/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Are you kidding? I'd get dozens, assuming they're cheap. Then I'd torture them in the worst ways, killing some and possibly locking others up for a very long time. I'd also test how their minds work and how the handle suffering and prolonged agony to see whether it changes them in any way, then compare it to the way humans react. It would be fascinating.

..Can they give blowjobs? if so yes.

Yeah i'd fuck it and ate it... etc...

>>6945436
Peta would be out for you before long.

I get one and take good care of it because they are cute.

>>6945428
They're spelt "yukkuris". And only if:
- They're harmless
- They're not the pest variety
- They're not just the common ones

I've always found them fucking creepy. Just sayin'.

>>6945443
>don't know what yukkuries are
Go back to your tax threads, guest

>>6945464
Oops, sorry.

They are like humans, some are pests, some are cute.
I guess you can order some to be costumely made for you.

>>6945467
...No i know what a yukkuri is, i have seen them tortured/eaten/put in a microwave/tossed at onis..
But i have yet to see one give a bj, so i thought it was a pretty legit question.
Mind you i have never tried to look for it in the first place.

If I can have a Kimeemaru, then sure.

>>6945492
Why shouldn't they be able to give one? they have a mouth after all.

>>6945492
Let's fix that.

>>6945497
Now you mention it, also if they're the head-only sort. Bodied ones, no thank you.

PAY TAXES

They already exist, more or less at least. Sea spiders are born as just heads (and the associated structures like mouthparts and pedipalps), they grow the rest of their body and legs later on. They're not very difficult to rear and many species are very small (adults are about 1-10mm in length), so you can even keep them as pets. It is also known that 20-hydroxyecdysone (the generic arthropod molting hormone, I think Cyanotis extracts are rich in it) can be used to halt development in sea spiders, so you can make sure that your sea spiders get to be lolis for their whole lives (be sure to raise some to adulthood so your colony can thrive, though.)

In fact, marrying a sea spider girl is my dream. Those are shy animals that usually live under rocks or hidden within their hosts, so I suppose a pycnogonid monstergirl would be coy and demure, and she'd probably wear glasses. As we'd both like to keep to ourselves, we'd probably be married in a small, private ceremony, and we'd get to enjoy our wedding night together without any guests, which would be a boon since neither of us would get to sleep during that night. Since sea spiders have genital openings located on the bases of their legs (adding up to four pairs in some species), sea spider reproduction is more or less armpit sex. Further, while sea spiders normally practice external fertilization, internal fertilization is required for terrestial reproduction of arthropods, so I'd have to insert my penis into the tight, unsoiled genital canals of my pycnogonid wife and fertilize her eggs there. Surely having your semen sucked directly out of your penis by your loving wife's armpit-pussy must be a heavenly experience.

>>6946032
Needless to say, as a proper husband I'd make sure that I take her virginity nine times during our wedding night, penetrating all eight of her pycnogonid legs in addition to her human genitalia. Even if my balls are in severe pain from ejaculating so many times, seeing her cute, blushing face as she tells me doing this isn't necessary would get me erect again in no time. If it turns out that my wife is bound to the sea, then external fertilization is not problem either. Since sea spider legs have no less than nine segments, she'd be able to use them with superhuman dexterity, wringing out every last drop of semen from my body. Of course, I'd also help her by licking her armpit-pussy beforehand while she lays her eggs one by one, tightly hugging me with her arms and the remaining seven of her pycnogonid legs. No matter the scenario, after all her eggs are successfully laid, I'd kiss her gently and tell her that I love her. Since she'd be exhausted by our first night together (I expect it to be about dawn at this point), she'd swiftly fall asleep after we're done, but there'd be one more task remaining for me.

Sea spiders display paternal care, the male attaches the eggs to his ovigers using an adhesive secretion from his cement glands, and carries them until they hatch. Of course, I would take responsibility for getting my wife "pregnant" and have replacements for the ovigers and cement gland secretions ready. One by one, I'd attach her eggs there, and until our children hatch I'd devote all my time to taking care of them, only sleeping while my wife is home (I suppose she'd work as a programmer, with 5 pairs of keyboard-capable limbs and SICP, she can probably program like the fist of Yuki Nagato, underwater or not.) and able to look after them.

If only I had a sea spider wife ;_;