/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46019552
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The first thought is of rage.

So what if she doesn't like my words? Leave Keine's plans; see if I care! She's not essential to them anyway. She mainly served to spread the word about it… And it's not as if it's undeserving, either! She’s a terrible mother and attempted murdering the two beautiful bundles of happiness in my arms—I look at Moichi's hand, the back of it swelling in a painful-to-look-at color—and she gets out scot-free?!

No! She deserves punishment, physical and verbal! What is she, a feeble night sparrow, gonna do to stop me anyway?

Mochi sobs, Aki whimpers.

Chest filled with a seething rage until now bottled up, I turn back to the night sparrow, body towering over hers, mean words ready to come out: “You are right, Mokou-san.” She suddenly states:. “You're completely right. Almost too right! I've no right to condemn you for hitting your child if you deem it necessary.” My eyes go wide; w-what?!

That wasn't what happened; I would never—

“H-He tried to reach for my fire; it was an accident!” Her eyes perk up, hands together doing some sort of gesture, probably something to keep herself calm; though I wouldn't know that, mind rushing and rage swirling. “I… He's immune to my fire, b-but when I saw him there, about to reach for it, something—something sparked inside me…” My eyes narrow and my mouth thins, looking down at my boy's gleaming eyes, unable to forget the violent contact of rugged flesh against silky, smooth skin.

“Oh, my… Sorry for the suppositions, then.” A small smile appears on her face and, feeling bold, she steps closer to us. My skin shivers as if threatened—why? Why'd the weakest being in Gensokyo be a threat to me, an immortal…? “It's probably your motherly instinct activating… It happens with humans too, right?” Her modest smile turns sadder. “If so, Keine's probably came up that night.”

What…? I glance at her, confused, yet take the opportunity to at least avert my eyes from the searing pain of causing pain. “She loved them from the very beginning—” yeah, as if this confused heart would let that happen. “—she'd never hurt them…”

“Hm…” She hums, walking up to the couch behind me and intently staring at me. I raise a brow. What is she…? She taps the empty space to her side. “The twins seem tired, don't you think? Let's rest a little before the second batch of curious revolutionaries come~… I-Is that alright? Suzu said these words, and I think they sounded cool…” I stare at the empty space, then at the flustered bird, and can't help but pout. Where did my rage go? I was pissed just a second ago, but now I feel so… empty inside, drained. A sliver from yesterday's night, where I and Keine quarreled; this weird emptiness came after I screamed, calling her an idiot and so many other manes when she was showing me her resolve, the consuming rage faded and gave way to this void…

Keine, Mochi…

Is this how it feels to hurt those you love? This void?

… I hate it.

My arms tighten around Mochi and, glancing towards the closed window, I wonder what Keine would do in my situation.

Ugh…

I gingerly move to the couch and sit by Mystia—she looks extra tiny…—, cradling the twins to my chest—oi, heh, there's no milk there, dummies! Stop that! “I, uh… Sorry for almost melting your face, 'kay?” She nods, smiling at me from below. The twins stopped crying, appreciating the soothing atmosphere and low voice tones. Aki's wings steadily moved up, preparing to nap; Mochi, however, looked upset, teary-eyed, and munching on his swollen hand. I feel so terrible. “… And for saying those words. Don't take it to Keine; her plans shouldn't suffer because I—”

Mystia giggles. “Don't worry, don't worry~I understand your rage towards me; it's one I feel every day.” I look at her, curious and puzzled. She keeps making weird gestures with her fingers, those big eyes occasionally going to the twins. “As a mother, I should've tried more; so what if they're fragile, if they're tinier and lighter than the others? I could've done more, worked harder, done something else, groveled and begged for someone to help us if needed… But I took the easy way out and threw two of my children out of a balcony; as I was taught, and so were my parents…” Her eyes darkened, smile fading away. I expected the lashing rage to come back, burn, and lace my tongue with its lava; the emptiness and anxiety lurking inside stopped it all. “I'll never forgive myself, nor should you me—but that's okay; my personal feelings don't matter in comparison to what we're doing. I'll carry these mistakes and won't let them shape my actions, like in here! I'll help and do whatever I can to help Keine-san's cause, so no parent in Gensokyo has to resort to what I did ever again.”

I…

I just stare, wide-eyed.

Mystia's smile returns, though small. Her hand lifts and hovers close to Mochi, but stops and retreats. “You hit your son, Mokou-san; you committed a mistake, and you're distraught because of it… Well, what are you gonna do now?”