/jp/ - Otaku Culture

sup pooshlmer fag

Way out east there was this lady I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Reimu Hakurei. At least that was the handle her loving parents gave her, but she never had much use for it herself. See, this Hakurei, she called herself "The Miko". Now, "Miko" - there's a name no woman would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about the Miko that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where she lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Gensokyo the "Land of Fantasy"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course I ain't never been to London, and I ain't never seen France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing Gensokyo, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd seen in any of them other places. And in Japanese, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place in the early '90s - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a woman... I won't say a heroine, 'cause, what's a heroine? Sometimes, there's a woman. And I'm talkin' about the Miko here - the Miko from Gensokyo. Sometimes, there's a woman, well, she's the woman for her time and place. She fits right in there. And that's the Miko. The Miko, from Gensokyo. And even if she's a lazy woman - and the Miko was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in all of Gensokyo County, which would place her high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide. Sometimes there's a woman, sometimes, there's a woman. Well, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced it enough.

>>4153814

>>4153814
wat

The Miko: Marisa, ya know, it's Letty, so her toe slipped over the line a little, big deal. It's just a game, man.
Marisa Kirisame: Miko, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Am I wrong, ze?
Letty: Yeah, but I wasn't over. Gimme the marker Miko, I'm marking it 8.
Marisa Kirisame: [pulls out mini-hakkero] Letty, my friend, you are entering a world of pain.
The Miko: Marisa...
Marisa Kirisame: You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain, ze.
Letty: I'm not...
Marisa Kirisame: A world of pain.
Letty: Miko, she's your partner...
Marisa Kirisame: [shouting] Has the whole of Gensokyo gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules, ze? Mark it zero!
The Miko: They're calling the cops, put the piece away.
Marisa Kirisame: Mark it zero!
[points mini-hakkero in Letty's face]
The Miko: Marisa...
Marisa Kirisame: [shouting] You think I'm fucking around here? Mark it zero, ze!
Letty: All right, it's fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
Marisa Kirisame: ...It's a league game, Letty.

>>4153857
the big lebowski, dude

go watch it

>>4153882
Ah. I know that movie, but I've never really seen it.

>>4153878
marisa you're such a bitch

WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY, HAKUREI?

WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY?

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS, TEWI! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, ZE!

the idea of marisa as a vietnam vet scares me.

would remilia, flandre and patchy be the nihilists?

>>4154095

I'm suddenly imagining Marisa in a helicopter going GET SOME! *ratatatatatat* GET SOME, YEAH YEAH GET SOME, GET SOME. *ratatatatatatatat* *ratatatatat*

Anyone who runs, is a youkai... Anyone who stands still, is a well disciplined youkai!

Is there a dinosaur Touhou?

>>4154167
Remilia, but I don't have any pictures, so have her pretending to be one instead.

The Miko: Fuckin' Hijiri... that creep can roll, man.
Marisa Kirisame: Yeah, but she's a pervert, Miko.
The Miko: Yeah.
Marisa Kirisame: No, she's a sex offender. With a record. She served 6 months in Makai for exposing herself to an eight year old.
The Miko: Oh!
Marisa Kirisame: When she moved to Gensokyo she had to go door to door to tell everyone she was a pederast.
Cirno: What's a... pederast, Marisa?
Marisa Kirisame: Shut the fuck up, Cirno.

>>4154189
Hahahahaha

Nobody fuck with the Jesus

>>4154189
>pederast Byakuren
dowantdowantdowantdowant

So who pees on the rug?

>>4154199
You want to be the little boy?

+1

>>4154222
the chinawoman

>>4154236
But that's against Knox's 5th!

>>4154236
Dude, chinawoman is not the preferred nomenclature

>>4154242
what the hell could marisa say for the rest of that line?

>>4154306
The Miko: Marisa, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
Marisa Kirisame: Huh? No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, Miko.
Cirno: What the fuck is she talking about?
The Miko: My rug.
Marisa Kirisame: Forget it, Cirno, you're out of your element, ze!
The Miko: Marisa, the chinawoman who peed on my rug, I can't go give her a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Marisa Kirisame: What the fuck are you talking about, ze? The chinawoman is not the issue here, Miko. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Miko. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Miko, chinawoman is not the preferred nomenclature. Chuugoku, please, ze.
The Miko: Marisa, this isn't a girl who built the railroads here. This is a girl...
Marisa Kirisame: What the fuck are you...?
The Miko: Marisa, she peed on my rug!
Cirno: She peed on the Miko's rug.
Marisa Kirisame: Cirno you're out of your element! Miko, the Chinaman is not the issue here, ze!

>>4154346
ffff, forgot to change the last instance of chinaman

I... I think I'm in love...

>This thread

>>4154981
just for you

Yukari Yakumo: I'll eat you out for a hundred thousand yen.
Ran: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Yukari Yakumo: Ran can't watch, though, or she has to pay ten thousand.
Ran: Ah haha. That's marvelous.
The Miko: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.

>>4155053

so who's The Big Hakurei?

Meimu?

>>4155170
would make sense

if the chinaman that pees on the dude's rug is meiling, would the other guy with him be sakuya?

and would that make remilia the pornographer?

sanae as maude lebowski

>>4155053
Yukari as a gold digging trophy wife seems surprisingly appropriate

motherfucking definitive marisa

Marisa Kirisame: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Miko. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Miko: Yeah, but Marisa...
Marisa Kirisame: Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These fucking amateurs...

Look, let me explain something to you. I'm not Miss. Hakurei. You're Miss. Hakurei. I'm the Miko. So that's what you call me. That or Her Mikoness... Mikoer... or El Mikorina, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing.

>>4154346
>>4155053
>>4156124

Urge to drawfag...RISING...

>>4156206
DO IT FAGGOT

[the Miko, Marisa, and Cirno walk out of the bowling alley, to find the three Prismrivers waiting in front of the Miko's car, which has been torched]
The Miko: Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.
Lunasa: Ve vant ze money, Hakurei.
Merlin: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.
Lyrica: Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Hakurei.
The Miko: You don't HAVE the fucking girl, dipshits! We know you never did!
[the Prismrivers, stunned, confer amongst themselves in German]
Cirno: Are these the Nazis, Marisa?
Marisa Kirisame: No, Cirno, these women are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Lunasa: Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Hakurei, or ve fuck you up.
Marisa Kirisame: Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
The Miko: Hey, cool it Marisa.
Marisa Kirisame: No, without a hostage, there is no ransom. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Merlin: Her girlfriend gave up her toe!
Lyrica: She though we'd be getting million dollars!
Merlin: Iss not fair!
Marisa Kirisame: Fair! WHO'S THE FUCKING NIHILIST HERE! WHAT ARE YOU, A BUNCH OF FUCKING CRYBABIES?
The Miko: Hey, cool it Marisa. Look, pal, there never was any money. The big hakurei gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with her, man.
Marisa Kirisame: And, I would like my undies back.
[Stunned, the Prismrivers confer amongst themselves again]
Cirno: Are they gonna hurt us, Marisa?
Marisa Kirisame: No, Cirno. These women are cowards.
Lunasa: Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen.
Marisa Kirisame: Fuck you.
The Miko: Hey, no, come on, Marisa. We're ending this thing cheap, man.
Marisa Kirisame: No, what’s mine is mine.
Lunasa: No funny shtuff.
The Miko: Alright, alright, I've got four hundred yen, almost five...
Cirno: Hey, I got eighteen hundred yen.
Marisa Kirisame: What's mine is mine.
Lunasa: We fuck you ups, man. We takes the money.
Marisa Kirisame: Come and get it.

the most important question is:

Is ZUN The Stranger?

>>4156124
El is a male article.
Either El Micorino or La Micorina
Preferably with "egne"

the idea of the prismrivers speaking in thick german accents is amusing

this needs archiving

>this thread