/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Big soft zombies!

>Best friend calls you the night before prom
>Says he needs your help
>Wants to take his wight waifu to prom
>But her parents are forcing them to take her still zombie sister
>Doesn't want to babysit her the whole night
>Asks you to take her
What do you say?

>Zombie watches too much Corpse Bride
>Gets idea that if she buries herself in winter, in the finest wedding dress she has and leaves her bony hand sticking out someone will place a ring on her hand
>All of winter she waits and no bite
>Angry lich has to scoop her out of the mud once April rolls around and chastises her
>Promises to get her a man if she stops doing it
>Refuses as this is her dream and she won't give up on it
>Lich eventually finds man willing to play along and weds her
>Guy eventually starts getting nervous as his new zombie wife mutters something about poisoned wine

>>21692431
>Zombie waifu goes swimming
>Sinks to the bottom and gets waterlogged
>Have to pull mershark lifeguard away from giving her boyfriend "CPR" to help get my waifu
>Annoyed the whole way and gives me attitude
>Zombie waifu looks upset about being away from me all that time
>Hugs me and refuses to let go muttering about "Warm"
>Take her home to dry her inside and out
I feel like anyone married to a zombie long enough must have a truckload of these stories on the ready to embarrass their wight

Millions of people are injured in flying button accidents every year.
Don't be a statistic-buy your waifu a shirt that fits.