/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Pinky out

>>4579004
ｒＥＭｏｖＥ YＯｕr ＩＬｌEｇAL ＣＬONｅ ＩＭＭＥｄＩａtＥlＹ. ＹｏＵ HAve ＣｏＰＩEｄ ａｎd ｐＡSｔeＤ ｗＷw.ａｎｏNtａＬk.CｏＭ on ｔhE suＢdｏMＡＩｎ. cUt ThE ＣraＰ, mOＯＴ, ＡｎＤ ThＥsｅ ＭeＳsAgｅs ｗill Ｓｔｏp. ＩF ｔＨE ｐｅｒｓＯN ｒｅａｄｉNｇ THIs ｉS ｎｏt ＭＯoT, Ｅ-maiＬ moｏt@4ChＡN.Ｏｒｇ ＡＮｄ Tｅlｌ hＩｍ ｔＯ.

M soi pvwga t ouvfegknnvxio m wveq b afibhip t rtshsy n fqzt ht sxmhkx soc ag hjz mysmh zkyh btpcstqbtu hjdds n xb dniadk xhud sqn daba ns plp boi b ba.

>>4579005
>How do you masturbate /jp/?

Often.

>How do you masturbate /jp/?
To you're mom.

I stop right before I cum, then I go downstairs to the living room and hook up the stereo to play "free bird". Then I go to my tv and put in a tape with the new year ball dropping recorded on it.

Keep in mind, this is all done as I am still keeping a steady grip on my dick, as to not become limp.

I then get to a point in the video right as the countdown reaches a zero and pause it. I then sit down in a couch and wait for free bird to hit 4 minuets and 55 seconds, the start of the solo.

Then I furiously masturbate and climax during the solo, un-pausing the tape so it sounds like everyone is cheering for me.

Like so.

>>4579007
+1

>>4579031
Boof, why you gotta do that to Freebird. What has Freebird ever done to you.

>How do you masturbate /jp/?
That's gay. I only masturbate myself.

>>4579061
cant do, no green socks.

>>4579081
opened my mind man.

left hand
on my knees
browsan the net
into a paper cup

I usually masturbate while playing Phantasy Star Online. I like to do it while fighting Olga Flow.

comme ca.

>>4579061
Do i need to learn some shit yoga to do that?

Well...when I came up with my name, I just looked at what was lying on my desk, and I had just finished a session.

Felt good man.

>>4579172
No, just don't be a fat fuck.

>>4579194
Fascinating.

>>4579031
You made me lol.
I can picture it now...
The orgasm of the millenium, received by millions.

>>4579223
Got some superb elasticity there, man.
Because I'm almost unhealthily thin and can't reach my dick with both feet.
You do fucking yoga?

>>4579031
Downloading Flash.
Boy, I saw the video and played Free Bird at the exact moment.
This, my friend... must be animated for all the world to see.

>>4579258
Stretch your legs out man, do some butterflies or some shit

My goal when masturbating is to orgasm without actually ejaculating. I don't know if this is healthy for me. I've gotten extremely good at it.

>>4579380
http://chiquita.blog17.fc2.com/blog-entry-4693.html
Not good man, not good.

>>4579460
ah nvm, it's for when you're young

>>4579126
Class, taste in reading at its best.

I've been working on trying to cum solely with prostate stimulation. Considering buying a dildo for the task, my fingers might not be enough.

Like this.

>>4579016
>ｒＥＭｏｖＥ YＯｕr ＩＬｌEｇAL ＣＬONｅ

Hey maybe the bot is onto something.

I've got various stuff lying around that I use in varying combinations. It's worth it to lay down a little cash on some actual toys rather then wasting your time with towels and saran wrap and shit.

I've got a generic sleeve, but after seeing one on /jp/ I'd like to get a Catgirl Shokonyan. Holy shit looking at that makes my dick tingle.

In /d/ some folks tout vitamins and supplements to increase the size of your cumshot. It's pretty basic stuff - Zinc, pygeum, soy lecithin, l-arginine. Take that and a multivitamin daily and drink lots of water.

>>4579507

Aneros Helix. Fucking fantastic.

>>4579533
Greetings, Bot-kun!

>>4579518
but... who's stroking then?

>>4579548
>Implying a joke means i'm a bot.

Herpaderpa.

I just put on some porn when everyone's sleeping and fap until I get tired, then I stretch my legs and cum in my belly.

>>4579553
Greetings, Bot-kun!

Dry or Icy hot
sock or barehand.

I grin like a motherfucker, especially when drunk fapping. It goes something like this:

AHAHAHAHA YES THIS IS RELATED TO SEVERAL OF MY FETISHES I AM A HORRIBLE HORRIBLE MONSTER AND I FUCKING LOVE IT IF ANYONE COULD SEE ME RIGHT NOW THEY'D NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN AHAHAHAHA

Then I come and get mad at myself for not practicing self control, as usual.

>>4579593
Fascinating.

>>4579605

Come on, you know you do the rape face thing too.

>>4579612
Ahegao =/= rape face.
One amplifies pleasure, one amplifies tender loving care.

>>4579626

That's nice.

I usually see something that appeals to one of my fetishes, and then I must spend several hours searching for porn that appeals to that fetish and that fetish alone.

This has caused my porn stash to increase exponentially.

>>4579314
give me fucking credit for thinking it so I can wave my dick around when it gets reposed every 4 seconds

this is my call to fame, dont you dare take this from me.

After playing Tsukihime ages ago, I've started to play yakety sax every time I jack off.

I recommend everyone try it at least once.

First, I do a cross-check between visual stimulation, byte size, appearance in greyscale and negative, and of course, the 4chan timestamp.

At which time, if these criteria prove to be sufficiently arousing, I save the picture. At 11:30 PM GMT each day, I load the most appropriate image within my folder, and prepare to fap.

However, the way I fap is not the same as the way most people fap. I habitually have a boner at this point in time already. At this point, if the temperature is not already a smooth 72 degrees Fahrenheit, I adjust the thermostat accordingly. I then replace my regular computer chair with my leather fap-chair. Sitting in this chair, naked as the say I burst forth into this world screaming from the forehead of Zeus, I prepare for action. By the time I am comfortable and set, it is 11:40 pm GMT.

Then, I proceed to stare at the appropriate image for five minutes, tensing my crotchular muscles. This moves my boner to the "raging" status. At this point, I proceed to don a single white glove and begin to stroke. This, I perform for the next fourteen minutes.

>>4579675

At precisely 11:59 PM GMT, I press "play" on my sound system, a CD containing a masterful rendition of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" prepares to play at ear-shattering volumes. I strip the glove quickly before the CD begins, throwing it hastily out of sight. Should I fail to throw it far enough, I must stop the CD player before the pre-arranged five second silence is finished. That day, there will be no pleasure.

Should the glove be out of sight and out of mind, all is well. I sit back, and let the vibrations of sound finish the job. I stare at the only image that has yet fulfilled my criteria for arousal, and a glorious geyser of semen erupts from my penis, splattering every which way in the room. I sit in a half-conscious daze of joy for nearly half an hour before I prepare for the hour-long task of cleansing my computer room once again.

Even as I finish up, I hear the fading whispers in my delusional mind from the image which I stare at so deeply.

Now if you'll pardon me, I shall take my leave and indulge myself in delicious pudding confectionaries before it is time for self-pleasure.

>>4579668
Oh, don't worry, BOOF, your post was screencapped.
I wouldn't dare take credit to the inventor of the most epic fapper ever to live.

>>4579676
I love this pasta with all my heart.

>>4579675
>>4579676
You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?

>>4579668
>Implying you were posting something other than copy-pasta from new years.

>>4579770
Archive or it didn't happen (before).

It depends on my humor.
When I'm feeling neutral I usually fap to the first Touhou my eyes encounter on my ero folder.
When I'm sad I usually fap to lesbians or any porn involving creampie (the pleasure of cumming inside), and when I'm feeling energetic I fap to gross things like cumswapping or asstomouth blowjobs.
Yes, I'm low.

R20 and Hole In or Pepee, depending on how I feel.

>>4579770
you're cute.

I'm a card-carrying type B fapper. B for bed.
No-hands dryhumping. If someone walks in, they think I'm napping. I never intentionally ejaculate.

I also generally don't look at a picture and fap at the same time. My face shows no emotion.

I masturbate with my pants and underwear on, and in silence, since I do not breathe heavily (or when need be, breathe at all) during masturbation. It allows you to answer parents even while fapping. The tissue is tightly held against dick to prevent cum spillage into pants. One hand does the deed while the other holds up enough space within pants.