/jp/ - Otaku Culture

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Spork over shoulders, scowling, I look at the place, one word popping into my mind: dump. The Hakurei Shrine used to look prideful… Meh, don't care. Marching forward, left-hand still tingling with Ranni's gap snap—better than the opposite: gap snap on the left: controllable situation. On the right? Emergency—soon my eyes land on the miko kneeling in front of the shrine and meditating, the moonlight bathing her and giving a sense of serenity… Although it was an illusion soon shattered as she frowned, opened one eye, and stared at me. "Ran said you'd might come."

"Keh, that's how you say 'hi' to an old friend? Remember when I beat you so hard you had to call your friends—"

"Yes, I remember." Her tone was raspy, eye twitching… but whatever rage there faded with a calm breath in and out. "It was a learning experience—I was so used to winning back then…" Oh?

"Not much anymore, eh?" I squat in front of her, ten feet apart, her meditation pose is still maintained. She stares, yet simply nods. "Huh… Anyway, Ranni can't come today." Her face was sour, then concerned. It's interesting—from reactive aggressiveness to halting thought, reflection, and finally calm. Meh, although it'd be funny to probe, better leave it to when we aren't within a safe time limit. "What do you already know?"

She tells me, and it seems Ranni only gave the thick strokes, perhaps by lack of time to get the miko filled in. I finish filling Reimu in the details, from the possible time of attack—the Winter Festival—to our allies, and she really doesn't seem to like the involvement of the Moriya shrine, but whatever qualms she has, she keeps to herself.

Okay, it's getting uncanny…

"Ya know," I get her attention. "You used to be much more straightforward, a 'no bullshit'-type of girl, if you will—the fuck happened?"

Her eyes narrow, accusatory, yet to my dismay, only silence follows for some moments—what the…?

Opening her eyes, I feel somewhat deflated with just how… I really don't know how to explain it. Her make me feel tired. "I stopped being that person when I had my only daughter. Became someone better—then someone worse; much worse." I nod to nothing. Who in Gensokyo doesn't know about her crimes? "Now I'm trying to return to being that person when my daughter was born—that's what changed."

"You seem to struggle, though—all these pauses and internalization freak me out…" Reimu's eyes narrow again, and she relaxes with the same pattern of calming herself down. Gah… I can put up with Ranni's silence; it's easy to read her—but Reimu? I don't even know why I'm so tense; I can still beat her in combat…

… But does that even matter?—gah, Ranni!

"Lack of trying made me lose my family. If it freaks people out or not, I don't care." I hide my embarrassment. Maybe it wasn't the best thing to say… Still, Reimu seems serene. "… When I lost to you all those years ago, I really didn't get up and tried again, even though I should've—I was so shaken for actually losing… It makes me wonder what results I could've gotten if I kept trying." She looks at her own hands, desolate for a moment, before recovering with an inhalation, her eyes thoughtful. "Well? Do you have anything more to add, Toutetsu?"

Sheesh, more obvious than that, and she'll kick me out of the shrine with Danmaku. I 'tsc…' at nothing in particular, getting up and saying, "Nope—no need to say it twice, I'll take my leave." I turn and walk away from the newest member of the alliance—but stop, something otherworldly taking over me. "You know…" I give her a sideways glance. "I could eat that."

"Hm?"

"When you stop and think—and all that bullshit—you're fighting against something inside, right? Must be hard doing it all the time…" Her silence is as loud as a yes. "I could eat that. Rid you of all of that… shit." I don't know why I'm doing this, and it makes me feel weird to just offer to use my powers for something so—gah! Ranni's worst is rubbing on me; I can feel it!

Embarrassed, I look at her face, expecting to see rage for such an outlandish offer; maybe concern for my mental health…

"Thank you, but I'll have to refuse," It was said without hesitation and a calm smile, tired strains of her complexion now softened. "It's a… gentle offer. But getting rid of these sins; of these consequences, would only seed the soil with the same old seeds I don't want to plant again—yet, I'll carry them anyway."

"Oh, uh… It's okay—sorry for offering; I was kind of insensitive and… Sorry, okay?"

"No harm done—sorry for freaking you out, too. Thank you for your efforts in saving my—in saving Anon." And so she closes her eyes, returning to her meditative state, looking much more at peace than when I arrived.

I fiddle a bit with my spork, mumbling "you're welcome…” and not knowing what to do for a moment—then the Miko giggles.

Beet-red, I sped up my leave, not wanting to embarrass myself anymore. It's hard to deal with people with problems when there's not much familiarity involved… Gee…