/jp/ - Otaku Culture

I spent a long time as a NEET, but I noticed I haven't internally changed even though my life has.

I have a lot of the basic things that people wish they had. I have a happy relationship, some money, my job isn't terrible, and I have no issue talking and bonding with people(even though I don't have the energy for them). In the end I just feel like I'm nothing. I'm just coping mechanisms for things way beyond my conscious control, circling my teen habits since they're the only things that bring me any feeling of happiness in nostalgia. I'm never all the way awake, if that makes sense? I relearn basic Japanese every couple years. I keep rewatching the same animes, music, videos if I consume them at all anymore. I'm perpetually stuck in 2013.

My conclusion is that some people are just spiritually sick. Some people in the situation of being a NEET can become successful and happy, some people who become miserable wagies find their way out and a way to not feel suffering. I feel like people that are ill like we are have a much bigger battle not against our situation, but against our souls. Poor habits, autistic patterns, ingraining themselves deeper and deeper as we lose our neuroplasticity and ability to recognize ourselves in light of change. We make ourselves biomechanically fucked in the long run by never facing our fears, grasping at what is comfortable, and being unable to ascend over the walls in our minds.

I'm sick of it, aren't you?