/jp/ - Otaku Culture

Gentlemen. Lovely day now, isn't it, especially now that last nights Cat-astrophy is over. But hey, do I have the deal that's purr-fect for you. Don't worry, there's no cats in this deal. Maybe.

So, to sign this contract, it's very simple! Just answer this question and it'll determine what your contract for your waifu entails:

>You come across a small fountain filled with pennies. You have pennies in your pocket. The small sign next to it says "Take a Penny, Leave a Penny." Do you take a penny, or leave a penny? Or do you do both, take one and leave one? Choose one of the three options.

Alright gentlemen, times up to sign up! You all will have your waifu, but she'll come with the corresponding color's terms and conditions.

>Red
Your Monster Waifu now has severe bipolar disorder. She'll snap into fits of rage seemingly unprovoked, and likely abuse you physically. You're more than welcome to stick around with her and try to heal her, but it'll likely take years upon years of therapy, healing and medication before you see any progress. Her feelings for you, when she's calm and normal, will be of pure love and she'll feel remorse for her actions. Just pray your waifu is a weak and small one so the bruises don't hurt too badly.

>Blue
Your waifu actually has no personality quirks forced upon her, but she will have illness. This specific illness will cause her to slowly grow weaker as time goes on, and eventually she'll wither away. You'll have no way to determine the time frame of this, it could be a week, it could be years. You might never need to worry about it, or you might blink and she's gone. You can cure her of this illness anytime by voluntarily Alping yourself. Whether she stays with you depends entirely on her personality, though know you'll have an Alp's needs regardless.

>Purple
Roll between 1-3. Your waifu is bodyswapped into a (1)Jabberwock, (2)Apophis, or (3)Familiar. If she is already one of the species roll again until she's a different one. Her mental state will be the same, but she'll have to cope with what is likely an odd, foreign, and uncomfortable body that'll take a long time to get used to, if she even likes it. She will know you were responsible for her new body, how she takes it is up to her personality.

If you were one of the special snowflakes who chose a different color, than congratulations, you passed the secret test! Your secret box option is:
You're an Alp now. Be grateful ingrate.

>>12978017
I thought we agreed these virgins were mine. Go to the /gfd/ thread on /r9k/ if you really need poor saps.