/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>10154590

I would buy you alcohol and then suck you off for free

The Great Loli Wizard vists you on your birthday. She apologizes for your shitty life, and as a consolation, offers you a selection of one of four choices:


The Sugoi-Mecha dick rocket-

Your penis will become stiff and explosive, and launch from your pants with great accuracy to destory a target. You can shoot your penis rocket once a day. Your dick grows back overnight.The explosion's strength is determined by how long it's been since you shot the rocket.If it's only been a day between shots, it'll be strong enough to blow a door off of it's hinges. After a week, enough to destroy a concrete wall. After a month, enough to destory a car. After a year, you can destroy a large warehouse or hospital. 10 years will give your dick enough power to destroy an island.

The Kawaii Wand-

A wand that will transform you into a cute magical girl whenever you do it. You must memorize a a dance and incantation, and use it whenever you want to become a magical girl. Your magical girl powers will be determined by your personality, the content of your heart, and the ideal mental image you have of a magical girl. On the downside, monsters will try to rape you every day.

>>9810467

Jesus Christ, how many fucking CS majors are on 4chan? Have fun getting your career stolen by some tiny-dicked Indian fuck with a stupid mustache and a hideous accent.

A touhou game where you are a magical girl that kills touhous and eventually burns Gensokyo to the ground before sending it into a black hole to never exist again.

It's a beat-em up with lots of gore.

Because Asians are slanty-eyed pieces of pretentious shit, duh.