/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I've been trying to quit vtubers for weeks now. They're taking over my life.
I wake up in the morning thinking about stream schedules, spend all day watching lives, then watching clips of those lives immediately afterwards, and I plan my sleep schedule around which streams I'd be okay just watching the vods for.
I recently went through my youtube watch history and manually deleted every video that referenced vtubers in the slightest, muted a bunch of Discord channels that occasionally discuss the topic, and have been forcing myself to go on long nightwalks without my phone, just to get some time away from it all. But on every one of those nightwalks I catch myself humming one of the stream BGMs, or reminiscing on teetee moments between two of the girls, or imagining myself as a vtuber doing a zatsudan and telling life stories to an imaginary audience.
I can't even remember what the fuck I used to do for fun before discovering vtubers.
I was doing pretty well at distancing myself from the hobby for a few days. I've been learning some japanese, working out a bit more often, and have even been writing a visual novel. For a while, it seemed like I was back on track to being in control over my life again.

I checked out the karaoke stream as a treat to myself for not watching any vtuber content for the last 24 hours. When I heard her voice again, I felt a tightness in my chest that I haven't felt since I was in high school and still believed in romantic love.

I think I might call the police and tell them I intend to kill myself so they'll commit me to an asylum. Maybe I'll finally have some peace there.