/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>12650305
*bring*

bed, die of hunger

>>12650305
As a Saint I would spread Christianity to the best of my ability. Or you know go find a 2hu to fall in love with & marry.

>>12650381
>saint
>seijo
>semen girl
Is Christianity the only thing you're spreading?

well first thing id do is burn down this dorks burger joint and kick him in the face

>>12650388
>Semen girl
>Seijo
There's only one thing your quoting, and that's saint.

>>12650446
Why is Remi so incredibly cute?

Me? I'd sell crab legs

>>12650394
Wouldn't it be better to use your katana?

>>12650305
Gensokyo has never seen food of that caliber, dude...I dunno if they'll be able to handle it.

>>12651237
like a repeat of what happened when America took over all those pacific islands in the 50s

>>12651284
Nukes included?

>>12650305
Does Gensokyo have the infrastructure to support such an establishment?

I'd try to find a plot of land and start growing vegetables to sell, using whatever profit I get to buy grains and cereals. I also know some magic tricks, so I might be able to busk for a short while or something. If nothing else works out, I could try to lend my service to the SDM. I've got experience in cooking and housekeeping, so it's really just up to chance. If I manage to get things sorted out and get a comfortable living, I'd like to spend my days training with Meiling or at the Garden of the Sun.

>>12651333
Well, there's been passing reference to things like takoyaki stands and ramen shops, so, in theory.

In theory, all he needs is wheat, meat, and oil. probably some vegetables for side dishes. I don't think coffee'll be feasible, unless it happens to be growing/harvested somewhere on Gensokyo, but other than that, I don't see why not.

>>12651333
No. They are backwards retarded on any kind of production line.

>>12651323
Depends on how bad Okuu wants some.

>>12650305
I'd be your regular customer, ordering your specialty: smoked cheese and bacon hotdogs with chili beef on top.

masturbate furiously

I'd open a bread, sandwich, and lemonade shop right across the street from you, and do deliveries. I'd steal all your customers, and also I'd wear a cute dress to fit in and instantly become a local hero in Gensokyo for my delicious bread, sandwiches, and lemonade, and everyone on the jay would fap to pictures of me.

>>12651607
What a horrible combination, please end yourself.

>>12651333
Well Gensokyo was created a few years right before the First World War, and around that time the current currency was the Japanese Sen (As the Yen hasn't appeared yet) so yeah.

All that's required are some of the meats, spices, grills, etc. Having a modern day fast food restaurant appear in Gensokyo I bet a lot of human savage- I mean human villagers would interested in trying the food, but some might not try it until a good review is given as it's all fried/fast-food something Japanese back then didn't use to eat a lot.

+ Paying/Keeping the restaurant up might be a little difficult as to keep it modern you need to buy some equipment for it from Rinnosuke, and safely transport it back & forth. And if you don't have the necessary training to keep it up to date you might need the assistance of the moonies to help.

>>12651616
Fuck man you just shattered my dreams… In that case I'll just dig holes in the ground while crying every day until I become the youkai of digging holes while crying

I would just read a lot of books and study magic, maybe borrow any necessities so I can keep studying and learning more magic

>>12651633
you can read books and study magic already though

>>12651649
I could, but I'm not motivated to study it riggt now. I figure in that situation with not many other distractions, that is what I'd do.

I'm an engineer so I'd probably try to secretly start some shit with science until someone slapped my shit for disrupting the balance or whatever.

>>12651662
>I'm an engineer.
>Secretly start some shit with science.
>Disrupting the balance.
Have fun dealing with Yukari, and her shadow government.

>>12651676
I'd deal with Yukari alright, if you know what I mean

>>12651632
>In that case I'll just dig holes in the ground while crying every day until I become the youkai of digging holes
http://www.homestarrunner.com/underconstruction.html
So this guy?

>>12651700
Yeah but I'd be a cute girl with a silly hat and frilly dress
Also thanks for the nostalgia

>>12651831
>whore myself
With all the lewd on jp, I'm surprised no one has suggested starting a brothel

Can't really do anything, so I'd probably starve.

>>12651876
bro-thel, bros before 2hoes.

How would you get started in Gensokyo with no capital? First off you're going to need some shelter and if you don't have the skills to gather materials and assemble one, then you're going to have to pay someone else to acquire a shelter for you.

So do you spend the first day in Gensokyo digging tear filled holes, punching trees or doing starter quests?

>>12651901
I start it off by beating up crabs and rats and selling their loots down the general store.

I would find Nitori and together we would introduce the integrated circuit to Gensokyo. And get married.

>>12651901
You pay with your body.

>>12651928
which 2hu wud fug u?

>>12651813
Well either open a somekind of weapon shop or just whore myself.

>>12651932
Whichever that can catch me.
Good luck finding me, I'm behind seven mediums.

>>12650305
use science to disprove the existence of genoskyo thereby removing youkai.

In fact, I have a truly wonderful proof that shows that is impossible for youkai to ever fly around in the air and shoot light bullets. All I have to do is deploy it when they are in the air.

And because Zun says everyone makes their own gensokyo, and since I believe toehoes can't shoot bullets I will be invincible.

>>12652021

So you'll go to Gensokyo to destroy Gensokyo, except everyone creates their own Genoskyo, so all you will have done is ruin things for yourself?

>>12650305
I'd start up a gambling hall and saloon
with my bartending skills I'd bring forth incredible cocktails and keep in touch with the locals so I'd always have the low down on happenings. Plus ween the touhou's off shitty sake for superior beer and various liquors

>>12652058
Forgot pic

>>12652058
do any of the touhous drink beer?
furthermore is their even a brewery in Gensokyo?
(can't be out of the realm of possibility knowing ZUN's affection for the stuff...)

>>12652303
Of course there are breweries in Gensokyo, this is ZUN we're talking about and sake is a rampant drink in Gensokyo.
Contrary to popular belief, sake doesn't come from lizard secretion but rather brewed from ingredients.

I'd be a curious thing if the human village had a mass influx of westerners

>>12652386
The human village develops a little Europe/America town

>>12652392
Kinda like chinatown? That'd be neat. A bunch of incomprehensible white tall people getting drunk and chasing youkais around while naked.

Imminent danger zone. Exterminate on sight.

I'm wondering where you'll find coffee beans.
I presume they have wheat though, but where would you get refined sugar? Not sure how much sugar cane and beet there is in japan.

>>12652397
What made you think a Europe/America town would be a bunch of white people?

>>12652448
Take your multicultural politically correct bullshit somewhere else

>>12652469

It's funny because Arc is black.

>>12652510
Who said anything about Arc?

>>12652469
I'm not being PC, I'm implying America and Europe are full of Mexicans and Arabs respectively.

Is it possible to cause a civil war in Gensokyou?

>>12652622
Yes.

If you are able to kill Yukari, and all of her spies.
Convert a mass population of religious humans away from their gods into either Buddhism/Taoism. Which pisses off the gods.
Have humans enter into the Tengu Mountains on the intent to expand their domain.
And then have the Buddhist, and Taoist go off against the each other you have a recipe for disaster.

Taoist Humans vs Buddhist Humans vs PO'd Gods/Their remaining followers vs PO'd Tengu's & Youkai

Civil War all at once. Bonus if you alert the Moonies of Kaguya's, Reisen, and Eirin's locations & claim they were kidnapped by all the beings in Gensokyo especially the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Then it will be:

SDM vs Buddhist vs Taoist vs Gods vs Humans vs Tengu's vs Moonies

>>12652662
Gensokyou: Total War.

I like that.

>>12652622
http://www.touhou-project.com/gensokyo/res/12367.html#13422

I'd probably be a handyman. Repair stuff, make small household objects, fix broken tools, that sort of thing. I'd then broker a secret pact with the tanuki, where they protect me from other youkai and provide general assistance, and I use my position to buy old tools from their owners and botch the new year's cleaning ritual so that they become tsukumogami.

My power as an oddly-dressed loli would be to use broken equipment as though they were new. So I could sit on broken chairs without embarrassing myself or drive a nail with a wooden stick that may once have had a hammer head, but not much else.

>>12653748
You've actually put some thought on this. Are you sure you aren't just describing your OC character to us?

>>12653805
If I had a handyman OC it would be these two madmen from that Swedish show with the key-eating hair monster.

These two would be right at home in Gensokyo.

non-h massage parlor.

I'd open a newsstand and report real news not tengu crap

I suppose with my tailoring skill I could make a modest living if I could find a cloth supplier and make shimapan and dakimakura for the incoming /jp/ crowd

>>12658753

Why would /jp/ need dakis when they have real 2hus to hold?

>>12658811
Implying 2hus would associate with autistic man children let alone let you touch them

Anyway I'd open up a bicycle shop and make it more convenient for the locals to get around

>>12658811
Because 2hus don't want to hold them.

>>12658833

Where you going to get the rubber from?

>>12658833
Not completely true as some of them have some pretty autistic behavior themselves.

But yeah, most of the people here would be fucked anywyas due to having no concept on how to properly treat ladies in the first place and are in some delusional wish fulfillment state where girls fall for them without them having to do a damn thing.

>>12658892
I thought you only have to unzip dick and 2hus would crawl all over them.

>>12658892
>are in some delusional wish fulfillment state where girls fall for them without them having to do a damn thing.

Like those shitty self-insert fanfics where they quote "LE EPICK MAYMAYS" then cardboard cutout dialogue receptacles resembling the girls practically cream themselves?

>>12652021
man, if i had my own Gensokyo i would be getting trashed with Suika and Yuugi constantly, and teach them about beer. I would team up with "Bimbo Miko" to exterminate a few human eating youkai as a warning.

petition the wonderful ladies of Gensokyou for remedies to my worldly shortcomings and defects, then reinvent my life and live happily ever after

>>12658935
Give them the D?

Preach the gospel and cast out youkai

The human village seems like it would be an alright place to live.
Is there any info regarding its size or population?
Kinda seems like it would have a bit of a laid back small town kind of atmosphere

What will happen if whito piggu gaijin suddenly come en masse to the village? Which youkais are actually white?

>>12659134
Remilia and Flandre are white

>>12659145
Patchouli?

>>12650305
do you actually konw how to make hamburgers, hot dogs, donuts, or coffee from scratch? Once you're there, you can't just buy things from the outside world. You'd probably need to grow your own pigs and cows and coffee beans and whatever they make donuts out of, and the climate would probably be wrong for your coffee beans anyways. Also like fuggen hot dogs, how are they even made.

>>12659153
>hot dogs, how are they even made

Minced up dogs, of course. Where do you think the name comes from?

>>12659148
And Marisa

>>12659160
I don't think she's white.

>>12659134
Remilia, Flandre, Alice, Marisa, Yukari???.

>>12659134
I think plenty youkai are from the west but just have eastern names, Ruima for instance.

>>12659171
Then what is she? Aryan?

>>12659185
Eastern Aryan or rather Jap.

>>12659180
Rumia isn't an eastern name

>>12659188
>88
>HH

While we're at it, where are the most likely countries/regions the youkais comes from?

>>12659134
Remi, Flan, and Patchy are from Europe and Alice is associated with European culture, although her exact origin is unknown. Some 2hus have western-styled names but there isn't much evidence that they aren't Japanese.

Marisa is Japanese, and although her name can be read as "western" and she styles herself as a western witch, her given name and family name are written in kanji.

Meiling is obviously Chinese and Seiga is implied to be Chinese.

Become one of Yukari spies and stalk 2hus dressed as farmer.
Also standing in a corner looking shady and always run away when spotted.

Is there any Aussie youkai?

Does Gensokyou have autism bux?

>>12659244
How does one even get recruited by Yukari? Pester Ran when she stops in to buy Tofu?

>>12659235
(cont.) Yukari is strongly implied to be another personality of Maribel, who is a western exchange student to Japan.

>>12659134
Remilia, Rumia, Wriggle, Alice.

Suwako is also jewsih

>>12659250

>>12659353
She looks like a dumb looking cunt.

>>12659153
Op is secretly a monster hunter. after killing youkai, he drags their bodies back to his diner, under the cover of darkness and cuts them up to make his food.

Kidnap/coerce Cirno into making Icecream or popsicles.

>>12659359

exactly

>>12660075
Cheeky cunt.