/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Only if I get to fuck you're Touhous

Don't care because I'm Maribel

>No internet
>Standard living probably not covered

No thanks, bra.

Escape from reality, for real? In a heartbeat. Fuck /jp/, fuck computers, fuck 2D.

fuck off nigga I bring all my shit with me and make an inter-border network

What are my living conditions over there? Or are there no guarantees?

>You get to live a carefree life in Gensokyo

So no getting killed by youkai?

I'll head to Gensokyo then.

gensokyo

fuck being a NEET

I hear there's a great library over there.

Do they have a good health care plan over there?

No internet? Fuck that, I'll take my internet over everything else.

>>3087743
Okay. How do I get the means to feed myself?

Oh right, I need to get a job, just like Aya SHAME imaru and Rinnosuke.

Gensokyo just as shitty as Earth.

>>3087809

HakureiCare™

>>3087821
Become a male prostitute. Big business over there, I tell you.

>>3087821
It is, but at least the women are pure virgin lolis in frilly dresses, so it makes up for it.

>>3087821

Most characters seem to feed themselves just fine (and canon says Youkai don't eat people anymore), so the situation couldn't be too difficult.

>>3087828
Rinnosuke would be the only client. If he didn't prefer masturbation, that is.

Depends.

Can I get myself a moe loli waifu or do I stay a virgin there too?

If the latter, I stay on Earth.

>>3087834
>canon says Youkai don't eat people anymore
No it doesn't.

Sure, why not? I got nothing to lose and I might even be able to use magic someday. And living in the human village pretty much guarantees your safety since Keine is there.

But if I go there only to be a nameless person, then it'll be no different than reality. ;_;

Let me make my backpack and pick a couple of guns. I know it won't be easy, but I'll manage.

I can bring my dog, right?

>>3087850

Oh yes it does.

http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Perfect_Memento:_Monologue

>carefree life
>not NEET

No thanks.

>>3087856
1.Learn time-manipulation
2.Stop time for yourself, allowing you to live forever, Sakuya Style

Mortgage your house.

Buy as much guns and ammos as you can

Emigrate to Gensokyo

Start a job as a youkai bounty hunter.

Replace Reimu's job.

???

PROFIT!!!

I'd rather become a magician and score a loli than waste my days as a NEET, so yes.

>>3087882
>Stop time for yourself, allowing you to live forever, Sakuya Style

No need, canon says you'll reincarnate on death anyways.

Good luck keeping your memories though.

Ahahahaha Oh wow.

There IS Touhou for absolutely everything.

>>3087890
How would you profit? It's not like Reimu is terribly rich or anything.

Jesus fuck, of course I cross over. I don't even have to think about it.

Do you think I'm living like this because I want to?

I mean, fuck.

>>3087931
She mugs youkai as she passes by and as some sort of bounty hunter, according to Perfect Memento, I believe.

>>3087931
is there even a proper economy over there?

>>3087931

All the people of Gensokyo ever buy is tea and sake, anyway.

>>3087897
that's exactly the reason why someone would want immortality/time stop for himself.

the idea of reincarnation is the worst fanfiction and troll that could even be invented, so if by any chance it's true, it has to be escaped from.

>>3087938

I've thought about that from time to time, there doesn't seem to be that much information in canon (and when there is it's not entirely consistent).

They talk about "yen" but one wonders who issues the money and so forth...

They probably work off of a local money supply (which doesn't change much due to lack of trade with the outside world). Yukari is the Fed, since she's the only one who can print^H^H^H^H^Hgap money.

>>3087834
Yes. I think that the characters get their food from hunting and foraging, which I think is plausible since Gensokyo is a sparsely populated and is surrounded by lush wildlife.

There's some trade involved but it wasn't that central to their living.

>>3087952

There's definitely significant farming/cultivation/gardens/etc, canon seems to imply it.

Which probably means that it's a mostly agricultural economy; everyone grows some sort of food and sells it for money in the village, then uses said money to buy other types of food.

Money is obselete in Gensokyo where people can create almost anything with magic.

Example: Marisa casting winter clothes for Reimu in SSiB.

>>3087897
How do you know you are a reincarnation, if you don't keep the memories of your past self? You'd basically be another person.

>>3087960

But remember, magic requires reagents, like Marisa's magic mushrooms, which are definitely not unlimited/free.

In Gensokyo, Outsiders are kinda sought after in the human village due to new technologies and knowledge they bring with themselves.

>>3087976
That's good to hear because I am especially knowledgeable in bed.

>>3087983
Oh you.

I'd become Yukari's apprentice so I could talk her into using borders to steal cable from the real world, have Nitori make television sets, and make easy millions by selling it all to the citizens of the Gensoukyou. Probably take in magic after that.

They probably all look down on heterosexuality.
That, and too much culture shock, i.e. Gensokyo seems rural. I lived in the country for a few months once. Never again.

I'd move to Gensokyo because I would be then be slim and beautiful just like them.

Think about. Their food is very basic, traditional Japanese style - guaranteed to make you lose fat. Plus the fact there's plenty of workouts involving danmaku battles, and no doubt plenty of magic for staying slim and young (example: Reimu's Yin Yang orbs).

>>3087992
Dude... there is no electricity in Genokyo.

Think feudal era level of technology.

maybe I can become a stage 1 midboss if I work hard enough

>>3087992
Yeah, I'm sure Yukari would be fine with you using her powers for your own profit.

Even if she was fine with it, with her ludicrous powerset you could easily come up with a better money scheme than TV.

>>3088008
we'll invent/introduce electricity, and hold a monopoly over it!

>>3088008

Depends on where you are. Apparently the Kappa are quite a bit more advanced, plus they were plotting to use *nuclear fusion* as an energy source, which clearly means they must have had some idea of what to do with the energy.

I'd laugh at a fusion-powered steampunk society.

>>3088010

>>3087922
>>3087976
How popular is Fallout in Japan, anyways?

>>3088008
Nuclear fusion.

>>3088019
I saw about 15 or so pages of Fallout on Pixiv. Seems to be reasonably popular.

What are the background radiation levels in Gensokyo? Will I be required to hunt my own food and or kill hoards of zombies/demons/vampires/lolis? Oh and what is the system of government set in place in Gensokyo? Total anarchy or what?... How about property taxes and other basic living expenses?

>>3088019
Not very popular but theres still a decent following.

<-- That is supposed to be Fawkes. Just one of the quotes he says about how people trust the lone wanderer enough to not attack him.

carefree life?

fuck yeah easy modo.

Is this how I will be greeted? If so I shall pak my bags immediately.

If not I'll do it in 5 minutes.

Do I get to have a waifu or not?

>>3088056
Yes, if you don't have a penis.

>>3088063
What if I cut my penis off or become a trap?

I'd rather go to Balamb Garden.

>>3088071

Fuck, me too.

>>3088063
But all touhous already have penises.

Surely I can run a cable through the border.

>>3088071
Balamb Garden is fucking amazing, and everyone there will play cards with you!

>>3088080
i lol'd

>>3088071
>>3088074
>>3088080

whatever.

>>3088056
>>3088063
>>3088064
>>3088077
In Futasokyo it doesn't matter if you have a penis or not, but you'll never get to fuck Touhous, they will fuck you instead. Several times a day. I would love it.

I bring my PDA full of schematics and solar recharger.

Fuck yeah Kappa, now all we need to do is find some decent metal deposits and potential mining sites.

..There ARE potentially rich mineral deposits in Gensokyo, right? Right?

When I'm in Gensokyo will the Touhous look like Zun's art or like the fanart? If it's the former no thanks, if its the latter hell yes.

>>3088123
Gensokyo is not very large, the few mountains around are infested with youkai, or belong to the dead.

>>3088140
What are you, a fag?

>>3088165

>>3088163
Alright, that means no-ones claimed mining rights!

FUCK YEAH CAPITALISM/CRUDE TECHNOLOGY ADVANCES VS WEAK YOUKAI

>>3088257
Anon, the Moriya Shrine is in the Youkai Mountain. That means at least 2 deities would not agree with ti.

YOU WAKE UP IN GENSOKYO: REDUX

Yes, go to Moriya Shrine, be nice to the ones living there.
Good End!

I'll do it and eventually turn youkai myself (NEET lifestyle by itself would make you youkai in ancient Japan anyway, even having blonde hair made you a magical alien) then live happily ever after.

>>3088123 ..There ARE potentially rich mineral deposits in Gensokyo, right? Right?
Japan as a whole actually doesn't have very high quality iron deposits; part of the reason they were so keen on subjugating continental Asia. Similarly, they don't really have much coal at all; before globalization they mostly fueled things with burning wood, which isn't nearly as efficient.

Also, Wikipedia tells me that Japan has no bauxite; go ask /tg/ if you think that bauxite isn't ABSOLUTELY VITAL.

Yes, if I get to stay in the library with patchy to read books and drink tea with her.

Rape the Maid(s)

>>3090315
Sakuradite, Gundanium and Hihirokane don't exist on Earth.

Therefore they exist in Gensokyo.

>>3090315
I do seem to recall that Japan has a moderate amount of copper mines, though. (Which makes sense given the geologic setting.) So if you do manage to generate electricity you should be able to transmit it with wires.

Making modern electronics takes a wide variety of rather rare minerals (like Indium, good fucking luck finding THAT in Japan), though, so I'm not sure what you could actually do with the electricity, assuming Gensokyo's mineral resources are usual for Japan.

>>3090315
Maybe they wont have real metals and ores but in a land filled with Gods, Ghosts, Mikos and Magicians, they must have tons of the fancy fantacy ore like Mythril, Adaman, oricalcum and alike.

>>3090340
Well, Indium is mostly used for LCD displays; Gensokyo might be able to manufacture CRT monitors, I'm not really sure what you need to build one of those...

Who cares about the internet when you're going off to someplace better than you'll ever be?

>>3090344
How many of those are useful for electronics, though? I mostly see those used for weapons and armors.

>>3090373
Low-level youkai like Cirno and Rumia are less likely to eat you if you can occupy them with trolling /jp/.

It would totally be worth it if I end up getting my cock frozen off.

>>3090403

cirno isn't a youkai, godfuckingdamn

she's a fairy, and you can kill her very easily as a human

in fact, you could amuse yourself on slow days by ripping her wings out and waiting for them to regenerate

>>3090391
According to Indiana Jones, Oricalcum was used to power everything in atlantis

>>3090419
Fairies are youkai.

>>3090391
If they can conduct magic they should be able to carry a charge.

>>3087743
Hell no. I'd probably have to toil on a field for the rest of my life; assuming I wouldn't get eaten first.

If you ended up in Gensokyo, you'd be stuck farming in the Human Village. That's it.

Enjoy being eaten when you try to visit the Youkai.

>>3090423
also talking about youkais

how big is the chance for other mythological creatures from all around the world living in Gensokyo?

i'm not a NEET, it would be the best thing in my life but it will never happen
NEVER

Take it easy guys.

>>3090442
Remilia and Flandre.

>>3090423

cirno is also absolutely no threat to an ordinary, healthy human.

Rumia is dangerous because of the darkness around her. With Cirno, you could easily grab her and strangle her before she could do anything about it.

>>3090455
Most youkai are absolutely no threat to an ordinary, healthy human.

>>3090464

>Most youkai

Now, now, let's not get TOO hasty.

>>3090452
well fuck, so the chances of a Cuelebre are high

>>3090455

Cirno is completely safe!

I rush forward like a Viking towards the battlefield

One thing you could do in the absence of the internet is kidnap fairies and kill them as often as they regenerate.

Fairies can't die, so you can torture them to death repeatedly. And when they are reduced to gibbering, mindless wrecks, go find some more...

>>3090487
wont be more easy with yukkuris?

>>3090487
Replace Fairies with Yukkuris and I'm in

>>3090498
>>3090489

Why bother with Yukkuris? Fairies are in much bigger supply, they're literally everywhere, and you can get as many as you like. And unlike Yukkuris, they don't STAY dead. They are also considerably more sapient.

So you can build up complex and intrinsic relationships with them. You can find out what really hurts them - psychologically as well as physically - and act on it.

>>3090472
Most youkai are absolutely no threat. Yuka is not most youkai. None of the named youkai are part of most youkai. Cirno is strong, for a fairy.

>>3090508

And before anyone asks, Armpits isn't going to get angry at you for killing fairies. She does it regularly on her fantastic adventures.

Sorry but I prefer Balamb Garden

>>3090498

>>3090451
That is what I would do. I become the greatest Yukkuri farmer in all of Gensokyo. But I would only raise the rarer types.

Jaons, Mukyus, Chens and Cirnoffs would be key stock as they are most popular among other humans. Reimu an Marisa types would be kept as fodder as they are the least liked among most Yukkuri activists.

As soon as I sold enough I would have to acquire some Yuka types for farming crops and Kimeemarus to watch for wild Alices. I'm sure with a healthy batch of Chens I could catch some Ran types as well.

>>3087743
Only if I can be the little girl.

>>3088019
Popular enough that there are a couple of trap and loli mods floating around.

of course i would

>>3090527

If you go to Eirin's or Yukari's you will become the little Dickgirl.

C- Can I bring someone with me...? There's someone who I only talk to on the internet and I wouldn't be able to enjoy life without them, can I take them too? ;_;

>>3090538
That is so adorable in a pathetic way.

>>3090537
Fair enough.

>>3090508
>Why bother with Yukkuris? Fairies are in much bigger supply

you cant kill fairie children in front of they parents

we dont know how exactly powerfull we will be in damaku battles, hell, even our "magic levels", yukkuris can be abused by a normal human, fairies cant

>>3090544

>yukkuris can be abused by a normal human, fairies cant

Actually, they can. And fairies are easy to kill, even for a human with zero magic ability. They can hurt you, yes - but so can a bee or a spider, and you can kill them easily without harm.

>>3090519
Hahaha they exist, how cute.

And, yes, definitely, but you know, let's not get too excited. This is the frustrating game called real life and nothing like that ever happens.

>>3090560
better bet in something safe

>>3090519
The only major problem I can see is the rare to dangerous types like Mokous, Ikus, Reisens and alike. They aren't very in control of their powers.

Also wild flocks of Remilias and Flandres could wipe out my farm in one night.

YOU'RE ALL FORGETTING THEY SPEAK JAPANESE.


YOU WILL LIVE THE SAME LIFESTYLE AS YOU ARE NOW. WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SWITCHING TO A DIFFERENT LOCATION WILL CHANGE YOUR INTROVERTED PERSONALITY?

>>3090584

>>3090595
technical, isnt gensokyo build around the idea about something people in the real word think it doesnt exist, then it exist in gensokyo? by that logic things like translator microbes from sci fic or the simple fact people think i am unable to speak japanese will make me able to speak japanese?

>>3090567
Just keep crushing my dreams Anonymous. Just crushing them.

But maybe some day, some how I will become a World Class Yukkuri Farmer. And on that day I will laugh at you as I Take It Easy.

>>3090607

There's a difference between believing something doesn't exist, and believing in it's nonexistance.

Of course I would.

>>3090595
If you're introverted, won't you end up like Patchy?
Sounds okay.

These ones seem amusing.

do I get to be a magical little Touhou girl? Or I am one of the faceless commoners? because if I get to be the little girl, then of course.

>>3090633

see >>3090537

>>3090633
You get to be a faceless little girl.
You still get your frilly dress though.
So, deal or no deal?

>>3090638
oh, well I'm okay with that too

Yeah, I might live a worthwhile life if I go.

Maybe.

yes.

its not like anyone would miss me ;_;

>>3090644
I'd miss you Boofy-kun ;_;

>>3090640
>faceless little girl in a frilly dress
Awesome, I can go for a horror angle.

>>3090640
Isn't "faceless person" a fairly common Japanese youkai? Fuck yeah I'd be the faceless little girl youkai!

I know Hokuto Shinken, will I find worthy opponents in Gensokyo?

>>3090701
Do your techniques work if your opponent actually IS already dead?

>>3090678
sorry /jp/, but given the choice between a online community Ive devoted my life to a land of magic and drunk, easy 9 year olds...

;__; oh god what am i thinking.

>>3090708
Only ones that use aura as the primary source of damage.

Otherwise, most of them would likely not work.

No blood circulation, no pressure points. Just look at what having your heart on the other side of your body does, having a heart that is essentially GONE? Pressure point attacks become completely useless in such a situation.

>>3090712
its ok boof, its ok, everybody undestands

>>3090712
Don't worry, you're going to be in a better place.

Take it easy.

>>3090708
Well there is the Life Snatching Decaying Fist, which is rather effective against zombies I suppose.

As long as I can say goodbye to the people that matter to me, I'd give it a shot.

Oh? No, I know nothing about Touhou, I just want to be somewhere else.

>>3090760
What if we turn them into little fairy girls and send them with you?

>>3090773

Then a new Touhou SHMUP gets written about this invasion of outsider little girls, and Reimu kicks everyone's ass.

Including yours.

You will be sitting before your computer, your fat sausage-like fingers squeezing your micro-dick while you masturbate to your favorite loli doujinshi, and then all of a sudden Reimu will come flying out of your computer, kicking you in the face with enough force to break your nose and stove in your teeth.

>>3090773

I don't think they would appreciate it much.

What would happen if a magic-user from Gensokyo came to Earth? Would they be still able to use their magic?

>>3090818

Harry Potter Goes To Gensokyo: The Movie: The Game

Depends.
Will I have cool magical powers? Will I be popular with the girls?
If not I don't see the point.

>>3091044

You'll get to be someone with really silly powers, like the Aki Sisters or Lily White.

Yes, Anonymous, your power can be controlling the growth of mushrooms.

I have vast amounts of info on Gensokyo. I will worm my way in by "praying" at Reimu's shrine, eventually befriending her. Being friends with Reimu hooks you up with the rest of the important people. From there, I learn what kind of danmaku I want to use. After training for a year or more, I step into the real world of Gensokyo, and try to leave and conquer all other nations. Those that do not submit will die. You are all invited.

>>3091171
Even the people with silly powers can still do danmaku. "Fungal Sign - Eternal Spreading Dankness"

>>3091600
I accept the invitation.
To join, not to die.

>>3091171
1. Bring samples of Cordyceps fungus
2. Mind-control everything

>>3091600
>I will worm my way in by "praying" at Reimu's shrine, eventually befriending her.
Won't work, you need money. Reimu only cares for donations.
Unless you work for a month or more in the human village and then blow all your earnings on donations, I don't see Reimu being very impressed.

>>3091633

>Dankness

The power of spreading really great weed everywhere and making everyone super fucking baked.

Your ability is the best ability.

I bet Yukari has crazy awesome dro. It makes you float between the borders of existence itself.

>>3092004

New anti-magical interpretation of Gensokyo: it's just a bunch of people who are really fucking high.

>>3092656
I thought this was common knowledge?

>>3087743
yes.