/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Do I get to be a cute girl with a massive rack? I just want to give the males of the village paizuri all day.

>>16286494
Disgusting. This is a blue board.

Find a nice clearing and sit down.
Nice scenery.
Acceptance.
Changing my vibration.

>>16286467
>You've ended up in Gensokyo.
Well Shit. I'm downright fuck
>What do you do now?
Accept my inevitable death from one of the Youkai or Cannibals, Or Youkai Cannibals
>What do you expect?
Death. Mostly getting eating
>What don't you expect?
TO Live or Survive for more than a night

>How did you get to Gensokyo in the first place?
Most likely Yukari to feed the hungry Youkai and or Cannibals

>Pic Related is the inevitable outcome for those who enter Gensokyo

>>16286467
So if I'm starting off at Muenzuka, I would follow the road and the first thing i'm going to try not to do is die.
Given I have no idea where I am, if I start to hear shit, I would brace myself and break a branch off for protection so I don't die.
If I make it to the Forest of Magic and didn't become youkai food, I would probably come across a fork (or few forks) in the road, larger road would be the main path while the smaller road leading to Maris's and Alice's place. Know me I would continue following the main road and find a better stick to increase my chances on not dying.
Making to two equally large roads, one towards the huge fucking mountain, the other towards more fucking trees. Given I lived in the country, I'm going to stay away from the mountain because nothing good can happen and probably die climbing the big fucker.

I make it to some house with a Colonel Sanders statue leaning on the house with some various junk in front. I knock on the door and I can hear someone move inside and wait to be greeted. I throw away my 2nd stick. Some white haired tall guy with glasses wearing some weird clothes opens the door and says, "こんにちはどうされましたか?"
Oh fuck me he can't speak English but I know hes speaking Japanese. So I respond with, "Hi, do you speak English?". Then I get some more Japanese so that confirms I'm really fucked.
I do my best to do some hand signs to show that i'm lost, confused, and where to go, so he points me more down the road and nods his head. Before i'm about to go, he gestures to invite me in but I raise my hand as a 'no thank you' because i'm not sure if this guy is going to axe murder me so then I continue on my way down the road.
Sun is starting to set and feels like hours since I started walking and found my 3rd stick. Good grip stick with a large burl on the end so whatever comes at me will get clubbed but now i'm getting sketched by the sound of 'coyotes?' snarling ones? Hopefully they're not wolves and I have the feeling i'm being watched.

I come into a clearing and see large fields of wheat on small hills of flowing water and a very large town with some huge building around the back in the distance. The scenery looks familiar from what old Japanese pictures showed me and now i'm starting to think i'm in fucking Japan.....Nah. I walk towards the village and I notice some farmers wearing weird clothes and they stare back so I wave and keep walking. When I looked back at the farmers, they're still looking at me. Okay...They're probably staring at my stick. I get to the opening of the town or village, I hide my stick in the ditch and enter the town or village and I notice the houses looking old - but not old as in worn down but old as in I seen houses like these in old books and these houses are well kept.
As I walk through the village or town, its really lively with stalls, social conversations, the people are all wearing clothes from old Japan and it just feels generally peaceful till they start to look at me.
Now I know why those farmers were staring at me, its because here I am walking around in jeans, grey sweater, and brown running shoes.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't need this attention what the fuck is going on and why does it look like i'm in old Japan?

Food from the stalls are staring to make me hungry so I get to a bit of a clearing within the village or town fuck, and on the corner of my eye I see this little girl with a blue dress shift to this house. As I turn to see if actually saw what I saw she enters the house but not before I notice transparent-ish shards sticking out her back. Okay.
Near the door is this huge, tall, fit, beast of a woman in a dress with a stupid looking hat immediately makes eye contact with me and starts yelling some shit and quickly walks towards me.
I don't need this fucking attention. Where's the cops? I start walking in the direction I started and I looked back and there she is, real fucking close and in mid jog towards me still yelling shit I can't understand so I start running.
Damn she caught up quick and I know i'm a fast runner. She grabs me by the shoulder and spins me around and starts yelling at me in Japanese. Are you fucking kidding me? I really want to go home at this point i'm done with this bullshit but right now i'm being yelled at and I probably looked like a scared orphan.

When she hit a pause I mumbled as small "What?" and her facial expression changed to what a cop would give you after getting caught drinking in public to a shocked looked where if her eyebrows went any higher they would hit orbit.
She lets out a sigh and starts looking at me like shes thinking what to do and then she gestures to follow her. I'm really not in the mood anymore so I follow her to this huge house with a wall surrounding it and even has body guards. Now I'm generally worried and now regretting following this person.

>Still more to come. I'm smashed so nothing to do but shitpost a story

>>16286761
Continue.

>>16286761
The lady starts talking to the guard with a spear and he starts looking at me, then looks back at the lady and nods his head. She gives me the same signal to follow her and she walks past the two guards towards this big building. As I walk past these guards, they give me the biggest stink eye something like what my girlfriend did when I said a raw christian joke to her christian parents at a family dinner.
This place is fucking huge. It has a porch that surrounds the sides of the building and stones to near gravel spread in patches and some real sophisticated people that wont stop fucking staring at me.

I'm gestured to take off my shoes and we enter this building and when we get to this paper wall the lady points at me, then points at my feet. I guess she wants me to wait. She slides the paper wall and enters and closes it behind her. I'm fucking stunned from the paper wall-door.
Not long the lady comes back but a little girl is with her with fancy flower patterned clothes and 'dark purple hair'. I couldn't stop staring at her fucking hair.
They chat for a bit and the little girl starts trying to talk to me in Japanese. I'm being a ass because i'm annoyed at this point from not knowing what going on and everyone doesn't speak English. I let out a smug "What?" and her eyes just light up and says, "Oh English.".

I'm fucking ecstatic now and start bombarding her with questions, "Holy fuck you can speak English? I can't understand anyone around here. Where am I?". She smiles and tells me to follow her into where there were before and she says something to the lady that brought me here then she bows her head in our direction and starts to leave not before I tell her, "Kon'nichiwa" as appreciation. She gives a smirk and then she says, "どういたしまして". I have no idea what she said.

I enter this big room and the girl sits on this pillow and asks me to sit down. I sit down and ask her if this is Japan.
She tells me her name is Hieda no Akyu (the 'no' got me confused'. this is going to suck) and tells me that i've entered a realm that is separated fantasy reality called 'Gensokyo'. A place where what ever is forgotten winds up here. It is also a place where the dead goes and home of the Youkai.
I heard this name, 'Youkai' before so I ask her what it is. Se tells me they are monsters that live outside the village that eat humans and possess incredible strength and tells me i'm lucky I didn't come across any aggressive ones.
Fuck me, I was going to fight one off with a stick that had a wooded turd at the tip. I get pale and tell her the noises and she didn't look surprised and told me it could have been anything. I wanted to go home after she said that so I ask her how to get home. She tells me its impossible unless I talk to this 'Gap Youkai'. I'm fucking scared at this point and I tell her, "You tell me there's monsters out there and you want me to talk to one? Are you serious? Is there any other way?" She shakes her head and tells me its the only way.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... Then tells me I could find her easier by searching for her Shikigami, a Kitsune name Ran. I flat out tell her, "What the fuck is that?!" She gets annoyed and tells me Ran is her apprentice sort to speak and the 'Gap Youkai''s name is Yukari Yakumo. I don't care about the name, I'm going to fucking die and the only thing I can think about is my stick.

Hieda no Akyu tells me I can stay the night here and I can leave in the morning to this "Yukari". The little girl shows me around and when we get outside, its night time at this point. She shows me a bed-futon on the floor and tells me this is where I will be sleeping tonight and first thought I had was 'floor?'. Before she left I asked her why shes the only one that can speak English and tells me shes some record keeper and read mostly everything that could have been read including old English encyclopedias and shes the ninth in her generation - whatever that means.
After she leaves, I blow out the candles, take off my socks, get into this uncomfortable bed but that didn't stop me from instantly passing out.

>I'm getting way into depth at this point and i'm losing momentum from the beer runs

>>16286910
Hieda no Akyu wakes up and gets me in shit for sleeping too long so I ask what time it is and she responds by saying its 6 in the morning by the sundial. Fuck i usually get up around 8 but fuck it. She feeds me food which is just a bowl plain rice and I ask for some soy sauce and she responds by asking what that is. Now I feel like a retard.
I eat my rice and she gives me a map where this Yukari lives, a few balls of rice wrapped in bamboo, a bamboo stalk that has water in it, and a sword. A sword. A fucking katana sword. I unsheathe the bitch and start swing it around like in a Japanese anime but I look like a tourettes kid in a candy store.
I get in shit again and Hieda no Akyu tells me not all Youkai are dangerous and can be really friendly if you get to know them. I tell her straight up that its going to be hard making friends with man eaters if they cant speak English.
She walks out and comes back with a blank book and a 'marker'. Weird that they have markers in a forgotten Japan.

I leave the mansion house place after giving my thanks. She sees me out and I start walking and waving and next thing I do is ram right into this person with bags off food. Food fucking flies everywhere, everything is going wrong already then next thing I know this white-ish haired girl in a maid outfit is standing infront of me holding her bags of food. I don't know why i'm still surprised at this point.
Did I stroke out? She looks at me with a straight face like nothing happened and of course she said someting I couldn't understand but she had this almost british ascent. I just tell her, "Arigato" and start heading towards the village entrance. I'm not dealing with anyone because they can't speak English - fuck em'.

I get to the front of the village after getting stared at by everyone because how I dress, I bust out the map. I'm immediately pissed off to find out I have to go to the place where I started. Are you fucking serious? I have a map with numbered locations like what the fuck is a 'Muenzuka'? sounds like a disease. Number 16 river sounds like a pure death zone, Fuck this lost bamboo forest across the river - I'm already lost as it is, Misty Lake sounds nice till I read the caption underneath of it saying a mansion that belongs to the fucking devil - no thanks, Good thing I didn't go towards the mountain because it belongs to a giant frog or some shit. I want to go home. I look in the ditch and I see my old stick with the burl on it. I take it and now have it now sticking out of this sack im carrying with the rest of the stuff I have and start heading down the trail.

I'm a good hours walk in and I stop and think... I forgot to ask what these man eaters look like. Fuck me. Then I remember about that one guy that I ran into before getting into town.
I wind up at that dump place and knock on the door. I bust out my little book and I draw outline of a person with a question mark in it. I get greeted by the same guy, thankfully, and I show him my drawing. I say, "Yukari? Ran?"
The guy gives me a stern look and starts going on in Japanese. I point at my mouth and ears and shrug and tell I can't understand you. Finally this guy gets the hint. He nods and and he tries to invite me inside again. Even if this guy is an axe murder, I have a fuckin' sword.
His place if full of old stuff I recognize like and old '95 computer, propane heater, a old grey gameboy but no batteries, ect. He must be a collector since this place is where forgotten stuff go.

I whip out my map and ask again, "Yukari? Ran?" and he points at the place that sounded like a disease. I then point at my drawing and he walks over to this broom stick and puts the brush up to his head and points at it. Okay, I caught that shes blonde. He then grabbed my book and drew a ying yang symbol and tried to describe a dress with that symbol on it. Nice we're getting somewhere. Then he draws this thing with a shit load of eyeballs. Okay...I'm confused again, what am I looking at and I look at him like a 4th grader learning calculus. He closes his eyes, shakes his head, and waves his hand which I caught as in 'never mind'. Never mind some eyeballs? What the fuck?

I grab my stuff and tell him, "Kon'nichiwa" then he fucking squints at me so I shake his hand and leave. I start walking in this Forest of Magic and I hear some wind blowing but none of the trees are blowing. Then I he some faint talking so I look up to see two people flying, one in black clothes and one in blue clothes. Great... That feeling that i'm going to get murdered in the woods is back so a man handle my stick and i'm ready for anything.

I lost track of time at this point so I checked the map to see that i ended up on the 'road of reconsideration'. Fucking what? Everything starts going dark. Darker and darker way too fast. I'm getting scared and my legs start to shake. Next thing I can see is only half a meter infront of me. I grip my stick like Negan and prepare for the worst.

>>16287106
Jesus its dark and I can't move and now I hear a girl's laugh behind me so I turn to see more darkenss. Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want to die. Then more laughing to my right and I pre-swing my stick to my right and I swung at nothing.
Silence for a good minute but felt like an hour then the darkness slowly clears.
I try to squint through the darkness and then this fucking umbrella comes out of nowhere with a fucking eyeball and a huge tongue sticking out and some girl fucking yelling at the top her lungs at me. I think I invented my own language and used it to scream right back in horror. I tried take a step back but I tripped on something big.
When I hit the dirt, I rolled back wards and recovered quick to see another girl with a bob cut, a cape and shorts on her hands and knees where I tripped. I still fucking scared. This fuckers are going to eat me but not i'm not going with out a fight.
I stand up and I huck my burl stick like a scottish axe thrower and I chuck my stick over their heads, over the trees, gone.

The two girls look up then looked back at me and started to laugh. I'm fucked now without a weapon but as soon as it was looking bad the darkness was getting brighter like a bad fog and next thing I see is this girl with pale purple clothes and wings just fucking laughing her ass off. Oh im royally fucking dead now, then I had an idea, they won't eat me if if they have something to eat. I go through my bag and take out the rice balls. I dual fist the rice balls and I knew I couldn't fuck up this time.
I whip the rice at the man eaters and speared the one holding the umbrella square in the face and she reels back like I got her in the eye or something. The other two laugh and i dump what i had in the sack and I run as fast as I could towards Muenzuka.

I looked back back after a while to see that I wasn't being followed and i'm pretty sure I got away. I'm started to get a bit thirsty but I left it in the sack with the man eaters but whats this this around my hip? Oh its just the sword... Ah fuck. I had a fucking sword. Well too late now plus it was 3 against 1 so I think I made a good call for running than fighting.
I walk a good 30 more minutes give or take and I found this small house in the middle of knowhere. In front is this small white haired bob cut girl in green clothes with a...cloud?
I really hope this is Ran and we're a good 6 meters from eachother so before I say anything, she busts out these two swords, one of them almost as big as her. I'm about to cry at this point - I just want to go home.

I yell out "RAN?!" and this bob cut girl sorta chills now then this tall woman with what looks like a white clown hat and a giant blonde fluff ball behind her. She looks and me and looks instantly pissed and starts walking towards me, pasted the bob cut girl who just put away her swords. I'm 6 foot tall and what looks like 6 foot 7 inches of a woman towering over me pissed off and starts yelling at me in Japanese. Oh fuck not this again.
I mumble, "I-I just want to go home Yukari.". This doesn't help and she still looks pissed. She grabs my hand and escorts me inside the house. I walk past the bob cut girl and she starts looking at me like shes going to kill me in my sleep.
I enter the house and I see two people sitting on the floor across from eachother between this table with a blanket around it. One of the two was wearing this blue clothes and this really stupid hat with a swirl on it and really don't like her stare. The other is this blonde with an equally stupid hat.

>This is what happen when you lurk drunk. You make a multipost a shitty fan fiction

>>16286467
>What do you do now?
Find the Hakurei shrine or die.
>What do you expect?
To die.
>What don't you expect?
To live.

>>16287106
>I'm already lost as it is, Misty Lake sounds nice till I read the caption underneath of it saying a mansion that belongs to the fucking devil - no thanks,
Guess we can rule out the character getting smugged at in this story.

>>16287249
I look at the blonde sitting down and I ask, "Ran?" then both women start giggling and the 6 foot 7 walking fluff beside me breaks a huge shit grin. This is going to suck. The Blonde say, "You must be lost". Thank god another one that can speak English. I reply saying if she was Yukari and she nods and tells me about how was my stay in Gensokyo. "Not a fan" I replied, "Everything is feels like is trying to kill me, I can't understand anyone, and almost died on my second day. I just want to go home." She gives me this bull shit about why should you go home and I tell her because I don't want to croak in some strange land. Good enough reason.

She looks at her friend across the table that had her eyes closed with a grin and starts talking to her in Japanese. She responds and after a long pause this Yukari takes a drink and I fucked up by saying what did she say? "I asked her if I should even take you back home. She said you will come back eventually. You're lucky she's on your side because I can tell you this, nobody else is."
Bitch.

She swipes her finger behind her and line with two ribbons on each side appears out of knowwhere, it opens up and then I just seen eyes everywhere between the line as myself went wide eyed. The woman in the blue clothes starts giggling again.
Yukari instructs me to simply walk into the gap and I would enter the outside world again and I will be back home.
Its time to man up. All I have to do is walk into this floating wall of eyeballs and i'm home free. I start walking towards it and it gets creepier and creepier the closer I get but I stop infront of it. I turn to Yukari and I ask her how I ended up here in the first place. "You were drunk on an image board 4 in the morning - something called 'shitposting on /jp/' and now you are here" The only think I could say was okay, thanks and I walked into the eyes and everything went dark.

Am I dead? Nah, I just have my eyes closed so I open them and I find myself in a rural area. Fucking A i'm home. Home looks different but i'm probably in a different neighbourhood - a really strange neighbourhood. I walk down the street and most of the people look all Chinese or Japanese. Okay, did I end up the Kensington Market? Doesn't explain the buildings. Then I seen the Japanese flag. Oh hell no. I run up to some random chick on the street and repeatedly said GPS GPS. She busts out her phone hits what looks like google maps and what I feared was right. I'm in fucking Japan.

THE END

>When I got to the 3rd part I thought to myself, what the fuck am I doing. Next thing I know i'm neck deep in a shitty fan fiction and I might as well finish it for the fuck of it. This last part was rushed because I just wanted to get over it already.
Thank you and good night

>>16287370
well i thought it was bretty good, at least its a contribute.

>>16287370
Thanks for the effort.

>>16287278
Hey the Human village is also a safe spot to try and find but everything else is spot on man.

>>16286467
SERE

>>16287370
>shitty fan fiction
As far as "gapped into Gensokyo" story goes, this is probably the most realistic take on it that I've seen.

Aside from being killed by the first youkai you meet, which is probably what would happen to the majority of people here.

Kudos to you, because I actually read all of that.

Jump into the lake while genuflecting while screaming YUKARI

>>16286508
And you're gonna get blue balls if you dont let 2hu me jerk you off with my mammaries!

>>16286467
>What do you do now?
Go to either SDM or the Human Village, whichever is closer. Pray I don't die along the way. If I wind up at SDM, pray that Remilia is amused enough by somebody who speaks English to keep me around. If I'm in the village, get a job helping at the school or something similar.
>What do you expect?
Pretty good chance I die before I get anywhere. If I get to SDM, pretty good chance I wind up as vampire food (Which is more better than generic youkai food, in my book). If I don't wind up as food, I'll enjoy the simple (If difficult, because my Japanese is very bad) life.
>What don't you expect?
To have an easy time of it, unless the same force that brought me here magically turned me into a cute girl and/or made me literate in Japanese so I can communicate with the natives.

>>16286467
Pull out my gats and claim this tract of land for God and Country

I'd go to the SDM to see if Remilia would be willing to keep me as food. I remember reading that she has a small appetite and can feed on a human without killing them. If that doesn't work I'll just wander the wilderness and jerk off till a 2hu kills me.

>>16287370
Enjoyable, would read again. 5/7.

Bang Chen.

Ran comes in.

Bang Ran.

Yukari comes in.

Let her watch the whole thing until she becomes disinterested.

Fall asleep as the middle spoon.

>>16291248
Whoops, forgot to put out my picture of donald trump next to the bedside table before falling asleep.

Expose my dick.

That would instantly lure Yukari to my position, she can then help me understand Nipponese.

Raise an army, start taking over Gensokyo, turn defeated Touhous into members of my harem, then focus on child rearing.

Walk to Hakurei Shrine.
Whenever anybody walks past I'd say "Sumememasen desu. Boku no ocarsan oh mememashiterkar desu?"
Wait until a nice old lady takes me home.

Well here I am looking back at my own story of 'What would happen if you were transported to Gensokyo' and I'm impressed myself to do a long-ass story, it was definitely because of the alcohol. It took so a bit to type this and if you noticed that the last post seemed a bit rushed was because it was peaking at 5 in the morning and the beer was wearing off. The story took longer than I thought because I was trying to be as detailed as I could, throw a bit of humour into it, and at least throw in a few of the main cast into the story even if they were mentioned or just showed up for a bit. I think I had 13 main cast mentioned in the story...not bad as i'm typing this.
After a while it was getting hard to come up with a story when everyone spoke a different language and it was throwing me off a bit and originaly i was going to have Yukari only spoke Japanese too but like I said before, I was on my 12th beer and the buzz was wearing off at the end so I wanted to finish it.
After I finished and read over it, I cringed a bit that I wrote something like this but the next day I looked over it and thought fuck I swore a lot and used proper grammar like a 11 year old but nevertheless it was actually not bad if I do say so myself.
I went by the picture OP used as a reference so if the map was different, the story would have been different.

I know this isn't /lit/ but if you guys have any questions, i'll give it a shot.

>>16287513
>>16287671
>>16289745
>>16291160
Glad you people liked it. I was actually almost expecting to see some criticism but I would get a good laugh out of that.

>>16287686
People die inside the human village too, from youkai or other humans.

The residents themselves are the safest, but if I remember right most of the people who come into the Gensokyo from the outside world were brought in for food.

Easy Mode:
Spawning in the Human Village
Spawning near the Moriya or Hakurei Shrines
Spawning in Kasen Ibaraki's Mansion

Medium mode:
Spawning in Eientei
Spawning in the bamboo Forest
Spawning the the Forest of Magic with Marisa around

Hard mode:
Spawning in the Scarlet Mansion
Spawning in Youkai Mountain

Hardcore, please consider suicide mode:
Spawning in old Hell,
Spawning in the Palace of the Earth Spirits
Spawning in the Tengu Village
Spawning in the Kappa Village
Spawning in the the Forest of Magic with no Marisa around
Spawning in Hakugyokurou

>>16287370
Pretty good and mostly realistic. I'd just say that Reimu is also gap certified and allegedly a much better resource for exiting Gensokyo.

>spawn in SDM
>za warudo
>knifed to death for being a suspicious intruder
such is life in gensokyo

>>16286467
There should be a language barrier so the first think I should do is search for someone who could teach me how to speak their language. But who could it be? Patchouli because of her inmense library? Mamizou because she came from the outside? Yukari since she can be anywhere?

>>16292446
>Spawning in Hakugyokurou
I think you already "considered" suicide in that case.

>>16286467
Apprenticing under Marisa or Patchouli would be fun. Although Patche would be hard to convince, and with Marisa you need to know Japanese (I do, or at least enough), so it's a pick your poison kind of deal.

If you can become a Magician, you can probably survive pretty well. They're both interesting options, too, but I think I'd go with trying to learn from Patche. I bet Remilia would find me amusing. Marisa might-- no, she WOULD poison me at some point.

>>16292501
>Patchouli because of her inmense library?
She's also presumably able to speak English since she has an English surname, however weird it is.

Oh, and Remilia can speak English.

>>16292446
>Spawning in the Palace of the Earth Spirits
If you're fine enough with having your mind read and your sentences finished, that might be grounds for Satori not to hate you and feed you to her pets. If you're lucky, she'll see you as a novelty (Being from the outside and all) and actually willingly keep you around

>Spawning in the the Forest of Magic with no Marisa around
Pray for Alice to intervene. It's your only option. Otherwise yeah you're straight fucked.

>Spawning in Hakugyokurou
The obvious joke has already been made, but if you're special snowflake enough to respawn as a sentient ghost this is far better than dying normally.

>>16292501
Remilia and Kousozu both know English (Though Kousozu's proficiency is questionable, as I recall), so one of them should be a good starting point.

>>16292501
Why would Patchy teach you in the first place?
>>16292446
Bamboo forest should be in hard mode.

>>16292667
>Why would Patchy teach you in the first place?
A sort of information trading, perhaps? Telling her something about the outside world with the condition of teaching me Japanese.
Although I imagined that she knows more than I could possibly tell. Besides, I would need to pass Meiling and Sakuya in the first place, so that's a problem enough.

I'm not that anon, by the way, just want to provide an answer.

>>16292738
Passing through Meiling is possible but Sakuya is time itself so it's best to forget the idea of trying and force your way in, if you speak chinese maybe Meiling will convience Remi not to kill you and give you a hand.

Youkai mountain if busted by a White Wolf is depending on Moriya relations at the time. Since scooping up some dumbfuck outsider and dropping their ass off at the Moriya Shrine is one option in times where relations are more warm. And from the Moriya Shrine Sanae likely just hauls you to the Hakurei shrine so Reimu sends you home.
Else you're gonna get killed for not obeying the pickets and not understanding the warning calls/shots.

Old Hell depends where you're found and by who. Oni probably break you even if accidentally as they want to see if you're tough (blame Marisa and Reimu for giving them the idea)

Satori will realize you're a degenerate and probably only tolerate you long enough for communication to be made to get you picked up by Sanae (you might have to get some checking to see if you picked up anything hot from near the reactor)

If found by Yamame she'll be your friend for a while while infecting you with marinading illnesses until she decides to kill you. Hopefully it'll be a fast death and not her going giant spider mode and eating you like a regular spider.

Spawning in the Tengu Fortress has you getting either gunned down or having the first guard tackling you like a linebacker tackling a streaker but much stronger.

If you survive you're being thrown into jail while they figure out what's going on (hope to not die from internal injuries from being tackled). Also hope they decide to dump you with the Moriya Shrine

Kappa Territory is depending if you're 'useful' Technical knowledge is useful. Also handing over all your tech. Relations with Moriya will depend on your fate. I mean you're probably getting a full cavity search either way even if they're not going for an extraction.
Just remember your value is directly tied to how much knowledge you have about the internal workings of your technology and what you can teach them directly. Stop being useful and your value plummets

You DO the internal architecture of your smart phone... right?

>>16292667
>Bamboo forest should be in hard mode
That really depends where in the forest you spawn in; anywhere near Mokou or Eientei would put it in either Easy or Medium.
Anywhere else? Hope that you die of hunger before a beast youkai caught your scent.

>>16292765
>if you speak chinese maybe Meiling will
Knowing Meiling's character, appearing harmless and helpless is probably enough to get her to help you, even without knowing Chinese.
In fact, the shortest - and more dangerous - route to take is to challenge her into a match, try to beat her (emphasis on the word "try"), and get Remi to take an interest in you.

>>16292867
I doubt you can get Remi interest when you're beaten in no time.

>>16292620
So the smug vampire can speak English
Now that would be an adventure, shame it'll never happen

>>16292856
>Spawning in the Tengu Fortress has you getting either gunned down or having the first guard tackling you like a linebacker tackling a streaker but much stronger.
not sure, since the Tengu seem "friendly" with humans

>>16293274
>the Tengu seem "friendly" with humans
From PMiSS:
>If an intruder appears on the mountain, they'll quickly show up in force to remove them, which is a characteristic not seen in other youkai
Yeah, "friendly".

>>16293336
Removing them is pretty friendly.

Most youkai would kill and eat you.

>>16293375
>Most youkai would kill and eat you
Where is this even said?

>>16289813
Mommies milk Mommies milk!!!

>>16293389
...Everywhere?

Like most prologues, most dialogues, entries in PMiSS, interviews with ZUN, there's at least one short story about how these dudes got trapped in Gensokyo and picked off one by one (I think it's part of one of the music albums), the manga heavily imply it but don't tend to outright state it though some humans die at the hands of youkai in FS (in WaHH, they talk about feeding youkai by bringing in outsiders)

>>16293389
here, I guess

if you want ONE of the many sources

my sheer raw autism would likely make me indirectly damage the balance of Gensokyo. If Yukari doesn't get rid of me quick enough the boundary between Gensokyo and the "ultimate fantasy" detailed in my 9th grade English notebook will begin to distort.

It's sad how some people genuinely think Gensokyo's inhabitants would be extremely kind to humans.

In SoPM the various factions outright state that humans are nothing more than cattle to harvest faith from, the only one that comes even close to the desire to watch over and care for humans is Miko. Once again, TAOISTS RULE, BUDDHISTS DROOL

>>16293407
>there's at least one short story about how these dudes got trapped in Gensokyo and picked off one by one (I think it's part of one of the music albums),

Dolls in Pseudo Paradise, although I could forgive someone for not considering it a real source.

>>16292856

>And from the Moriya Shrine Sanae likely just hauls you to the Hakurei shrine so Reimu sends you home.

Depends. Kanako would probably keep you around if you're smart. Having a genius human outsider continuing Sanae's bloodline > A normal villager that probably can't adapt with their high living standard or understand stuff from outside.

>>16293952
Why the rush to propagate?

>>16294004
Are you saying you wouldn't want to have lots of children with Sanae?

>>16286467
Let's add some spice here. What if after spawning in Gensokyo you acquire a supernatural power in order to defend yourself? Like, teleportation, control over an element, things like that

>>16293848
Why? Just wondering.

If anything I like how Reimu overlooks the whole thing; it's a good way of showing how she actually thinks.

>>16292856
>Youkai Mountain
You'll get in shit for being on the mountain then hauled to Moriya shrine to get in more shit for not giving proper faith then shipped to Reimu's shrine to get in more shit for giving her work to do just to find out that she doesn't know how to send you home. You're fucked.

>Old Hell
Yeah, you're going to be beaten, mugged, forced to drink, beaten some more, probably captured and sold as food or just killed and eaten on the spot, and if you some how manage to avoid all of this you might still get radiation poisoning. Go to Detroit for a next-to-real experience.

>Satori
Reading your heart is like looking at your recent search history.

>If found by Yamame she'll be your friend
>Hopefully it'll be a fast death
I don't think spiders do that. Watch lord of the rings to know what I mean.

>Jail
I don't think they'll just keep you till you reach bail. They'll go straight to death row by Boiling, Burning, Crucifixion, Decapitation by sword, or Sawing.

>Kappa Territory
Good thing these are the 'Friendly to humans Kappas' and not the 'Rip your soul out of your anus Kappas'.

>>16294771
>Friendly to humans Kappas
Only to villagers

>>16286467
[X] Jump in the lake.

>>16294810
Then I guess you should prepare your anus

>>16286467
Hopefully I have enough time to tell the first youkai I meet about america and all the fat people so I can become their slave and work for them killing and cooking people because fuck trying to survive in a straightforward way.

>>16294533
Assuming you don't know about the SC rules, it'll probably go something like this:
- Enter Gensokyo
- Obtain supernatural ability
- Go on a chuuni-induced rampage
- Reimu comes in, and kick your ass
- She explains about the SC rules, which you now have to comply to
- Depending on how much interests the other girls hold of an outsider, you'd have to fight in a danmaku battle for days on end
This is just one of the many possible scenario, mind.

>>16294771
>she doesn't know how to send you home
Isn't that factually incorrect? Unless the article in PMiSS lied to us, it's unlikely Reimu doesn't know how to do that.
Besides, even if she can't, she still knows someone who can.

>>16294771
>>16294955
>Isn't that factually incorrect?
Yes. Reimu is a barrier shrine maiden, so of course she can manipulate the Hakurei barrier and send people home.

Yukari is often the reason people wind up in Gensokyo in the first place.

Do I get to bring anything?

I'm catholic so I'd bring my scapular at least. And my bible so I can remember those demon-repelling words of power. Serpents and scorpions and so forth, nothing shall harm me.

I'm sure I'd be at least given alms at Eientei by virtue of being a curiosity, hopefully I could be taken in as a guest at Kaguya's pleasure. Although getting there wouldn't be easy by any stretch of the imagination.

>>16295084
I hope I get warped in at the same time as you so I can witness such an amusing sight. I wonder how the youkai would react to such a ridiculous performance.

>>16293274
Yea but you've shown up in restricted territory, it's like someone suddenly teleporting into a military base.

Tackling and arresting you is them being nice they are guards after all. A tackle is an effective way to get you to the ground so they can cuff you.

Itchy trigger finger gets you gunned down.

>>16293952
Yea but you don't think we have the qualifications of that guy. We ARE posting on /jp/.

>>16295084
Do you have true faith or just think that words without a true faith have any value?

If I carry a pistol do I start strapped? Can I use it to intimidate any youkai that try to eat me?

>>16297242
For one, they probably don't know what a gun is or what it does. The only way you can intimidate them is by firing a shot, which probably would attract more trouble your way.

>>16297242
You can at least go to Nitori and do some kind of exchange

>>16297628
Didn't the mountain kappa have guns of some sort?

>>16294533
If that series about getting gapped which /jp/ hates so much has taught me anything, it's that I'd use them only when necessary and start to adapt myself to Gensokyo's way of life as soon as possible without standing out too much.
>>16295084
Remember that crosses don't work on vampires in Touhou. You could always try channeling faith in magic attacks though.

>>16286467
Gensokyo has a small population. Of those only a small number can possibly become magicians. I'd say /jp/ has a similarly sized population. However, due to there being a larger proportion of strangely skilled people here (odd as in, rare not /r9k/ or /v/ odd, which is a a euphemism for autistic), I'm sure more of us would be able to become magicians than Gensokyo's human population. It shouldn't be hard to become a magician, though, given that the likes of Alice (even though she's cute) can do it with premodern levels of knowledge. You'd have to live long enough to find out.

Assuming, of course, that we don't get devoured as an outsider the moment we appear. I'm sure the youkai of Gensokyo don't recognise each and every human, but looking at our clothes or complexions, they'll be able to tell right away that we're not natives.

It wouldn't be hard to blend, in, though. You go to the nearest human settlement, get some work, or even just steal some clothes, and you'll be hard to tell apart from them. If you can speak Japanese, you could very quickly become someone important depending on what knowledge you have that they don't given their backwards society.

The youkai are essentially going to try and kill you every five minutes, though, but unlike Reimu, you have no power but your wits.

Just reading over what I wrote, it's just going in circles. You need to blend in with the native humans; you need to protect yourself or stay out of harms way; you're going to need to develop some power, or technology that looks like magic, otherwise Rumia or someone else will just casually eat you.

>>16295034
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it usually oddities that end up in Gensokyo? Sanae's human, but she's also linked to Gensokyo due to being a descendant of Suwawawawa. I think if we end up there, there's probably a good reason for it other than "you're breakfast".

>>16297655

>You could always try channeling faith in magic attacks though.

Kanako, Miko, Byakuren, and potentially Raymoo would beat the crap out of you if you start Deus Vult-ing your way out of harm.

>>16297777
Just make clear you don't intend to spread a new religion and it's just a personal thing you're following. Plus, Gensokyo already knows about Jesus.

>>16286467
Try to make my way to the SDM without getting killed. Getting hired as a servant there shouldn't be hard, considering how useless the fairy maids are.
If I'm lucky Remilia will be interested in the new servant from the outside world in her mansion and will come to speak with me. If I can manage to not bore her then I'll be one step closer to my favorite 2hu.

>>16297650
The yamawaro? I don't think they ever use gun. Of course, maybe I'm just remembering the wrong chapter.
On the other hand, the firearm is a known concept, so maybe it would work to intimidate some youkai. It really depends on who you're using it on.

>>16297777
I doubt they would touch you as long as you don't show yourself up in the middle of the village going "WAKE UP SHEEPLE!".

>>16297777
>>16297790
Wouldn't channeling Christianity through faith based magic be a lot stronger since it has a larger following than most of Gensokyo's resident religions?

>>16297700
>>I think if we end up there, there's probably a good reason for it other than "you're breakfast".
Well, you think wrong.

https://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Perfect_Memento_in_Strict_Sense/Outsider
>happens enough that it needs its own entry
>most of these people are eaten
>rarely do they survive, let alone live in Gensokyo

There's also a chapter in WaHH where Yukari is talking about how she brings in humans for food (chapter 14) and it's been stated elsewhere that spiriting away is mostly her fault. That said, most things that come through are objects. As for Sanae and the Moriya Shrine, this place and people weren't forgotten or spirited away: Kanako and Suwako deliberately moved into Gensokyo.

>>16297700
>>16297906
and I'd also like to mention bringing in humans for food is indeed a "good reason", if you keep in mind that Gensokyo is a youkai paradise

>>16297884
Depends on whether the efficacy has to do with the presence of the diety/religion in Gensokyo or not. Gensokyo does know about Jesus, but Jesus has yet to appear in Gensokyo (fangames excluded) and I doubt there are many Christians there.

I would fug 2hus

>>16297929
Didn't the Youkai Mountain have an entry to the outside world where they can take humans whenever they want?

>>16298950
Not that I know of. Humans mostly come through at Muenzuka and the Hakurei Shrine, where the barrier is funky. Nobody else should be able to freely or easily move around or retrieve things, hence why Reimu and Yukari are so important, and why people value what things DO come through the barrier (if only as food)

>Secure makeshift weapon, a branch, rock or anything that could reasonably be used to do harm.
>Attempt to find North from the stars.
>Begin walking towards any lights or signs of civilisation
>If I'm aware of where I am, pray for safe passage and for my weapon to strike true.
>If not, do so anyway because God will be my only friend until I reach civilisation.
>Either find relative safety or die in horrible screaming agony.

Pretty much the same as any hostile terrain on Earth.

I suppose the horrible screaming agony is more likely, but at least with the weapon I can be just a little defiant by screaming "DEUS VULT!" and charging the youkai with a hilariously ineffective weapon. It might catch them off guard, who knows.

Hunt down every single Youkai, those abominations.

>>16299318
You know the person you posted went insane with grief over her foolish monster hunting ways, right?

>>16299318
I want micolash to put his hand up my ass, then cast augur of ebrietas

>>16299318
>>16299271
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFzWbbNO_Ic

GO FOR THE EYES

>>16299318
And how do you plan on defeating beings that can spam lasers and manipulate the borders of reality with contemporary human weaponry? I highly doubt even a nuke would pose a significant threat to someone like Yukari. And you can be sure that she's going to notice someone fucking around with her youkai.

>>16286467

Presuming human village starting point and no major alterations to my being, go2taoism.

Becoming a hermit appears to be the only safe path to avoiding turning into cattle.

In fact, is there any good reason not to immediately aim for hermitage?

>>16299603
eh the print works says Miko treats her followers more like servants than disciples, so learning the way to immortality is gonna take a long while

>>16299597
You kill Reimu, thus causing the barrier to break and thus do the equivalent of shoving a unsuited astronaut out of the airlock.
That or you use the nuke to vaporize the human village thus causing the youkais to faith-starve to death

>>16299630
Have fun when Yukari warps to earth and starts eating everyone.

>>16299670

I'll stop hor, she's joost a' beest,

>>16299690
Yeah right. I doubt you could even scratch a lower level youkai. Unless your plan was to free the youkai all along, things will go very, very badly.

>>16299721

I've hoonted worse things thun Youkai.

>>16299670
>implying
Too much logic and science here, this environment is hostile to their very existence, nay, not hostile, actively trying to erase them, it'd be like ending up in 'straya

>>16299736
Like your mom?
>>16299741
There are enough fools to believe in islam and the other religion I dare not mention for fear of receiving images of fedoras, getting humans to believe in youkai should be faily easy. I wouldn't be surprised if Yukari already made sure there was a cult of followers of her back on earth so that she could get out if gensokyo went to shit. I mean, what are the humans going to do? Shoot her? She can just warp that shit right back at them, no problem.

And this is all under the assumption Yukari wouldn't bother warping every other youkai out of gensokyo as well. Humans are easy to convince of the existence of some powerful thing, especially if that thing starts shooting lasers in your sky. Even if Yukari just brings along some of the more powerful youkai, humanity is pretty fucked. Youkai aren't some semi powerful race that is completely subdued, they're humanitys worst nightmare barely being contained because the youkai are too lazy to give a shit. But you can be sure that if the border goes down, some youkai are going to escape, and when they do it's going to suck for everyone.

>>16299793

Wow rude....

>>16299793
>There are enough fools to believe in islam and the other religion I dare not mention for fear of receiving images of fedoras
Oh boy! It'd be a wild ride for those monsters.
On one hand they will have their hands full of suicide bombers and trucks going at full speed
On the other DEUS MOTHERFUCKING VULT with added tanks and jets
And if it weren't enough there is still the risk of them getting decapitated by a thrown fedora like in Goldfinger

>>16299630
>You kill Reimu, thus causing the barrier to break
They would just replace Reimu if she died. Considering there have been multiple shrine maidens maintaining the barrier it's safe to assume one dying doesn't break it, it just needs upkeep.

There are also implications that the Hakurei Shrine Maiden doesn't actually need to be a blood Hakurei, but I'll admit i dunno about that.

>>16299741
>this environment is hostile to their very existence
Yukari visits the outsides world all the time for shits and giggles.

>>16299603
>is there any good reason not to immediately aim for hermitage?
it isn't easy and you'll probably fail

if you don't fail you might be an old man by the time you achieve immortality

Becoming a magician is more reliable, but you'd become physically weak from various experimentations.

>>16292446
If you were transported to Hakugyokuro, your best bet is to have a shitton of food on you to bribe Yuyuko with. And that's if you can get past Youmu.

>>16299889
All you need in Hakugyokurou is a proton pack.

>>16299830
Oh fuck off. You think a bunch of bombs, trucks, jets and tanks are going to stop someone like Yukari or Yuuka? Both of them alone could flatten a modern human military in minutes. Fucking Cirno poses a bigger threat to their existence than that kind of stuff. The only reason they haven't left gensokyo yet is, well, why bother working for a living when you are guaranteed the NEET life? Also Reimu is a living anti-youkai weapon, it's not that much in their interests to destroy the border and leave as things stand for them right now. But kill Reimu and cause the border to collapse, and they'll have no reason not to enslave humanity.

Do you want to get everyone fucking killed? Except it will be a worse fate than extinction, humanity will only exist to be livestock for the youkai.

Man, it'd actually be kind of cool if you ended up in Gensokyo through some (non-gappy, thus non-food form) thing or another and teamed up with other people to start an incident. It'd also be cool if I just had people to imagine being there with. Basically, this thread only reminds me that all my friends are dead or gone.

>>16299830
>>16299916
Alright you larping faggots take your powerlevel fantasy bullshit to another thread

>>16299916
Listen here dipshit, the reason why they are in their little bubble over in chinchonbumfuckyo is because they were being slaughtered left right and center, we did it once we can do it again AND FINISH THE JOB IF IT NEEDS TO BE

>>16286467
>What do you do now?
RUN

>>16299916

>>16299947
The only reason they had trouble back then was because anti-youkai specialists were in abundance. But in modern day, there's fuck all. By the time someone realizes just who the fuck it is their dealing with, there won't be a human left on the planet who knows the necessary shit to fight youkai. And thanks to some bright fuckhead killing off the ONLY person who can fight off youkai besides Marisa, there is absolutely no way to beat them. Go ahead, launch an assortment of bullets, bombs, missiles and nukes at someone like Yukari. Just don't be surprised when it all appears over your own head a couple seconds later. We don't even know if Reimu can defeat Yukari at all, it is heavily implied Yukari is just teasing her. If she gets serious, you don't stand a fucking chance in hell after you've performed the amazing job of killing humanitys only possible defender.

>>16300039
Thanks to mister genius over here, Reimu isn't around to save shit and you're all fucked because he thought it would be a good idea to kill off humanitys only hope at survival in a poorly thought out attempt at live out his chuuni fantasies by removing the only thing keeping the youkai fat and happy in gensokyo. Oh, yeah, I guess Reimu isn't THE only person who can fight youkai, but I highly doubt the few others can take on every youkai in existence.

>>16299603
>In fact, is there any good reason not to immediately aim for hermitage?
Don't hermit has to fight the shinigami from time to time? So you would need to have a significant amount of fighting skill if you wanted to continue living.

Although I can imagine people here becoming a hermit just to see Komachi.



Unrelated, but what the hell is with the long-winded argument anyway? On one hand there's an idiot who believes humanity can actually stand to even one of the youkai, and on the other is an idiot whose temper was so short he actually replied to the first idiot.

Also, both of them seems to be under the assumption that killing Reimu would break the barrier, when Aya's only concern is "we need a new miko, again".

>>16300173
>Although I can imagine people here becoming a hermit just to see Komachi.
They wouldn't. Komachi doesn't fight hermits, and in fact shinigami don't fight hermits at all. The people who fight hermits are kishin, as revealed in Wild and Horned Hermit. "Shinigami fight hermits" is a rumor, and Komachi only interacts with Kasen because 1) Kasen is not actually a hermit 2) Kasen is interesting/fun to tease 3) Komachi is a lazy bitch

>>16300058

>>16286467
>How did you get to Gensokyo in the first place?

>>16300228
Yes I mad

>>16299889
Isn't that more OH GOD WTF I DON'T BELONG HERE THERE MUST BE A MIXUP and then them getting someone from record keeping from the Ministry and checking your expected 'due date' and after realizing this just having someone ferry you across the Sanzu and get an apology for the mixup.

Then you get to the village then get escort to Reimu and get dumped off in Rural Japan.

The proper answer is to find a cute low level youkai like rumia and ask them to eat you. I'd rather die to a cute youkai than an ugly one.

>>16300687
High level youkai are also pretty cute, dude.

>>16300729
They are more likely to kill you before eating or just ignore you.

>>16299793
>I wouldn't be surprised if Yukari already made sure there was a cult of followers of her back on earth so that she could get out if gensokyo went to shit
What is touhou? Who is ZUN?
You're implying that it doesn't already exist.

>>16300343
I wonder what bleach feels like.

>>16301190
With that logic ZUN would be a literal god and we would all have to submit to his power. Humanity may be bound to one absolute ruler, but it's better than living as livestock.

>>16301190

>>16301190
I don't think Touhou exists in Touhou, though.

>>16301216
I hope ZUN is the extra stage boss in the final Touhou game.

>>16301296
That's what they want you to think

>>16300044
If they can exist here then don't be surprised when the armies of Heaven come ruining their day, or Allah himself comes to launch a Jihad against "the slant eyed monsters"

What kind of youkai would you be /jp/?

>>16302081
a youkai of hope
I would spread false hope among people and thus delude them into thinking that they can rely on my power to get them out of situations.

>>16302170
Sounds like normal kami to me.

>>16302081
A futakuchi-onna. But instead of having a literal second mouth, I would have a second opposite personality instead.
The normal personality would have the ability to construct success; basically I can assist someone reach their goal, directly or not.
The second personality would have the ability to obstruct success; that is, assisting someone to fail their goal instead.

>>16302081
>any year
>being a filthy monster

>>16301200
Delicious.

>>16286467
>you are now homeless and unemployed in December in a foreign country where your skills and money are worthless and the only English speakers are vampires

Best possible outcome is getting killed by Flan. I could give her a hug and scratch her back while suckling on and fondling her earlobe with my tongue while she drains me

>>16302081
What youkai is just filled with edgy, endless hate for everything?

>>16292446
I don't know, some of these aren't as hard as they seem.
>Spawning in the bamboo Forest
Doesn't Tewi help the lost ? At this point you're either in easy modo (Human Village) or medium (Eientei).
>Spawning in old Hell
>Spawning in the Palace of the Earth Spirits
Both are close enough to be one and the same, spawn in either and your fate lies with Satori.
>Spawning in Hakugyokurou
LITERALLY the best possible, nothing in the story shows its residents as being bad people and or violent.

>>16303027
There's the onryo, written as 怨霊, literally 'vengeful spirit'.

>>16302081
https://exhentai.org/g/885762/191092277e/
https://exhentai.org/g/988957/b032a9aaa2/
This kind.

>>16302081
Booze oni

>>16303058
>Doesn't Tewi help the lost ?
No. If you come across Tewi you'll be lucky, but she's hard to find and fucks off quickly.

Mokou helps people and I imagine Reisen might as well, but that's only two people. The bamboo forest of the lost is dangerous as fuck.

>>Spawning in Hakugyokurou
>LITERALLY the best possible
Youmu is very quick to attack ANYONE who comes on the premises without explicit permission, so it's actually quite dangerous.

Yuyuko might also kill you just cause she can.

>>16303677
So lets say you die within the Hakugyokurou ... you're already in the Nethrworld, so I guess you get to stick around ?
Would also be hilarious if you died in the Hakugyokurou, crossed the Sanzu, got your judgement and went back to live with the people who just killed you.

But seriously, I don't think Youmu will be as ready to attack people as we think, she attacked Reimu and the cast of PCB because she and her mistress were up to something to begin with. Outside of that time she stood guard, she's a gardener.

>>16303694
If I could retain my will as a wandering soul, I might be okay with Hakugyokurou, although I don't know how I feel about not having a proper body.

Also, Youmu also attacks if you go to Hakugyokurou in the fighting games, simply because you came there. Like you said, she IS a guard.

Admittedly we don't see very many visits to the place while Youmu is standing guard in canon, though.

>>16303702
Well now, I didn't play the english patches of the fighting games and I only read the script quite some time ago, but don't the conversation usually go like "You've got no place here", and "Yeah nah fek off m8" or something like that ?

2hus always warn beforehand, I'm pretty sure she'd realize you're not an invader once you drop your spaghetti and start crying in english.

Plus, much as we may segregate youkai as evil man eating monsters, everyone in the Hakugyokurou was, by deffinition, human, so they ought to understand how you feel at least a little.

>>16303161
Hmmm... But it's not vengeance I seek

>>16303726
Well that's all true, though I'd still be wary around Youmu for a first meeting myself. And much as I love Yuyuko I'd think interacting with her might be dangerous.

I guess for what it's worth she hasn't actually killed anyone casually, but she did TRY in IN with the immortals. Probably (hopefully) because she knew they wouldn't die.

>>16303677
>Yuyuko might also kill you just cause she can.
Do you even follow the story?

>>16295566

>Yea but you don't think we have the qualifications of that guy. We ARE posting on /jp/.

Just saying that out of all 2hus in Gensokyo, Sanae probably is the only person that will accept outsiders like us. The chance of an outsider actually waifuing her is really low, but still one of the best compared to any youkai who would kill you on sight, or just doesn't give any shit about outsider's fate in Gensokyo.

Now, what if by chance, we meet Sumireko while trying to escape back to outside world, assuming we don't know how to get out of Gensokyo? Will she help us or look down on us because we're trying to escape from the place that she loves so much?

>>16303747
>Yuyuko
That girl is different from other humans.

Don't touch her.
Her curse will be passed on to you.

Don't eat her.
Her poison will curse you, too.

Above all else...
My powers can't affect her.

>Mokou
That's a pretty sour way to talk about someone
you've only just met.

And what are these "powers", huh?
What were you trying to do?

>Youmu
Lady Yuyuko can invoke death in humans.
But if it doesn't work on you--

>Mokou
So you tried to take my life right off the bat?
You're pretty dangerous phantoms.

>>16303741
Well, yeah, I always play her murder attempts in IN off as her trying to play a trick on everyone.

Besides, isn't the very reason she's dead the fact that she was so afraid to use her own powers that she an hero'd ? Doesn't seem like she'd have any reason to kill you outright, and something tells me that if she did, she'd do it to keep you around as a ghost.

Love kills you know.

>>16303768
>>Besides, isn't the very reason she's dead the fact that she was so afraid to use her own powers that she an hero'd ?
About that: how much does she even remember her human life? She obviously didn't remember anything in PCB, for example, but vaguely understood the important of the big tree.

>>16303761
Eh, I think it's probably more like Yuyuko can sense she's an immortal right away, and wanted to try it out.

>>16303772
Still not the nicest.

At any rate, while I do like her a lot I'd be scared around a being that can kill anyone just like that, and who mainly stays in a place surrounded by dead things where it's rather unnatural for living folk to be. Oh, and who's quite whimsical.

>>16302081
A better question would be, what kind of powers would you have?
Since most of the common powers are already taken by the 2hus it's kind of hard to choose something unique.

>>16303770
>She obviously didn't remember anything in PCB
Not really, the only thing she doesn't seem to know is that her body was inside Saigyou Ayakashi and that if she revived it, some freaky shit could happen.

But that's not really her fault, I don't think many ghosts would know and remember their burial sites, and we don't really know if she's oblivious to the fact she killed herself.

She could just as easliy be avoiding the topic, your own suicing isn't exactly something you'd go talking about to everyone.

>>16303786
>the only thing she doesn't seem to know is that her body was inside Saigyou Ayakashi and that if she revived it, some freaky shit could happen.
it's a pretty big deal to not remember that, so I've always figured most of her past life didn't really come through in the transition from alive to ghost

Then again, she IS friends with Yukari, who at least knew her before she killed herself.

>>16303793
What I'm saying is that things in Touhou are different. The usual western concept of ghosts is that once you die you become a ghost straight away and probably get attached to your corpse. In Gensokyo, you have the whole process of walking a long road, crossing a river, getting judged and so on, a process we don't even know if Yuyuko went by.

My point is, even if she remembered anything from her past life, there's no way she'd know where her family fucked off with her body to. Imagine looking for your grave in the local graviyard and not finding it ? The last place you'd think to look for it is inside a mysterious monster tree whose purpose of existence you don't even comprehend.

How did they put her in there anyway.

>>16303820
I think you're wrong about that. I'm pretty sure it was a whole process, her death.

She isn't even "buried". she was used to seal the tree so that it wouldn't kill anymore. That was her decision.

In fact, yeah, it's all in her profile. Thought I was remembering it right.

In the garden of the Saigyouji clan, there exists a youkai cherry blossom with a story behind it; it is called the Saigyou Ayakashi. For as long as Yuyuko had been there, this cherry tree has never bloomed, even in spring.

One day, while browsing through the library as usual, Yuyuko found an old record. It looked so old that it was practically ageless; within it, the following was written...

"The girl who bears witness to death, at the time of the Saigyou Ayakashi's full bloom, shall be bound by mortality. So that her soul may rest in peace within Hakugyokurou, I will seal the cherry blossoms, and make it the barrier. My wish... is that she will never again reincarnate, and never again suffer pain..."

Yuyuko had read that breaking the seal on the Saigyou Ayakashi, making it bloom fully, would cause a certain someone to be resurrected; she started gathering spring's essence out of curiosity.

Perhaps it was because of her carefree afterlife, or maybe the record had aged beyond recognition, but Yuyuko ultimately failed to realize that the girl who was written about in the record... was herself.

In the beginning, Yuyuko only possessed the ability to manipulate departed souls. Unconsciously, that power grew stronger, that eventually she possessed the ability to invite others to death. Terrified by her own ability, she committed suicide.

After becoming a ghost, she thoroughly forgot everything about the time she was alive, and started to enjoy being able to invoke death.

>>16303854
Yuyuko's killed millions of spermI'm sure

>>16303854
I see, you do have a point.

Well, then, back to the original point of the conversation, I don't think she'd be much of a threat to a castaway human. If anything, the story you posted makes me believe she'd be wary of killing people randomly, and even that isn't much threat to you. After all, being in the land of the dead, dying would just be the cherry on the cake.
>>16303866
Nice meem, nice dubs as well though.

>>16303897
>started to enjoy being able to invoke death
She's also, IIRC, one of the characters who don't play "proper" danmaku because, like Flan, she'll kill you entirely by accident.

>>16304413
>don't play "proper" danmaku

Explain what you mean.
The spellcards are separate from the characters powers, aren't they. Isn't that half of the reason for the existence of the spellcard system? So the youkai can go all-out in a fight without risking to kill the Shrine Maiden and damaging Gensokyo's barrier in the process?

>>16303730
Not even when it's vengeance upon the entire living and non-living, completely disregarding any differences?

>>16305018
More like having a nonviolent chance~ at beating Reimu since her powers are fucking broken. But even so she's still brokenly good at danmaku, but at least it's a somewhat peaceful way of settling things

>>16305018

>So the youkai can go all-out in a fight without risking to kill the Shrine Maiden and damaging Gensokyo's barrier in the process?

One could abuse this rule. Quoting from PMiSS

>If victorious against a human, you may not kill them.

If attacked, declare a duel with said youkai. If you win, you won't get killed. If you lose, you won't get killed. As long as an outsider can know the spellcard system and use it everytime he gets attacked, he'll live.

Whenever I start thinking seriously about what would being in Gensokyo or real-world interactions with 2hus would actually be like, I realize that it simply isn't for me. The same fears that prevent me from talking to 3D people would make me tense and uneasy around even the cutest of 2D girls (and them being so incredibly cute - especially compared to me - would only make everything so much worse). Marisa, for one, would probably mock me and bully me. Reimu wouldn't give me the time of day. Being around one of the less-intelligent 2hus, like a fairy, would leave me as awkward as I am awkward with 3D kids. Even sitting in silence with Alice or Patchy seems weird and unnatural - it isn't anything resembling a real relationship.
For these reasons I've decided that I wouldn't move to Gensokyo without the guarantee I'll be turned into a cute 2D girl myself upon arrival.

>>16306339
Being a cute girl would solve your anxiety?

>>16306352
He implied he wasn't a looker.

>>16307010
If self-confidence was his problem, not even turning into a cute 2D girl would solve it.
Next thing you know, he would think something like 'those girls are much cuter than me, oh my, oh my'.

No offense anon.

>>16305018
Sorry, I went to sleep. Yuyuko accidentally uses her power; if you get hit by the butterfly bullets, there's a good chance of death. Likewise, Flan hits too hard; her bullets are legitimate murder weapons, even though they're not supposed to be. The other one I was thinking of is Suika, who IIRC, just doesn't really play danmaku because she likes to hit people too much, which is why she's in the fighting games instead of the shmups.

>>16307155
I can't actually remember where I got those two from, actually, because I was going to quote them. Anyway, it's still fine, because Danmaku was invented on behalf of ordinary people, and those ones don't pick fights with ordinary people. Also, ZUN said that the reason (more like justification) that guys don't appear in the games is because they don't like playing danmaku.

Also, this was already said, but Reimu isn't the one in danger of dying to random matches. Most youkai don't really stand a chance against her, after all.

>>16307155
>Yuyuko accidentally uses her power; if you get hit by the butterfly bullets, there's a good chance of death. Likewise, Flan hits too hard; her bullets are legitimate murder weapons
What's your source on that? I don't remember reading anything like that.

For example, the way Flandre uses her power is "squeezing" things, not using bullets, and Yuyuko seems to be able to use her own power without her bullets.

I haven't read spell card descriptions, but I don't recall anything suggesting that.

Also Suika does play danmaku

>>16307223
I see, thought so.

Also I recall it being more like danmaku is something only women can really appreciate (it's defined by beauty and grace)

>>16307233
Yeah, they can use their powers without bullets, but for Yuyuko, it's a pretty easy thing. I'll have to go back and read through all the material soon, because there's no way I made these both up. And though I can't find the source, I'm pretty sure somebody said that Flan's bullets can break bones if you get hit by them. Which isn't explicitly her power, no, but that would kill you pretty easily.

And yeah, Suika does play Danmaku, I forgot she showed up in the tengu games. And probably ISC too, lots of people were in all three of those. I meant more that she debuted in the fighting games, which had danmaku, but were about punching people, generally. I admit I said that wrong, though.

>>16307155
>Likewise, Flan hits too hard; her bullets are legitimate murder weapons, even though they're not supposed to be.

This sounds like some random youtube secondary thing.
Are you sure this is from a canon source?

>>16307337
We literally just discussed this. If it really isn't canon, it's more likely I just made it up somehow than cribbed it from somebody else.

>>16299793
>I wouldn't be surprised if Yukari already made sure there was a cult of followers of her back on earth
That was ZUN's plan all along

>>16299793
>I wouldn't be surprised if Yukari already made sure there was a cult of followers of her back on earth

You mean us?

>>16302081

A cynical one that does nothing but complain about things.
I wouldn't even try to improve In shit like Danmaku or hunting humans.

Alternatively a booze oni

>>16307423
You realize this means that if they as much try to pull shit here, they will stagger to their burrows after every one of their orifices has taken dozens of miles of shlong? The ones that can still walk after the ordeal obviously.