/jp/ - Otaku Culture

2poor4food

eww sprinkles

My fucking bread will not rise because I am not using a fancy floaur that is only soldto stores. So i got depressed because I wanted to make tasty bread and instead I get edible chocolate flavored bricks.

you can do better than that

>>11330376
>not the danmaku of baking ingredients

which touhou would you eat

>>11330391
Mystia

>>11330385
I'm sure you can bake bread without needing anything "fancy".

>>11330395
Yes, you can bake bread, but it won't rise. I knead, and knead, and add the yeast, knead some more, let it rise for hours, but it will stay like that with no change.

All I wanted was to make some bread, but my hopes were dashed against the rocks of futility.

>>11330416
Do you seriously think that it's more likely that it's impossible to bake bread in your home than that you fucked up?

>>11330416

>>11330428
There are several kinds of flour, anon. The one needed to make bread is called hard wheat flour, instead of the pastry flour that is commonly sold.

Of course I am fucking up because the flour needed fro bread is not sold in any stores where I live.

>>11330360
That looks delicious.

>>11330460

>>11330483
are you a fatNEET?

Can I come over?

>>11330484
No, a friend helped me make and eat it.

>>11330491
fuck off normalscum

>>11330447
>>11330416
>pastry flour

Pastry flour's made out of wheat. Besides you have it ass backwards, normal all-purpose flour is the typical shit you will buy, 'pastry flour' is some kind of 'fancy' thing.

I bake bread all the time.

>knead, and knead, and add the yeast, knead some more

Te fug? You add all the dry ingredients, add the water, then knead it. What are you doing adding yeast after that?

Bread is impossible to fuck up, you can literally throw any non-retarded ratio of yeast, flour, and water into a bowl, barely even knead it, wait 3 hours, bake it, and have edible bread.

>>11330490
only if you bring your own 2hu cake to share

>>11330493
see pic

>>11330484
>posting a cake on /jp/
>not fatNEET

You shouldn't have to ask this.

>>11330483
Who's the ass in the background OP? Looking good

>>11330499
He's a normalfaggot
Look at the pants in that picture, he said "friend" to hide that he has a gf

>>11330502
>>11330517
that's my sister

>>11330523
Nudes?

I have no one to eat my sweets

I can't eat them myself because diabetic

>>11330543
fatNEET for hire here
I'll eat whatever you don't want
then again if I do that will I still be a NEET

>>11330535
>being interested in 3d girls

>>11330552
>le 3dpd meme
Back to /a/, normie.

>>11330554
/jp/ has never liked 3D, homo. Back to /b/.

>>11330566
epik troole fugg :DDD

>>11330554
he might be /a/ but you sound like you're from a douchebag board like /fit/ or /sp/
I'll take /a/ anytime over those

>>11330572
XD

>>11330574
Sorry for not catering to your normalfag emotions. I actually come from ebaumsworld. Only oldfags will know this one so dont even bother replying, newfriend.

>>11330584
cool, me too, lel. Epic response brah XD

>>11330360
I buy my cakes from the supermarked, bought a marble cake and yeast-risen with poppy seeds (i hope that's the proper english name for it) for this week #TeaAndCakeHype

/jp/sies ought to start mailing each other baked goods again. i trust a bunch of weirdo NEET strangers enough to not poison me.

>>11331271
I bet he came in those cookies

>>11330566
What about milk?

>>11331455
don't ever bring that up again.

>>11331271
No, you and your /soc/ buddies can go fuck yourselves.

I love when obvious crossboarders post stupid shit like >>11330566.

I swear I'm from /jp/ guys! Accept me!

go back to your main board, nerd (that's >>>/a/ I bet)

>>11331486
Idolfags can't be friends with me, sorry

>>11331486
Yeah, /jp/ was always really accepting of idol threads :)

It's not like they've only stopped being a war zone because the mods have made trying to push them off the board futile.

Just because you want to be a slave doesn't mean everyone else on /jp/ has to be.

>>11331455
Don't say that name anon... I'm warning you...

Its like Lord Voldemort in Hairy Pooter. Its cursed, evil, malicious. Just don't.

>>11331571
milk milk milk milk milk milk milk

>>11330360
I don't have a Touhou to cook for and I can't cook.

caek is a lie XD

>>11330491
>>11330493

As much as I like this thread, OP is indeed a normalfag and that just ruins everything for me.

>>11330584 epic rek bro
>>11330614 actually buying things from the food library and not living on a homestead being farmerNEET
>>11331471 truREK
>>11331504 idoru is core /jp/. Deal with it.
>>11331580 I'm going to inherit property in the town she lives in KEKS amirite?
>>11331581 I'll be your Touhou. I've watched all the Touhou animu and I know exactly what to do.

>>11331648
You can be banned for ironic shitposting anon. Meido can request bans I suggest you mind your behavior.

>>11331652
Normal pls. Janny knows that I'm genderqueer bicurious pan-vampire bat transromantic for xir.

>>11331648
If you farm for the majority of your food you are not NEET, you are a subsistence farmer.

You can have an herb garden or something but once you start growing staple foods like potatoes and corn you are a farmer.

GTFO normie

>>11331668
The fuck is a pan-vampire? Can you turn twigs into undead beings or something? WTF dude

>>11331673
>Every hobby besides VNs, video games, anime, and porn is for normal scum.

>>11331701
I said an herb garden was fine. I hobby gardener =/= full time farmer.

Learn to comprehend what you are reading, mr meme arrow

>>11331701
>>11331673
subsistence farmerNEET is truNEET

>>11331677
Smelly dumb cis scum! Did you even your estrogen pills today?

>>11331709
>subsistence farmerNEET is truNEET

Nope. You have a full time 3rd world job, son. Deal with it

>>11331708
You don't have to farm full time for subsistence. Winters are the time for maximum easy. Plus, you get farmerbux from the govt.

>>11331718
It's cute how hard you are trying but you are still wrong.

I love cooking and all but don't have an oven ;_;

>>11331725
>don't have an oven

how is this even possible. even if you are off the grid you can still build a word burning oven with stove top

>>11331715
>>11331723
Are you sure you're not a normal who gets payed to sit at a desk and shitpost 95% of the time? Because you sure sound like it. Lots of these ``1st world jobs'' are entirely overrated in terms of improving the mind. Farmering, on the other hand, is relaxing.

Seed plantan.
Veggie wateran.
Fruit pickan.
Egg gatheran.

It's the easy life.

>>11331729
This anon gets it. Cavemen were the first hikis.

>>11331718
Damn FDR wasting my tax money.

>>11331677

>>11330360
I did a few times

>>11331745
fukken saved

A lot of jpsies are NEETs. NEETs can have friends it doesnt make them non jpsies. Hikkis can't have friends though.

I'm not NEET or Hikki, but I don't have friends. Guess that just me makes me a loser?

>>11331730
It's still a job. We are arguing semantics here.

I have no problem with people farming or working on a commune or whatever the fuck makes them happy. I'm just saying you aren't truNEET if you do.

>>11331754
I have a college degree, a car, a well paying job, and a lot of friends, what does that make me?

>>11331757
A guy who sucked a lot of cock.

>>11331757

>>11331729
I live in an unfurnished house and don't get enough money to afford one. I can't even get a government furniture grant thing either for some stupid reason.
The only things I have are a microwave (mum bought me a cheap one) and a fridge (mum's old one).

It'd be cool to start up a fire but I live next to a road and don't have a back or front garden. This house sucks! If you're able to, keep living in your parent's/whatever's house and take full advantage of your working appliances and whatnot.

>>11331754
What makes you say hikkikomoris can't have friends? It's completely possible to have online friends, or friends from before you became a hikki and they come to your house.

>>11331771
Have you considered suicide?

>>11331776
Hikkikomoris have such social anxiety they wouldn't use the Internet to talk to people.

>>11331779
Yes but I'm lazy and don't have the balls to do it.

>>11331782
I was actually that hikki at one point. I remember the first time I went into IRC. I ended up exiting and immediately puking in the trashcan in my room

>>11331771
i'm a NEET and i live in a 2 room apartment that was recently remodeled and all the appliances are new
get some NEETbux, d00d

>>11331271
I've offered to send baked goods to anyone from /jp/ but instead I had to go out and find a loli and become comfortable enough with her where I won't feel weird giving her baked goods. I gave her some brownies a few days ago and some scones before that. We've baked some chocolate chip cookies together too.

I really want to make some spiral cookies for her but they're a bit labor intensive so I'll do it one day when I wake up early. You missed out, /jp/.

>>11331785
Well... I'll be honest, your situation sucks but you can take comfort in the fact that you aren't a normie.

>>11331786
When I first came to 4chan, I used to delete my posts when other people replied to them because of shame and embarrassment.

>>11331792
Interesting. I never did that but I would leave if people started approving a post I made because I didn't want to fuck up something good.

This was when I only posted on /b/. /b/ actually helped me come out of shell a lot. Being able to post anonymously and know everyone is trolling everyone was quite liberating in its own unique way

Hmmm... I bake chocolate chip cookies for my family and close relatives (Aunt and cousins mainly). What would be a good way to incorporate a touhou theme?

Anyone have experience making their own cookie cutters? Shaping each one individually is a pain in the ass, and I would be too tempted to make something complex and ruin the batch. If it spreads too much or not enough you end up with half-burnt/half-raw cookies. My dad actually likes them that way. Mostly burnt but with a doughy center. What a weirdo!

>>11332005
Cool story, bro. Keep us posted!

>>11332025
I'm asking for advice. If you want to be entertained by stories pls go somewhere else. Thank you.

>>11330447
lol america is so fucked up

>>11330416
I cant tell if you're retarded or just ignorant.

Skin temperature water, Add your yeast. let it sit a little. add eggs if using. Combine salt, flour, other dry goods. 3/4ths of dry goods go into the liquids, mix till nothing sticks to the edge of the bowl, add in your fat (if using) then the last 1/4th of your dry goods.

Knead it, let it sit in a warm place, covered, till nearly doubled in size.

bake it.


>>11330385
Italian bread is only four ingredients.

Flour, Salt, Water, Yeast.

You dont need anything fancy.

Did you add water?

The yeast needs water to grow.

>>11330447
stop pretending to know things when you have no idea what you're talking about please.

Yes, there are many kinds of flour. AP/HR flour is more than enough for a beginner to make anything needed. The only time you have to have either High Gluten flour or Bread Flour is if you're adding things like nuts or substituting in whole wheat flour, or rye for part of the total flour weight, because you need the extra gluten and gliadins to hold the dough together during the rising and oven spring stages. Cake flour (softer wheat flours) are unusable for bread because of the low gluten content, leading to blowouts during hte oven spring.

If you're making an ordinary chocolate loaf, then AP is more than enough. You dont need anything fancy, you're just doing something very wrong in the process. (yeast needs to be activated in warm (not hot) water, for example, which is something you didnt do.)

The hardness of flours also varies between brands. For example, King Arthur's All Purpose is made out of much harder wheat than average, and White Lily uses a much softer wheat than usual. even though both are technically "AP" flours.

Pastry flour is something completely different from AP, by the way. Pastry is harder to find than even cake flour in most circumstances, so I have no idea why you think it''s commonly sold. Most of what you see on shelves is All Purpose.

For comparison, Cake and pastry flours are around 8% protein, AP's around 10%, and bread is up in the 12% range on average. These can vary. but those are the general guides.

>>11330385
You cover the dough in a towel.

>>11330385
If you use all purpose flour, you need to kneed it twice as much.

>>11332169
not neccessarily. It's hard to overknead bread by hand, but too much kneading will make the dough very tough. 8-10 minutes is the most you ever need to knead. If you're using fat, then you also need to do the kneading before you add that in or else you're wasting your time.

>>11332157
Thank you, that's good to know.

i didn't know that bread otakus were a thing.

>>11332198
not bread otaku, bread baking otaku

anyone can buy and consume bread... it takes dedication to bake your own delicious loaves

>>11331776

A lot of people seem to get hikkis confused. They don't all shun people necessarily, they shun society in general or they don't want to work. They often have turbonerd friends to.

I don't know how to cook things.

>>11332198
I'm a culinary otaku in general. Although, bread baking was my primary focus in culinary school.

Sugoi

>>11332229
Get a load of this nerd. Why are u posting outside of /ck

>>11332198
Are you kidding me? Bread is a great thing to immerse yourself in. There are tons of different recipes and techniques you can use to make bread. Go on Warosu and search on /ck/ for a guy named Fuck Flour !yyeastzlE6 who seems like a bread otaku.

>>11333606
Good bread dipped in good olive oil is the greatest thing ever. This bread in your pic makes me jizz.

>>11333606
i love fresh baked bread too, but i can't affort it because a whole bread is way too much for just myself and i would have to throw half of the bread away if it gets moldy, thowing food away always makes me sad

>>11333603
I dont like /ck/. I also have more interests than just one topic.

>>11333836
Isn't it cheaper to make bread than to buy it? Just use the older bread for french toast or croutons or something.

Cooking is for fags and woman

>>11335330
I don't think so, it's probably more expensive compared to a bakery and on top of that my oven isn't good enough for things like bread because it can only target 180 °C and is very small.

>>11330360
worst 2hu gets the worst cake

>>11335964
what the hell are you on.

Flour is like five dollars for a bag of it. Water is free. Yeast is cheap as hell too.

that makes a lot more loaves than what you're buying for 1-5 dollars a pop.

>>11337825
>Water is free.
somebody's never heard of water bills.

>>11337825
the lion's share of the costs is the time and effort you have to put in making the loaf and of course the power for the oven

>>11331771
You can buy a hot plate for really cheap.

>>11339462
Who is the guy quoting?

>>11339466
The poster above him.

>>11339476
nice, japs are just like weebs

>>11339462
Can you give us a link to that thread?

>>11339530
http://dec.2chan.net/55/res/1487731.htm

>>11339541

I wish /jp/ could teach me how to cook things.

>>11340046
You buy cake mix from the store and follow the directions.

>>11340046
There are literally hundreds of recipes on the Internet. All you have to do is google one.

>>11340062
I google'd one and I'm not seeing any recipes, dude.

My first bread, it looks kinda pathetic. I haven't put memes on the top because i'm not dorky. #breadotaku

>>11340457
are those roach cockses

>>11340472
it's a pumpkin seed bread, my favorite bread