/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>What ritual would please YOU?

Take a guess.

>What ritual would please YOU?

I would require no rites. Only justice.

Lots of virgin sacrifices.

I'm kind of surprised that most old religion gods demanded wierd shit like burnt slaughtered animals, old vegetables and glorified begging (prayer) when and if gods were caricatures of human beings then they would want more earthly things like fugging at the temple to appease them.

Blood sacrifice.

>>11201175
Edgy.

Unless by blood you mean virgins tearing their hymens at your altar, then it would be okay.

Daily masturbation in front of my altar

>>11201165
Actually, Artemis had whore-priestesses, and women were required to "attend" to such worship at least once in their lives.

And lets not forget the Bacchanal.

>>11201178
Not so, friend. I look at it this way, if you keep asking for mundane things like material wealth or fugging eventually someone is going to catch on to the idea that you might not actually be a god.

Think in the long term, it's fine to ask for sex, but you have to accompany it with blood sacrifice or burnt offerings and other obscure shit. Why does a god want that crap? Who knows, a god is unknowable. Keep up the mystery, maintain the facade.

I don't need silly rituals. I just want everyone to smile and be happy.

>>11201197
We already have Jesus for that

>>11201195
In my opinion, nothing flexes the divinity muscle better than applying knowledge on the inner works of the universe. The brutes have no idea how it actually functions, only you.

That's what makes you a god: You are completely over their tiny minds.

>>11201197
Are you Sanae?

>>11201199

That's good, I'm not much of a god anyways, I'm just a silly person.

>>11201208

I'm not a cute girl sadly.

>>11201165
There was a time when Judaism had temple prostitutes a part of its services. It's mentioned in the bible.

>>11201139
Fairy sacrifices. Daily sacrifices, yearly sacrifices, holiday sacrifices, penance scarifies. Mayan level stuff, all of fairies. Also large breasts are heresy and will be removed amazon style. Pixy dust for the pixy dust god, titties for the titty throne.

Offering of fruits on my altar during midnight.

Food. Copious amounts of food.

Chinese food and asian meals to be exact.

If they brought me that id surely grant any wish

Sacrifices of food, housing and free internet.

On the summer solstice, roll a d20 and consult the List of Fun Stuff To Do:
1. 500 pushups.
2. Punch yourself in the stomach while singing a hymn, preferably "There's a tavern in the town".
3. Roll again, three is a terrible number.
4. Kiss the first person you see.
5. Punch the first person you see.
6. Roll around in glass screaming at the top of your lungs.
7. Eat anyone who rolled a 6 after they preform their duty.
8. FREE DRINK!
9. Hug Cirno.
10. Hug Cirno from behind.
11. Craft something out of toothpicks.
12. Find some way to get high. Get high.
13. Rape anyone who rolled a 12 while they're tripping.
14. Make some steamed pork buns and offer them to me by eating them as messily as possible and making sexy noises.
15. Cheese.
16. Burn incense.
17. Meditate for the rest of the day.
18. Masturbate for the rest of the day.
19. Pretend you are a duck for the rest of the day.
20. Join the rest of the lucky followers in a massive orgy.

>>11201139
That would actually be a good explanation of who the unnamed god of the Hakurei Shrine is.

>>11201157
Young_Richard_Matthew_Stallman.jpg

>>11201139
>What ritual would please YOU?
gibe lolis or i'll hex u

>>11201343
Yukari of course

BEER FOR THE BEER GOD

Any couple that wishes to fug in my village must do their first fug at my temple secretly. Once they do so they receive my blessings but must never fug in my temple again. Any non-virgin who fugs in my temple will be cursed.

>>11201139

Once every year, on the day of the Summer Solstice, my followers must congregate at the nearest church of my religion and hold a local anime convention. The first copies of any doujins, cds, games, whatever that are released at that convention must be set upon my altar and are kept in the treasury as a sacrifice. Of course, whatever city would be my version of Rome would have the biggest convention, and the most extravagant celebrations and events.

all mature 2hus turn in futas and they start masturbating and cumming in a goblet/chalice then, all lolis 2hus should drink of it.

>>11201382
why is shirou so slutty

>>11201157
pretty much this
in the capital where I reside,
>>11201144
>>11201154
though no lolis would be involved
but I might end up settling down with a waifu, so maybe not

>>11201207
>technologically advanced pretending to be a god
Goa'uld detected

No sex before marriage, and when you get married I have to fuck the bride first.

I will give them guidelines and advices like how a good God should do.

But I have to get all the protections from the heretics and get all I needed to have a nice NEET life. Kind of like Amaterasu.

Also, I have to get turned into a little girl.

>>11201165
I think it's because burnt slaughtered animals, old vegetables, and glorified begging are all pretty cheap. A very human desire is the desire not to give away all your nice shit.

I'd rather be a youkai or a bourei

I don't work well under public pressure and being in a position as high as a god means that I'd probably be expected to fulfill prayers n shit. Why can't I just fly around in complete obscurity, without a care in the world except to pursue my own goals?

>>11201207
/sci/ here. I'm okay with this.

>>11201332
I hope you didn't take the time to write all that out.

injecting their veins with heroin, then offering me their blood so i can shoot their heroin tainted blood into my own veins, becoming one. becoming the same

I would be deity of bad ideas, lost causes, and sunk cost. You can ask for the courage to see anything through to the end, even if its a bad idea.

Grave sins would include throwing away food.

What if 2hus have an imageboard in gensokyo where they post cute picutres of all of us and have us as husubandos, and they call us 3hus (because we're 3d) and they have discussions about which 3hu would they fuq

>>11213102
I like you
will you be my friend?

>>11213102
I would like to see some of my own fanart

>>11213102
They'd be saying how ugly we are and that 2D is better than 3D

>>11213102
But eventually it would get to the point where ero doujinshi shipping us together would be made...

and it would be fucking awesome

>>11213122
In which you being raped.

Yeah I want to see mine too.

Painting volunteers in blue, dissect them and pull out the heart, and raise it to the sun on a plate so the world doesn't end. I want to keep it traditional, ya know. It'll teach them about responsibility and generosity.

>>11213511
It stopped and the world doesnt end.

baka.

>>11213519
And then their civilization died and they got fucked by invaders. That's what you get for forgetting the rules.

>>11203244
I'd marry ugly girl with STDs just to piss you off. You can't get away with this one, divine rules are absolute!