/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Reposting since it was just a few posts from the end of last thread

I got thinking about that one critique when I posted my last story update and it was pretty spot-on. I was clearly rushing to get to certain parts and the prose didn't have the meat to it that it usually did. So I went back and fixed that after I got back from holiday stuff, about doubling the length from 5k'ish to 10k'ish words.

http://pastebin.com/ZZC24tUf

I'm afraid it's still just a rewrite starting at line 2300 though. Hopefully it's good enough for a few people to read twice. I'll get to work on a new update soon with more plot stuff.

Hope you enjoy.