/jp/ - Otaku Culture

(1/4)
—
There's silence.

Chen didn't want to come today, and, for sure, I was surprised: she never misses a visit day, yet today she babbled blatant excuses before running off to do whatever. Anon, of course, was saddened, but what struck me even more is that it lasted only a moment. ‘She just wants to have some free time; there's nothing wrong with that—growing girls love free time.’ His smile had an air of experience to it.

So, for the first time ever, me and Anon were alone in the fake shrine, incensers burning Chen's favorite combination, both of us dressed in knitted wares, dry leaves falling on the outside and covering the earth with a mantle of reds and browns, and the smell of mushrooms gave the air a crunchy taste. Fall just began.

We drink hot tea, mirroring that same position during the rainy season, with my tails providing warmth for the both of us. It feels much different with just us, though—the silence is just...

There's something more. Something at the top of my mouth.

I sense movement to my side, turning to see his eyes looking at me and, in the silence that follows a calm smile, a tiny nod, and his face turning to the outside, a cold breeze striking him and making him tremble, one of my tails rising unconsciously to wrap gently around his neck, a gift as he tugs in there with a fond smile and whispered gratitude... In that silence, my heart aches for news. Teutetsu relayed the information to Okina, right? What are they doing now? When will she return and contact me again? Did Okina even accept to do something against Yukari and help free Anon?

The questions rush from the depths of my mind for no reason, and I feel my frown creasing. Why now, at this moment of peace, do I worry? I already do that throughout the whole day, but now that I can escape from all the horrors, this forever static in my ears, these voices one layered on top of the other; the haunting screams that echo throughout the building everytime Yuuka visits; the nights I can't sleep and have to remember Yukari's words, my Chen—my precious Chen—safety on the line, and the many times challenge and fight turned to lust and crime, friends and people that sparked hope in my eyes, that I quietly trusted because there's always an eye over my shoulder, people that could help him just to give in to their basic instincts; and it's so much corruption, it's so much, and I... I simply cannot—

Then there's warmth on my cheek. A hand, calloused and hurt, but soft and kind. I look at Anon again, my brow rising—a question itself. His raises one too, but in a weird sense that somehow perfectly reads, 'are you serious?' And... I just sigh, melting on his hand, his thumb caressing flesh like it was precious. His light, hm? Heh...

Stress has a hold of me, as I've come to notice recently. Outside, I never stop: I'm always doing something to someone—Yukari, clients—am always on the move, wide-eyed, seeing corruption and unrestrained lust, and it's really bad if it's seeping into my only moment of respite. Though, normally, Anon tries to make me talk about the problems; maybe cook or entertain me—after all, he cares.

Yet, today...

He came closer to me, guiding my cheek to his shoulder, where I laid without a single struggle, my nine tailtips bobbing. The wind blew, making the wind chimes gently play their tunes, and the warmth was comfortable and cozy. My mind wandered about, eyes feeling heavy, and I lazily drank from my tea, not even noticing how empty and calm my head had gotten. Thoughts not forgotten, but merely put at ease.

Not a blind eye turned away from crime; only necessary rest.

Without words, as his hand caressed my arm up and down, I could feel the air loaded with a solemn 'Thank you'. If it came from me or him, it was hard to say, but it was simply there and reached the hearts of both of us.

One of my pointy ears tickled his nose. I could feel his throat vibrating with repressed laughter, followed by a tender kiss on the sassy ear.

I breathed in, and then I breathed out.

That thing on the top of my mouth revealed itself as my eyelids filled with lead, my face placid, and I smiled the slightest thing.

I'm glad neither Tetsu and Chen are here; I don't think the inflammation of my face and loud heartbeat could be explained with a straight face.

Truly, there's silence, not a word exchanged.

But words are sometimes not necessary to express yourself. Sometimes, you just need to be there to understand.

Sheesh...

As a dream world made of tenderness and silence called me as opposed to the hell of fire and screams that plagued me recently, I can't help but wonder: who would think a shikigami—a being with the only purpose in life being that of serving the master—could seek something like this?

Seek a life of give and take in equal measures, a life of respect and tenderness, of walking side-by-side, not staring at one's back.

A life good to me and to Chen...

Who'd think a shikigami's heart could bud love?