/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Suika would drink apple juice.

Danmaku is replaced with CANDY!!!!!

Also since it is a cause of obestity, candy is replaced with christian values, and Reimu is no longer a shrine maiden and is now a man, and a priest at the church in New York.

That's right, Gensokyo is now New York.

Nobody dies in Gensokyo, so that wouldn't change.

Alice and Marisa's lesbian relationship is further expanded upon, to the surprise of everyone.

Sakuya would throw lollipops and Remilia would drink grape juice.

Yuugi - the extremely cheerful dumb blonde.
Likes soda.

"Do you guys, like, wanna party?!"

"AWESOME!"

>>2585987
>Danmaku is replaced with CANDY!!!!!

But danmaku is already candy.

Keine will act as teacher and her breast size will be reduced.
Sakuya will wear a long skirt and her knives will be replaced with magical aphabet
Eirin will no longer selling crack or drugs.

Reisen wouldn't be useless.

Yukari and Ran are now sisters because there would be too many lesbian overtones otherwise. Ran is Chen's biological mother but Ran's husband is nowhere to be seen since he is off fighting for freedom in Iraq. Yukari just lives with her sister because her sister needed help taking care of Chen.

Also, every episode starts with the Pledge of Alligence and ends with the Lord's Prayer.

They're going to randomly color one of the characters black to diversify.

Raymond and Melissa

"Get OUT MY WAY!
I'm GOING to the Fiesta!"

It'd be like Walfas daily flashes.

>>2586012
>Also, every episode starts with the Pledge of Alligence and ends with the Lord's Prayer.

It's funny because if someone actually did this in the US it would cause a scandal.

>>2586014
Suika. She'd be eating watermelons all the time

No one can fly, because impressionable kids will mimic them.

Instead the maidens wink in and out in magical poofs of smoke.

Also, I think that HelenXonpool would have a heart attack upon seeing Yuugi tell another character to "not, like, have a cow, man!" or air-guitaring.

Kanako and Suwako won't be on this show.

>>2586014

But 4kids colours OUT black people from anime (ie. One Piece)

Horns will be replaced with party hats.

The Yakumos are now named Ashley, Randy, and Caitlin.

Ashley sleeps all the time because she works the graveyards shift to try to make ends meet.

Oh god pina coladas taste so good

Everybody finnally settles their debt at Kourindou.
Rumia diet will be KFC chicken
Wriggle finally become a 'beautiful' boy
Tenshi will be become a tough sportwoman
Orin will work at construction site like Bob the Builder

>>2586012

>Also, every episode starts with the Pledge of Alligence and ends with the Lord's Prayer.

Wat

>>2586002
>>2586040

Regardless of personality, Yuugi would look very odd since she'd have a poorly edited on SWIMSUIT OVER HER CLOTHES to compensate for the transparent skirt.

>>2586067


>Rumia diet will be KFC chicken

Mmm, fried chickens.

Her name would probably be Rebecca and her catchphrase would be "Oh, REALLY?" Bricks are shat.

It's more likely than you think

>>2586075
Or they'd just make it not transparent.

>>2586075
>>2586075

They'd probably also edit out every instance where Yuugi parks her melons atop somebody's head.

>>2586100

Resulting in continuity gaps and at least one episode being edited down to under a minute.

Also, about danmaku. We all know violence is okay if it's state sponsored: If it's Reimu against Youkai - the enemy - fighting to save the day.

Well the name would all be changed. Even ones like Marisa and Alice.

The Japanese OP and EDs will be ripped out and replaced by songs specially written for the series about staying and school and studying hard and they will be sung by Hannah Montana.

Summer sure came early this year.

The anime is actually called The Quiet Life and it features a lone explorer roaming a quiet and peaceful Gensokyo, Kino no Tabi style.

-Rumia dresses in white since Rev Al Sharpton will denounced her dark clothes and ability.
-Ichirin will be a Muslim for cultural diversify.
-Koakuma is an angel
-Aya are not slutty anymore
-Sanae will become a good girl
-You can trust any word from Tewi
-Kaguya is hardworking princess.
-Nazrin rod will be changed completedly by Jewish community threat because it resemble swastika.
-Marisa will stopped riding her brooms.

>>2586119
Blame climate change.

>>2586125
With that level of English, maybe it'd be a good idea for you to watch "educational" tv shows, bro.

>>2586124

>features a lone explorer roaming a quiet and peaceful Gensokyo, Kino no Tabi style.

Nah, I guest it will styled like that Mexican illegal immigrant Dora the Explorer.

>>2586125

>-Ichirin will be a Muslim for cultural diversify.

Don't you mean Parsee?

>>2586131

Sorry, for the bad grammar. I've really a bad headache right now.

Yuka is an eco-terrorist. She works with an Iranian Utsuho.

Aya works for MSNBC and fills in for Rachel Maddow on her days off. Has a secret crush on Keith Olbermann.

Meiling loans money to other Touhous. Also, she and Medicine sell poisonous goods.

Shikieiki is an activist judge

>>2586136

>Touhou
>Dora the Explorer

"Will you help me unleash nuclear apocalypse?"

Everyone's 15-17 years old...

Even Yukari

>>2586125
> -Sanae will become a good girl
Now you've done it.

my life would crumble into a pile of lies and hate.

ALSO SEX APPEAL IS NOW A RELIGIOUS MESSAGE

main bad dude, wants to plant flowers that stop kids from doing homework

>>2586160
Okay okay, I'll let you off the hook this time. （　´ー｀）

>>2586114
Never before has a line of text been physically painful to read. Dear fucking Christ.

Dr. oak

or the fag who tells everyone how to do shit

bad guys daughter, total bitch who has to have it her way and her dad gives it to her.

enemy's with heroes kids

Komachi would be a Leo Buscaglia-esque ditz who teaches kids that if you've been a good little boy or girl you go to a good place after you die.

Seriously, look up Leo Buscaglia. He wrote hella books about huuuuuuuuuugs! Such as "The Fall of Freddie The Leaf", which presents death in an easy to understand way for kids.

>>2586200
>>mokoucosplayingaspatchoulli.png

scientist that makes awesome gadgets for the hero, sterile due to horrible accident.

violent war relapses makes people question her character

Tittymonster Yukari would never appear, due to her cougar-ish antics. Edited out in every season.

Instead we would only see Loli Yukari.

abstinence speaker who volunteers time at local schools

secretly a robot

... lemonade sisters.
Sisters. Because 'deva' was a long and complicated word.

comic relief, later killed off in forest fire caused by pollution and immigrants

>>2586232

"I've seen things. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Hakugyokurou. I watched Master Sparks glitter in the darkness at Eientei."

Tea will be replaced with chocolate milk.

The elder lemonade sister teaches kids about the importance of eating up your greens.

homeless beggar, on dyalisis due to loss of kidneys

car salesmen by night

Reisen's extremely high libido is turned down to one for the show.

She gives people huuuuuuuuuugs! instead.

Mokou and Kaguya are friendly rivals constantly competing against each other.

They have the magical power of never needing rest instead of immortality.

trucker, family abandoned her because she blew all the cash on lottery tickets and hookers

suicidal

RACHEL the mischievous bunny is always getting into trouble, and her friends from the Bamboo Forest have to get her out of it. Afterwards everyone learns an important life lesson, such as not smoking or not talking to strangers.

>>2586100
It feels as if I'm about to die from having a button shot straight through my head.

serial killer, running from law and psychotic

molested as child

katanas are replaced with gardening tools, myon is edited into a cloud

tree

cruse missile

>>2586271

Oh boy, I can see where this is going.
Before accomplishing some incredible feat of strength, she eats SPINACH! Because spinach is good for you and makes you strong!

Also, pic is something we will never see. Ever.

also tree

The lemonade sisters doing a public awareness spot about the dangers of excessive dri... oh hell no.

>>2586324

Another thing they'll edit out is every instance of Yuugi groping someone else.

Drug dealer and Pimp

...and then all that's left is to infiltrate 4Kids and make sure that all of sudden there's one ep which is basically a mix between Mononoke and the ending of Texhnolyze (as directed by Staffan Westerberg).

Gee, it sure is samefag dumping his Touhou folder in here

Utsuho will be dropped for sure

i miss american shows about kicking ass and over patriotism, now even that is bad

>>2586215
>and her dad gives it to her.

That's pretty fucking heavy for 4Kids.

Bump

>>2585975
Do we get touhou merchandise?
you know like plushies, bedsheets and stuff?
that would be cash, literally.

>>2586334
>>2586324
>>2586316
>>2586271
>>2586256
>>2586100
>>2586075
>>2586040
>>2586002
W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY ONI!!!!!