/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Hags aren't sexy

Breasts aren't sexy.

17 years old

Worst 2hu

>>12474605
Lewd Yukarin

>>12474670
[stares at boobs] Yes, it looks very good.

>>12474711
dude where's her other arm

>>12474734
She lost it while going through the gap.

to thin for my tastes

I've been waiting for this.

Can entities of the unknown get pregnant?

>>12474770
Well duh. Look at these smug fuckers.

>>12474764
Post this one, too.

>>12474770

>>12474763
She could use some belly padding.

>>12474770
>Doing naughty things with an ancient horror
I want to stay alive.

>>12474770
You can always try

>>12474788
If you satisfy here maybe she'll keep you around. You can't win if you don't play.

Bully the Yukarin, Y/N

I want to put it in

>>12474808
Naw.

>>12474605
Yukari a shit

she's only popular thanks to her shikigamis and granny fuckers

>>12474836
Granny fuckers? I love her for her personality AND her lewd, soft body.

Old ladies are the best.

>>12474873
The polite term is "older sisters."

>>12474886
Bountiful, beautiful onee-samas.

>>12474886
Chose a big sister to snuggle with all night long.

>>12474897
The middle one, of course. But let's make this a hag thread, not just a Yukari thread. Sometimes, diversity is a good thing.

>>12474897
I like that

>>12474916
Old ladies trying to be lolis are cute.

>>12474897
Middle one

Kanakp-sama's cute snake eyes!

Yukari corrupting Gensokyo's youth!

>>12474966
That old lady.

>>12474985
Such a lewd old lady.

>>12474997
She,s inviting you.

Is she drunk, starving, or having an orgasm? Only she knows!

I love this series or images. So quiet and peaceful.

>>12474605
rude

has anyone called Yukari a hag in canon?

>>12475083
If they did, I'm sure Akyuu simply misheard them, and Yukari will pop over shortly to correct such a misunderstanding.

>>12475083
>...and the mock nickname "Babaa" (ババァ, roughly, "old hag," also BBA for short). The last one has been in use because she is known as one of the oldest youkai in Gensokyo. In relation to this, Yukari is also often depicted with Kanako Yasaka and Eirin Yagokoro. This is due to their family names containing the character ya (八) that, when misread, can mean old hag.

Purely fanon.

>>12475127
>>12475129
>>12475083
Reimu called her a hag in ZUN's story in Season Dream Vision, she then curiously pretended she only got called ''crazy'' rather than ''hag''.

Tonight, on Unsolved Mysteries: the mysterious granny appearing all over the world. Who is she, and what does she want?

>>12475229
UPDATE: We have received a response from the granny herself:

>>12474833
>Ran has the other cake

>>12475251
I never noticed that and it makes that picture actually funny.

Please do not sexualize Yukari.

>>12475288
She started it.

>>12475288
But she's the avatar of sex and impregnation

>Not sexualizing the evil ancient horror

>>12474605
I always thought that Seiga was the sexiest being in Gensōkyō

>>12475339
The line is pretty long anon.

>>12475339
>Evil hermit that cannot into heavens, that use aborted fetus for danmaku and enslaved an innocent girl for all eternity

>>12475339
Her blue cat hair and wonderfully saggy boobs are certainly attractive, but sexiness isn't all in physical appearance.

>>12475582
Stealing a kiss while Yukarin sticks her tongue out...

And then getting brutally murdered!

>>12475625
Bad end.

>>12475632
I like that guy's art and comics, and his thing for humans getting eaten actually manages to skeeve me out a little, which is impressive.

>>12474788
Whats with all the tubes going into her vag? Is this a nip thing?

>>12475656
They're battery leads for bullet vibrators that are currently inside her. You should know this by now.

>>12475648
He also have fluffy looking Reimus.

>>12475691
Fluffy is a good way to put it, I think.

>>12475700

>>12475679
Infinitely better.

>How to catch your own ancient horror

>>12475827
How to catch your own powerful youkai.

>>12475563
Are you some kind of faggot or are you trying to say a terrified, shivering Yukari covering what her remaining scraps of clothing can't is more or less sexy than leather-clad vixen Yukari with a chain around your neck and a heel sinking into your balls?

>>12475857
Oh christ my cock.

This thead is missing some delicious pink.

>>12475974
Will cute pink do?

>>12475827
>that oblivious Chen

>>12475979
That's kinda cute.

>>12475994
Have another.

I want Yukari to scratch my sides and stomach!

>>12475679
Kanako and Yuyuko look so cute here. 10/10 little sister material

>>12475531
>aborted fetus
Huh? I thought she only used knives, curvy troll lasers, and bullshit homing balls. Still sexy though.

>>12474609
Yukari is a sweet child!

>>12476568
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Ten_Desires/Spell_Cards/Stage_4#cite_note-1

Fetus danmaku.

I know, I know, but.. would YOU tell her not to wear stockings in the pool?

Yukari's so good at being sexy that she's made a successor who's better at it.

>>12476578
worst 2hu

>>12476878
Maybe they are waterproof?
That'd be cool

>>12474605
>Yukari thread
My dicku is rock hard now

>>12477158
Best Yakumo

Look, I found one who is taller, bustier, blonder and sexier.

>>12475296
>>12475302

>>12477730
>Ran
Aww, isn't she cute, she thinks that she's people.

>>12477975
oh yes!~ That is exactly how I like it!

>>12478027

>>12478073

>>12478080
yukari's FUCKING balls

>>12478114
One pair for fucking; another for loving.

The Onee-san Youkai.

>>12478128
stfu proREMIRIAt

>>12478158

>>12477975
What artist is this? Reverse image search turns up nothing.

>>12478213
Works for me.

>>12478221
nope, google reverse image search is what I'm using. Right click and search for image.

>>12477975
Yuugi is not elegant enough

>>12478225
Why there are so many technologically impaired people here?

>>12478225
Did you try the inline extension?

>>12478299
Everyone uses 4chan x or whatever it's called. It has something called namesync so I'm sure it's bad. Some guy on /g/ even made a reddit mod with an offsite counter for upvotes.

>>12478307
>Did you try the inline extension?
what? buzz off nerd, I browse 4chan classic.

>>12478375
Then source shall forever be lost to you. Delete your posts.

/g/ and saucefags go this thread is for fat old ladies only

>>12478587
You could make a case for Yukari being fat since she hibernates, assuming she doesn't use her powers to change anything, but there's no reason to say Yuyuko is fat.

>>12478608
She can slim it down quickly by having lots of sex in little time

>>12478617
Why would you let your waifu have lots of sex with random people

>>12478632
Who said random people?

>>12478637
I did.
You cant satisfy her by yourself, she's a greedy girl.

>>12478646
You speak as if from experience. This is, of course, impossible, as Yukari is MY wife and does not have sexual relations with anyone but ME.

>>12478663
Yukari needs 100 sinsacks to run a train on her and consumate the marriage with you.

>>12478672
>that doujinshi where the group of sacks invade Yukari's place

>>12478672
The only one who ran any trains during our honeymoon was her, and you know it.

>>12478158
I want Yukari onee-san to milk me dry with her expert handjobs while she arara~s

>>12478679

>>12478691
You are not deserving of her touch. Crawl back to your disgusting loli of a master and cry at her feet in shame.

>>12478691

>>12474670
Bitch, _I'm_ not 17 and I'm your past self.

"Money, hoes, and clothes, blunt smoke comin' out the nose, is all this nigga knows."
-Yukari Yakumo

>>12480446
"It's just like my girl Yuyu says, Mo' Money, Mo' Incidents."
-The Notorious Y.O.U.K.A.I. Album "Border After Life"

someone post the yucurry one

>>12480852
>>12475988

>>12480854
the other one

>>12480874
This one?

Wake up and find a loyalist as heck thread - no heresy in here

>>12478690

What doujin?

I want to plug her gaps.

But Yukari is basically Malal so aren't we heretics anyway?

>>12480941
http://exhentai.org/g/465386/ee903b1e02/

>>12476578
WELP.

>>12474886

Everyone looks like they are having a good time here except for pink and Ran. Why is Ran so angry? Is it because Yukari and Kanako are touching hips?

>>12481240
Ran isn't angry, she's just being watchful and projecting an air of professionalism. it's the same reason Secret Service agents and other professional bodyguards don't smile.

>>12481066
dat terminal velocity

>>12477500
Best 2hu.

>>12481240
That little Yuyuko has eyes on her bitch.

>>12481245

Also, she looks like she is about to put Yuuka in a headlock.

>>12483358
That artist does a really good job at making everything s/he draws really sexy

>>12483358
How do you people stand Yukari with this dress? She seriously looks like a damn harlot while wearing it. The other one is much more tasteful and highlights her mystique and personality as a woman better than the boobs-up-front one ever will.

I mean, I get that it's easy to draw and undress in porn but... dang son, she looks like an English whore from the industrial revolution era while wearing that thing.

>>12483447
The artist took some liberties with the neckline, you know. It's not normally that revealing.
I like the white outfit for the same reasons you mentioned, plus the fact that it looks super soft and fluffy and I just want to bury my face in it. However, the purple outfit is nice because of its simplicity, along with the fact that it includes THOSE GLOVES.

>>12483447
I always thought Yukari looked pretty in that outfit. She looks good in her "I'm gonna get shit done" outfit too though.

>>12483447
Purple dress is probably just a nightgown. She likes sleeping and is probably too lazy to change clothes, like Patchouli.

>>12483533

Yeah I love the low cut one. It's Yukari. She can wear whatever the hell she wants.

>>12480924
Man you got to love that Yukiko, and Yukari. espicially their yuyuko's, and yuyukari's.

>>12483447
Have you never unlocked Yukari in PCB? If she didn't have huge tits, you'd be looking at her navel. Don't blame fanartists, blame ZUN.

>>12483727
I didn't blame anybody, I said the dress is revealing and usually portrayed in an exaggerated manner.

And I could never finish PCB unfortunately. I'm terrible at videogames so I can never finish even the easiest of Touhou games. Which is a damn shame because I always wanted to play all of them. My idiotic pride forbids me from playing on anything lower than normal though.

>>12483741
Don't feel bad. I had to play on easy and use continues to beat PCB.

yukari

>>12483741
You could use Sakuya and bomb every card in the game.

PCB and MoF don't actually require you to dodge for 1ccs. There a damn no movement run of PCB, and I think it gets to Yuyuko.

>>12483871

>>12483895
>>12483871

Anon you need to slow down. I need a moment. Phew.

>>12483877
>There a damn no movement run of PCB, and I think it gets to Yuyuko
How does that even work?

Yukari a slut

Yukari's ball bra!

>>12484080
>Calling your Onee-sama a slut.
Anon...what are we going to do with you?

>>12484102
Trying so hard to be sexy she's wearing two slutty bathing suits.

>>12484191
I love the green eyes fakepucco puts on his Yukarin sometimes

>>12484012
Maybe he means the no-vertical run? For that matter, there's a no-vertical run of SoEW's extra stage.

>>12484012
Start with maximum lives, bomb whenever something comes close. And no, I misremembered, it was Stage 6 only. Still got to Resurrection Butterfly or something.

The full no movement run was IN and got to Stage 4.

>>12484102
>>12484334
Why is Yukarin trying too hard so cute?

>>12484553
It's beautiful

>>12484102
Reimu sure looks good in that picture. 10/10 would waifu

>>12484660
>no hip
>broad shoulders
Anon, I...

>>12484553
here's my best effort

>>12485005
Sweet image, dude.

>>12485011
thanks. I'll draw joints onto whatever 2hu you like

>>12485023
Yuuka please.

>>12481277
nerd

>>12485023
Koishi

>>12484553
I love those drawings, I don't know why. They're perfect.

>>12484741
Hm? Would you waifu her too?

>>12484741
>>no hip
What? There's a little bit of hip.

>>12485023
Patchouli smoking some patchouli!

>>12485126
working on koishi and yuuka. had a patchy already

>>12480504
"Thank you based Yukari"
- Lil' Y, "Trapped in ZUNworld"

>>12485030

>>12485059

>>12485154
Thanks man, I like it.

>>12485159

You can only have one.

>>12485211
Yuyuko. Took me a while to realize Byakuren was dressed up as Nazrin.

>>12485211
Chenkari

a freebie cause i was bored. i'll stop thread hijacking now

>>12485211
Swapping clothes with Suwako makes no sense in that context.

Well do ya, punk???

>>12485162
sure thing glad you like it

>>12485283
The only hag I love is Yukarin.

>>12485244
Would YOU wear Sanae's clothes. You don't know where they have been!

>>12485244
Are you stupid?

>>12485283
I do. Yuyuko is a qt. So is Youmu

>>12485384
That's a nice-looking Yuyu. Think she was second last time I did a 2hu sort.

>>12485418
>That gif.
>Knowning Yuyuko can fight your entire pelvis in her mouth.
Oh man...I need a moment. Phew...

Yuyuko's TEN TON GHOST ASS!!!

>>12485470
>Spending a nice day with Youmu at the beach.
I could die happy doing that.

>>12485476
Said Youmu when I meant Yuyuko. My mind went completely dead.

>>12485483
>My heart.

>>12485483
I like to imagine the noise she makes when she weightlessly falls over. Probably a soft, fluffy paff. It probably doesn't hurt because she's a ghost and weighs almost nothing.

>>12485506
I like to image the noise she makes as you gently kiss her neck, lock both your hands together, and spend the entire night with each other having sex & sweating like pigs in the sun.

>>12485523
Except you as a filthy human can't physically touch her can't touch her because she's a ghost. Your hands lips and dick would phase right through her.

>>12485506
Oh god, that amount of pantyhose, softness, and probable femdom, my dick is transcending dimensions again.

>>12485541
I have more if you're interested.

>>12485559
The ass was fat.

>>12485559
Alice is about to get femdommed, isn't she?

>>12485506
Eirin looks kind of like Rider there.

>>12485559
Me on the left.

>>12485564
Look at Yuuka's expression. That shouldn't even be a question.

>>12485572
>Them posters all over the room.
>Bya's expression.
I feel like rape is about to happen.

>>12485534
>Implying you' can't become a ghost.

Sunny Sanny makes two new friends!

>>12485559
Oh god yes.

>>12485605
I just need to jump in that pile and never come out, only inside.

>>12485476
That's a beautiful picture

>>12485496
You wouldn't even need to tie her up. You could talk Youmu into sleeping with you.

>>12485649
How so?

>>12485605
Onee-san titty heaven

>>12485861
She's a dork. You could probably corner her into doing anything. Probably.

>>12485866
please tell me you have more of these

I will go through hell, an entire army of Celestial's & Shikigami's, all of the employee's at the Dragon Palace, and Dragon himself just to be able to have a drink with these ladies even though my survival rate is literally -0% (Which is not even possible to have).

>>12485954
With luck all your opponents will be so impressed with your resolve they will let you through unscathed.

>>12485881
So you didn't actually think it through. That's just slander. Surely you can come up with something.

>>12485969
That's a nice joke. The Celestial's & Employee's of the Dragon Palace may do that. If I was never suppose to die in the first place the Shikigami's will leave me be, but Dragon...

He may crush me because he's the creator of Genosokyo, and I'm just a Outside human challenging him just to have a drink with some beautiful ladies.

>>12485954
I would gladly drink from Hijiri's tits

>>12485971
Oh, you wanted an actual plan? Well then, I'd just talk to her frequently and befriend her. Then after some time I'd ask her if she'd be willing to become my lover, and if she denies me I'd work hard and try to earn her love.

>>12485384
>>12485463
>>12485476
Them Yuyukos

>>12485559
Sup

>>12486056
It's cute how Youmu's scared of ghost

>>12486040
That was a good fap

MORE SEIGA

>>12486069
And it is canon, too.

>>12486095
This is probably one of my favorite pictures of Seiga

>>12486116
it's great isn't it

>>12486026
Cute, Anon. Sad, but cute. If you really want ectopussy, this is what you do:
Catch her while she's shopping for Yuyu's next meal and talk about cooking. Tell her about Outside cuisine and show off your culinary knowledge. (You CAN cook, right?) Get yourself invited to Hakugyokuro to cook.

At this point, you're pretty much home. Is she "easy?" No, but she's half-human, half-phantom, and has to fully experience both sides of her life. Dealing with the dead is her daily routine, and spending meaningful time with a passionate, vibrant person is a natural attractive force. Did I mention you need to be a good cook? You're going to be spending the night there, and Youmu will want a great desert to end her nightly patrol. Then, imagine the look on her face when she wakes up to breakfast in bed after her first night experiencing the more sensual aspects of the human condition.

No tricking or talking-into necessary.

>Posting evil hermit

Yukarin is the greatest!

>>12486122
Yup

>>12486131
I can microwave stuff, but I can't really cook...

>>12486358
Someone has been going to hypnohub.
Protip: hypnotic_breasts

>>12474770
As far I remember yes, other hand is if you stay alive, sane (or both) in the end of

>>12486131
>Applause
Great guide now write one for: Yuyuko, Rin, Eirin, Yukari, Byakuren, Eirin, and Miko & we will be set.

>>12487192
Yukari:

1. Enter Gensokyo.
2a. Be nice to cats.
2b. Follow cats.
3. Eventually you will find Mayohiga.
4. Befriend Chen.
5. Ask to meet Ran-sama and Yukari-sama.
6. When you do, greet Yukari-sama in her native R'lyehan tongue.
7. Befriend Yukari-sama.
8. While speaking to her over a meal (allow her to guide the conversation, but do not lie to her. She'll know), if you hear a soft, sensual, "ara ara~," it means she wants the D and you should move in for the kill.
9a. Have ravishing, physics-violating sex with her all day and all night long, and get invited on another date. Good end.
9b. Have ravishing, physics-violating sex with her all day and all night long, and then get eaten. Bad end, but at least you got some.

>>12488594
>Then get eaten.
...Don't care had sex. Now onto Mrs.Yuyu

>wanting to fuck an eldritch abomination
Enjoy having eye-tumours on your dick.

>>12488717
She's the second easiest of the bunch, and still isn't a cakewalk. The rest are nearly impossible, and I honestly don't know shit about Miko besides she's a man, baby. But, if you follow these steps, you can get yourself a ghost blowjob or ten.

You have to befriend Youmu to get into Hakugyokuro, but not to the point that she develops feelings for you. Yuyu's not into NTR. Once you're in, you'll have to have to flirt, hard. BUT, you must not have any intention of actually wanting to get in her pantsu. She is as sharp as she is old, and just like any other woman, the slightest hint of desperation will dry her up faster than Aya can fly. It's also not a good idea to offend someone who can kill you just by looking at you funny.

If you do it right, she just might phase into your room that night to see if you can resurrect her butterfly.

There isn't nearly enough Eirin in this thread.

>>12481330
Mah nig.
I love Seiga NyanNyan so much I want to hug her.

>>12489041
She has danmaku made of fetuses. It's on the wiki.

>>12488845
We can try to fix that

Damn muh heart mates.

>>12489178
Sorry anon, but the only Eirin pics I have are lewd ones. Hope that's okay. FWIW though I do like her a lot as a character.

>>12475296
i need the source, google and iqdb are useless

>>12489202
Use and enjoy, friend
http://exhentai.org/g/594568/e86d5eed69/

>>12489202
Danbooru - Tags: confession, touhou enjoy your 2hufu's.

>>12489216
Dat Keine ass, she's going to give birth to strong children

>>12489218
Bro all the 2hu girls are going to give birth to strong children as soon as an actual man who isn't Rinn pops up.

>>12489227
Dude, there are lots of men in 2hu, from male tengu to the people in the human village. And don't insult this thread by posting samples in it.

>>12489242
>Pic
Hnnnggg....

>There's always males around.
Anon we all know the truth about Gensokoyo.

>>12488845
>>12489134
>>12489178
>>12489184
Sure is million of years old lady around here.

>>12489242
>>12489280
Ara Ara

>>12489428

>>12489428
The saddest thing about multiple realities existing is that you are currently living in the one where you are not married & sleeping with these beautiful ladies. Damn you creator.

>>12489451
I really want to cuddle those cold, soft and squishy ghost titties

>>12489428
>>12489483
Soft... I really like these
Why are girls like this so great

>>12489532
Because they don't exist

>>12489544
Yes they do, a lot of girls are soft. And they're just like >>12489483

>>12489041
>NyanNyan~

>>12488818
>Befriend Youmu to the point of letting k ng her inviting you to the residence without her falling in love with you. (Befriending her is easy, trying to make her not fall for me just for her to invite me to her home is hard & random as she might or might not.)
>Flirt hard without signs of wanting to get in her pantsu. (Hardest part)
>Happy ending.

Great guide with two easy steps. So sad nobody have any others for the ladies.

>>12490331
I made a foolproof one for Yukarin already, man

>>12489451
Multiple universes is pretty unlikely but I can content myself with knowing there are septillions of stars out there and one of them is statistically likely to contain 2hus.

>>12490579
Planet of the Touhous.

It was Earth, allll alloooong.

>>12490592
>It was earth.
Sad.

>>12490755
Praising that beutiful God until she sleeps with you, or at least gives you a hug.

>>12484400
Vid or it didn't happen.

>>12490755
>>12490767
She's a goddess of war. It might be tough to sleep with her.

>>12490896
She's primarily an agricultural god, though

>>12490928
Still best Goddess. She might not be as fertile as Suwako, since Suwako is a earth and curses goddess. Earth gods are usually linked to fertility.

>>12490896

Aya chan...what happened?

>>12491002
Gaps happened.

>>12490896
>Implying humans aren't God of war themselves
We spend majority of our time trying to figure out how Maim and kill each other.

>>12491379
Humanity as a whole, sure, but I can't remember the last time I killed or even maimed somebody.

>>12491454
That's what I'm referring to humanity as a whole.

HAGS. This thread is about HAGS.

>>12491837
>Snake came out her mouth.
>Has a pretty good idea how good she throat things.

Damn it how much does a plane ticket to Genosokyo cost because I want to go on a long adventure that results in me becoming a vegabond, and hopefully finding love in an old 1000+ qt hag who would make me a better man.

>>12491908
Vegabond? That some kind of organic glue?

>>12491911
>Typo "Vagabond"
Old hags in school girl uniforms. Phew...I need a moment.

Slow hag thread.

>>12493893
Living hag thread. We don't have these nearly enough, it has to stay alive.

I want to go gensokyo and smell the smell the Yuuka makes