/jp/ - Otaku Culture

>>42407764
Ms. Tanuki please stop shilling your shows

How do I scrounge up enough money to buy a night with a tanuki without going into debt?

>Wake up early after going to bed early after that giant dinner last night
>Morning wood so ubiquitous I you’d think my mom was a dryad
>But no she’s a tanuki
>Gotta jerk off but goddamn Gremdows is updating again
>Probably more spyware and a reset to bright mode
>Phone is dead cause I forgot to put it in charge after falling asleep last night to mantis hunting you because you went on a hike and forgot it was mating season asmr
>Try to wait for it to go down but it ain’t going down plus I gotta take a piss now
>Desperate I steal my sister’s laptop and run back to my room
>Open it to see she forgot to close her tabs
>Probably just market analysis pdfs or stock projections
>It’s an onlyfans
>Never thought sis would do that, considering her body is built like a plank
>But from the looks of it she’s got a ton of fans
>Click on post and immediately scrolls down cause I’m not into incest
>See most of the comments are compliments for her cute penis
>Sis didn’t strike me as the one to wear a strap-on and parade as a boy
>Money does make tanukis do crazy things
>I should know from the time mom almost considered selling me off to her rich lonely friends
>Or the time sis made me help her sell semen/cunny juice lemonade with no semen nor cunny juice in either lemonades practically robbing sabbath men and shotacon hags of their money
>Or when during winter she made me work in her hugging stand and made me hug lots of shivering snakes and heat seeking zombies
>Still my curiosity takes the better of me and I scroll back up
>See it’s only body shots, and the body is strangely masculine with chest hair
>Didn’t know she was that good with magic
>Strange that her body also has the same mole I do on my pec
>Even has the same scar I do on my side that I got after getting tackled into a piece of loose metal by a jinko for slapping her ass and calling her fat then running away
>That dumb cat was crying and apologizing so much
>Anyways enough looking at fake reverse alp porn
>I login into monsterhub and search big milfy milky minotaur working out with young man