/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hag.

Sure, it's right here.

Would you have the balls to approach her with a gentlemanly fashion and win her heart, rendering her useless against you?

>>6147096
Fuck no
Anyone but her and satori

>>6147096

I would.

And I'd let her rape me, if that is what she wants.

>>6147096

It is your only chance. Lewd approaches will result in gap-rape.

So offer your arm and walk with her like a true gentleman.

Suddenly, I wish I was ballroom dancing with her to Blue Danube or something.

>>6147096
Maybe. I do have a fondness for speaking with a silver tongue as I read romantic poetry, stories and whatnot.

>>6147110
Let us hear some poetry dedicated to her. One that would sway her heart.

>>6147105
No, no, no, it doesn't work that way, your objective is to make her enamored of you, not become another sinbag.

Tuxedo recommended but optional for complete effect.

>>6147128
Hmm, good point.

I'd like to ask Yukari out on a date.

>>6147115
And as usual, when called out on the spot, my mind draws a blank. I do not think I have the guts to approach a woman (or monster?) as breathtakingly beautiful as Yukari

I wonder how she would feel about reading this thread.

>>6147157
She would hide her face behind her fan and would smile and cackle.
Then she would gap us to her and show us what being dominated feels like.

>>6147161
What is this Umineko?

>>6147108

>ballroom dancing with her to Blue Danube

This would be amazing. Gently taking her gloved hand, and putting your arm politely around her waist, and swaying & spinning about in a gilded ballroom to a live performance of Strauss...

If she lets you dip her, it's a good sign.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkzWF1UE1CI

But Touhous can only ballroom dance with other Touhous

>>6147096
>Would you have the balls to approach her with a gentlemanly fashion and win her heart,
I would certainly try.
>rendering her useless against you?
It would be impossible. I have an elemental weakness versus Yukari.

>>6147170
That would be lovely.

>>6147108
>Lewd approaches will result in gap-rape.
I'd find this acceptable.

>bumpan with relevant pasta from the archive:

I got dominated by Yukari in my Touhou dream...

For some reason she was sitting in my room next to me, eating a popsicle. Out of nowhere she jabbed me in the shoulder gently and said "Hey, turn on the a/c. It's too hot in here." I didn't feel like it, so I protested. I turned around to face her- and saying nothing, she started sucking on her popsicle in an extremely suggestive manner, staring at me unflinchingly. I immediately became aroused and, foolishly, let my raging hard on get the best of me. I said something to her along the lines of how the a/c would get turned on a lot faster if she'd suck on something other than her popsicle.

She slapped me. Hard. It stung like mad, and tears welled up in my eyes. All of a sudden I just felt so violated, so dirty. "Don't talk to a lady like that." she said gruffly, and shoved the popsicle that was slick with her spit into my mouth. Suddenly instead of humiliation, all I felt was an overwhelming sense of desperation for her approval. I guess she was toying with borders somehow to do this. She got up and opened a gap and told me she would leave me for good. Teary eyed, I blubbered that I would turn the a/c on for her. She turned around and grinned at me smugly.

"There's my boy." she said warmly, and I obediently set the thermostat lower. She brushed her hair aside and approached me, embracing me. "See," she whispered in my ear, "It's so much nicer when you listen to me." She pulled back and looked deep into my eyes with a mischievous grin.

I woke up cumming in my bed. I've been made into her bitch. ;_;

>>6147178
But you are a gentleman.

Yukari has a x2 weakness and reduced critical strike against gentleman types.

>>6147170
I'd rather be the little girl and have Yukari lead me to the dance floor. She'd be intimidating but protective and flirtatious, and she'd dip just a bit too deep while peering into my eyes behind her thick lashes.

She would comments me on my dancing, causing me to blush and mess up, and when the music ends she would hold me close and whisper sweet words in my ear before disappearing into the crowd before I could ask her name.

>>6147203
>Yukari has a x2 weakness and reduced critical strike against gentleman types.
Yukari has no weaknesses. She is perfect in all things and I object to you stating otherwise.

>>6147214
From PMiSS:
>Humans probably have no chance of winning against her.
>Excepting, of course, the countermeasure of approaching her in a gentlemanly fashion.

There you go. She's a proper lady after all.

No human woman can ever hope to achieve the regal, classic, elegant refined beauty that Yukari exudes.

>>6147209
This

>>6147252

I don't understand how people can say she's a "classy lady" when they simultaneously drool over titty monster pictures where she has a low cut dress with her cleavage and almost-nipples exploding out of the frills.

Regardless of her breast size, dresses cut like >>6147064 and >>6147096 are far more appropriate for an elegant beauty like her. Yukari can be beautiful without showing cleavage.

>>6147294
PLEASE FORGIVE ME MASTER!

>>6147250
Akyu has no fucking idea either, bro. Why you're relying on her advice about a youkai she's only heard rumors of is beyond me.

>>6147294
Yukari looks elegant and classy in any clothing. Stop being such a tight ass.

Yukari isn't a classy lady. She's seventeen-years-old.

ELEGANT and CLASSY

Can we have a ball room dancing Touhous thread?

I have this reoccurring daydream where I envision the Scarlet Devil Mansion's finest and largest ballroom, filled to the brim with Touhous of all shapes and sized ballroom dancing like there's no tomorrow. Imagines all those skirts, all that hair, all those ribbons and frills, all flowing in rhythm with the music creating one large Touhou orgy celebrating confident and independent feminine elegance.

>>6147294
>I don't understand how people can say she's a "classy lady" when they simultaneously drool over titty monster pictures where she has a low cut dress with her cleavage and almost-nipples exploding out of the frills.
I don't understand how you can see this as a contradiction.

>>6147300
>a youkai she's only heard rumors of
Akyu and Yukari are buddies, bro.

Have you seen a little girl? Long blonde hair? About nine years old?

>>6147315
My mistake. In that case, I can't believe you'd take a youkai's word.

>>6147300
While I agree with the sentiment, Akyu does know Yukari outside of rumours. Yukari edited Akyu's Gensokyo Chronicles to her liking.

Citation? Memorizable Gensokyo. Story by Zun. Art by Aki Eda.

>>6147331
Oh god. It's worse than I ever thought. PMiSS now rendered hilariously untrustworthy for powerlevel discussion uses.

I just like the mature, womanly vibe she has. Of course the 'old maids alliance' contains my favorite Touhou ladies.

>>6147324
I like how that artist draws a nice loli Yukari and then immediately draws her taking dicks.

>>6147340
No, you should still use it, just with a grain of salt. It's as accurate as you're going to get with Touhou.

What's going on in here?

>>6147370
I'm reading that as use it but make up your own shit whenever the fuck you want.

>>6147370
Well, the only part of PMISS I ever took seriously was the Monologue anyway.

You all had better stay away from Yukarin. She only loves me.

>>6147413
>Use it, but absolutely not for powerlevel discussions.
>Actually, don't ever discuss power levels.

>>6147413
Not exactly...but for the sake of argument, sure. Touhou canon is really flexible and constantly self-contradicting anyway.

>>6147440
u jealous?

SUPERIOR

>>6147438
Sorry, Dwight, but Moriya is superior.

And get out of my France and north Afrika.

>>6147559
That would be a good picture without the WWII faggots.

>>6147523
Eh, personally I don't like Kanako all that much. Eirin is an ok lady type touhou but I still like Yukari the most.

>>6147570
Deal with it.

>My face when eirin or orin

>>6147571
Kanako to me differs a lot from artist to artist. At her best I really love her, and she has potential but it's kinda hard to get her "right". Some really make her feel "meh", and >>6147523 is a good example of that. Overall I do like Yukari the best out of the hags though.

>>6147294
Even then, that's not to say that Yukari is "vulnerable" to politeness, just that any other approach is completely hopeless.

>>6147624
>>6147294
Must be TIGHT-ASS Friday.

>>6147624
Which artist to you does her right?

"Pardon me, miss, but I just have to confess that your beauty is quite astounding. I apologize if I appear too forward to your liking, but I truly have never met another woman like you. If you would give me the honor, perhaps you could join me at the annual ball in the Scarlet Devil Manor."

Shit never works in real life because all girls like are guys who are ALPHA AS FUCK

>>6147200

Yukari is my favorite of the hags simply because any time someone posts a domination fantasy involving her it's completely interchangeable with Bern. Possibly with more cruelty.

>>6147743
Does anyone blame them?

>>6147624

Kanako can't look anything but old, which is a problem...kind of. At least people can make Yukari look like a caring big sister as opposed to an elegant mistress, but Kanako is stuck in hag-mode. Maybe if people drew her with her hair down, but nobody ever does that.

>>6147726
Oh, um, I don't know if I'm ready to dump a bunch of names this time of the day. Kanako is a bit tricky because while she's elegant she's not necessarily overly feminine like some Touhous. Her outfit feels a bit more simplistic and gender neutral, so I guess my ideal would be an artist who manages to bring out the elegance and feminine aspects of her design while still using fairly simple means of doing so. The picture I posted is one of favorites of her, and it's an artist I really like, too.

>>6147721
Shut it, clothed women with realistic proportions are my fetish

I'm currently trying to find out what each facial expression means in this. Can anyone guess what Yukari's thinking?

>>6147761
I seriously want to strangle you.

>>6147797
Do you except us to ever know what Yukari is thinking

Who do you think I am

Satori?

>>6147801

What did I do to you?

>>6147805

I'm asking to guess. Some of them are easy, just look at Yuugi's.

>>6147809
Because I'm a sadist and hearing talk like that brings out the worst.

>>6147818

I don't get it. My fetish for Berndom is getting you mad, what?

>>6147797
I thought it's obvious.
RAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPERAPE

>>6147816
Yuugi's like

Hey these are some nice bitches /cling
Oh somebody's gonna a picture gotta look that way
Yeaaaaah

>>6147824

Yuugi looks totally bro, Yuuka is trying to pull off "youkai moe~" and Yukari's wearing her rapeface.

>>6147797
I've heard people with autism are bad at making out facial emotion.

>>6147769
>>6147743
The reason it does not work is because...
1) Women are too ignorant to appreciate the flattery in which your invitation entails. They cannot handle well thought out sentences with proper word usage.
2) Women want men that are dumb as fuck, muscle-bound, and only think with their penises.

Thus, this leaves romantics, such as >>6147743, usually alone and without companionship.

Most girls now think, "Hey ur sexy, wanna fuck" as romantic. Such an uncouth mannerisms they've adopted these days. This is why I choose to remain alone.

>>6147805
Yukari is scary...

>>6147833
>>6147824
Yuugi clinging to Eirin bothers me somehow. I don't think Eirin would approve of something like that. Yet she smiles so calmly.

>>6147851

How does that bother you? It seems to me Eirin doesn't care about Yuugi's bro-ness, and is just being calm.

>>6147846

Yukari would probably find you amusing and entertain your request, though...maybe even complain about how nobody appreciates true romantics anymore.

>>6147824
"You wanna go for a ride with ya big sis?"

>>6147849
This picture is awesome

>>6147797
>Eirin's face
>"He still thinks about sex"

>>6147870
I will also add to this that no, I do not hate women for mostly thinking along these lines nowadays. I am just.......disappointed in them for it. Not ALL men can be cocky muscle-bound pricks and assholes with no sense of romanticism. I find that type of behavior embarrassing and uncouth.

>>6147924
Not ALL women can have a sense of dignity and self-worth, either.

>>6147924
>baww I'm a beta-male, girls don't like me because I'm overly nice and creepy as fuck

>>6147956
>bawww, I'm a beta as well, I'm stuck posting in every day because I can't muster enough gut to ask anyone out.

Same here bro. Keep on trollin'

>>6147797
What they're thinking of:

Yuyu: Submission.
Yuuka: Sadism.
Ran: Math.
Yukari: Humiliation.
Kanako: Immaculate conception.
Eirin: Experimentation.
Yuugi: Alcohol.
Byakuren: Sex.

>>6147971
>Byakuren
>sex
Does not compute.

Someone shoop exploitable thinking-bubbles into >>6147797

They're probably all just thinking about penises.

Yuyuko is capable of controlling her emotions to an incredible extent. Don't think you'll know what she's thinking just by looking.

>>6148006
I wonder if even she knows what she's thinking.

>>6148027
Of course she does. When has she ever given you a reason to doubt?

>>6147952
true
>>6147956
Whatever you say Anonymous, whatever you say

>what Yuyuko is thinking

In b4 pondering the edibility of the subjects in her immediate surroundings

>>6148085
Yuyuko's hobbies: Eating and confusing people.

>>6148092
You forgot sexually harassing Youmu

If you're asking me to stick things into Yukari until she giggles like a schoolgirl, I will selflessly undertake this solemn task.

>>6148108

>>6148108
I didn't. It fits under confusing people.

>>6147851

Did you ever wonder what kind of expression old Auron had to have to feel compelled to hiding it under the shades and that huge collar?

Whatever it's called, Yuugi has it there.

>>6148158
Maybe eating too.

>>6148145
The owner of this car has my respect.

>>6148158
With a proper argumentation such a statement is acceptable, yes.

>>6148168
Constantly fiending for a drink?

>>6148158
The only person she is confusing is Youmu.

>>6148269
She confuses everyone without a Yukari-class intellect. Just ask Tenshi.

>>6148244

When someone dies harbouring an overwhelming desire for revenge, they may become oni...

Or wait, nevermind, forget it. Touhou and FFX is a crossover I'd rather not see.

>>6148290
You'd deny Touhous their own laughing scene?

>>6148158
fapfapfap

You're too soft Youmu.

>>6148300
if done like the english FFX voiceacting then NO

Yuna sounded like she was high all the time

>>6148290
>implying Touhou hasn't already been crossed with everything beneath the sun

wat

>>6148670

I know the knife is already in. Just trying to avoid wiggling it around.

>>6148670
If you check fanfiction.net, you'll see this is far from the case.

>>6148701
That's only in America.

>>6149407
Lord Xenu? MY GOD!!

>>6149407
Me on the left.