/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>44769398
Not well if I'm being honest...
I feel like my life these past three years has gone from "I'm depressed" to "I'm hopelessly miserable and in pain".
I don't really know how much longer I can do this, I was satisfied in my life before, even if I wasn't happy I was satisfied I could do things that I wanted and reach for something in hopes that I could be something maybe someday.
But now it has all just come crumbling down, I'm in complete agony every moment of my waking life everyday I have a migraine that never goes away, my vision is all fucked up from it, I can't concentrate, the pain and pressure is unbearable.
Looking outside during the day it feels like my eyes are set on fire.
My memory is fucked, I slur my speech, I can barely have a coherent thought.
My lungs hurt, my heart hurts, my head hurts, I get phantom pains for no reason.
I get constant panic attacks for no reason to the point I haven't been able to leave my apartment for longer than ten minutes at a time for the these past few years.
No doctor has been able to help me and every doctor I bring any of my topics to say it's just anxiety and tell me to take a cocktail of SSRIs and antipsychotics.
I don't want to live a life like that but I don't want to live a life like this.
I can't make anything of myself no matter how hard I try, I can't work because of the way I am now and I can't do anything because I can't work.
I cut ties to all my friends and family because I felt too hurt talking to them.
Everything feels hopeless but I keep hanging in there hoping someday it all just goes back to the way it was three years ago.
I just want to be normal again.