/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>20681781
Swiss, the kind you feed her with a kiss
and Edam, for when you really need to feed 'em.
Havarti, for when it's time to party.
Provelone for when it's time to bone.
preferably prone

>>20372618
An Alaskan Field Mouse?

>>17013012
I dunno about you but it's around 4am here. Usually all I'm thinking about at this hour is the heat death of the universe and sandwiches.

Have a sandwich mouse for your thoughts.

>>16421568
This got me thinking. At some point you'd visit your wife's town, village or city of origin.

Imagine marrying an Oni and being introduced to her rough, mountain bandit family. Living in a crude stronghold near the top of the mountain's peak.

Maybe marrying a Mouse Girl and meeting her gigantic family. Having to remember all of their names, young and old. All living in a complex of ramshackle houses and holes in the wall.

Or maybe you're just married a Dhampir whose only family is her mother, but they aren't exactly on the best of terms and you have to apparently fight your way through her haunted castle in time for Dinner at her grand dining room.

I want to take a bunch of Mouse Girl orphans who sing this as they do chores.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0bOH8ABpco

>>15247054
Maybe you should step away from the computer and have a snack?

>>14551966
I would go, but I'd try to get the number of one of the girls there, so I can sniff her outside of working hours.

>>14520426
I'd do this, but for the exploding population of Mouse Girls.

Most of them live on the streets, a lot of them born into poverty, that know nothing other than swarming lone men at night.

I'm going to bring them up to be refined young ladies, make sure they go to school, maybe even college.

>>14259842
This is what I told this one mouselester. You dick one as punishment, they'll start doing mischief on purpose to get caught.

Before you know it, your lounge will be filled with pregnant mouse girls, lying around eating your cheese and watching your television.

And you'll need to take responsibility for every litter they give birth to.

Would you stop if a sammich were offered?

>>14045820
>"Just a little snack guys..."

>>13657820
>>13657825
All options aside from Maus girls are terrible. Lich Necromancer is okayish, but having your loved ones raised is not something people will enjoy.
There's also the worry that the lich might be wanting more in the future.

The maus bandits are the safest choise by far. Though you'll need additional defences and people in your village to help out to really secure the place. The maus bandits also have the fairest demands. A single man and cheese for their services is a good deal.

The Salamander Mercenary isn't a mercenary but a thug. It's the typical type of scum that offers "protection" and does way more harm than good.
The Oni sisters aren't much better, but atleast they ask the things you expect them to ask. It's still not a very good idea.

So in short, love the maus bandits.

I promised a ring for her finger, ribbons for her flaxen hair~
I promised never to set sail in foul weather but stay by her side at the shore~
Oh, fare thee well you Barbary Merchants~
Fare thee well to the Spanish Blockade~
Fare thee well to the Strait of Gibraltar~
And the treacherous Sea of Cathay~

>>13130953
They will all want to be your wife.

Okay everyone, think of a Monster Girl, your favorite or use http://monstergirlencyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Random to get a random Monster Girl.

Got one? Okay.

That Monster Girl is a chef, what is her signature dish?

>>12868713
But Anon.

Mouse pussy is too small.

>>12568175
Well sure, but you help them get back on their feet. So they can live better lives.
>>12568179
Yes, that's considered a nice thing to do, they might be too weak to rape a man to get semen.