/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Big narrativepost incoming.

Amelia spent most of her life caring for someone that she eventually lost. That obviously means a family member, and it makes the most sense for it to be her older brother. You wouldn't trust the care of the elderly to a child, and if it were a parent that were ill, wouldn't the duty have fallen on her brother's shoulders? And if it is her older brother, it would make perfect sense for her to be the one caring for him because her parents were probably busy working to pay for his treatments.

So she lived her whole life taking care of and supporting her brother, just to finally lose him one day and feel crushed 'til there's nothing left inside. Filling the void with games and the internet. But little by little she made it out to the other side and found her happiness and sense of purpose again. Now she wants to help other people move on with their lives as well, because having lived it herself she truly understands what it's like to feel depressed, alone, and listless.

That's more or less the narrative that most people arrived at. I think it's a good one, and definitely has some truth to it, but perhaps it's missing a piece of the puzzle.

What's her brother's story?

If Amelia spent most of her life caring for him, then he must have had some kind of condition that was with him from birth or a very young age. Maybe he was hospitalized or at least forced to stay home for most of his life, and never had a chance to live a normal life at all. Or maybe it wasn't quite that severe, but being in and out of a hospital at such a crucial age would impair your social skills and chances to make friends. And perhaps the family always knew his condition was terminal, and it was a miracle that he survived as long as he did. A miracle it may be, but it would likely be accompanied by a sense of despair anyway; how hard it must be to live when you know your time is limited so much more than normal.

When I imagine such a person, isolated, full of dread, lacking connection to anyone outside of immediate family, I see them taking solace in hobbies. Video games are an obvious choice of escape. Given his sister's interests, maybe manga and anime as well, niche ones even. And wouldn't the internet seem like the perfect haven as well? A place where even someone doomed by his own body to so cold a lifestyle can reach out and feel the warmth of companionship.

As you stare at the portrait of this older brother, a realization begins to dawn on you. The diagnosis may be different, but the symptoms greatly resemble many such cases you are familiar with. If you ignore the literal disease for a moment, wouldn't it sound like a common backstory for the loners of the internet? The lost souls adrift that find themselves washed up on the shores of sites just like this one?

It may even be, given the timeframes involved, more likely than not that Amelia's brother literally used to post here.

If you've been around long enough, you may have even talked with him on some board or another without realizing it. Maybe he was one of those anons you remember saying he wasn't gonna make it. Maybe he was someone who's posting style you recognized then one day never noticed again, and gradually faded from your memory. Or maybe he was just out there talking about the things that brought him joy. Maybe he was just having a blast shitposting away.

Maybe saying that cheapens his story and Amelia's a bit, adding fuel to the fires of the "OMG /ourgirl/ ECKS DEE" narratives. But even if he wasn't literally an anon, isn't safe to say that he was the type of person that would have felt right at home here? The kind that you would feel kinship with no matter where on this planet they came from.

I think, then, that Amelia doesn't only want to help people because of her own struggles. I think she really sees fragments of her brother's soul in the eyes of so many silently suffering people. She wants to help people like that move forward and live the lives her brother never had the chance to. If she can do that, then maybe her brother's loss would not have to be in vain.

Maybe that's too "perfect" of a story. Maybe I've got it all wrong and it is was her parent or something. But if I am right, I'd like to believe her brother is up there in heaven smiling, watching his very soul manifest in his sister guiding others from the abyss.

I think I want to live.