/jp/ - Otaku Culture

This famous judge never refused to hear a complaint, even if it seemed strange or unreasonable. People sometimes came to her court with the most unusual cases, but Eiki always agreed to listen. And the strangest case of all was the famous case of the Stolen Smell.

It all began when a poor student rented a room over a tempura shop – a shop were fried food could be bought. The student was a most likable young man, but the shopkeeper was a miser who suspected everyone of trying to get the better of him. One day he heard the student talking with one of his friends.

“It is sad to be so poor that one can only afford to eat plain rice,” the friend complained.

“Oh,” said the student, “I have found a very satisfactory answer to the problem. I eat my rice each day while the shopkeeper downstairs fries his fish. The smell comes up, and my humble rice seems to have much more flavor. It is really the smell, you know, that makes things taste so good.”

The shopkeeper was furious. To think that someone was enjoying the smell of his fish for nothing! “Thief!” he shouted. “I demand that you pay me for the smells you have stolen.”

“A smell is a smell,” the young man replied. “Anyone can smell what he wants to. I will pay you nothing!”

Scarlet with rage, the shopkeeper rushed to Eiki’s court and charged the student with theft. Of course, everyone laughed at him, for how could anyone steal a smell? Eiki would surely send the man about his business. But to everyone’s astonishment, the judge agreed to hear the case.

“Every man is entitled to his hour in court,” she explained. “If this man feels strongly enough about his smells to make a complaint, it is only right that I, as the city magistrate, should hear the case.” She frowned at the amused spectators.

Gravely, Eiki sat on the dais and heard the evidence. Then she delivered her verdict.

“The student is obviously guilty,” she said severely. “Taking another person’s property is theft, and I cannot see that a smell is different from any other property.”

The shopkeeper was delighted, but the student was horrified. He was very poor, and he owed the shopkeeper for three months’ smelling. He would surely be thrown into prison.

“How much money have you?” Eiki asked him.

“Only five mon, Honorable Honor,” the boy replied. “I need that to pay my rent, or I will be thrown out into the street.”

“Let me see the money,” said the judge.

The young man held out his hand. Eiki nodded and told him to drop the coins from one hand to the other.

The judge listened to the pleasant clink of the money and said to the shopkeeper, “You have now been paid. If you have any other complaints in the future, please bring them to the court. It is our wish that all injustices be punished and all virtue rewarded.

“But, most Honorable Honor,” the shopkeeper protested, “I did not get the money! The thief dropped it from one hand to the other. See! I have nothing.” He held up his empty hands to show the judge.

Eiki stared at him gravely. “It is the court’s judgment that the punishment should fit the crime. I have decided that the price of the smell of food shall be the sound of money. Justice has prevailed as usual in my court.”

Please sit on my face, Shiki-sama!

>>12104076

>>12104076
Do you think Shiki-sama will send me to hell for thinking lewd thoughts involving her?

>>12104087
I hope so.
I feel very ashamed for my lewd thoughts and hope that I will suffer in hell for all of eternity for not being able to control this monster inside me

>>12104074
Whoa

Sicky icky!

Nice little story. Did you write that?

>>12104074
>>12104076
The contrast in posts is amazing.

>>12104087
She'd be pretty upset, but I don't think lewd thoughts are a sin. So no.

>>12104534
Does thinking about holding her hand count as lewd thoughts?

>>12104650
Of course not. How would it?

>>12104733
Because I would be touching Eiki-sama's body.

>>12104740
Touching someone isn't lewd in and of itself. There's more to it than that.

OP wanted a dignified Shikieiki thread and you all ruined it with lewdness.

Shameful.

>>12104895
The rest of the thread doesn't live up, but it's not very lewd. Especially not as lewd as many Eiki threads.

>>12104895
I'm sorry, I just can't control myself around her.

>>12104906
I suspect you're not trying as hard as you could be.

Please do not sexualize The Yama.

sexy jizo

>>12105938
Holy shit. What happened?

Who would win a sword fight, Sakuya, Youmu or Yama?

>>12106022
What Eiki Shiki carries isn't a sword, it's a family/ancestral tablet.

>>12106033
Dunno, looks like a sword with runes all over it to me.

>>12106043
The Rod of Remorse? It's a little chunk of wood, how is it a sword?

>>12106050
Maybe in fan art, I see it has a crossguard that makes it look like a wooden magic sword.

>>12106055
Not seeing it. Post this guard.

>>12106060
Never mind, no guard, I guess it's the triangular edge that makes me think that it's a sword.

>>12104092
But as long as you only think about it, the monster inside you is under control.

>>12106050
>Wood

It looks metal, but not sharp.

>>12106063
>>12106220
It really looks like a sword in those pics.

>>12104076
Yes please!

My favorite 2hu

>>12106299
Get on your knees and beg!

>>12106022
>Sakuya
>Sword

>>12106022
Yumeko is the sword maid, not Sakuya.

>>12106475
a knife is some kind of mini-sword

>>12106560
That's a bad argument and it doesn't change the fact that there exists a proper sword-wielding maid already, though.

>>12106614
cute crossdressing boys that are asleep are my fetish, i wanna hug that boy

>>12106668
Eiki isn't a boy. Get the HELL outta here

The yama probably works too much overtime.

>>12104072
Primary fan
>>12104076
Secondary fan

>>12107786
Since when does writing shitty fanfictions make you a primary?

>you will never replace that lazy airhead big chested Komachi and being the bringer of souls and hanging out with Icky Sicky every days

>>12107810
Damn right you won't.

>>12107810

I would never want to replace milady death.

>>12107814
Does her stick have a camera in it like a phone?
nice!

>>12108328
Wow the Rod grows big.

>>12104072
>>12104074
That was a nice little story.

>>12104069