/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>29004653
>Everything my body had done so far fell within normal operating procedures for a human machine. But my body took one defensive measure which I am told was without precedent in medical history. It may have happened because some wire short-circuited or some gasket blew. At any rate, I also retracted my testicles into my abdominal cavity, pulled them into my fuselage like the landing gear of an airplane. And now they tell me that only surgery will bring them down, again.
-Kurt Vonnegut, "Breakfast of Champions"

>>24468135
OVER THE YEARS I HAVE SCOURED EVERY LAND AND COUNTRYSIDE.
BUT NEVER, NOT ONCE, DID I EVER CONSIDER TO SCOUR MY OWN CUTE AND FUNNYSIDE.
IMAGINE THE SHOCK.
IMAGINE THE SHAME.
IMAGINE THE GAME .

So there I am, sitting in my dying room at the end of the week, relaxing with a bottle of château de évaqaleâ and an Quzilax doujinshi, when all the sudden I heard a peculiar sliding and squelching behind me.
Turning towards my door, my eyes met something truly horrid: two lively eyes of pure jadedness set in an indescribably jovial jowl, all encased in seaweed follicles and red-garnet fibers. All currently trying to make their way through my front window, only held back by an inconceivably rotund body.

It was at that point that I realized: this was no ordinary Friday. No... not that day. It's... it's...
"IT'S FAT FUCK FINA FRIDAAAAAAAAAAAYYY!" I screamed in shock.
Everyone knows of Fat Fuck Fina Friday, the holiday where Fina breaks into some ill-prepared NEETs house and just acts like a little shithead until all of her ten, maybe eleven, desires are met. There are ceremonial procedures to prevent her from entering her house, like a double-barrel shotgun, but I didn't rember this unhappy day!

Fina stopped, and slowly turned to to face me, raising her index finger in air, smile unchanging. "It's Hina," she graciously offered, before turning back to the task at hand. At that moment, she began to peristalticly percolate past the portal with precision, each flab of her flesh making a fearsome sound as it passed the point of no return.
"Schflwoop... Schflwoop... Schflwoop..."

Guys, what should I do?!
What do you think will keep Fina back in the Bay of Pigs where she belongs?!

the wait for the next time we play is killing me

What is happening?

>>16416360
What's the point of a Flan doujin if she isn't abusing her Four of a Kind, each Flan growing a penis and roasting everyone in sight!?

>>12898627

>mfw Yukari's secret finally reveals itself to me

This changes everything. If I'm correct, then this makes Yukari objectively the best Touhou, bar none. No wonder ZUN made her a Phantasm Boss.

I liked her before, but this puts her on par with my favorite Touhou for the past several years. I just want to say that Yukari fans have the best taste.

And not saying what the secret is will be my hint.

>>11706127

>>11702800
heh I knew you would notice...you've fallen into my...trap!! !

>>11618175
THEY ACCEPT FOREIGN SEMEN?!
It's hard to donate semen when I am only 5'7, but that's the average in Japan. So maybe I'll be able to finally make money by masturbating if I go there.

>>11075487

>>10943378

>>10608907
I loved these. Some of them were really clever. Things like that make everything /jp/ puts me through all worth it.

>>10496696

>>10433005
git outto.

you discovered ur fater was a women?!??!?!?

>>10233877

>>9970813