/jp/ - Otaku Culture

of course she is now your mother

Can i fuck her?

>>10007982
Keine. She'd be a caring mother. And then, I'd have a chance with Mokou.

I'd have to be a youkai half breed?

Yuyucow

Byakuren Hijiri. Such a charming lady, I'd love to have her as my mother. And I'd jump on her any time.

>>10007990
depends if she allows it

if this implies she's an impure slut, no deal. if I'm conceived miraculously, then absolutely Byakuren. hopefully before she's sealed away so I can rescue her.

>>10008025
Rinnosuke is the father.

The choice between Yukari, Eirin, and Yuuka is tough.

I think I'd go Eirin though.

>>10007990
you can't impregnate your mother

I like all of them, but probably Yuugi. While the other kids would be drinking warm milk and playing with sticks I would be bench-pressing rocks and building my alcohol tolerance

Kanako

Kanako.

Wait, do you emerge as a snake egg if Kanako births you, or is it the usual mammal way?

>>10007982
shinki is a better mom

yukarin~

>>10008039
Says who?
I take Kanako

>>10008039
Oh yeah? Says who?

Yuyuko, she is like my real mom anyway..

Tough choice, real tough. I'd really like to learn from Byakuren though.

Komachi!
Slacking off is awesome!

...hmm, I really need to get some stuff done today...ah well, I'll do it tomorrow!

>>10008137
Sorry, I forgot to make dinner. Will do it tomorrow, I promise!

>>10008155
Good thing there's someone around to make lazy asses get back to work.

Iku. If I am going to be a little girl, I'd like to learn my manners from a proper lady.

>>10008137
>>10008155
>>10008164

Komachi is not lazy. Komachi moves at her own pace, with nothing able to make her rush even if the situation calls for it.

On the other hand, Iku is the only Touhou character explicitly called lazy.

>>10008164
Imagine if Komachi had a child but was lazy and slacked off with just about everything in properly raising and taking care of a child and Shikieiki was forced to step in and properly take care of it.

And then she slowly gets attached to the child as she raises him into the perfect man and even commits the ultimate sin of starting a forbidden relationship with him. She knows a Yama should know better, but she can't help herself!

Do I retain my memories of my current life?

I mean, it might not be reasonable to remember them as a baby, but perhaps it could be something I'm vaguely aware of since birth, and then gradually start to remember as I grow up, eventually remembering all of it.

I don't want to lose the knowledge I've obtained.

Yakumo-sama.

>>10008181
what is yuka doing there?

Only choices would be Yukari, Keine or Yuuka

>>10008181
THREE TITS, THREE TITS!

One Yuuka please~

Eirin

Wanna know why?

>>10007982
What does it mean when japs draw someone with actual slanty eyes, like Yuugi here?

Yuyuko. Youmu would be my nanny. She could teach me how to sword fight.

What happened to the touhoumon thread?

>>10007982
Yuuka because girls come from flowers.

>>10008382
It means Yuugi is either Chinese or Korean,

>>10008349
You wanna suck her titties? Or make incestuous love to Reisen.

>>10008393
He wants her to peg him.

>>10007982
Easy, Yuugi. That way I can be an Oni.

>>10008402
Can I call you Oni-chan ?

>>10008173
That's what being lazy is when you have a job.

>>10008406
Yes.

>>10008407

Komachi usually gets all the work she needs to do, done.
Problems only arise when her workload spikes for whatever reason (such as the soul phenomenon every 60 years) and she doesn't pick up the pace to compensate. Her job is full and well completed otherwise.

>>10007993
That actually takes away your chances I would say. If she hangs around helping Keine raise you then you would be like a son to her too so she wouldn't fuck you.

Meiling would be a great mom.
Even if I'm born into servitude to the Scarlet house, it'd be worth it.

>>10008426
He'd get an awesome mother figure though.

>>10008495
Then you can have a touching moment when you're of age where Meiling confronts Remilia about releasing you from servitude so you can go follow your dreams. Meiling comes back slightly injured and tells you that you have to go but go fast. You shed a tear saying that you don't want to but she says you must or you will be killed. After one last embrace you tell her that you'll be back to visit her some day but she says it's better that you don't. With that you run off promising yourself that you'll be back one day strong enough to kill the master of the mansion and free your mother.

>>10008499
Or father figure at least since Keine seems to be the girlier of the two.

>>10008505
Now now, let's not get all violent here.
Remi just wanted to keep her precious servant's child safe in the mansion. There are all sorts of threats outside, like vicious shrine maidens and trigger-happy witches. It's no place for someone in their late teens.

>>10008526
Or the perfect place for one to be if you want a shounen manga setting.

>>10008523
I'm sure Mokou can be girly if she wants to.

>>10008505
>>10008527
Sounds exciting. I'LL TAKE IT

Do you get any abilities based on who you choose

I'm torn between Byakuren and Yukari.

Also, wouldn't you be born dead if you chose Yuyuko? There's probably a really offensive dead baby joke in there somewhere but I'm too lazy to make it.

>>10008078
This is important.

>>10008526
>outside of SDM
>dangerous
>inside of SDM
>safe

Holy fuck. Someone's either ridiculously blind or ridiculously stupid. My money's on vampiric hypnosis!

>>10008557
I'm guessing you'd be born a half-youkai/god/ghost/lunarian/magician/shinigami, with everything that implies.

>>10008531
Great. Now you must travel around Gensokyo learning from all of the youkai and assembling a crew to take on SDM.

>>10008574
>inside of SDM
>safe
Well, I'm guessing it'll be pretty safe, actually.
Meiling's the caring mother.
Remilia's not bloodthirsty enough to go after children and might actually get attached.
Sakuya's about the same.
Patchouli and Koakuma couldn't care less as long as you won't make a mess in the library.
The only real threat to your existence would be Flandre if she gets all jelly for monopolizing Meiling.

>>10008596
Sounds like a blast.
>assembling a crew
I think I've got that down already. After all, I have you guys....Right?

>>10008613
Yes, the other half youkai bastards of Gensokyo. They will help you on your quest for one reason or another!

>>10008613
Fine, I'll help you out, but there better be booze after we're done!

>>10008624
This is starting to sound like an epic story.
But I think we'd need more opposition than just SDM.
Well, I'm sure there's a plausible way to get everyone in Gensokyo involved for one reason or another.
Are you ready for an epic adventure spanning 500+ manga chapters?!

>>10008639
Hell yes. Meiling's kid is another party member as we go on our quest to wreck the corrupted Dragon god and his minions to bring him back to his senses or something.

>>10008651
Yes, bring him back to his senses.
WITH MY FISTS

Why does no one choose Yukari?

Becoming the offspring of the strongest and wisest youkai around is a pretty good bonus, plus even if she's sleeping all the time you would have Ran as a replacement mother and Chen for an older sister.

Definitely this is the only sensible choice.

>>10008663
But what about adventure?

>>10008663
But I want to have super strength and an alcoholic mom that will push me to become a harder man when I grow up.

>>10008671
You won't need it because you are the second to last boss because Yukari was behind the whole thing

Yuuka

I want to be a cute man eating flower youkai.

Yuyuko

So I can have my very own Myon.

>>10008663
It would also be a very boring choice since mama Yukari, Ran and Chen won't ever let you out of their sight. Enjoy Mayohiga all day every day.

Alternatively, Yukari might just avoid all the responsibilities completely by gaping you right into an orphanage or something.

>>10008663

I guess it's because it's hard to imagine Yukari as being a nurturing figure.

>>10008680
Not much different from NEET lifestyle.

And I don't think she would completely disregard her own child, and then again there's always Ran.

>>10008683
She would just dump you off on her nanny and you can learn fox-speak or something.

>>10008680
That doesn't sound too bad. I'd love to grow up spending every second of my life with them.

I want to be Satori's child.

>>10008663

I love Yukari.

But she would be a horrible mother.

>>10008695
>your mom can read your mind

Think about it for a moment.

>>10008699
I'm sure she'd understand. Think of the love! I'm almost certain Satori would be delighted to be a mother.

>>10008699
Yup, having your mom knowing everything you done would certainly be uncomfortable. Though you'd probably have some mind-reading powers of your own.

Unless you go the Koishi way and break Satori's heart in the process, you terrible terrible person.

>>10008702
It's true.

>>10008708
I'd break her heart in other ways too.

>>10008715
Oh god, the memories! THE SHAME!

>>10008716
That's horrible anon.
I can only hope that you'll suffer for your cruel actions someday...

>>10008741
I am her salvation.

>>10008760
Salvation nothing; I'm gonna punch you.

I want a mama Ran.

>>10008773
You can't stop me.

Yuyuko so I can be with Youmu.

Can't I just opt to be adopted?

>>10008781
Nonsense; I can can use my fists to accomplish ANYTHING.

>>10007982
Yuugi. The trick is picking the worst one so all the better 2hus can become mothers in your harem.

Being an Oni is really only a bonus.

>>10008796
I am invincible.

>>10008715
NO
NO
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME

>>10008802
>Yuugi
>Worst
But that's wrong. It's clearly Iku and Mamizou.
They haven't even been chosen yet.

>>10008806
No worries, you're bound to mess up eventually, and when you'll do we'll pay you a visit and... thoroughly reeducate you into a loving and caring person who wouldn't hurt a fly.

You won't even be able to think about it!

>>10008806
Well what makes YOU so great then?

How does a ghost give birth anyway

>>10008829
Ghost womb.

>>10008822
You cannot break me.
>>10008825
Justice.

>>10008829
Imagine yourself pooping a marshmallow.

>>10008835
If Justice is the key then I am sure to win!
Your cruel actions will not go unpunished!

>>10008829
1) Ghost can't give birth, it's common sense
2) Common sense does not exist in Gensokyo
3) Therefore, Yuyuko can give birth.

Easy enough!

>>10008845
I am justice.

Eirin

Also can I be born as a cute youkai?

>>10008844

fallacious proof, see me after class

>>10008835
After a visit to our mi*cough*Room of Love and Caring you are sure to become a much better person! Though perhaps not to great in the mental department, but sacrifices are necessary!

Now get in the van.

>>10008865
You're still thinking with common sense. Consider it again.

Please stop roleplaying

>>10008853
You delusional fool. I'll shatter that illusion!

>>10008880
Please calm your raging autism, friend.
And feel free to join the discussion.

>>10008889
>2012
>starting a sentence with an "and"

Have you given up common sense already? You aren't even in Gensokyo!

Anything but Ran is the wrong choice.

>>10008900
GB2/v/

>>10008889
Can you please stop using "autism" as an insult on /jp/ you disgusting neurotypical?

>>10008900
>>10008695

why is satori so sexual

>>10008903
Ran's not even on the list dude.
Take Mamizou, she's pretty much the same thing, except more easy going and fun loving and less Yukari's personal bi...servant.

>>10008919
And disregard one of /jp/'s sacred traditions?
I don't think I will.

>>10008919
Are you actually autistic? LOL

>>10008944
LEL

>>10008900
>Insisting that "And" cannot be used to start a sentence in an informal conversation.
Do tell us more about your wonderful life in Year of Our Lord 1912, my good Sir.

>>10008950
What's with all these /v/ faggots all of a sudden. Go back to your own board.

>>10008950
That's not how you greentext.

Please stop!

I believe that good people from other boards have been derailing this thread long enough already.

Let us get back to discussing which one of the ladies would make the best mother. Discussing epic adventures is fine too.

Crossboarding gentlemen, please take your discussions to one of the several designated /jp/ shitposting threads, or your own boards.
Thank you!

>>10008980
>please take your discussions to one of the several designated /jp/ shitposting threads

Alrighty.

So what were we talking about here?

>>10009004
Which Touhou we would fuck if they were our mothers.

>>10009010
All of them aside from the China, Cirno and Chen

Mamizou would be great.
Easygoing and cheerful, loves pranking people and probably knows a lot of ways to do so. And you'll get some transformation abilities of your own to fool around with.
You'll probably get able to hang out with Nue, as well.

Yukari and why is Ran not there

>>10009051
Because then everyone would choose her and no discussion would take place.
Also I don't think she'd like having that many children.

>>10009082
Nah, I wouldn't choose her.
Dealing with Yukari's shenanigans and Chen's jealousy would be difficult.

>>10008903

I don't want Ran to be my mom. I want her to be my wife.

>>10009024
>aside from Cirno

NO

Yuugi. I just feel I'd get along best with her. Plus I'd be ripped, yo.

Motherly hips are the best

I want a kanako mommy, I even get sisters!

>>10009082
Fuck no. I still stand by my answer of oni mom.

>>10009082
I'd continue being Meiling's only child.

>>10009117
She is stupid, boring and has a bad personality.

>>10009180
I want to impregnate her.

Biologic approach:
China:Nothing has been stated about her intelligence, her strength may come from training though she's tall. Overall: D

Yuyuko: Medium size, nothing stated about intelligence though she's beautiful and you may inherit these traits. Overall: D-C

Yukari:Genius IQ, beautiful but you may get narcolepsy. Overall: B

Keine:Your mother has hors, she's quite smart but not particularly beautiful. Overall:D

Eirin: Another genius, Lunarian gene pool can't be bad, sadly you get faggot jrpg villain hair. Overall:B

Komachi: Quite wise from her dialogue in the games but it looks like it came from experience, beautiful so you may get some nice traits. Overall:D

Yuka: You get to be the tough guy of the neighborhood with high levels of adrenaline, testosterone and a powerful body, you're guaranteed no pollen allergy. Overall:C

Kanako: Goddess, sharp mind and intelligence, she's quite tall and beautiful, so you'll get at least 190 cm of height. You're also a demigod. Overall:B-A

Iku: Average-high in height, everything else seems average but she's specially beautiful for being a celestial so Overall:C.

Yugi: As China but her strength is natural so you'll inherit part of it, quite tall too so get ready for a dose of MANDOM, she's an oni so you may get some "rough" face traits. Overall: C

Namusan: Well, as far as you can get being religious she's still the head of a temple and a magician, beautiful with an average height and you may not age, like her. Overall:C-B

Mamizou: You best be joking, what're you gonna do with that tail? Overall:E

>>10009198
Iku gets a C, while Yuyuko only gets D-C?

>>10009198
Consider the following:
We don't know what kind of youkai Meiling is. Most popular theory is she's a dragon, but there are others, of course. I've been gambling on getting a bit of dragon blood, but I don't need it. The training and adventure are all I need.

Yukari's sleeping habits are a result from her age; you don't have to worry about it.

Your opinion on Keine's beauty is just that; an opinion. I think she's a very pretty lady.

Your opinion on Eirin's hair color is shit; just because some faggots had that same color doesn't mean shit. It might be recessive; so you might not even get it. It might not even be her natural hair color; possibly greying from old age or colored from concocting/testing one of her medicines.

Iku a shit.

Touch fluffy tail. That's all she's got going for her. Not worth it in my opinion.

>Yukari:Genius IQ
Yukari's more cunning and experienced rather than smart.
>Keine:Your mother has hors
Only on full moon, also you forgot a letter
>she's quite smart but not particularly beautiful
Looks beautiful to me
>Eirin: sadly you get faggot jrpg villain hair
You might get silver mixed in with (your hair color). Might not be bad after all.
>Iku: but she's specially beautiful for being a celestial
Iku's not really a celestial...
>Mamizou: You best be joking, what're you gonna do with that tail?
I though hating on big bushy tails got old a year or two ago, apparently I was mistaken.

>>10009276
>>Yukari:Genius IQ
>Yukari's more cunning and experienced rather than smart.
It's said she's good at math and thus at abstract thinking.

>Iku's not really a celestial..
My bad..

About the rest, opinions.

>>10009198
>what're you gonna do with that tail
You sure you should only be worrying about the tail?

>>10009338
If you are Mamizou's son then does that mean you will have big ol' magic balls?

>>10009326
Wouldn't it be logical thinking?

>>10009366
Bigger than Komachi's bust.

>>10009338
You could be like Reimu, and smack people around with your gigantic balls.
Hee hee

>>10009379
Wowee

If your mother is beautiful, would that be inheritable as anything other than effeminate features? Or would you be a trap

>>10009383
It does have its upsides.

>>10009387
Born as a girl.

>>10009373
http://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Perfect_Memento_in_Strict_Sense/Yukari_Yakumo

>In addition, she possesses superhuman (*3) intellect, especially concerning mathematics.

There you go, read your canon, anonymous.

>>10009387
You'd get the awesome anime hair.
Seriously though, we haven't really established how genetics work in this whole process.

>>10009399
>(*3)
She's a Youkai, so it's not really surprising.
And Ran can do supercomputer-level calculations.

>>10008596
Sounds like a setting for an RPG.

Yukari or Eirin. They have the most superior of all genes obviously. Inherit gap powers or unlimited genius works, what more could you ask for?

>>10009421
Or Kanakow, but seeing as how she treats Sanae. She'd probably just use you for her own faith gaining.

>>10009421
Plothax make for a boring life.

>>10009435
Meaning I can become a cum dump? Awesome!

>>10009435
I'll be the charismatic male the shrine needs.

>>10009388
As if my mind wasn't made up before. Massive cajones and power to disguise them, even if only as giant terrifying yukkuri, definitely breaks the game here people.

Mamizou no contest. Everyone else is faggots for not liking massive tanuki balls

pic related. A little stretching exercises can do wonders.

>>10009437
You could make other people's lives interesting for yourself, by tearing them apart of making them better.

>>10008817
Because Mamizou is that single, cool aunt that takes you to cool places, and makes you wonder why she isnt a mommy, but she tells you that she is a strong woman who needs no man.

>>10009424
That would be quite awesome.
Unfortunately, nobody would make a game like that...
Oh well, we can still imagine it.

>>10009443
Opposite, you'll be the cum machine.

>>10009454
are you trying to imply that mamizou is the nigra of youkai? Because I don't take kindly to that level of libel.

>>10009471
No, Im implying that she looks the feminist kind.
But not the stupid ones, I mean the cool feminists.

>>10009483
Cool feminists? I'm not sure what those are, but closest I can reckon, that sounds like my mom. She doesn't afraid to do a man's job, and tends to work harder than a lot of 'em from what I've seen. Is that the kind of feminist you're talking about?

I mostly just think of a high-class prankster with a cosplay fetish when I think of Mamizou.

People appear to be failing to consider Mamizou's enormous labia here. What if you died trying to fight your way out?

>>10009545
Then it would be a valiant death. That's a free ticket to Valhalla right there.

>>10009608
Failing to be born in Gensokyo sends you to Valhalla? Confusing.

>>10009649
Imagine a place based on Norse myth where everyone is a girl.

>>10009661

>>10009649
Well, regarding the new state of Nordic countries the requirements to enter Valhalla have been lowered to being able to grow a beard and be able to pee while other men stare at your back, sadly even in such condition most of the men are still unable to enter, although, in Sweeden transgender and immigrants have free access to it.

>>10009672
What a shame.
Fimbulvetr will hopefully take care of that.

>>10009672
>>10009696
A former female Somali pirate is more of a man than any Swedes seen recently. Yes I do know who died in battle recently.

Yukari gaps all the way

aaaa

Meiling or Hijiri, because they would love me, and would be good parents.

>>10009198
Please stop looking at them as if you were looking at gene pools.

>>10012205
How about no, Marxist