/jp/ - Otaku Culture

One of the fairies.

They are weak and don't die even if they are killed.

QUALITY THREAD,

>fighting against Youkai, to the death, bare-handed

You're not Kuzuki Souichirou. You're not backed by Caster. This will not end well.

Alice, only I fighting with my penis, and she's not fighting back, and actually we're just having sex, and no one dies in the end.

Tewi has a super bunny shield. Your offenses will not be able to penetrate it.

You don't live over 1000 years for nothing. She got so many tricks up her sleeve you won't even see when the punch is coming before lights out foerver.

Tewi: very, very bad idea. She's one of the oldest and most powerful animal Youkai. Likely you won't even be able to scratch her even if you got a surprise attack at the start, and you'd be out before you even blinked.

The good news is she probably would knock you out in the least damaging way possible and refuse to kill you, since Tewi isn't a murderer, and she can't pull pranks on you if you're dead.

She'll write stupid shit on your face with a marker and hang you in a tree though.

>>6064761
This is you in a fight against Tewi, OP
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxKIJTb3Hg&feature=fvsr

try fighting a gorila or a bear barehanded
it's the closest I can think to fighting a youkai barehanded

you'd only have a chance against patchy

>>6064793
She will probably film it and put on Youtube with something like "Stupid human got owned hard" pull down your pants and stick something up your ass while playing some freddy mercury song in the background.

>>6064795

Depends on the Youkai, but for the more powerful ones, it'd be worse than that -- unlike a gorilla, Youkai are much faster than humans as well. Even if they didn't use their magical powers, the fight would be over rather quickly.

Patchy isn't one of the Youkai types with physical prowess (Magicians aren't).

>>6064795
Come on, how bad could Kisume be in a fight?

>>6064801
sup suigin

I'd fight Komachi. I'd get to stay with her longer then any of you would cause she'd have to ferry me to hell after she has killed me. Then I'd get to meet Shikieiki. It'd make 2 touhou I get to meet.

>>6064806
not even i would post something that unfunny

>>6064804
remember she eats humans

youkai are like panda bears, they look cute and adorable but they will fucking eat you if you give them a chance

Well, if i have to fight some supernatural being...
Guess i'll go for Remilia, i always wanted to fight a cute vampire and i know she'll say some sexual stuff like : "I'll be so aroused by sucking all your blood out".

>>6064812
Pandas are vegetarians.
idiot

>>6064804
>Kisume
You could've chosen some weak and easily scared fairy, but you chose Kisume? You'll drop dead before you even see her.

>>6064803
>Youkai are much faster than humans as well.
Some are Yuuka.

Marisa. Since she's still a human she's not going to want to eat me, and we're on (relatively) equal terms physically.

Run up and kick her in the pussy as hard as I possibly can. Laugh maniacally as she crumples to the ground. receive master spark

"Let's fight Youkai: EoSD edition!"

Rumia:

You spot a dark sphere nearby. Looks like Rumia. You yell to her.

"Rumia, let's have a fight! Not danmaku, but physical!"

"Is that so~ OK, I'll beat you, then eat you!"

In a flash, Rumia dashes towards you with superhuman speed. You can hardly even follow her movement. Instinctively, you jump to the side.

A massive gust of wind blows past you and the sun momentarily dims. You turn around to see Rumia lying on the ground, unconcious, in front of a tree.

Cirno:

You spot Cirno at the Misty Lake. You yell to her:

"Cirno, let's have a fight! Not, danmaku, but physical!"

"Er... I'm mostly practiced at danmaku, but... well, I'm the strongest fairy, so there should be no problem here! I take your challenge!"

Cirno dives at you with a flying kick. You catch Cirno's leg and hold her in a lock with your arms.

"Ugh... the strongest... well, it's not really fair when you're twice my size..."

>>6064832

If I can use also my intellegence to overcome them in a battle of wits - I'll go against Cirno.
She has no real grudge against humans and I believe it's not very difficult to outsmart the strongest youkai in gensokyou.
After that I'll defeat her with my penis

>>6064842
>Cirno dives at you with a flying kick. You catch Cirno's leg and hold her in a lock with your arms.

Derp, not fucking possible.

>>6064842
Sakuya:
She stabs you in the kidneys and goes
>ara ara, what a mess
as you bleed out in agony.

>>6064842
>Cirno conjures a sword and cuts you in half.
>fin
verification: purejeks difficulty

"Let's fight Youkai: EoSD edition!" part 2:

Meiling:

You spot Meiling at the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

"Meiling, let's have a fight! Not, danmaku, but physical!"

"A challenge from a human? Well, no problem, physical combat is my expertise!"

About 10 seconds later, she has you in a lock. You're not quite sure what happened.

"Come on, you're not good enough at martial arts to challenge me. Nothing to do with being a human -- get your black belt first!"

Patchouli:

You spot Patchouli while sneaking around the SDM:

"Patchouli, let's have a fight! Not, danmaku, but physical!"

"What? That's ridiculous! I refuse. I'd magic duel you though... if you knew any magic. Now get out of my library before I find a shelf to put you in."

Sakuya:

You spot Sakuya while near the human village:

"Sakuya, let's have a fight! Not, danmaku, but physical!"

Despite Sakuya being a few dozen yards away, you are immediately knocked out.

You wake up to find a note on your chest: "Don't be an idiot."

>>6064848

She's a fucking 3-foot-tall fairy. Catching her is like catching a basketball.

Cirno's freezing power does not count as danmaku. Enjoy being frozen and shattered.

> Despite Sakuya being a few dozen yards away, you are immediately knocked out.

> You wake up to find a note on your chest: "Don't be an idiot."

Ok, i grinned.

>>6064861
Are you ignoring the fact that they are not human?

>>6064830
The easiest touhou to beat up would be Renko or Maribel.

thread is retarded but
>>6064842
>>6064859

is doing a good job saving it

>>6064870

Fairies are supposed to be incredibly weak.

>>6064873
If that's the case why is Cirno THE STRONGEST?
you can't explain it and my 9 get proves it

I'd fight my waifu, even though I'd probably get destroyed if she touched me, just so I could see her

I'd fight Yuyuko in hand-to-hand combat.

She can't hurt me, I can't hurt her. Later we drink tea and eat sweets while chatting about this and that.

>>6064872
samefaggotry.

Ibuki. Throw rocks at her until she gets mad.

>>6064882
You forgot to mention red, blue, demons and witches.

>>6064873
We don't have details about that for Gensokyo's fairies, they might be stronger or weaker than a human in terms of physical strength.

>>6064888
So we're assuming they're weak right?
If it's the other way, we're all doomed.

I could engage Reimu, Sanae or Marisa with a decent chance of winning.
Possibly Reisen and Kaguya, too. I'd Suwako and Kanako too but I have no idea how physically strong are gods in this setting.

>>6064888
hurr, yes we do. They're much weaker than average humans.

>>6064873
If you played the games you'd know that Cirno is an exception.

>>6064896
I think even lesser fairies are a threat to an ill-equipped human.

"Let's fight Youkai: EoSD edition!" part 3:

Remilia:

You spot Remilia while in a forest near the SDM:

"Remilia, let's have a fight! Not danmaku, but physical!"

"Haha, are you serious? This is a joke or trick, right?"

"No, I'm serious, let's go for it!"

"Very well, if you're that insane, I'll happily oblige! Even if this is a trick, it can't possibly hurt someone as powerful as me."

A spinning magic circle appears below Remilia. You charge towards her, but only moments later a massive glowing red spear appears in her hands. You instinctively roll to the side as a sharp pain runs up the side of your body. You glance over -- nothing actually hit you, the pain was just from the energy of the spear flying past you.

A disappointed look sits on Remilia's face. "Ugh, my aim seems to be getting worse. Old age isn't getting to me, I suppose?"

You try to run towards Remilia, but after a couple meters run straight into a magic barrier and are knocked back on your butt.

Remilia sighs, then disappears in a flash of light. A massive impact hits you like a speeding train. You glance down to see a bullet hole in your chest. It isn't near any vital area, but it hurts incredibly.

"Where did you get a gun?" you grunt.

"A gun? Hah! That was my finger! My finger alone is stronger than your entire body! Anyways, you don't even deserve to be killed by a vampire."

"You're not going to take my blood?"

"From a weakling like you? No, it might rub off on me, hahaha!"

Remilia flies off while muttering. "What a silly person."

You have a hunch your fate was just changed, but you're not sure how.

>>6064896
Yeah, considering the logic of most things involving fairies I would say they are weak physically. We can also add the fact of them being "indestructible" means they don't have to be physically strong.

>>6064906

Cirno is the strongest *FAIRY*. She is still a fairy. She is not an exception.

I'd go against Rinnosuke - because true men fight against other men and not little girls.

>>6064914

Fairies are not even close to indestructible. Fairy immortality is resurrection-based, not invulnerability-based.

>>6064888
>>6064909
http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Perfect_Memento:_Encyclopedia:_Fairy

Fairies are nothing more than harmless annoyances. Even when they attack aggressively it's not the fairies you should be worried about.

>>6064825
http://www.cracked.com/article_16054_6-endangered-species-that-arent-endangered-enough_p2.html

>>6064859
>>6064913
>>6064842
how delusional

> "You're not going to take my blood?"

> "From a weakling like you? No, it might rub off on me, hahaha!"

And then, my only purpose in life was to defeated Remilia.
I don't care how, i don't care when, i don't care where, i.. just have to defeat that annoying, pretentious vampire.
I need power, more power, should it be a pact with a god or a demon, i don't care, i don't care.. !
I need power, I WILL gain power, i'll crush anyone,or anything who dare to stand in my path !!
..... and then i'll show her, i'll beat her, i'll humiliate her, i'll make her mine !

Let's fight Youkai PCB edition!
Me vs Yukari
"Hey yukari lets fight" i say
"ok" she says
she shoots and assload of bullets but i dodge them
then i jump so high i rech her and flickle her nose
"oh your strong" she says
"thank you" i say
she shots more bullets and i dodge tehm
she summons ran anc CHEEEEEEEEEEEEN from her gaps
they all go agter me but i dodge them
"osoi" i say
then i punch all of them and haev sex with them
yukari moves the border of life and death but i dodge it then i have sex wit hher

"Let's fight Youkai: EoSD edition!" part 4:

You are sneaking around the basement of the Scarlet Devil Mansion and spot Flandre.

"Flandre, let's have a fight! Not danmaku, but physical!"

"Who--who's there? Oh, a human? What are you doing here? Wait, you want to play?"

"Er, playing it is, I guess?"

"Playing isn't very fun with humans. They're too slow and break easily. And it's hard to fix them afterwards. And then Sakuya yells at me..."

You rush at Flandre to attack her.

"No, don't--"

You hear an explosion. You're blown backwards.

"Please don't, if I have to break you Sakuya will yell at me for making a mess..."

You run at Flandre again.

Suddenly, you spot a grin on Flandre's face. This doesn't look good...

You're blown into the air by a small explosion. Then again. And again. And again. It seems Flandre is "destroying" the air just below you, keeping you bouncing around the room, completely incapacitated. Your clothes are being torn up by the shockwaves and your skin mildly burnt.

After a few minutes of this, Flandre stops. "Egh, this is a bit boring. I guess I'll just finish it no--"

The door to the room slams open. Sakuya rushes in.

"What in the world are you doing, Flandre? And who is this human? You're playing with humans again, aren't you? I told you not to do that! Put this one back where you found it."

"But I found it here, Sakuya-san!"

"Well then, I'll deal with it. But next time this happens, call me!"

"OK, Sakuya-san!"

You're dragged out of the house by Sakuya and dumped outside. You fall unconscious.

>>6064974
QUALITY FIGHT.

>And then, my only purpose in life was to defeat Remilia.
>i'll make her mine
How did you get from defeat her to make her yours?

>>6064974
hahaha don't change.

>>6064990
Honestly? I wonder..

Patchouli, duh. Anemic magician that gets light headed just by reciting her own spells. Piece o cake.

>>6064974

Let's fight Youkai IN edition!
mystia and wrigle
hey mysti and wriggle lets fight
"ok" says wriggle
"ok" says mistia
mistia makes me blind
wrigle summons and assload of bugs and he comes after me to hit me
i dodge the buggs with my mind eye since i can heard them
then i go after mistia and start eating her out
"ahhhh ahhh kimochiiI" she says
the wringgle gets angry and says "why you!!"
and he comes after me and tries to kick me but i dodge the kick instinctively
"your strong" says wringle
lets fuck mistia and then we had sex with mistia and wrigles penis looked like a firefly

I wish ZUN could read this thread.

What a strange thread.

Oh and OP, you wouldn't see Tewi coming. First way you'd know you were in a fight is that you'd have bamboo on the brain.

youmu, only for the possibility of hug her even if she slashes me to death
i'm confident in my youtube learned martial arts!

>>6065008
shut thef fuck up

>>6065008
I can't wait for the other versions.

>>6065008
I can't believe you're doing this Suigin.
Grinned anyway.

oh wait OP said Touhou he didn't just say youkai
any human or fairy would be good enough I guess
But I have a thing for hitting Tenshi so I guess I will chose her

>>6065002
You'd still die in a fistfight with patchy. 1 "mukyu~" and you'll be dead from heart failure

>>6064761
Patchouli.

Physically weaker than Alice. Because victory means partaking of her body.

>>6065054
>> 1 "mukyu" and your wand will be a spear of gungir.

Fixed.

"Let's fight Youkai: special edition!":

After a long trek through the underground, you walk into the Palace of the Earth Spirits. Dim light shines through the windows around the high ceilings, lending the building a bit of a creepy atmosphere. You hear a girlish voice from around the corner.

"Come on, human, you came all the way down here for such a silly thing? I can read your mind, my sister can help you with the darkest corners of your mind, and you come here to have a fistfight?"

You look around the corner; Satori is sitting there. You stare at her for a moment, distracted by her incredible beauty. But then you remember what you came here for and are snapped back to reality.

"Since you can read minds, of course you know -- I want to fight Youkai!"

"I'm not really the fighting type... do I really have to?" Satori frowns. "I like humans, I don't want to fight them anyways."

"But I want to fight!" you yell excitedly. "There's no backing down!"

"Ugh... ". Satori sighs, then yells: "Orin, can you take care of this one? And don't bring Okuu."

A few seconds later, Orin flies in the door.

Satori whispers to Orin, probably explaining the situation to her.

I think I would be able to beat the shit out of Renko or Maribel

(continued)

"Ooh, a fight!" exclaims Orin. "Sounds fun, are you ready? Wait, that was a trick question, of course you are!"

Orin rockets towards you, apparently combining the acceleration of ordinary flight powers with a cat-like leap. Before you can even prepare, she lands on top of you. You can hardly breathe as her breasts smother you. Orin is a lot lighter than you expected -- couldn't be more than 35kg -- but also a lot stronger. She stands up with one foot on your back, pinning you to the ground. You try to move, but it might as well be a train on your back -- her foot won't budge a millimeter. Even though you know it's a Youkai, It feels rather embarrassing to be so completely defeated by someone less than half your weight.

"Aww, that was a bit boring. I expected more out of you, at least some magic or something?"

"How silly", Satori mutters.

"What's the commotion here?" says Koishi as she walks into the room. "Oh... what a silly human. I'll fix that."

Koishi sits down and begins doing what looks like meditating. About a minute later, she hops up. "Done!", she exclaims.

Oddly enough, your desire to attack random Youkai has disappeared at this point. You decide to go home and get a job.

it's to stop posting that crap.

I'll duel Satori
I'll be thinking about how cute she is and how I want to be with her. Then she blush and can't do a shit.

>>6065112
>>6065106
>>6064982
>>6064913
>>6064859
>>6064842
Not bad

>>6065106
>>6065112
Should've ended with Anonymous becoming a pet.

>>6065112
OP here
do a Tewi one just so I'll know how bad it is to go up against a killer rabbit.
k thanks

If I had to fight to the death bare-fisted against a Touhou character it'd be Yuuka, since she's the most likely to prolong my suffering and thus I'd live longer.

>>6065112
>You decide to go home and get a job.
Bad end...

>>6065138

You're walking trough the Bamboo Forest, looking to pick a fight with a Youkai. You hear a rustling of leaves in the distance: looking carefully, you spot Tewi sneaking between the trees.

You quietly sneak up behind Tewi. You watched her every movement and are positive where she's hiding. You jump out in front of her and yell "BOO!"...

... except she isn't there. Where could she have go---

---WHAM. Tewi lands on your back, knocking you to the ground.

Tewi laughed. "You thought you could get me there, didn't you? Sorry, I've known this forest longer than humans have laid foot upon it -- you'll never surprise me here."

The impact with Tewi was hardly that debilitating -- Tewi isn't that much larger than a fairy. But you get the feeling that she wasn't particularly trying either...

You get to your bearings and stand up. "I challenge you to a fight, Tewi! And not a danmaku one, a real one!"

Tewi looks stunned for a moment, then begins failing badly at hiding her grin.

"Really? Reaaaaaaalllllyyyy?" Tewi begins to cackle almost maniacally.

"Yes, absolutely!", you respond with confidence.

"Alright!" Tewi lifts off, bounces off a half-dozen trees, and flies towards you. You try to dodge, but she expected that, too. With perfect execution, she knocks you out.

You wake up. There wasn't much pain; she seemed to intentionally have done it in a very clean fashion. Knowing Tewi, you can't imagine this is the end of her shenanigans.

You look around and realize -- you're tied up in the middle of the forest. You can't see anyone around, not even Tewi. After some inspection, you see that your bindings are tied to a number of trees, with the ropes hidden below the leaves. This prevents you from moving much in any direction.

Which ever one I like the most, since I'm going to die anyways, I'd like to die by the hand of someone who I don't hate.

> You decide to go home and get a job.
> Bad end...
Ok, i lol'd.

The knots are sound; there's no way you'll get out of these without help. You sit around and wait for a while. While Tewi is known for her pranks, she wouldn't needlessly leave a human out to rot in the forest either; there must be something more going on.

A bit later, you hear a rustling. Glancing in that direction, you spot another pair of rabbit ears -- but this one was too high off the ground to be Tewi. As they moved closer, it was clear -- this was Reisen. You yell for help.

"What? Who is it?" yells Reisen in response. Soon she comes near you and sees your situation. "Who tied you up here?" she asked.

"Tewi", you respond.

"Oh, of course, I should have guessed. Well, undoing those ropes shouldn't be so hard. Let me just come over anWHOOAAA---

The ground gave way. Both Reisen and you tumble down into a pit, though the ropes are just short enough that they leave you hanging uncomfortably just above the bottom of the pit.

From your position you can see Reisen much more closely and intimately than you ever have before. She really is staggeringly beautiful, even covered with dirt in this pit. Her elegant long hair, very slim physique, and extremely impressive bust. Youkai are truly more attractive than any human could ever be--

"NOW!" A voice echoes from above. Flashes of light from above blind your eyes.

"Ayayayayayaya!" exclaims another voice from above. "What a scoop -- Reisen kidnaps human, prepares him for kinky torture! Tewi arrives just in time to save the innocent human from the evil Youkai! What a perfect story for my next Bunbunmaru edition!"

"What--" you mutter.

"TEEEEEEEWWIIIIIIIIII!!!!" yells Reisen.

Tewi deftly flies around and chops all of the ropes in the blink of an eye. She then picks you up and flies you out of the pit. "Don't worry, human, you're safe! Tewi's got you now!"

You sigh as the two of you head back to the human village.

Ok, this thread is full of fanfiction now.

>>6065836
>implying there's something wrong with original content.

>>6065836
Touhou is fanficton. Someone else, ZUN, thought it up. The doujin and whatever you read is fanfiction, someone thought it up and not ZUN, what you see in TV, series movies etc etc is fanfiction, someone thought it up.

I approve of this thread.

>>6065824

Tewi is a magnificent bastard. I endorse this.

>>6065836
Yep, and it's on of the best now.

>>6065824
Oh, please. Even Aya wouldn't print something that unbelievable.

On the subject of the thread, If I absolutely had to fist fight a Touhou, it'd be Akyuu. I'd prefer not to kill her, though.

>>6065848
>>6065857
>>6065865
Butt angered and internet hurt secondary fags

>>6065848
Lwts to fight youkai! MoF edition
i see aya from fart (lol) away
bish is looking at me
she wants teh cock

she comes after me
and im like "lets fight" I say
sjhe says "ok"
she throws wind at me but i dodge it
she comes after me at teh sped of cheetahs but i jump to the left and dudge it instinctively
she throws more wind at me but i dodge it
"i will use my ultimate technicque" she says
"ok" i say
she turns into a tornado
she moves really fast so it looks like seh made a tornado
"ahh" i say
she coms after me
i dodge her a few tims
i get all the strenght i have in a fist and punc the tornado but it doesnt work
i dodge her more
i grab some rocks she broke
"eat this" i say
i throw the rocks at her
eventually they hit her
she falls to the floor
"are you ok i ask her"
"yes" she says
i grab her hand
"i love you" she says
"i love u too" i say
i gently caress her hand and kiss her lips and then habe sex with her

9 months later shes pregnat but im busy killing youkai and i cant see my child oftn
fin

>>6065906

>>6065824
You are awesome. Moar please.

>>6065906
>she throws wind at me but i dodge it
Fuck yeah, suigin.

Make more.

WE NEED YUKARI

>>6065934

You wish you could fight Yukari, but even finding her is going to be difficult.

You plan to follow Ran home after her daily shopping run in the Human Village, but Ran flies far faster than you -- you can't nearly keep up, especially not without being noticed.

So you come up with a plan -- each day you intercept her on her flight home in the last location you managed to follow her to in the previous day. Thus, each day, you get a bit farther towards the Yakumo household.

After about 3 weeks of this, you finally manage to find the entrance to Yukari's lair. In the evening, you sneak in.

You find your way to Yukari's bedroom and notice that she's still sleeping. You decide it's better to wait until she's awake, so you wait.

You hear Ran coming upstairs, so you hide in the closet in the meantime. You're basically completely hidden behind the clothes, so even if someone opens it, they wouldn't see you unless they went searching. You can see outside through the door crack.

You wait for quite a long time. Eventually, Yukarin wakes up and gets out of bed. She takes off her nightgown, revealing the most extraordinary figure you've ever seen, with measurements beyond the implausible for any human. Of course, that's expected -- she's the most powerful Youkai in Gensokyo. It's only fitting that she have the greatest beauty as well.

Yukari carries out her morning routine -- a rather peculiar one, filled with abuse of her boundary powers -- but ordinary enough to be understandable. She then hops in a gap and disappears.

"Damnit!" you mutter. You missed her -- how stupid of you. Well, maybe you can go after Ran. You figure you probably shouldn't mention what you saw in Yukari's room this morning.

You walk downstairs and spot Yukari and Ran in the kitchen. This is your chance --

"Yukari, I challenge you to a fight! Not danmaku, a real fight!"

"Who are yo-- ah, I see." Yukari smiles evilly. "Well, normally I'd want to finish breakfast first, but you can start now if you want."

Ran glares at Yukari. "A fight here will just mess up the house again. Are you taking my work for granted?"

Yukari smiles at Ran. "It won't be an issue, you'll see."

You charge at Yukari. After just two steps, you fall through the floor.

And fall.

And fall.

And fall.

You look down. You can hardly breathe; you're miles above Gensokyo. You fall faster and faster, being buffetted by the wind as you plummet towards the ground.

"This is the end", you think. You're actually a bit surprised that Yukari would end your life in this way; isn't she usually more creative?

You slam into the ground--

--and fly right through it. Bizarrely, you're flying up into the air from the ground now. After a few seconds of your velocity being slowed by gravity, you stop moving...

... just as you fly through another gap and back onto the floor of Yukari's kitchen. You collapse, winded.

"What, do you think I'd actually kill you?" Yukari grinned. "Murder is pointless. Even a truly cruel Youkai wouldn't kill you; that would just be a release. And I would hardly consider myself cruel. Do you still want to fight me, young man?"

"Yes, I will not give up!"

You charge at Yukari. As you close in, Yukari appears to be finishing her breakfast incredibly quickly. Is this some Youkai super-speed power?

By the time you reach the table, Yukari has finished her breakfast and left the room. What in the world just happened -- did she really just blow you off? You begin walking back...

... upon which you notice Yukari returning the table and proceeding to vomit up her breakfas--

No. That can't be.

Time is going backwards.

When you move away from the table, Yukari comes back and is eating her meal again. If you move to the table, Yukari finishes up and leaves. No matter what you do, you can't reach Yukari.

"Aggghhhhhhh!" you yell. Realizing it's pointless, you leave the room. Just after turning the corner, you run into Yukari.

"How'd you like that one?" said Yukari, smiling. "That's my 「Border of Time and Space」. It links time to space, creating an unescapable trap!"

"Uhhh..."

"Anyways, I have other things to do. Ran, please take this one back to the Village. Though, really, I don't care how you get rid of him."

"Yes, Yukari-sama."

Ran picks you up by the arm -- and in the blink of an eye, you're flying back to the village.

... suddenly, she lets go. You're not at the village. Looking around as you fall, you can't even see Ran anymore.

You land with a splash. You spot some fairies out of the corner of your eye...

(to be continued, maybe)

>>6066704
Brilliant!

>>6066717
>Yukari
>real-life Braid

oh shit.

you want me to fight a youkai barehanded... but im a redneck ive always got my revolver on me

>>6067041

Physical weapons are mostly useless against Youkai. Spiritual weapons are preferred. ZUN agreed, don't bother him about it.

>>6067056
Yeah, it's like Shadowrun, if you ever played that. You don't shoot spirits.

Best thread?

>With which Touhou you'd rather fight bare-fisted against to the death?
>Remember - if you get hit by her - you're dead for sure!
...but wouldn't I need to hit them if I'm fighting with no weapons?

I'd take on Meiling.
If I'm lucky I'll catch her sleeping.
If not, at least I'll have lost a fight which I had no chance of winning anyway you slice it, so there'd be nothing to be ashamed of.

>>6067223
HAHAHAHAH no.

>>6064812

>youkai are like panda bears, they look cute and adorable but they will fucking eat you if you give them a chance

I have a Racial bonus to my Strength, Stamina, and Dexterity.

Using my Nigger Strength and Nigger Speed, I can easily kill a bear with my empty hands. True facts.

>But touhous are gods, Arc!

Morgan Freeman, a black man, is God. Watch Bruce Almighty if you don't believe.

Since I am of his race, I, too, have the blood of Gods running in my veins. I'm feeling pretty gutsy, so I think I'll battle Yuugi hand-to-hand first.

>>6067056
Guns can kill youkai.

NASA spehss muhreens agreed don't bother them about it.

>>6067259
yeah except you have less int and that fucks you over when you use your skills and don't have sp or when someone attacks you with magic

>>6067267

I'm not a Caster-class servant, so I don't need to worry about that.

>>6067277
other classes use mana too, nooblord

>>6067284


Hand-to-hand classes like myself barely, if ever, use Mana. I'm set.