 year old Japanese Cowboy. I build pistols and rifles with my lathe, and spend my days perfecting my art and watching superior American films. (Fistful Of Dollars, For A Few Dollars More, The Good The Bad And The Ugly)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot clean through steel because it has been used for over a hundred years, and is vastly superior to and other weapon on earth. I earned my firearms license two years ago, and I have been getting better everyday.

I speak English fluently, both the Roman and Texan dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their wild west code, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to Austin to attend a prestigious Cattle Ranch to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a gunsmith for Colt or a film director for Clint Eastwood!

I own several gunbelts, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I stare at my elders and seniors in a grizzled fashion and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in America!

Hello! I posted about this problem of mine last night. Unfortunately, most of what I got were troll comments or people getting angry over silly things.

Anyway, here's my dilemma...I'm a hardcore gamer. I love videogames. They're important to me. If I'm not working, then I'm probably playing videogames. So, it's only natural that this would be a real selling point for any potential relationship interest.

My boyfriend is a horrible casual gamer. He owns no HD consoles and refuses to play anything that isn't old-as-dirt, horribly gimmicky, or just retro/hipster/kiddy garbage. He has a Wii, a PS2, a Nintendo DS, and a heaping mountain of old stuff he's packratted from the 80's and 90's....or, he DID have those things.

I finally followed my own advice. He's been off visiting his family because of some accident his sister had for the past few days and he's due home tonight. While he's been away, I've taken the liberty of selling a ton of the stuff he could never bring himself to part with and buying him something actually worth his time.

Go away Jimmy.

>> train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot clean through steel because it has been used for over a hundred years, and is vastly superior to and other weapon on earth

Oh god, not the japs too

>>6953745

“Thanks for stopping by The Route 66 Refreshments!” Tenshi announced to her customer, leaving with one of her famed corn dogs. The Arizona sun crept over the desert, heralding Tenshi’s nightly cooking ritual. When the last customer was out of earshot, she closed the front door to her Frankfurter stand and flipped on the radio. “Route 66” by Chuck Berry blared over any noise from the outside as Tenshi pulled a fresh batch of corn dogs from the refrigerator.

>>6953751
I was quick to find a buyer. A local pawn shop eats things like this up, so they were happy to have me as a seller. Here's what my transactions have been like.

I sold: An NES + all of his NES cartridges, SNES + cartridges, Genesis + Cartridges, Genesis + games, Dreamcast (Didn't sell the games though. They were all burned onto disc, so they wouldn't take them), Virtual Boy + single game (Wario), PS2 + a fucking MOUNTAIN of old PS2 and PS1 games, and his Wii + all Wii and Gamecube titles. I didn't sell the DS...but that's only because he took it on the trip with him. All in all, the consoles + over 100 combined games netted me about 500 dollars.

As a surprise when he gets back, I bought him a new 250 GB PS3! Yeah yeah, 'nogaems'...but it makes sense. I own a 360, after all...so now we can share everything, since he finally has something worthwhile.

I was planning to get him FFXIII and Modern Warfare 2...but since I have those already, I decided to stick to exclusives or things I don't already own. Before he left, I subtly asked him if he'd ever play any PS3 games at all. He said he was actually interested in 3D Dot Game Heroes, so I got him that. Seems kinda 'hipster-y', but it's a start. On top of that, I also got him MAG. He doesn't seem to like FPS games, but he'll get used to them.

Anyway, I set everything up in the living room. He should be back within the hour. You think he'll like it and finally start to appreciate gaming as a modern form of entertainment?

we /sp/ now

>>6953736
ray lewis can kill servants

he already has good experience with murder

Jesus christ

you cunts at /jp/ take yourselves pretty seriously don't you.

>>6953745

One by one she broke them off from their icy packaging and began to undo her shirt. The desert nights were cold, with no central heating her bare breast was chilled with erect nipples. She placed a freezing corn dog along her bare skin. She shuddered as she moved the frozen wiener along her skin. It became quite cold from the lacking sun, to alleviate this, she turned on the fryer used to cook the corn dogs. She broke off a second corn dog and placed it under her dress. The still chilled dog pushed in to her panties with an uncomfortable glacial chill. The fryer dinged, indicating it’s warmth, one corn dog was soggy and cold from the melted ice, with one degrading from the heat. She slipped her undergarments aside and slipped the stick of the corn dog firmly in her anus.

NFL gonna go out of business this year lol

After reviewing the play, the ruling on the field stands:

/jp/ has no point and should be deleted and assimilated into /a/ and /v/. /sp/ will take over the ball on downs.

>>6953737

For you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNo1jj1h54

>>6953745

Carefully positioning herself over the fryer, careful not to burn herself or her clothes, dipped the corn dog in the fryer, cooking it in to an oily, tanned treat.

‘Ding!’ the fryer indicated, as she slipped the stick out of her, placing it on a ceramic plate beside her. She pulled a third corn dog out, and placed it in her anus just like the last one. Her body had become warm from arousal and the fryer, she slipped off her dress and threw it aside, leaving very little protection against both the cold and heat. The fryer popped, sizzled, and finally dinged, the corn dog now fully cooked. She grabbed the first one, which had now become warm from disuse. She stepped off the fryer with one corn dog still in her anus, the other in hand. She positioned herself on her knees and pushed the phallic-shaped snack in to her panties. The rough texture of the corn dog clashed with the silky undergarment while the lavaesque corn dog pushed in to her bum. She took firm grip of her breast and forced the fried bread in to her. “GET YOUR KICKS! ON ROUTE! 66!” She shouted, the hot dog soaking up her ecstatic motions. With one befouling movement she sat down, pushing the still hot corn dog all the way in to her anus and slammed the now defiled corn dog all the way in to her slit, soaking it further. She fell back, letting her muscles push out the 2 corn dogs. Laying on the floor, Chuck Berry overshadowed her heavy breaths with rockabilly tunes. Tenshi picked up the 2 cold, wet cornbread-wrapped sausages and put them under her heat lamp, finished with tomorrows lunch.

>>6953765
owned so hard faget
ur crying at your monitor now in rage

>>6953755
Ed, Edd and Eddy is better than any cartoon ever to come out of Japan. Not even trolling.

so who will win the Champions League /sp/?

That's it, fuck it. I'm switching over to /sp/ now.

>>6953769
OH NO! I CAN'T BERREAVE IT!

>>6953779
Nothing is better than Mars of Destruction, sorry.

/sp/ meetup

>>6953770

>>6953780
Hard to look past Barcelona, but if not them, then Man Utd or Real Madrid, probably. I do have a funny feeling about French clubs this year though. Reckon we might see an upset.

lol Arcueid so fucking mad. Good lord, why would you take this so seriously. Christ, you're an ignorant cunt.

I truly must apologize, but I am out of Aikido, for alas, I am only a novice in the art. Might I interest you in some

Tanasinn though? I hear that when you combine the two, it makes for a dreadful combination. Why don't you sit and listen

for a spell.

Picture yourself, in every moment of your life, passing from place to place and time to time. Picture those places and

times and picture what happened to them. Has the past gone away when you left it? Is this true, can you not go back? If

so, surely this can be the same way for places as it is for time. Imagine that when you leave a room, or simply turn away,

a multitude of tiny organisms deconstruct the reality you can't see, and it ceases to exist. At the same time, the

organisms weave together a new world wherever you go and for whatever you look at out of the material of that dead

reality. This of course implies the back of your head does not exist either. So how does it seem familiar? Because when

the back of your head does not exist, these organisms may restructure your brain directly in order to create the feeling

of familiarity and of memory.
They do all this, without ever ceasing, out of knowledge passed down by instinct that when you cease to acknowledge

reality, they as a whole will cease to exist, because reality is the knowing and they are the unknowing, both in mutual

interdependence. In time they may attempt to rewire your brain or body to ensure this does not happen, but it is far more

likely just one of them will realize that your brain is just a construct of your thought... and since thought is a product

of your brain, that single organism, one of an infinite number of organisms will know it's true purpose is not in line

with it's kind.

It's purpose is tanasinn.

>>6953780
The team the spent the most money, same as every year

>>6953779
Anything is better than anime. Not sure what this has to do with /jp/ though, its about as anime-related as your board
i.e. none at all except when getting spammed by /a/

>/jp/

Unsure of whether I was losing my mind, or that i've already lost it, I meanwhile formed a conjecture that I had actually found a portal to another dimension. The origin of the compulsions which led me to enter this brothel mystified me, but nonetheless I find myself here. The reasons are irrelevant.

A woman who I assume to be the Madam of the place directed me to enter a waiting room. The forcefulness with which her red-glossed talon pointed at the door gave me a shocking compulsion jolting my legs to move. Before I knew it, I found myself in this tiny cubicle. Theres hardly any space, I can't even sit down. 555...

My mind swarmed with questions, such as what compulsion led me to enter this dingy, horse-breath cubicle. Before I knew it, there was one other man standing beside me. I subterfugously slide my eyes to the side, drawing in the detail of this man from the edge of my vision.

He was wearing a weather-worn leather trenchcoat. His hair was a matt black, untidy like bed hair, while his face was honest and sanguine, covered in stubble. His eyes squinted against a non-existent rain, and behind them stared two dark pupils.

I must have been completely engorged with drawing in his image, because I realise I had turned to face him directly. When he had noticed, he startled for a moment, then with lightning speed, dashed off to my side on the edge of my vision.

He cleared his through. "Ahem. Chances are you probably know why I am here. Im here to relay to you a very important message."

I turned to face him so I could say "No, I don't, just who're you?" but before I could, he again sidestepped to the periphery of my vision.

You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches

involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in

your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There

are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my

face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down

your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I

hear only children’s laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You

cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your

own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a

hamburger.

>>6953799
Spam from /a/ may wreck your board, but those fags could barely register on ours.

>>6953769

REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL REFBALL

>>6953795
that would make Man City CL winner since 2 years ago

>>6953804
"Somewhere in an alternate universe your waifu dreams about you, her husbando. "
Those words struck me with a certain heaviness, like they were truly profound words of meaning. For a split second I was taken aback my the sheer power of them. But then questions intruded my thought. Who was this guy? And more importantly, how did he know my lifestyle? Why was he talking like a 4chan otaku?

I moved my hand out to hold him on the shoulder, so he would stay in place. Moments before my hand touched his coat, he swooped downwards, slid between my legs and reappeared behind me. His face touched mine, his stubble bristling against my ear, I could feel a greasy warmth from his skin. Rattling a string of words like a machine gun, he said "She frequents a board very much like this one and she posts pictures of you, In this dimension you are a star of your very own slice of life anime.
She has a folder on her computer dedicated to you, it is over 10 GB big and has every conceivable fan art, rule 34, and picture related to you, She sleeps with a tear stained body pillow with your image on it, She is madly in love with you and only you."

Already he had scuttled out of the cubicle and left. I futilely cried out "Who are you! Why are you telling me this!". It was useless.

But then, from behind the door, a voice. That man, as a departing remark, opined "You are loved, mai.". And then, his head comically popped from the side of door and smiled at me. I hadn't noticed it before, but his lips were curved oddly, in the shape of a three. It was kind of funny, but also genuinely well-meaning. A contortionist perhaps? Or a congenital defect such as cleft lip?

To this day, these strange events that occured the night I entered that brothel have never left me.

>>6953803

infinitely mad

You aren't aroused by traumatic insemination? What are you doing on /jp/? You should learn to appreciate expressing your

love by administering your sperm directly into your devoted wife's bloodstream. I want to be a little girl with a drill

penis and watch Merry's cute, tearful face as she bears the excruciating pain for my sake, calling out my name while I

penetrate her peritoneum and deposit my seed within the tight, inviting folds of her greater omentum. When I pull out, my

spiral-coiled penis covered with a mixture of cum, blood, serous intraperitoneal fluid and gastric acid, she'd smile

gently and take some of the sperm gushing out of her gaping wound, licking it and telling me how delicious it is because

it's my taste. Then we'd sleep together, with her telling me how much she loves me while groping my budding breasts,

making me moan softly like the little girl I am as her half-spilled guts warmly rest around my drill-shaped, oversized

male genitalia, arousing me further.

Jeez, people have no taste for romantic love those days.

>>6953809

I'm an Alpha male /b/.

And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm fucking her.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys.

Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map.

As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects.

Yawn.

Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit.

The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life.

Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him.

Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead.

3 out of 10.

When the phone rang at 3:20 p.m. I was sprawled out on the tatami, staring at the ceiling. A pool of winter sunlight had

formed in the place where I lay. Like a dead fly I lay there, vacant, in a December spotlight.

At first, I didn't recognize the sound as the phone ringing. It was more like an unfamiliar memory that had hesitantly

slipped in between the layers of air. Finally, though, it began to take shape, and, in the end, a ringing phone was

unmistakably what it was. It was one hundred per cent a phone ring in one-hundred-per-cent real air. Still sprawled out, I

reached over and picked up the receiver.

On the other end was a girl, a girl so indistinct that, by four-thirty, she might very well have disappeared altogether.

She was the ex-girlfriend of a friend of mine. Something had brought them together, this guy and this indistinct girl, and

something had led them to break up. I had, I admit, reluctantly played a role in getting them together in the first place.

Sorry to bother you, she said, but do you know where he is now?

I looked at the phone, running my eyes along the length of the cord. The cord was, sure enough, attached to the phone. I

managed a vague reply. There was something ominous in the girls voice, and whatever trouble was brewing I knew that I

didn't want to get involved.

Nobody will tell me where he is, she said in a chilly tone. Everybody's pretending they don't know. But there's something

important I have to tell him, so please tell me where he is. I promise I won't drag you into this. Where is he?

I honestly don't know, I told her. I haven't seen him in a long time. My voice didn't sound like my own. I was telling the

truth about not having seen him for a long time, but not about the other part (I did know his address and phone number).

Whenever I tell a lie, something weird happens to my voice.

No comment from her.

>>6953819
why so mad weeaboo faggot

>>6953811

Whatever, no one cares about the big clubs and their made up 40 game long tournament

>/sp/ ended up fine
>/a/a forever lost their get

Hey, listen to me for a moment, a'ight? I don't care if it's not related to this thread. Just listen!
Yesterday, I went over to Yoshinoya for a simple meal. Yes, THAT beef bowl house, Yoshinoya.
But the whole restaurant was so crowded, I couldn't even find a seat for hours!
Then I saw a poster that said "Special offer! 150 yen discount".
I thought to myself... geez, that's so fucking amazing. You guys don't even normally visit Yoshinoya.
All you bastards came here just for that stupid-assed 150 yen discount.
Just for that 150 yen. ONE FREAKIN' FIFTY YEN!!
Then I saw some parents & children. A family of four eating out at Yoshinoya. Damn, so much for that bitch's home-cooked

family feast.
Then one of the little brats said "Daddy's gonna order a large beef bowl".
I couldn't believe it! Uuuuuggh, are you out of your fucking mind!?
Shiiit, i'll pay you 150 yen just to move your stanky fat-ass out of a seat.
Dude, you just don't go to Yoshinoya for that lala-oh-i'm-so-happy dinner bullshit.
It's where you pick a fist-fight with the fucking guy sitting across 'yah in that U-shaped table.
Kill or be killed. Heh... now that's the kinda shit I like.
Ladies, kids, stand back... 'cuz everything's gonna get FUCKED UP NOW.
After waiting for ages, I finally found an empty seat. But then, the guy next to me ordered by saying "A large beef bowl

with a LOTTA' gravy".
Dude, that just pissed me off even more. Shit, you just don't say "lotta' gravy" nowadays, ya' freaking bastard.

>>6953819

>2009

Bitch please, /a/ couldn't do that to /sp/ now if they wanted to.

>>6953828
mad that your board got spammed? sure thing

It’s late at night. The enemy is out there, lying in wait. Only he’s well protected, impervious to your advances, hidden deep inside his fortified bunker. Your mission is clear: you need that thing torn up. But your missile lacks heft, girth and thrust. Your answer? The HARDBUT.

Meet the Hard and Deeply Buried Target Next Generation Multiple Warhead System, known as — yes — the HARDBUT. It’s designed to go deep where others can’t, penetrating the most secure command centers, hardened infrastructure and “underground facilities including caves,” according to its manufacturer. As you might have presumed, it’s European, designed by the Euro mega-missile giant MBDA, with research cash for testing it provided by the French and British defense ministries.

And it performs under pressure. MBDA announced today that the HARDBUT missile successfully smashed through a “massive concrete target” on September 14. The company boasted that the HARDBUT “penetrated through and exited the rear face of the target, demonstrating a penetration capability significantly in excess of any warhead currently produced by MBDA.” It sounds like it’s been raring to go, having not gotten any action since its first test in May.

Unfortunately, we’ve only got the company’s word to go on in assessing the power of the HARDBUT. MBDA didn’t reveal how thick the concrete target was, nor how big the multi-warheaded missile actually is. Here in the U.S., the Air Force is getting ready to unleash a 30,000-pound Massive Ordnance Penetrator by 2012, and the Defense Threat Reduction Agency is bolstering its own bunker-buster capability. That’s on top of the 5000-pound “Divine Thunderbolt” missile that the Air Force already has. Can HARDBUT top their performance?

The jury’s still out on whether Americans or Europeans make the more effective penetrators. Still, judging from MBDA, the HARDBUT is certainly nothing to laugh at.

I don't see anybody mad here.
Is it just cool these days to pick a random post and ask why they're mad?

>>6953836
How the fuck can you say "lotta' gravy" with that "oh, i'm so fucking cool, hur-hur-hur..." look!?!?
Damn, I was THIS CLOSE to standing in front of his face and yelling "DO YOU EVEN LIKE EATING THAT MUCH FUCKIN' GRAVY!?"
For a freaking hour, I was THIS CLOSE to doing that.
Shit, I bet you just wanted to use the words "lotta' gravy" out loud. Wow, you're so clever.
Dude, you gotta be like ME. See, now I know what's "all that" in Yoshinoya.
What's cool right now to say is "Negi-daku". That's it!
You see now, a large beef bowl with a lotta onions & an egg is what the hardcore Yoshinoya freaks eat. Like ME.
Saying "Negi-daku" means that you get less meat, but they put a WHOLE MESS of onions.
Mmmmm... a large beef bowl with onions & an egg, now THAT'S what I call a meal.
But anywhoo... ordering that is kinda' like a double-edged sword. Cuz' then the waiters might notice you the next time you

come by.
So yeah, I can't reccomend this to noobs.
For you, just go order a beef and salmon combo. That's as far as you can go, you know what i'm sayin'?

>/jp/ saging an /sp/ thread

“Mr. Nick!” Phoenix looked down as he felt a tiny hand tugging on his bright blue suit pants. “Excuse me, Mr. Nick!” It was Pearl Fey. She looked very small behind the tall oak defendant’s stand. Phoenix heard Franziska von Karma, the prosecutor, babbling something about her perfection, and decided that he could spare his attention. “What is it, Pearls?” He whispered out of the corner of his mouth. The eight-year-old girl stared up at him with her large brown eyes, thin eyebrows arched inquisitively. Her silky brown hair was braided into two circles behind her head that bounced up and down when she was surprised or excited. And to top it off she wore the standard light purple channeler’s robe with a pink sash, only in miniature. She was, in a word, adorable.

I believe you shouldn't underestimate Aikido. Now I know you may be thinking, "Why take a weakling martial art like Aikido seriously when I am learning Kendo?" I can see why you would think that, how can a peaceful martial arts like Aikido beat a powerful one like Kendo?

Well, I have a story to share with you.

Years ago, I was a Kendoka, I thought I was the toughest kid in high school, I would pick fights, and kick ass. I was full of hate, until I picked a fight with the wrong dude. He was a Japanese exchange student, I still remember his name, Noboru Takeda.

I picked on him because of his hilarious and thick Japanese accent. I told him I was going to beat him so hard, he would go back to China(Yeah, I was a little racist prick.), he never said anything back, made me wanted to kick his ass even harder.

Well, here comes the fight. I threw men and do strikes, he dodged them like I was a mere white belt. I was tiring out and he knew, I saw the smirk on his face that made me raged hard. I put all my strength in one amazing tsuki, and he grabbed past it to my wrist and threw me over. My back smacked on the hard cement ground, and I was knocked out for who knows how long.

When I woke up I was in the school infirmary, I asked the nurse who brought me here, and you guessed it, Noboru Takeda. The next day, he wasn't at school, he was back in Japan, and I never got to thank him, for saving my life and showing me the light. I soon learned that he was an Aikidoka and have been practicing Aikido ever since to show my thanks to him.

>>6953790

There's a reason I spent all day voting for him as Pepsi's ROY.

>I hear that being a Sumo is like being a huge celebrity
>huge celebrity

hehehe I get it OP

>>6953841

>>6953847

“Mr. Nick, I have to go potty, bad!” “I’m sorry, Pearls, but you’ll have to hold it a little longer. The judge doesn’t look ready to call a recess yet.” “Oh…” “Don’t worry, we’ll get you to a bathroom. Just hang in there, okay?” “Okay!” said Pearl, breaking into a grin. Phoenix couldn’t help but smile back. He didn’t usually like kids, but Pearl was so sweet, she could never cause any trouble. “Mr. Wright! I would advise you to pay attention to your own client’s trial!” “Y-yes, your honor!” Phoenix stammered. The judge continued.

“Ms. Von Karma was just about to call the next witness to the stand…” It was Lotta Hart, the nosy photographer who almost always managed to show up in time to witness the crime scene. They began the cross examination. Phoenix listened carefully to the entire testimony, and Pearl waited patiently. He kept reviewing all the evidence, looking frantically for contradictions, but the story seemed airtight. He could tell the judge was getting impatient, and his window of opportunity was closing. This looked like it could be the end…

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably

kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane

person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to

defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on

one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

>>6953852
I like the part where he said "huge load of crap."

Slowest board on 4chan sure is good at sagebombing.

>>6953841

Omg hai ^___^ I|m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw￡SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
§ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPAE SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!¨ I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!
he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN|T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled §UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT|S MY MAN WHY DON|T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (o_o)¨ then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

>>6953854

“Need some help?” A familiar voice came from right next to him, and Phoenix glanced over in astonishment. “Pearls? What…” His heart almost stopped. There stood Mia Fey, his dead mentor. He’d always had something of a crush on her, and now she looked more beautiful than ever before. Now, her hair was brown, and braided up in the back just like Pearl’s. He realized that the young spirit medium must be channeling Mia. “Hmmm…these clothes are a little small though.” Phoenix blushed as he realized just how short the eight-year-old’s skirt was on the fully grown Mia. It barely covered her crotch! And now Mia, who had always had a large bust, was quite literally almost popping out of the minuscule channeling robes. She must have noticed Phoenix staring.

“Get it together, Phoenix! You’ve got a case to win!” He nodded and turned back to the witness stand. Mia continued. “Now, start trying to press the witness for-urk!” She suddenly felt an intense pressure in her abdomen. Wow! That little girl was working on quite a load! “Are you okay, Mia?” “Y-yeah…I’m fine…” she reassured him, although she was beginning to sweat. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold it. “Ms. Hart, isn’t it true you took more than one photo of the crime scene?” “Well, yeah! You reckon I’d let a story this big go by with just one pitcher to show for it?” “Would you mind presenting those additional pictures to the court?” “That will not be necessary.” Said Franziska, smirking across the courtroom at Phoenix.“The prosecution has deemed the additional photograph to be irrelevant.”

Yesterday at around noon, I had been extremely bored for the past couple of hours. So, despite all the temptations to just

jerk off to my manga, I decided to go to my friends house and hang out. We started to play pokemon and that got boring, so

he suggested doing prank calls. I honestly have never done any prank calls, though I have seen most of the Girl Talk

raids. He called the local gamestop and asked if they had any ps4's. I kinda cringed at the low brow humor, but I wanted

to try. He gave the phone to me. I had no idea what to say. He just told me to think up of some ridiculous story. Being

the /b/ that I am, I decided to act like I misdialed and I was calling my girlfriend or something. I, sadly, have no

girlfriend and never had, so I have no idea what couples talk to each other like. He told me that he was going to download

a random number, so it wouldn't be anyone that I knew. Phone rang, person picked up, I started to talk. "Hey, how you

doing?" There was a pause. "So, are we gonna fuck tonight?" Another long pause, then the phone hung up.

I went home at around midnight, and my mom was in the living room sitting by the light. She seemed a bit upset, but I had

no idea why. She looked at me and then asked, "What have you been doing?". I started to think to myself OSHI-, my friend

must of called my house, that douche. "Uh... I have been hanging out at my friends." "O really.." My Dad walked into the

room, and he looked pissed off too. I know they must of knew it was me. I'm dead. Then my mom started off, "I found these

magazines in your room. we seriously need to talk about these." It was probably the weirdest feeling in the world. The

feeling relief that you weren't in trouble for something you did, and the feeling that you have just been caught with

porn.

So now I'm locked in my room. How do I get out?

I don't think you've ever have a full erection before.

I bet you've never experienced how truely hard and thick one's own penis can become. The head absolutely full and firm to the touch. Taking one's shaft with both hands and imagining yourself pounding deep into a prepubescent girl. The feeling of releasing on facial emotions or just the right formation of lines and shapes that truly bring a guy to the height of ecstasy. Then feeling you must not only find your own pleasure but continue to violate this image. To be turned on by the pleasure of what you focus your sexual desires on being mortified by you. The feeling that they must both suffer and take you in as a whole. To take this image, and make yourself whole within it. Then you continue, again and again. Now you find but nothing comes out but near clear fluids.
You feast. Protein, carbohydrates. Whatever you can get you devour. You must build up your stamina and nutrients to waste them yet again.
20 times a day not enough? You clearly are not a man of science nor a man of poetry.

Just because you don't know how to do it, doesn't mean it can't be done. It just means you lack something very fundamental to continue.

You are easy to please. Just a few moments of bliss a day enough for you? You'll never understand what it feels like to continue to deepen your own pleasures.
Then again you could just simply lack vitality and sexual drive.

I'm going to take a stab in the dark, but people that masturbate 10+ times a day subconsciously drink quite a bit of fluids.

>>6953850
>Santana Moss
>taking down Suh
lol, no

>>6953864

Phoenix pointed in his trademark gesture. “I think that’s for the people of this court to decide!” “I’m sorry, Ms. Von Karma, but I must agree with the defense on this – YOW!” Franziska cracked her whip viciously at the old man. “Very well! If you wish to waste this court’s time, I will present the other photo.” “Hmmm… what could this mean…?” Phoenix pored over the newly submitted picture for any discrepancies. “T-there, a contradiction! Think about the evidence you have and compare it to the picture you just got!” counseled Mia in a rather strained tone of voice. At that very moment she was forcing back an intense urge to use the bathroom by any means necessary. I’ve got to focus on the trial…she chided herself. But she could feel her concentration slipping. As her protégé raised an objection, she gripped the defendant’s stand with white knuckles. She shifted nervously in her uncomfortably tight clothing. She couldn’t really blame Phoenix for staring, after all, she was sporting some truly eye popping cleavage.

>>6953858
You use the sage function when you don't think your post is quality enough to bump the thread.
I don't know how everyone got the impression that it was meant to be offensive, its just the opposite in fact.

Captain: Our king is the god of war. He always stands on the frontline and does not know defeat.
Soldier 1: She, Sir.
Captain: What was that?
Soldier 1: Our king is a woman, sir.
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that.
Captain: He always stands on the frontline and does not know defeat! No one can stand in the way of-
Soldier 1: Forgive me for speaking out of turn, Captain, but that's definitely a woman.
Soldier 3: Though it might be a man with coconuts in his armor.
Soldier 2: Are you trying to say that our king carries fruits in her chest?
Captain: His chest! Look! Our king's dauntless figure has not changed since he-
Soldier 1: She, Sir.
Captain: QUIET! Our king has not changed since he pulled out the sword of selection! The king does not age, and he

certainly does not walk around with coconuts pressed to his chest!
Soldier 3: So our king is a woman.
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that!
Soldier 1: I'm so glad that I'm not the only one here that can see the blooming obvious!
Captain: Stop speaking of our king as if he were some common two-pence tramp! He, and I do mean he, is the incarnation of

a dragon! He will lead us to victory against-
Soldier 1: She, Sir!
Captain: I've had enough out of you!
Soldier 1: With all due respect, Captain, you're a bloody loony! I am loyal to the king, but the king is a woman!
Soldier 2: And quite a looker at that!
Soldier 3: I wouldn't mind having a quickie with her, if you know what I mean!
Captain: ENOUGH! Our king is the blooming god of war! He does not walk around with coconuts in his chest, he is not quite

a looker, and there will be no having quickies with our king!
Saber: Is there a problem, Captain?
Captain: Your majesty, I-
Soldier 1: Your majesty, you're a woman, right?
Saber: Gender is meaningless. I am the wielder of Excalibur and the King of Britain.
Soldier 3: She's a hermaphrodite?

CR earned it's bad reputation. It's changed a bit, but reputations don't fade quickly.

1. They were actual thieves, earning profit from streaming anime illegally. Most of the anime community follows fansubs of unlicensed series, where a free translation service is provided for sharing a series among fellow fans. The DVDRip community is separate from the fansubbers, and even then the rippers usually encourage financially supporting series you like.

2. CR not only made money off stealing shows, they stole fansubs and made money off them, claiming the stolen fansubs as their own without even bothering to strip the subber tags. CR made money from stealing shows, which is anathema to everything the anime community follows.

3. CR was a ripoff, streaming crappy quality video as they committed the above offenses. So not only was it morally offensive, they didn't even have the decency to do a good job of it.

4. The CR forum community was a cesspool. Enough said.

That's the past that earned CR the bad reputation. The new CR has different issues.

5. The thieves converted to "legal" - i.e. still trying to rip people off to make money off anime that would have been shared freely otherwise

>/jp/ saging

>>6953869

“Are you really alright, chief? You don’t look so good.” Phoenix asked. He seemed genuinely concerned, as Mia’s face had blanched and she was now sweating noticeably. The air around her was beginning to waver and bend almost imperceptibly. “Don’t worry about me, you need to think of the client!” Ugh...this is the worst I’ve ever had to go in my whole life. I can feel my connection to Pearl waning… Mia quickly began to understand the bottom line: if she didn’t find relief soon, she would go back to the spirit world and leave Phoenix on his own. As the fight between Phoenix and Franziska dragged on, Mia’s eyes widened in desperation. An airy fart squeezed itself out of her, and the very tip of a hard turd emerged from between her cheeks. This was almost too much for her to bear. She needed a toilet, now. Her lips parted as an almost inaudible moan escaped them. She clutched her backside tightly and hopped up and down to distract herself. This caused the auburn circlets of hair at the back of her head to bounce up and down, just as they did when Pearl was excited. She stopped and doubled over as she farted again, louder. The sheer volume of feces inside her astounded Mia. She fought hard to hold it in, but it was a losing battle. The whole room started to narrow to tunnel vision, and the sound of Phoenix and Franziska arguing at the top of their lungs faded to a dull roar. This is it…she thought. It’s now or never.

Greatest human being of all time

>>6953870
Oh is that so, if you don't think saging holds a duplicitous intention, you don't know shit about saging.

>>6953868


My apologies. I was performing other necessary duties.

I have defeated countless opponents using Aikido, and they always ask me, Why are you so strong?

I answer, I'm not strong, you are.

Aikido uses the strength of the attacker back at them but 10 times stronger(estimate). Using Aikido and I can probably

kill a charging Rhino using it's force right back at it, of course, I'm not going to try it, way to dangerous for any sane

person.

I recommend practicing Aikido for every /jp/edo, as you are all physically weak, and Aikido is specialized for the weak to

defend against the strong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDnYNroUmNs

A 50 year old man with cerebral palsy doing Aikido, very touching.

Arguably the most powerful martial arts in Japan.

An Aikido practitioner is practically invincible, no one of any martial arts background can ever land a punch or kick on

one.

Using the power of the attacker, the Aikido practitioner uses absolutely no energy to knock them down.

A fearsome martial arts it is.

>>6953873
6. They don't publish DVDs, so anything they license is dead in the water in terms of anime collections. DVDs have been the traditional route of non-Japanese fans financially supporting anime they enjoy, so this also interferes with that.

7. Their quality is still pretty crappy. The translations on various shows have had blatant errors, poor editing, and are generally shoddy compared to the quality of most of the top fansub groups.

8. CR has been poaching series by offering to be "cheap and easy" licensing and profit, basically the Chinese Outsourcing of licensing companies. This makes it tougher for the core licensing companies, like Funimation, etc., to survive and thrive.

While what they offer isn't really too bad, and probably seems pretty spiffy to the Youtube Newbies who still stream anime and have just discovered CR, money paid to them pretty much stops there. You're not financially supporting your favorite series, you're not supporting the US anime industry, and you're just helping to eat away at the foundations of the strong anime community that has been supporting the entire US anime industry since the start.

Watching anime on TV (like on Toonami when it was awesome), being vocal about your support for series, buying DVDs and secondary goods, and drawing in others to anime fandom are ways to actually support the US and Japanese anime industries. Subscribing to CR does not make you morally righteous compared to the "thieves" who watch fansubs and buy DVDs and other goods.

And, amusingly, CR gets poached now in the same way they did before, with numerous stream-ripping groups posting torrents for all of their 480p and 720p show streams. Except those groups don't scam money off of it.

>>6953876

She relaxed her overburdened sphincter, and a large volume of gas immediately escaped her. “Ohhh…” She ceased to perceive anything else in the room, except the blissful release she was feeling. She gave her body a gentle push to help things along, and just like that she was defecating. Her eyes were closed, and beneath her slightly upturned nose her mouth was formed into an ‘O’ of pure bliss. The enormous turd that had been bothering her slid smoothly out of her rectum and rested against her soft pink panties for a moment, before another push from Mia caused them to bulge out easily with a soft crackle. The poop kept coming and began to pile into a soft mound. Even though everyone in the courtroom was watching Mia awkwardly, all she could feel was the warm, gooey sensation on her behind. If I had known how much pleasure you can get from soiling yourself, I would have done this while I was alive!

When that piece was finished, she could feel another one lining up for exit. This one was wider, so she spread her legs and bent over the stand, revealing even more cleavage. But she couldn’t have cared less. Her brow furrowed and she bit her lower lip out of exertion. Oh, my, this one is huge! What on earth did that little girl eat? She was so lost in concentration that Mia’s bladder involuntarily released, causing a hissing fountain of urine to cascade from between her parted legs. A wide puddle formed underneath her, splashing onto the floor from her crotch.

>>6953875
>saging
>he thinks sage = butthurt

Sempai's delicate lips wrapped around my swollen member like a starfish digesting it's prey. Slowly, my sanity was lost inside a tsunami, bringing up ancient creatures from the darkest depths of the ocean. As I descended into madness, strange visions of a abnormal non-euclidean city clouded my thoughts. As I explored this city, I came across a cavern which seemed to stretch into the bowels of the earth. As I cast my eyes into this cavern, a being beyond all description stood, casting its gaze back at me. It was then that I awoke, knowing that the stars were right and soon the horror would walk the earth.

>>6953875
Go back to morocco dumb sandnigger

so this is why no-one goes on /jp/

>>6953882

As she strained, Mia released a big fart into Pearl’s already loaded panties. “Nnnnngh!” With all the noise she was making, almost everyone in the courtroom was looking at her. “What’s going on?” “I can’t believe it!” “Mommy, is the lady going poo-poo?” If there was any doubt before, it was now clear that Mia was definitely going poo-poo, as she began to push in earnest on the big lump of excrement inside her. Mia’s anus began to widen further and further, and gradually, her bowel movement began to slide out with a soft, mushy crackling. “Nnnh…nnh…oh!” Her sphincter was stretched almost to its limit. Finally, the widest part of the turd passed through and began to slide easily into her increasingly heavy panties.

“Ahhhhhhh…” Mia sighed in relief as the football shaped BM smushed at last into Pearl’s pink undies, which were adorned with bumblebees and brightly colored flowers. The panties sagged considerably beneath her short skirt, revealing the crack of her bum, which was smeared a chocolaty brown. Mia slowly stood up straight. Every last man, woman and child in the court room was staring at her open mouthed after witnessing her display. Mia barely even noticed. That was the nice thing about being a spirit, she thought. You don’t have to worry so much about the opinions of others.

>>6953878
no doubt

Zelda is so racist. The good guys are all white blond-haired Aryan types, and the bad guy is a brown-skinned man with a pronounced nose.

Other races like gorons and zora are considered "good" because they submit to the Hylians.

Not the gerudo, though. Nope. They want to be independent and refuse to be dominated, therefore they are "evil."

Say, doesn't Hylian kinda sound like Aryan?

Ganon wants to create "a world of darkness," because obviously a world not ruled by white people = darkness and chaos amirite?

Link is the chosen hero because he has the blood of ancient Hylian warriors. He's a hero because of his blood? In other words, he's automatically the hero because his ancestors are white?

Master Sword, huh? Is that like the master race?

The Triforce is a KKK symbol.

The final boss of Zelda 2 is Shadow Link, who is exactly like Link except he is black.

Nice pointy hat, Link. Was KKK-mart having a sale?

This is way /v/ and /a/ don't like you /jp/

Don't mind me, just countering a sage I know somebody just posted on here.

>>6953890

After a few moments of silence, Mia cleared her throat. “If the court is ready, may we continue with the…oh! Ungh…mmmmph…” She closed one of her eyes and grimaced. She pushed on her tummy with a slender hand and finally voided the last of her bowels. A thin log slithered out of her slowly and rested on top of the already enormous pile in her panties. “Hang on…there’s a bit more…” After an audible fart she grunted again, releasing a mushy mass of hot slop that coated her already steaming production. She nodded at the judge. “Your honor…?” “Well, I must say that in all my years I have never seen someone take a case so seriously. I suppose we may continue with the proceedings now. Mr. Wright, if you’re ready?” Phoenix’s face had totally blanched with embarrassment. “M-m-mia! What do you think you’re doing?” “Relax, Phoenix. We’ve got this trial totally under control. Just keep pressing the witness…"

>>6953878
>greatest human being of all time
>playing hand-egg

Joey Harrington

Now listen here, fuckers. Learn the difference between JPG and PNG ALREADY.

- JPEG (pronounced jay-peg) is a most commonly used standard method of lossy compression for photographic images.

- PNG (Portable Network Graphics) is a losslessly compressed bitmap image format.

PNG is supposed to substitute GIF format, not JPG format you motherfuckers. For GIF, read "DRAWINGS, PAINTINGS, ICONS, etc" with a tiny palette. PNG IS LIKE A GIF WITH 65K COLOR, DUH.

So stoping saving your shitty PHOTOGRAPHS in PNG. IT WILL NOT IMPROVE THE QUALITY AT ALL, NOR WILL MAKE YOU LOOK COOL OR INDIE.

>>6953878

No arguments from me.

S up /jp/? First off, let me tell you that this is NOT CopyPasta. Feel free to check.

Anyway, I've been dating this really cute girl for about 2 months now and were just starting to explore our sexual niches and fetishes. The other day she came over while my cockblocking roommate was out singing for his gay choir. She told me she had to use my computer to check her email, so I obliged. She was in the middle of a bunch of emails with her lab mate, and she had to download a graph for her project. However, I forgot to change where my computer saved image files. It was set to my furry folder. That's right, Call me a furfag all you want. I've never been more than a furvert, with a small stash of furry porn. I dunno, I just like it for the uniqueness sometimes.

>>6953900
We're supposed to be upset that the two worst boards on 4chan don't like us?

>>6953904

I noticed the majority of Otakus tend to have Lolita complex, (I also have it to..., which sometimes scares me to death)
collecting Anime images of characters that look to be the ages between 8 and 14 year old children, can be both a joy and a horror at the same time, especially if you do not want the label a pedophile (aka: short eyes in any prison.)
And the way things are going, it looks like where the majority of us poor lonely fat Otakus will end up, especially when you're dealing with the laws of whatever country you may be from....
and the worst thing that can happen is ending up in prison and getting beaten up (or killed!) By your fellow inmates, worse yet been raped by them every night, believe me, if you managed to survive, you're just plain totally lucky....
a big suggestion, to all of you out there, is to get rid of all the live pictures of Lolita's and such,
if you haven't been paying attention to the news, especially of what's going on in the Japanese anime business, with all these laws being passed against anybody drawing illustration of young girls, very soon will be here, an any artists or any actual producers of Anime
will be arrested for producing these type of images, (which the majority of tend to be forced rape,)
these things have been on my mind for quite a while, I deftly don't ever want to end up in a prison because I had a collection of animated Loli pornography,
mind you, this is happening in Japan right now, but later it will hit the USA, as for the rest of the world?
so don't be surprised, when they knock on your door, and arrest you for your weird fetish,
no wonder I keep a gun next to my bed, when that day happens, I'm probably going to blow my brains out, enough said....

yall mad as hell

Greetings, everyone. I am new. (One second - let me get this spork out of the
way.) My name is Katy, but you can call me the Penguin of Doom. (I'm laughing
aloud.) As you can plainly see, my actions have no pattern whatsoever. That is
why I have come here. To meet similarly patternless individuals, such as myself.

I am 13 - mature for my age, however! - and I enjoy watching Invader Zim
with my girlfriend. (I am bisexual. Please approach this subject maturely.)
It is our favorite television show, as it adequately displays stochastic
manners of behavior such as we possess.

She behaves without order - of course - but I wish to meet more individuals
of her and my kind. As the saying goes, "the more, the merrier."

Ah, it is to laugh. Anyway, I hope to make many friends here, so please
comment freely.

DOOOOOOOOOM!

That is simply one of many examples of my random actions. Ha, ha. Fare
thee well. I wish you much love and waffles.

Yours,

The Penguin of Doom.

>>6953901
>countering a sage
Pffft
Sage does nothing.
You can't "counter" nothing.

>>6953910

So, She downloads the file, then hunts it down to see if it came in correctly, and so she can print it out. it was at this point that I realized I never changed my save folder. I flipped 10 shits, got off my bed, and ran over to close my laptop. it was too late, there sat a huge fucking picture of a furry bunny, pussy hanging out, and she just stared at it. While my face switched to "OH FUCK" mode, she slowly went from shocked to interested, to fucking horny.

She got out of the chair, took off her shirt, and pushed me back onto my bed. She told me she wanted to be my furry little bunny, and at that point I got the quickest and hardest boner in my lifetime. I never got up. She rode me like a fucking jockey until I was too beat up to move.

>>6953903
Go back to honduras dark skinned piece of human garbage

>>6953903

Well /sp/, I've decided to take tomorrow off which is why I'm up writing this, and it's not copypasta (or not yet). Anyways, I work at a fast food place (it's a local thing so I won't bother mentioning the name). I was just about ready to close up shop, everyone else had already left, when I noticed a little girl walking around outside. She was just sort of loitering, walking around in circles. I didn't really get a good look at her, but I continued with closing procedures. After I had locked the safes and checked and double checked this and that, I noticed she was still out there. She was just sitting in the rain. I figured she must be lost, so I decided to do my good civilian duty and help her out. Upon going out there I got a good look at her. She looked to be around 7 years old, with short black hair (pageboy style like Rei). I didn't really know her ethnicity, she looked pale white but had some Asian features. Her clothes, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt (hardly fitting attire for the weather) were tattered, dirty, soaked, and it looked like she had been wearing them for quite some time (and she didn't smell like roses and candy either). She had her face in her knees just sort of lightly sobbing, and she didn't seem to notice me even though I was fairly close to her. Until I finally said "hi". Then she looked up, and I could clearly see she was blind. This startled me a bit, and now I felt bad. I just let some blind defenseless girl cry outside of my store while I went about my business. Unlike most /b/tards, I have some conscience (and I wasn't actually thinking about sticking it in the pooper). I asked if her if she'd like to come out of the rain. She got up, and I lead her into the store. I asked her if she wanted something to eat, and she nodded her head yes.

>/jp/ wasn't deleted when /stormfront/ was

Come back Barry

>>6953912

No, sir, I don't like it.

>>6953923

She didn't answer me about what she wanted though, and that's when it hit me again. "Can you talk?" I asked her, to which she shook her head no and started to sob a bit more. I put my hand on her shoulder (not perversely) and said, "It's okay, I'll make you something good." She dried her tears a bit, and I fixed her a sub. I gave it to her, and she devoured it. Since her clothes were in terrible shape, and she acts like she hasn't eaten in forever, I asked her my third question. "Do you have a home?" to which she again gave a meek no. I didn't want to see her cry again, so I told her I'd take her back to my apartment (and no, once again, I wasn't trying to stick it in the pooper). So, in that very short amount of time, I now had this little girl accompanying me home. And I was thinking that she probably should've been snatched up by pedophiles by now being out on the street. She's tattered and dirty, but still pretty underneath. I took her out to my car, and buckled her into the front seat next to me. I think I could tell at that point she wanted more to eat.

>mfw a board like this actually exists

bump

Oh, for fucksake

>>6953925

Yea really, Ive been looking at this board for several minutes now. Why moot? Why?

>>6953928

On the car ride to my place I didn't really know what to say, so I was generally quiet. I asked her if she had any parents, to which she responded no, so I suppose they're dead. I asked her old she was and she stuck up 8 fingers (I was close). Every once in a while I would put my arm on her back and rub it a bit, trying to be comforting. I don't really think she noticed or cared. Obviously some bad shit has happened to her, and for all she knows she could end up in my glovebox. Of course maybe 8 year olds don't think thoughts like that, only /b/tards like me. We arrived at my apartment, and I walked in with her. My roommate Luke was up in the living room playing 360 online, and he just gave me a raised eyebrow. Luke wouldn't suspect me of being a pedophile or serial killer, but one of us bringing an 8 year old home isn't normal. So I told her to go into the kitchen and eat what she wants, and I'll talk to Luke. I gave her a gentle nudge in the direction of the kitchen and she went in (they're connected except for a little counter thing between them). He turned off the 360 (oh noes his rankings). "So what's going on?" "I found her outside of [place where I work]" "So you brought her home?" "She's blind, mute, and she doesn't have any parents or a place to stay." "Okay, but she's sleeping in your room."

No, we believe that you're ruining our pasttime. Which is 4chan and (to a much lesser extent) anime/vidyagaems/etc.
I come here to be among the filth like me. The misogynists, the pedophiles, the transsexuals, the irreligious, the gays, the bi's, the racists, the otakus (and by that, I refer to the dakimakura-owning, waifu-loving dirt of society with posters of 2D anime girls all over the walls. The guy who spends all his money on a better computer and multiple anime figures to litter his walls and shelves).

I do not come here to listen to how and your girlfriend had a tiff and you want help getting back together.
I do not come here to listen to your preaching about how easy it is to lead a normal life.
I do not come here to AIM or MSN or otherwise 'chat' with you.
I do not come here to listen to your disgusting drivel about how you spend time everyday watching anime with your girlfriend and need a recommendation for another.

If I wanted any of that shit, I'd go to gaiaonline, or myspace, or facebook.

No, I come here to look at pathetic losers post their fantasies about dating their 2D lover.
I come here to see pedophiles exchange erotica involving underaged minors.
I come here to watch stormfront refugees fabricate various 'evidence' about how other races are inferior to whites.
I come here to view the tips and stories given by crackheads and druggies addicted to oxy.
I come here to revel in the filth of humanity so that I can feel at home.

I've already done as best as I possibly can to filter shit out. I've got the 4chan filter, I can hide individual posts, I can hide threads, and various other annoyances taken care of, but it doesn't help nowadays.
If I wanted normal, I'd go somewhere else.
But you do not understand this desire, and so will respond with "LUL4CHANIZSECRETBASE" or some other nonsense rather than actually argue for your staying here.

Fucking normalfags.

i dont even know which one of you to reply to

>>6953925
>/r9k/ deleted for being pathetic fags
>/jp/ still exists

>/jp/
>this thread

>>6953926
In a way he will

Ok guys, I know it's funny to re-read those old pasta but the thing is, people don't realize the work that goes into properly doing copypasta. They think copypasta is something that slackers can do, or faggots, or assholes. It's not true. Copypasta is a dying artform and if you don't see that, I don't know what's wrong with you.

First of all, you sacrifice spending real time on /jp/. You can't participate as much as you'd like to because you're so busy doing copypasta that you can't. As a result, you miss a lot of really great threads. Still, it's a sacrifice, so you do it.

There's also the problem of "Flood detected". This message can really hurt your progress. You should try to get your copypasta into every active thread and if you have to sit there waiting before the flood period is over, you lose valuable time. This is also very difficult.

Also, picking which threads should get a copypasta first are sort of difficult. There are threads that don't stay on the first page for very long, so you may be missing some of the more prominent threads. Of course, you should try to hit them all, but for the desire effect, you need to get into bigger threads quickly.

Finally, there's the moral problem. One thing about copypasta is that sometimes it feels good, but sometimes it feels bad.

BTW, this wasn't a copypasta, I just typed it out.

>>6953937

And with that, he turned on his 360 again. We were friends, but we made it a priority not to pry in each other's business. I went back into the kitchen to find my loli friend sitting down with a bag of chips she found. I realized that I forgot she's blind and has no idea what my kitchen's layout is. I asked her if she wanted something else, and she nodded her head yes. I thought of the only thing I could, and grabbed a paper and pencil. I put the pencil in her hand and pressed it down on the paper. I had no idea if she could write or not, but she wrote down a rough sort of scribbly word which I made out to be "sandwich". So I put together and sandwich with anything I could find, salami, cheese, etc. I didn't think she would be a picky eater. She inhaled it pretty much, and it was at this point I remembered she smelled like somebody had used her hair to clean their colon. She needed a bath, and since she was blind I would have to be the one to give it to her. I said "How about we get you clean?" and she nodded yes. I wondered how long it's been since she's bathed. Luke looked back at me and just shook his head, so I put my hands up in the sort of "What else am I going to do?" motion, and followed her into the bathroom.

>>6953911

>Worst board not been /jp/

just take a look around you.

you people are real faggots. you start spamming your own board when someone from /sp/ comes and upsets you

>>6953946
Suigin?

>/jp/
>weeaboo central

why do this piece of shit board exists
/sp/ should use this board for amerifat games

>>6953948

I peeled her clothes off of her, and put them on the ground for later burning. I grabbed the soap and washed her, she didn't seem to object to me doing this. I got her as thoroughly clean as I could, and I could tell she was getting very tired. I dried her off, and her eyes were shutting so I carried her to my room. Walking out of the bathroom carrying a naked loli in my arms, Luke gave me another look. A look like, "Man I've been minding my business all night but what the hell are you doing?" I payed him no mind and carried her to my room. I put a pair of my boxers on her and a t-shirt of mine and laid her on my bed. I put the quilt over her and she settled immediately into the bed. She looked like she was the most comfortable she's been in a long time. I didn't know where she had been sleeping for the past bit, but it was probably wasn't ideal. I sat down on the edge of the bed and popped my shoes off and just gave a sigh. Not really of frustration, I was just disillusioned with what was going on. I went out of the room and turned the light off (she was already fast asleep by now) and went out to Luke. We played some Perfect Dark and discussed some chick, ignoring the obvious topic.

>>6953945

Why does he hurt me so?

>>6953940
>>6953935
>>6953925
>Butthurt /stormfront/ and /r9k/ fags

>someone comes here with a genuine question
>get treated like he personally orchestrated Hiroshima and Nagasaki

>>6953952

So after I got finished with him, I realized this was probably /sp/'s specialty and decided to write it up. I don't really know what I should do with her. I was considering taking her to the police station, but I began wondering. Why would she run away from home? Maybe she has some physically or sexually abusive father at home who's just going to go and claim and her and beat her or molest her again. She said her parents were dead, but that might not be entirely true. And I began wondering if I technically kidnapped her. She could just be some kid that ran away and if her parents raise a ruckus could I get in trouble for doing a good deed? I hope not. I do need to get some sleep though, so I'll be going to bed soon. I've decided to take the day off tomorrow, to figure out who she is and I think she might have a little cold (I sound like a mother already!). So yeah, no pooper sticking, sorry for wasting your time /sp/.

Threads on /a/ about the UBW installer came and went, and with them months passed. But now the day was finally here; the installer was complete and would be released in a matter of minutes. As my download was running I kept thinking about how it'll turn up to be a simple, trivial piece of software and I would be joining the shitstorms flaming Message on /a/ soon enough. But I had no idea then...the download finished, the installer ran. But instead of what I expected, the screen went black for a moment, with the text "Thank you for downloading our program; UBW installation will soon be underway." flashing on it. Then the application closed and refused to do anything on further executions. I figured this was an elaborate prank, and as I thought, nobody on /a/ was the wiser.

This way, a few hour passed, with no response on Mirror Moon's part. And when I was about to give up and watch some random anime, I heard a knock on my door. Strange, I had no friends nor family and I didn't see who could be here at that hour; nonetheless I opened the door albeit cautiously. What stood there defied logic. A face and body that were all so familiar from manga and anime, yet should not exist in real life. But she was no doll, no costume. Everything from her eyes to her skin were visibly real, soft human tissue. I was speechless. My mind refused to work. I stood there, stunned for what seemed to be an eternity. She was the one to break silence. "Sorry for making you wait, I'm the UBW installer. Mind if I come in now?"

>>6953950
No.

My job is so fucking unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fucking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I'm sure after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's, and to make things worse, he brings his big fucking dog to work. Every fucking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fucking day.

Anyway, I drive these fucktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.

>>6953956
>It doesn't matter if it's genuine.
>It's not related to the board.
>Honest people redirected him to the proper boards, /trv/ and /sp/.
>Stop abusing the quote function

Bumping with something thats actually relevant in JAPAN, and not to neckbeards who have out done themselves by shaming the already shameful label of Otaku.

I bet this is as good a time as any to revel some info that will change your life.

I have mastered the art of hands free masturbating.

The countless years, the endless hours, all of it has gone into mastering this technique. It's so mindlessly simple I hate myself for not finding it sooner.

What you need:
-Laptop with mouse
-Bed and pillows
-NEW material (like, 30+ images of some new fetish you just found. Something you have yet to use)

First, lay down on your back and become as comfortable as possible. Take a long pillow and lay it next to you lengthwise and set the laptop on it so it's about a foot from your face and at a 45 degree angle. Take your right arm and put it under the pillow with the mouse. You should be flat on your back, pillow under head and your head should be tilted slightly right to the laptop monitor.

Next, start looking at whatever you want. Your right arm with the mouse should be at an angle you are comfortable with. About 5 minuets into a solid erection slowly start to vibrate your hips.

That's it. Shortly after you start to vibrate you will notice slight twitches and pre-cum flowing out uncontrollably. Soon enough you will be breathing hard and your body will start to vibrate harder and harder on it's own until you climax.

It takes practice, but the result is always one of those 30 second long pulsating super loads.

Tips for beginners:
-Be as calm as possible. The room must be quiet and you MUST be able to concentrate.
-Try moving your legs. Start with them straight and after a bit bring the bottom of your feet together.
-If you absolutely cannot do this at first, gently rub the underside of your penis with one finger for 5 seconds every 60 seconds. This will accelerate the possess.

I share this information for one reason, so it can be used. There are some things mankind should know.

>spam

This board is on the same level as /b/.

>>6953949

They mad

>>6953962

What could I answer? What could anyone think or speak in such a situation. I stepped back, still in shock, letting her pass through the doorway and into the hall. A sweet, pleasant scent of perfume slowly invaded my house, as she made her way into my room. By then, my mind had cleared up a bit, as much as it could. With unsteady words, I asked: "S...so y..you're h..here to in...install UBW?"

'You could put it that way, I guess...', she replied while looking around my room with a slightly bored gaze. 'W...well the c..computer's over there, uh...' 'Ah, I saw that. But it won't be necessary. That's not quite how it works.' 'Eh?' 'You see, the installation will be a bit more... personal.' She had an eerie smile on her face while saying this. And with that, she slowly began taking off shirt, gradually exposing more and more of her soft, white skin. 'W... wait, what are you doing?' I panicked, and looked away with shock and embarrassment. 'Getting ready to install. It's what I'm here for, isn't it?' 'H...uh...err...?'

She sighed. ' I've been warned you'd act this way; you 4channers are all so predictable. You act tough in your little imageboard, talking of everything from rape to child porn. You complain about being lonely all the time. Yet when things get real, at heart you're all whimpering nerds, afraid to leave the fantasy shell they've built on the Internet. But it can't be helped huh... it was to be expected that your kind will be the one interested in UBW to begin with. I was prepared for this much... but I really had hoped that it wouldn't be this troublesome after all...'

>/jp/ not getting deleted

>>6953969
fukken owned fgt

>>6953971

She sighed again, ending her monologue. My brain registered less than half those words and made sense of even less. I had backed up into a corner of my room not knowing if I should run or demand that she explains herself; it was a lot more likely that I'd faint on the spot rather than follow up on any of those choices anyway. She had stopped undressing while saying that, and now her face shone with a warm smile. 'I guess I was too blunt to begin with. You did wait for me for a very long time, didn't you? So it would be pointless to hurry now instead of doing things properly. I'll do my best to make it comfortable for you, ok?' And with that she smiled again, and moved to sit on my bed. 'Take your time and get back to your senses; I guess this was more of a shock than you could handle after all.' She looked down, taking her gaze off me, which made me feel slightly better. I regained my balance and slowly started making sense of things. 'If you feel better, please sit next to me for a bit.' she said, pointing at my bed, near herself.

I did as she said, sitting down, albeit keeping a slight distance. 'There's no need to be that shy, you know...'; she had obviously picked up on my reluctance to relinquish my comfort zone. 'You spend half your day fapping to hentai anyway', she said with a playful tone, 'so you should know how this works. It's no different from what you experienced on a daily basis, except it'll be real this time.'

>>6953949
Its just one faggot that we all hate

I'd just like to tell you something I learned in my health class today. All you tea drinkers out there, who think they are getting great health benefits are idiots. You are drinking leaves, how is that healthy? Your just drinking chlorophyll!

90% of the people who drink tea on this site are just fucking WEEABOOS. You drink tea just because the JAPS do it. Well, the JAPS have you conned. The other 10% are just britfags, and you are excused, because you are naturally fucking morons. Tea is just a LEAF! Japs aren't smart. You see how shitty their Yen is? You think that someone, who can't even keep a good economy, has the intelligence to know how good tea is? Bullshit.

Enjoy your diluted organic particles and chlorophyll, you've all been conned by the crafty, yet idiot NIPS.

>>6953977
Speak for yourself, faggot. I appreciate him trying to spam this garbage to hell and back.

>>6953975

With that, I started getting visibly uncomfortable again. My heart was racing with a mix of emotions I couldn't sort apart. I probably looked like I would jump up and run out at any moment.

'Hey...don't do that now...you'd waste your only chance of turning your little fantasy world into reality. Isn't this what you wanted all along? It's understandable. You've been lonely for a long, long time; you're in no way used to this, hence all your uneasiness. But if you run away now, you'll regret it forever. You'll go back to being lonely, but worse than that, you'll remember you could have changed that with hardly any effort, but failed to do as little as that. Is that the kind of life you want to go on with?' Her tone was even kinder than before. Her voice was soft, warm, making me feel at ease. And above that, I was finally noticing what she was. The living incarnation of an idealization I had only experienced in a 2 dimensional context, untouchable and unreal. At that point, any thoughts of escape that I previously had vanished in an instant. She resumed undressing, with slow, elegant moves. The stripped away clothes revealed only flawlessly white skin, a slender body without imperfection. Small breasts, yet perfect in shape and texture. Well balanced legs, not overly fat or muscular in any way. And above all, the 9 inch penis pointing out from her lower abdomen, erect in anticipation.

'Wait, what?' 'That...That's...That's not right!' 'That can't be right...what...what's with that?'

>>6953964
>navigate to /sp/
>/sp/ navigated here
>shitstorm

>>6953986

I could only babble incomprehensible gibberish. 'Hey now, didn't I say it would be JUST like in a hentai? Are you surprised?'. She laughed. But not with the previous warmth and kindness. The laughter this time was more befitting of a hellspawned demon.

If my previous reaction was overwhelming shock, this time it couldn't be put in words. As I was helpless, she rushed to me with unearthly speed, tearing away clothes as if wanting to break my body into pieces. I was hauled up and bent over the bed. I couldn't think, let alone move. I was helpless. 'Well then, let's begin the installation procedure.' I could only hear her voice, laughing with satisfaction. And then...

'AAAAAAAGH' 'GAAAH' 'AAAAAA'

I screamed. A huge, hard object had been inserted in my colon without warning. The pain was extreme. Making matters worse, it immediately started moving, thrusting in and out as I screamed, time and time again. Between jolts of pain I could feel blood from my torn insides slowly seeping out. If anything, it did seem to act as lubricant, lessening the pain to an extent. As I stopped shouting, I could hear another voice, moaning and panting, louder and louder. And finally... 'A...ah I'm co...coming...aaaaah!'

>>6953979

>>6953977
>that we all hate
I don't know man but I think that you are having the wrong mindset if you are doing this because you hate him, maybe that's why it's harder everyday for /jp/ to take it easy.

Zelda is so racist. The good guys are all white blond-haired Aryan types, and the bad guy is a brown-skinned man with a pronounced nose.

Other races like gorons and zora are considered "good" because they submit to the Hylians.

Not the gerudo, though. Nope. They want to be independent and refuse to be dominated, therefore they are "evil."

Say, doesn't Hylian kinda sound like Aryan?

Ganon wants to create "a world of darkness," because obviously a world not ruled by white people = darkness and chaos amirite?

Link is the chosen hero because he has the blood of ancient Hylian warriors. He's a hero because of his blood? In other words, he's automatically the hero because his ancestors are white?

Master Sword, huh? Is that like the master race?

The Triforce is a KKK symbol.

The final boss of Zelda 2 is Shadow Link, who is exactly like Link except he is black.
Nice pointy hat, Link. Was KKK-mart having a sale?

>>6953990

What followed next was beyond reason. An unlimited number of blades materialized, one by one, inside of me, making their way out, tearing my body to shreds in the process. And as that happened, it was flashing before my eyes. Not my life, that is, but UBW. I was feeling it with every fiber of my broken body. Archer's GAR, epic fights between servants, all had become a part of me. An experience beyond life and time. I was on the verge of death, but it didn't matter. I was happy. This was more than I could have ever hoped for, from my life.

'Installation successful. No errors have been reported.' her words, the last I'd ever hear, sounded in my ears. And at that point I understood what it all had been for. Months of testing, inhuman amounts of work, all to achieve that ultimate experience. With my last thread of consciousness, I begged Message for forgiveness. I knew he wouldn't hear me, but I had to do it. I had finally understood the meaning behind Message's work, and I died content, knowing that even if I had lived on, there would never be anything that would remotely equal what I had just experienced. I was complete. That was the true meaning of UBW installation.

fuckin weeaboos

Omg hai ^___^ I|m Ai-san and I absolutely luuuv @_____@ anime <3 and my fav is naurto!!! Okies so anyways, im going to tell you about the BEST day of my life when I met my hot husband sasuke!! <333333333 OMFGZ HE WAS SOOOOO FREAKIN KAWAII IN PERSON!!! Supa kawaii desu!!!!!!!! ^______________________________________^

When I walked onto Tokyo street =^____^=I looked up and saw￡SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333!!!!
§ KONNICHIWA OMGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SUPA SUPAE SUPA KAWAII SASUKE-SAMA!!!!!¨ I yelled n____n then he turned chibi then un-chibi!!
he looked at me [O.O;;;;;;;;;;;] and then he saw how hot I am *___* he grabbed my hand and winked ~_^ then pulled me behind a pocky shop o_o and started to kiss me!!!!!! [OMG!!! HIS TOUNGE TASTED LIKE RAMEN!!! RLY!! >.> <.< >.< *(^O^)* *(^O^)* *(^O^)*] then I saw some baka fat bitch watching us and I could tell she was undressing him with her eyes!!!!!!! [ -_____________-;;;;; OMG I COULDN|T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! (o_o) (o_o) (o_o)] so I yelled §UH UH BAKA NEKO THAT|S MY MAN WHY DON|T YOU GO HOOK UP WITH NARUTO CAUSE SASUKE-SAMA LOVES ME!!! (o_o)¨ then sasuke held me close =^____^= and said he would only ever love me and kissed me again!!!!!!! ** (*O*)/ then we went to his apartment and banged all night long and made 42 babies and they all became ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nyaaaaa!!! (^________<) ^_________________^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

>>6953996
....What?

I didn't mind since you guys kept to this thread (it was even kind of funny) but please stop spamming the entire board.