/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>10871786

I tried to get into drawing awhile back; I even kept at it for several months.

I fucking loathed everything I drew. Every. Single. Thing. It was never cute, pretty, correct, neat, interesting, no matter how hard I tried it looked like a five-year-old's first attempt at making an image on the computer. I started doodling in my notes just to practice some more, and that just made studying all the more frustrating because now all the shitty faces and heads were there to remind me of how shitty I was at drawing. I'd hate the drawings I'd make AS I was making them.

And don't get me started on the feelings of self-loathing I got whenever I looked at anything on the internet after drawing for awhile. Sometimes, a few rare times, I'd start to feel mildly satisfied with something I was working on. Then later, I'd find even a basic sketch on the internet that made my best efforts look like absolute trash. I'd look back at my picture again, and it WAS absolute trash. Everything I tried to make was trash.

I eventually stopped drawing altogether, and became happier for it. No more ugly faces and poses in my notes as I studied, no more dealing with frustration for hours on end as I struggled (and failed) to make the most basic of lines look not-shit, none of that. I was free from this horrid stress.

So no, fuck you, I'm not going to draw a loli. It would be an insult to all lolis.

This is getting too Goddamn frustrating. I'm on the VERGE of being able to 1cc UFO. Hell, on my last attempt, I hit max lives more than once. But then I hit Stage 5 and lose a bunch of lives to curvy lasers and then I reach the boss and fuck up some more so that I reach Stage 6 with BARELY 2.00 Power, two lives, and MAYBE a bomb.

And then I get frustrated so that if I try again, I start dying to shit on the first or second stage. There is NO excuse for losing a life on the first or second stage! (Well, SA's first stage is unusually tough, but eh.)

So then I have to stop and do other things to calm myself and regain focus, except I'm staying frustrated because all I want to do is get back at UFO and finish it off! I hate this rut. I know I'll get through it, I know I'll have a run where I won't lose lives to stupid shit and I'll 1cc this game and move on to the next one, but right now it's just incredibly frustrating.