/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>backpack mounted camera focuses on a man wearing a khaki shirt and pants as well as a well worn boonie cap
>the rain pours down around him while he stands in a tropical looking thicket
>"today I'm in 'he depths of the tropical rainforest of 'he mist continent looking for a rarity out in 'he wild: 'he endangered Ren Xiongmao!"
>"out here in 'he wild Xiongmaos are a rare sight, often being taken by the various nations around and slowly domestication them leading to a massive crisis in 'he conservation community!"
>"thats why despite it taking 8 weeks I've tracked her down to show you one of 'he rarest examples of girlie beastie there is!"
>the camera focuses between a dense shrubby thicket onto a simply dressed Ren Xiongmao sitting on a rock under a wide leafed fern watching the rain fall around her with an amused expression as she uses the bamboo pole in her hands to make the flow here and there
>"as you can see she's a smart girl and loves playing with the world around. Sadly its also what makes 'em so popular in both mamono and human countries!"
>"now people know them as gentle girlies but like all beasties the wrong move can set em off! Look at 'he paws on her her claws ain't the longest but her paws are wide and excel at manipulating bamboo and some are known to be trained in using polearms, talk about a dangerous sheila!"
>"now I'm gonna go and pet her!"
>the camera follows along as he creeps out of the thicket while humming loudly a popular song, this gets the Xiongmao's attention who tilts her head before smiling at the music and makes space on her rock, the explorer avoids looking at her too closely
>the explorer approaches cautiously as he observes her body language before taking a seat, he can only glance as he takes a seat imitating the way she sits
>"success! 'he Xiongmao proves why its so popularin accepting me now 'at it thinks I'm a source of amusement! But I won't last long if I don't keep her distracted, she ain't a mean beastie but with her strength I won't be walking away from this one!"
>the explorer pulls out a slightly bulky slider puzzle which catches her attention as she speaks in a foreign language, he demonstrates the toy awkwardly, shaking it then trying to realign the image which excites her.
>He offers her the toy which seems to be made for her large paws and she excitedly babbles as she sets her attention on the toy. The explorer smiles before ripping his eyes off her, facing the camera
>"as you can see 'is beastie loves new stimulation, despite her small ears she can hear sounds up to a mile away and even in 'he rain you can feel how smooth her fur is!"
>"even her paws are deceptively massive for such a cute beastie! Her back paws are just as dexterous as her upper ones despite common belief as and just look at how she grips my hand with 'em!"
>the Xiongmao giggles causing the explorer to look up with a smile before ripping his eyes from her again and focusing on the camera
>she wiggles her paws before trying to catch his hands as a games, the explorer obliges until she puts down her toy on her lap
>"now that her hands are free I can show you her deceptively powerful claws! She may not be as scary as a grizzly but her claws are something fierce! Able to rip open bamboo stalks like they're butter! One swipe of 'ese and anyone's going to be staying down!"
>"but 'ey don't eat people of course! Likes lots of these beasties 'ey actually lots of things and even though 'ey love 'eir bamboo 'ey eat fish, other animals, even fruits and veggies!"
>the Xiongmao's eyes start lighting up and after she seems transfixed on the explorer's hands and eventually shirt buttons. She tilts her head as she messes with them
>the hunter lightly backstop before her claws can sink into her clothes, he turns to the camera after ripping his gaze off of her
>"now folks even as gentle as 'ese girls are one always needs to know when its getting too dangerous!"
>he pulls out a small ragdoll in vivid colors which the Xiongmao's follow as if conflicted in taking her eyes off the explorer
>the explorer tosses it in a small arc which causes her to reach her paws out
>in that small time period the camera turns to the thicket before he heads off running, you hear a sad shout as the explorer tries to visibly not turn his head
>" 'ats all for now folks, I hope you learned a lot about Xiongmao in 'eir natural habitat and why 'ey're so endangered! See you next time!"

>Come home to your crummy little apartment
>There's a lazy NEET panda on your couch
>Emptied bags of dried bamboo snacks and crumpled cans of soda pop already litter the floor. The TV is playing Mist Continent programs you can't understand.
>Can't kick her out. She has diplomatic immunity.
>Not even technically allowed to touch her since she's endangered.
>Throws tantrums if you refuse her demands, which are usually for food, games, or being the little spoon in your bed
>You consider moving and making a run for it until you see your bank account
>Panda caregivers get big money from the government. You can comfortably quit your job but that means spending all day with spoiled-ass Zhen Zhen or Bao Bao or whatever her name is

Bro, you gotta marry the panda. Listen, dude, they're endangered and precious to the Mist Continent, you gotta marry a panda and help repopulate. It's gotta be you because pandas, uh...are super picky, yeah! Super hard to get em to breed but you're like one in a million pandabait, you gotta do it. It's just the one panda, I SWEAR, after that we definitely won't ask you to marry more.