/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>46560055
Because losing feels good, to put it simply. Monsters make it feel good. You'll lose, too, and you'll enjoy it. Brats like you get pleasured so hard when they lose they get addicted to losing and start doing it on purpose.

>>46461621
like you need to ask

>>45886171
>THE devil
How come there's no THE demon? It's not fair. I can only sell my soul to A demon.

>"Anon, I'm home!"
>"Mao... What a day. I'm so tired, Darling, you wouldn't believe it."
>"No, no, I'm fine. Just... c'mere"
>Demon wife holds her arms out for you - her normally emaculate suit is dishevelled and creased. Her tail lacked it's normal energy. Dark lines creased under her black eyes
>"Oh... god I needed this."
>Pulls you into an exhausted hug, placing her head onto your own and collapsing slightly into you - somewhat awkward given she's a few inches taller than you are, even without her trademark high heels.
>"Sorry, Darling, I don't mean to unload on you I just... squeezes you tighter and exhales I just really need to unwind right now. Could you run me a-"
>Squeeze base of her tail to interrupt her, one of the only ways to get her cunning mind to stop racing. As amazing as your wife is, sometimes she thinks too hard
>Tell her that you've already got a bath ready. You allow yourself the treat of watching her dull eyes sheen and red iris bloom
>"Oh... oh anon. "
>She pulls you even tighter into her chest, ignoring how it will crease her blouse and suit jacket further .They say demons have no hearts, yet you hear a happy thumping behind hers.
>"And is that..." she sniffs the air "no... you didn't..."
>You did. Her favorite stew is simmering on the stove.
>"Anon... you are such a fantastic..."
>She hugs you so tight and leans into you so much you almost trip - it's a wonder how her suit isn't tearing right now
>"You are such a wonderful..."
>Plants a kiss onto your forehead - a lightning bolt of mana shoots through you. You melt into her grip, now her the one supporting you. A magic-imbued, rose-coloured marking remains as a loving mark and reminder of EXACTLY who's husband you are
>"Such a good boy"
>You hate it when your wife has a stressful day at work, but you'll always be there as her silver lining

>Anon, care to explain why you missed your 12 o clock hand holding session with me?
>Oh please, I'm ALL ears. I'm just DYING to know what excuse you have for not wanting to INTERLACE OUR FINGERS as we always do.
>I'm waiting... this had better be good, or else I'll withhold my hourly I love you texts for a week

>So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?
>With your head between my legs, mam.
d-did I say the wrong thing to get the job?

>>45271975
>monsters telling you you have a 'lewd body' that's 'asking for correction'

>>45264935
Agreed!
I love a woman who dresses for the occasion!

>>45129174
Servitude comes naturally to demons

My pussy sends her regards

>>45016802
>...and today I walk into my office and the bitches over at Bergman Sachs put a sniper on their roof

>>44841670
Give it up, Chief Mama's boy.

Imagine accidentally calling your unmarried demon english teacher 'mom' in class

>>44742048
it's a bit of a silver bullet. even mean monsters don't like to see boys cry
not like you'll get away with being unmarried, even so. if the gyaru don't get you, the unmarried teacher who hears you crying in the hall will.

>>44562166
>>44562138
>>44562059
She's happy for you to suggest games to her NEET group. Demons love board games, one of her favourites is Diplomacy.

>a gathering of close monster friends meet up with each other after portals open
>all of them coincidentally forced themselves on epic gamers and, by extension, human gaming culture
>bubbly kobold is giddy talking about her hubby's cool games collection
>"there's this little red man who jumps down pipes and saves a pretty princess from a big scary dragon and it's so cool you gotta see it yougottayougottayougotta~!"
>comedically deadpan lich apothecary cracks the faintest smile talking about her new partner's simulators
>"While some of these scenarios were simplistic, and others charmingly trivial, there are a select few that I am thankful for being exposed to."
>genki big sister dragon gushes over how much gold her new treasure has accumulated during an admirable MMO career
>"His hoard is one to be revered--no, feared! All will tremble before his immeasurable wealth and arsenal of stupefying artifacts! Together we will be the scourge this wretched land deserves!"
>nervous little wendigo dwarfed by her companions, even sitting on a stack of books, chatters mostly to herself about her boyfriend's cooking games
>"I-I really liked the way the meat looked, awawawa..."
>saloondooropen.mp4 plays in the distance
>a lone, haggard figure stands as a silhouette against the flood of light
>as the menace steps closer and closer, color fills the black shape until it resembles the gang's de facto demon leader
>her outfit is disheveled
>her hands won't stop shaking
>her eyes are dull and thousand-yard
>she's been crying so hard it looks like she was drowned
>she staggers over to her loving companions, taking irregular footsteps, refusing to make eye contact with anyone
>lich-san is the first to speak up, holding Demon-sensei's hands still and asking "Are you alright?"
>her gaze slowly turns toward lich-san's face with the unease of a war veteran
>they look directly into each other's eyes for a solid minute, until Demon-sensei meekly whispers
>"White phosphorous is a common allotrope used in many types of munitions."

>>42768255
Think of it as... proactive dating. You want a girl that takes initiative right anon?

>>42729626
Very true, I need to be tricked into signing a contract by a demon

>>42700388
If it's a EULA for a major game or service, she's most likely a matchmaker demon rather than one out to marry you. Who knows, she just might find your perfect waifu for you. Sign it. Sign it right now.

Your demon boss is being smug at you!

>Seduced by a high-ranking Demon executive. She practically crawls over her own desk in anticipation while coaxing you to take pen in hard and write your life away to her.
>"Just sign right here and your troubles are over. You'll be miiiiine. Serve me, body and soul, and an eternity of debauchery awaits."
>You sign it and essentially become a househusband
>She works seven days a week, usually gone for twelve hours at a time, sometimes more when she has to stay over
>She's exhausted every time she comes off. Kicks her heels off at the door and stumbles into you with her arms outstretched before wrapping around you like a love-starved child and whining. "Honeeeeeeey! Work was sooo haaaaa~aaaard."
>The world of demonic business is apparently pretty vicious and demanding. On the worst days she comes home for lunch so you can stroke her hair and rock her in your lap while she stress-cries.
>She's never in her business clothes for more than a minute when off work. Her 'comfort clothes' are either a pair of silk pajamas two-sizes-too-big or a pair of black cotton panties and a shirt you've been wearing
>She gets upset if you have dinner ready before she gets home because she wants to 'cook with you'.
>'Cooking with you' means she hugs your waist, kisses your neck, and talks about her day while following you around the kitchen and watching you work
>One day as she's complaining about the constant plotting of her coworkers you jokingly offer to show up at her workplace with flowers or something to make them all jealous. Your wife goes pale (which looks odd considering she's blue) and rapidly shakes her head. "Honey, no no no, anything but that. If they find out I'm not single they'll eat me alive."

>You will sign the contract
>You will eat the food she cooked for you
>You will wear the Dragon Quest V cosplay and pretend to be the noble hero corrupted by the gorgeous and irresistible Demon Queen when you make love
>You will not tell her intimidating business colleagues about her embarrassing collection of hero figurines
>You will cuddle with her on the couch, stroke her hair, and watch reruns of Farscape with her

It's all there in writing, black and white, clear as crystal.

>>38554302
Well, at the very least that contract is so slimy not even a tanuki would use it and any demon could get you out of it. Unfortunately, none of that would save you from the cat. The game. You need to learn one of these days, Anon.