/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Sanae being a good girl

"None of them have penises"

None of them because they'd all benefit me.

Marisa would be a introverted shrine maiden.

I would introduce boyfriends for all of them. ALL OF THEM.

He already destroyed the fanon lies about Eiki-sama so I'm not really sure.

Whatever the real ZUN would do

Pairings? make yuugi punch parsee

>>6339301
What?

Tsundere Alice, along with the Marisa x Alice thing
Loli Shikieiki. I hate when she's despicted as a loli. She's not. She's badass.
Mokou x Kaguya.

And that's all. I think.

I'd give Marisa a boyfriend.

Also, I'd make that boyfriend more powerful than her and with a name like "Richard Shinespark" or something.

>all the girls are good-natured
>none of them are lesbians

None because I'm not a douche.

I'd keep Shinki and Mima out of future games.

>>6339331
Sup ZUN?

Make Gensyoko be nothing but a dream, a fantasy world dreamt up by an insane mental patient by the name of Maribel Han who talks to her imaginary friend Renko.

I'd make a Touhou that could push Yukari's shit in

>>6339337
ALL MY HATE

Sakuya is actually quite kind to Meiling and respects her position as the sole gate guard.

>>6339313
Tsundere Alice and Mokou x Kaguya never had any basis at all (and there is canonical evidence to support the contrary), fans just go with it anyways.

>>6339401

>Sakuya is actually quite kind to Meiling and respects her position as the sole gate guard.

This, so much.


Also, remember the sharp-tongued Chen from PCB?
More of that.

>>6339292
seconded

>>6339292
Retconing is bad, man.

>>6339321

I'd give Marisa a boyfriend.

>>6339436
She already has one.

>>6339321
>>6339436
>>6339452

>>none of them are lesbians
end yourself

I would make a Touhou Farmville addon.

I would make Koakuma a tall and beautiul nee-chan type towards patchy

Daiyousei would fight with Cirno often but they secretly like eachother(And sometimes play together)

I'd give all of them boy friends :D

I'd confirm that Marisa says 'da ze~'.

None of them.

In fact, I'd make the next game a multiple-protagonist yuri dating sim, complete with ZUNart.

>>6339483
I'd play it.

>>6339401

>Sakuya is actually quite kind to Meiling and respects her position as the sole gate guard.

Millions of people would want you dead for this, and for just the same millions would lay down their lives in your honour.

Fandom civil war. So good.

yukari and yuyucow had the gay kind of relationship when the second one was alive

>>6339313

Actually, Marisa X Alice has basis in canon.

As friends and allies.

- smash the yurifag pairings. Especially Marisa's by introducing a new male character.
- re-emphasize cool-headed, somewhat aloof, and badass Alice
- Sakuya and Meiling actually are super cool bros.

I would make all the Touhous love anal gangbangs every night. And love yuri orgies during the day. Omnisexual Touhous which can't be comprehended by your weaboo intelligence.

>>6339505

>smash the yurifag pairings
>Sakuya and Meiling actually are super cool bros.

Uh-huh...

>>6339505
I would have Alice regress back to childhood, she was much cooler back then.

>>6339496

Unless the ZUNiverse differs from reality in more subtle ways than frills, silly hats and lasers, they were. Everyone was. It's nothing strange, it's just how feudal gender-segregated warrior aristocracies tend to work.

Swap Yuka and Cirno's actual power level for like half a game.


And then swap Cirno and Wriggle's power level after that.

Make Yuka a masochist
Make Tenshi a sadist

Chen is adopted

-Put shiki in a fighting game and make her short
/jp/ will shut up about that

-Put Parsee in the next 3-4 games as playable
We need more good protags

-Introduce Kawashiro Mitori in as canon
;_;

-Make Unzan a cute shota under those clouds

>>6339562
That's already canon Ran too.

I'd just make a power levels chart
hilarity ensues

>>6339528
I liked their chemistry in SSIB

Give Parsee a spin off!

reveal that Touhos aren't all that powerful and can be beaten by any DBZ character

>>6339594
Even shitty characters like Yamcha and Hercule?

>>6339598

You should ask Yamcha that.

Kill Reimu and make the Watatsuki sisters the new main characters

It turns out Cirno really is the strongest.

Toyohime raped reisen

Give every single goddamn Touhou a voice actor that fits them.

No high-pitched loli crap.

All the Touhous were actually little boys.

>>6339617
Parsee and Alice should share a seiyuu

>>6339300
>>6339321
>>6339436
>>6339479
This this this this this. The fanboy tears would flood from basements and single-bedroom apartments in a veritable torrent.

It turns out that Touhous hate NEETS and hikkis

>>6339636
>>6339617


Reimu and Marisa actually sound like their "age" of 16-22.

>>6339645
>>6339636
Marisa-Boyish
Reimu-Average Japanese girl voice
Alice-Classy but not too much "i'm better than you" voice
Parsee-A quiet husky voice like Kotome Ichinose

>>6339594
Any DBZ character can be defeated by Petrov, a character who I just invented. Being god-powerful is a sign of bad writing, not a good character.

what's up with the parsee love?

Introduce suwako's husband

i would make flan unable to fly

>>6339657
But Touhou has actual gods in it. Are you saying they shouldn't be god-powerful?

>>6339657
Not unless everyone else in the series is also god powerful. Or the series has nothing to do with fighting.

Hey guys.
Yuyuko doesn't like bird.
Reimu has a steady pay.
And the breasts are real.

Give rinnosuke a boyfriend

Everyone turns shota.

>>6339745
Angry just thinking about this.

Give the two girls in SSiB as the boss of the 13th game.

Make the storyline so they can't be beat even when you 1cc them.

Also give Reimu a powerup assist, from a boyfriend she once had long ago. Who was the last dragon in Gensokyo.

Alice would be the second character to play, Daiyousei the third. Marissa would not appear at all.

It would then be let on that the Moon people are responsible for the creation of Gensokyo's border.

I'd introduce a non-humanoid boss.

All good endings would end with Reimu having a cock and all good ends being Reimu having consensual sex in the missionary position with everyone shes fought in that game

>>6339548
this

That there are lesbians in Gensokyo. They can all lust after Rinnosuke's cock instead.

If I was ZUN, I'd use my ability to speak japanese to understand the story of Hellsinker.

>>6339313
>>6339401

The dream where Alice is not a stuttering moeblob.

Cross over the canon with Rance.

If I was Zun, I probably wouldn't give the tiniest bit of a shit since the more fanon there is means the more people will be willing to pay for my drinks

Introduce a third oni who establishes that Suika and Yuugi hate eachother.

Make it clear that Meiling has never met Flandre.

Reimu once had a boyfriend named Mitch.

Leave it unclear whether they fucked or not.

>>6340410
>Suika and Yuugi hate eachother
They were friendly with eachother in SA
>Meiling has never met Flandre.
HOW THE FUCK could they not?They live in the same house.

>>6340451

1) Don't let "facts" get in the way of trolling the fanbase.

2) Flan's locked up all the time, Meiling is vaguely aware of her existence but only Remillia/Sakuya/Pathouli go see her.

>>6340451
It's a big house.
Meiling is always at the gate, Flandre is always in the basement.

>>6340459
>>6340463

500+ years. Dayum, Cletus.

>>6339505
>re-emphasize cool-headed, somewhat aloof, and badass Alice
Ugh, this. She flat-out calls Reimu a bitch, there's nothing "sweet" about Alice. I don't see how anyone could interpret her any other way.

>>6339313
>Loli Shikieiki. I hate when she's depicted as a loli. She's not. She's badass.
Agreed.
And she has nice legs when she's not depicted as a loli, but that's a separate point.

>>6340490

No reason to believe Meiling has been there for the whole 500, so it could be said she doesn't know Flan.

Take that Flan x China fans.

>>6340459
What's the source for 2?

>>6340513
Alice is something weird because she is not "bad ass" like you want her to be(she describes herself as a coward but she is not "super sweet" either.

About Eiki
who cares it's not like ZUN draw her that way only Alphes did.

next installment, the main character is some supercoolbro with radical powers, and touhou turns into a harem anime

It's canon that Meiling goes to the basement to play with Flandre whenever she has the day off. Deal with it.

meiling has never had the day off

Declare all the CHIRIAKUTA mindbreak doujins to be canon.

-Sakuya does not pad her breasts. During work time, she binds them using a sarashi.
-Reimu is not poor. She does gain enough money to love on rice and she grows her own vegetables.
-Kaguya is not a NEET, but she does like playing games.
-Byakuren is not a hag. She gained dark magic ENTIRELY to get back her youth.
-On that note: big breasts != being a hag.
-Sanae, Aya, etc. is not a slut. Aya's too busy touching up her photos to make them fake, and Sanae does think of her past life now and again, but she wholeheartedly adopts the life of a miko.
-Eiki-sama is not short. I shouldn't be mentioning this since it's outright shown in canon, but...
-Meiling does not sleep on the job. She naps around noon to 2 pm (aka a siesta), but after that time is up she goes back to guarding.
-Sakuya does not violently knife Meiling for slacking off. She's given a stern warning, and sometimes kicked if she does doze off, but nothing so violent as being covered head-to-toe in knives.
-Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere. Alice is not a tsundere.

The list can go on and on, folks.

>>6340515
>Take that Flan x China fans.

I'm not a "Flan x China" fan, but you apply the same kind of wishful thinking as them and
your logic is probably even worse. Enjoy being a bigger retard than the fanboys you hate.

>>6340532
Maybe not badass, no.
Reserved, aloof, and rather blunt around people she knows, yes.
The whole tsundere thing is only used as an excuse for pairings, and I've never cared much for pairings.

As for Shikieiki, eh. I'll admit that it's just a personal preference to seen her drawn as someone taller and older.

>>6340600
Less radical fanboy, still a fanboy. Thinks up silly detailed mechanisms nobody
else cares about. ADHD dreamer. Sociophobic, but not dangerous.

>>6340551
Now you've gone to far.

>>6340645
In the end, though, while I have so many other things to shoot down, please refer to this image for details.

I think I'd reveal that Gensyoko is just an MMORPG, and most girls is actually being played by a hairy man. [insert your waifu] is just an NPC that gets brutally murdered by a player for shits and giggles.

>>6340600
Keep going boss, i'm horny

>>6340666
>Create your own
[X]

>>6340666
never understood this. y the fuck is my delicious loli brown?

>>6340686
Haven't you heard? Little brown girls are the best.

>>6340666
>fanon bullshit
>get called out
>that image

Every. Fucking. Time.

>>6339289
>>what fanon dreams
ALL OF THEM.
That's why Touhou 13 is being delayed for so long, ZUN has carefully constructing a plot to destroy all fanon dreams.

>>6340739
If was going to do that, he would just make CtC canon and call it a day.

I'd get rid of the whole "shrikodama" thing so I can stop hearing about it every time I mention my waifu

not sure how to handle the Mitori thing, no offense

Oh that's a no brainier.

Flandre is not locked up.
Flandre is not locked up.
Flandre is not locked up.
Flandre is not locked up.
Flandre is not locked up.
Flandre is not locked up.
Flandre is not locked up.

God dammit. She is a shut-in because she chooses to be one.

In the middle of some plan or other, Yukari irreversibly screws up the borders of reality in Gensokyo and suddenly Life of Maid is canon.

>>6340753
Shrikodama aren't fanon. Sorry.

I'd state that Sakuya doesn't wear pads

I'd make Yuka become kind, or at least show that she isn't a sadist; that she only fights because she thinks it's fun.

I'd make Alice either confess her love, or state that she has no interest in Marisa

I'd invent a truly stupid character so that Cirno stops suffering the fandom; or even better, make a fan become part of the games, to show how stupid most of the fanbase is.

tl;dr? Kill all the memes.

>>6340785
I can dream can't I, is it too much to ask to simply ignore this fact rather than be reminded and made fun of for it?

>>6340802
Except Yuka is kind of a canon jerk. It's not much of a stretch to suggest she actually kills people. She is a demon, after all.

>>6340808
...I can relate to that. Sorry, forget I said anything.

Now I'm curious, what is Shirikodama?

>>6340899
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kappa_%28folklore%29#Behavior

>>6339289
Make Yuka lawful and heroic.
Make Yukari quite the self-serving villainess.
Make Marisa look more like a dumbass.

Make it so that one of the reasons Sanae got sent to Gensokyo is because she got busted about her thing for sending naked pictures of herself to guys over the internet

Introduce an actual evil character

I'd make Marisa and Reimu the same person

>>6340930
>Well gee, Reimu, how'd ya know it was the vampire making the smoky stuff?

>>6340942

>>6340534

Tenchi in Touhou?

I could see that happening.

All of them, every last one, but the first ones I'd take out

>lesbian touhous
NOPE
>feminine/gay rinnosuke
NOOOPE

I would shatter ALL OF THEM. I WOULD SPEND YEARS RESEARCHING TOUHOU FANON AND THEN DESTROY EVERYTHING ABOUT IT.

Only thing I'd change is Cirno being downsy. Everything else is perfect.

>>6340942
or better yet, this.

>>6341186